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Saas Bina Sasuraal
Saas Bina Sasuraal

Selfish Family (even in real world) (Page 2)

rajh IF-Sizzlerz
rajh
rajh

Joined: 04 May 2011
Posts: 12314

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by pgshah

its def not a question about being happy or sad or trying to save her own marriage here...but the thing is how can you get so much engrosed into your family and forget parents. 20 years of marriage...you do not need to work on saving it!! yes if it is newly wedded than things are little different.

I feel a girl has equal responsibilty like sons ...she needs to take care of her parents too after marriage. Now aday girls give agni sanskar to thier parents...and there are girls like her who do not want to go for funeral because she feels what is the use!!!

 



in 20 years -you have different set of family.i.e-husband ,children,wife etc..

now a days many sons and daughters send there parents to vrudhashrama[old age shelters].but who are we to question them.??

pgshah Groupbie
pgshah
pgshah

Joined: 10 February 2009
Posts: 90

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by tasha80

Originally posted by bakwaas100

Originally posted by tasha80

Originally posted by bakwaas100

Originally posted by pgshah

 


 

OMG''can you believe this!!! Within 6 months, she lost her both parents and she could not go (no visa issue, no job issue, no financial issue'or any logical issue). And above and all she is the eldest sibling with two younger unmarried sisters!!! She went to India 3 times in 2 consecutive years (6 months after both parents death)'..can you guess the reason'..wedding at her in laws place!!! And she is so much proud and excited about going to wedding and wearing new sarees!!

 



if she is happy,then what is problem??if she excited and and proud to attend wedding then nobody should have problem.she has every right to be happy.

its not about her being happy or sad it how she has adopted their behaviour, consider this if the same were to happen to her husband what would his reaction be " HE WOULD GO to his parents funeral.


how can we judge??is she adopted there behavior or she not liked her parents enough so she is not attended funeral.
you right who are we to judge, it can be a case where she did not get along with her parents only pgshah can tell us but in some cases that i have come across there are other woman who are banned to see their parents after marriage and the women would agree now how about that
 
yes I agree...who are we to judge. But just because I know them I did write about them...She got along with her parents nicely. But consider the case that where girls do not get along with thier parents...but how can you miss going to thier funeral. Only difference between her parents in in laws is the status. Parents were middle class - service people. Where as in laws are extermely rich family. And this was arranged marriage and not love marriage.
rajh IF-Sizzlerz
rajh
rajh

Joined: 04 May 2011
Posts: 12314

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 1:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by pgshah

Originally posted by tasha80

Originally posted by bakwaas100

Originally posted by tasha80

Originally posted by bakwaas100

Originally posted by pgshah

 


 

OMG''can you believe this!!! Within 6 months, she lost her both parents and she could not go (no visa issue, no job issue, no financial issue'or any logical issue). And above and all she is the eldest sibling with two younger unmarried sisters!!! She went to India 3 times in 2 consecutive years (6 months after both parents death)'..can you guess the reason'..wedding at her in laws place!!! And she is so much proud and excited about going to wedding and wearing new sarees!!

 



if she is happy,then what is problem??if she excited and and proud to attend wedding then nobody should have problem.she has every right to be happy.

its not about her being happy or sad it how she has adopted their behaviour, consider this if the same were to happen to her husband what would his reaction be " HE WOULD GO to his parents funeral.


how can we judge??is she adopted there behavior or she not liked her parents enough so she is not attended funeral.
you right who are we to judge, it can be a case where she did not get along with her parents only pgshah can tell us but in some cases that i have come across there are other woman who are banned to see their parents after marriage and the women would agree now how about that
 
yes I agree...who are we to judge. But just because I know them I did write about them...She got along with her parents nicely. But consider the case that where girls do not get along with thier parents...but how can you miss going to thier funeral. Only difference between her parents in in laws is the status. Parents were middle class - service people. Where as in laws are extermely rich family. And this was arranged marriage and not love marriage.


i am again telling same thing.don't make judgement.is she said that her husband stopped from attending funeral??she is sad because  not able to attend funeral?if she herself not bothered about it,then why you are making such statement.??


Edited by bakwaas100 - 24 May 2011 at 1:42pm
Naina007 Goldie
Naina007
Naina007

Joined: 10 March 2007
Posts: 1037

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
Sorry but the story about the NZ couple and Toasty are two different situations and the same logic cannot be applied as each has a different circumstance but over well I can understand the point in which you are making as a whole.

They say when a girl gets married, she leaves her own family for good and her husband's family is her new family. I don't agree with this and I know many people don't either but it's the bitter truth. That is why there is "kanya daan" daughter giving at the marriage as one of the rituals because this is to say that now our daughter is yours and she is your responsibility along with the love and care.

This is the reason why women try their hardest to make all relations at her in laws work because for her this is her life now and there's no turning back. Truth is; your family's home will always be home and open to you but your in law's are the home you are going to live at forever now so women tolerate way more than they want to/should.

I don't agree with any of this, and I find it so absurd. If I were Toasty I don't know how I would be able to do so much housework everyday and be okay with not having my job. But it depends person to person I suppose.

But, the new generation won't handle this for long, which is probably why the divorce rate is so high and the marriage rate so low.

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scinerd

scinerd Goldie
scinerd
scinerd

Joined: 03 August 2007
Posts: 1831

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Naina007

Sorry but the story about the NZ couple and Toasty are two different situations and the same logic cannot be applied as each has a different circumstance but over well I can understand the point in which you are making as a whole.

They say when a girl gets married, she leaves her own family for good and her husband's family is her new family. I don't agree with this and I know many people don't either but it's the bitter truth. That is why there is "kanya daan" daughter giving at the marriage as one of the rituals because this is to say that now our daughter is yours and she is your responsibility along with the love and care.

This is the reason why women try their hardest to make all relations at her in laws work because for her this is her life now and there's no turning back. Truth is; your family's home will always be home and open to you but your in law's are the home you are going to live at forever now so women tolerate way more than they want to/should.

I don't agree with any of this, and I find it so absurd. If I were Toasty I don't know how I would be able to do so much housework everyday and be okay with not having my job. But it depends person to person I suppose.

But, the new generation won't handle this for long, which is probably why the divorce rate is so high and the marriage rate so low.



I agree with you. People don't put up with a lot these days. They shouldnt have to. It then asks the question, how much should you adjust. It's not right to break marriages and get divorced so quickly. 50% is to high of a divorce rate. I believe divorce should truly be the last option. But people self repect do matter and the bahu should not be a door mat. The husband should adjust too. In fact like the topic starter said, even if its only 10-15%. I think that's what this serial asks. What is the balance. It challenges us every week to think that. It doesn't try to preach what is right or wrong what many serial try to do and what people want it to do.

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Naina007

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