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Essence of being a WOMAN - My thoughts by Anju

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 9:39am | IP Logged
Dear Friends,

Here are Anju's thoughts on today's episode


Dear Friends, I am so honored and touched by your love for me and my posts. I had no idea that my posts and my thoughts were read by so many of you and you liked them even though you might not have agreed to them 100%, and that is absolutely fine as that is what discussions mean. I am glad I have been able to have some impact on your life. I am sorry for not posting this directly as I need some time off from the forum but I am here with you all and you can PM me - I cannot leave CCBM and NiVren and all the other characters who are doing a fabulous job regardless of the story.
I saw the episode today after reading the update and the first thought that came to my mind was :-
 
"Essence of being a woman - So well described and said by Sushmita Sen"
 
"Just being a woman is God's gift. The origin of a child is a mother, a woman. She shows a man what sharing, caring, and loving is all about. That is the essence of a woman."
 
And what is our dear Nivedita doing - getting rid of this very essence. Is she really a woman? Does she understand what a woman is? She in her so-called guilt is killing (yes this is killing and not sacrifice) the very meaning of being a woman. There are so many millions of woman who want a baby and nurture it but they cannot because of medical reasons or other issues and what is Nivedita doing? What is her reasoning for not having baby - that she has promised her Di that she will take care of Dwita. WOW !!! Way to go Nivi. How do you know that that was what Divya wanted? Did she ever tell you - NO. She asked you to be away from her. And for past 2 days you have seen Dwita's father taking care of her and he has in polite way told that Dwita needs her daddy and she is very happy with him.
Today, I have to whole-heartedly appreciate Siddharth. He has clearly understood the problem and he being the person who wants to keep his family happy has taken the control of the situation by taking his daughter in his hands and rightfully so. He knows Nivi well and knows what the problem is - Nivi is getting possessive which is not good for her, not for Viren and not for the baby too. And moreover Dwita is not an orphan. She has her daddy with her. Who says that single parents cannot handle babies and cannot bring them up? Nivedita will always be mom-like and never will be Dwita's mom. The sooner she realizes this the better it is for her and her mental being. She because of her guilt is ruining Dwita's life too as such obsessive parents are not good and they will never be able to give the proper space to a child that he or se needs for the proper growth. Siddharth said the right thing to HL too - Mein Dwita ka daddy hun aur uska pura dhayan rakhunga...
Nivi is getting the jhatkas but her jhatka of Divya's death is very strong..So something unusual has to happen for her to come out. Looks like HL and her talks always had a tremendous effect on Nivi so did she then think that what will HL say when she comes to know that Nivi has refused to have a baby because of Dwita?? Does she not know HL who will again blame Nivi for separating Dwita from the rest of the family and in a way to come close to Siddharth??? Why is it that she thinks that whatever she decides or choses is the ultimate? How selfish she can be?
Whatever she has done in her life so far, she has made those decisions and choices without taking consent or discussing it with others who got affected by those decisions of hers. And now she is taking an extreme decision of not bringing another life on this earth, of devoiding herelf and her husband from the happiness of being parents, of devoiding Sood family from their blood and ansh and maybe their heir to carry on the Sood name. Is that justified? And that too in the name of giving full attention and mamta to Dwita. Will Siddharth ever be able to digest this and will he ever be able to get himself rid of the guilt that it is because of his daughter that Nivi took such a drastic step? Will Sood family ever forgive Nivi for doing this? Will she be able to stay in the Sood house if Viren leaves her now because of her pagalpan as he deserves to be happy too? Then with what haq will she live in Sood house to take care of Dwita?
Dadaji saw Viren going down and figured something is serious between the 2 and he spoke to him the next morning. I liked that he called him to get the handle on the situation but what I did not like was that he again asked Viren to bend and resolve the problem... Why does DS think that it could be Viren because of whom the problem occurred? I appreciate that Viren did not tell the whole story as it is between husband and wife and he thought that now things are resolved. But still DS could have said that Viren take care of the situation instead of saying "ki takiya aur bistar lekar apni biwi ko chorna theek nahin." This shows that he thinks that whatever happened is because of him which is not correct. I would have appreciated if DS would have said "Viren, mia-biwi ke beech mein baatein hoti rahti hain jinko milke suljhaya ja sakta hai naki alag hoke." something of that sort. Here then the onus would have been on both Viren and Nivi.
I loved the way the emotions were shown for both - Viren and Nivi. They both acted well. Nivi is realizing that whatever she is doing to Viren is not right, she is fighting herself and that is why she went to him. The guest room scene clearly shows that they both love each other and want each other and how can Viren not forgive Nivi when she is admitting her mistake. This is sign of a healthy relationship and we all saw what transpired next - their love, the stress buster.
And the morning, Nivi realizes that whatever happened in the night could result into something that she does not want. And she takes the extreme decision of getting herself operated so that there is no worries later on. She wants the relationship, she has desires, she loves Viren, she has feelings but she does not want to take the responsibility that these desires will lead to. This is what I concluded today. She does not believe herself. She doubts her love. Her love either for Siddharth, for Viren and now for Dwita is weak. She cannot love more than one person at a time as she thinks she will not be able to do the justice. She is single-minded and can only focus on one at a time. That is why she left Sid as she focussed on her love for Divya. Now she loves Viren but when Dwita came her love focussed only on Dwita. And now if her baby comes her love will focus only on her baby and she will forget Dwita... So she can only love one person at a time.
If she had faith in herself and her love, she would not have said NO to others.
That is why she ran to the doctor to get her operated - future ki tension hi khatam, na hoga baans na bajegi bansuri. Viren ka kya hai, usko to mein roke sorry bolke mana lungi. Thora time tension rahega phir sab theek ho jayega. How can she go to this level? How can she take such a step without discussing it with Viren? And look at her audacity - she goes and asks him to sign. WHat did she think that he will happily sign it?
 
I loved what Viren gave her back - "Sab kuch tumhare liye, Dwita ki khushi ke liye...mere liye kya? I was remembering the time when she said the same to him - hamesha tum, tumhari khushi, tumhari chahat...So time has totally changed. It is now about NIVI only.
 
CTs destroyed Nivi's character also today. They have played with each and every character and she was the oly one remaining and we got to see her destruction too. The ones who have not changed are - HL and CC. I am so utterly disappointed by Nivi. She does not know what a woman is? What is the difference between her and Divya now? Atleast Divya kept the option of having more babies later on by going for abortion and what did Nivi do - take the step which will never allow her to come back, no U-turn allowed once she gets operated. She could have asked for time from Viren, to wait for couple of years till Dwita is little bigger. Viren would have happily given that time to her. But she decided to close all the roads..
 
Food for your brain - I am going to pose a situation here where your grey matter will have to work.
 
Say hypothetically as we all are seeing rumors or false articles floating around that Viren will sacrifice and it might pave way for Sid-Nivi reuion - Now if she gets tubectomy done and Viren sacrifices her so that she is free from him to take care of Nivi and Sood family to keep the respect and dignity of their family get Sid-Nivi married, so that means Nivi is refusing Siddharth his haq of having 2nd baby too... He cannot have another baby if he marries Nivi and Dwita will never have a sibling... WOW... Then what is the point of this sacrifice??? Or is it that she will not get tubectomy but still Viren will leave her as he has right to live and be happy and Sid-Nivi get married and do you think Nivi will still refuse to give baby to Sid so that her mamta and care does not get divided between Dwita and 2nd baby????
 
I am so puzzled, confused that is why I posed the above question. I know that is not happening ever as that is not the way but wanted to get it out of my system.
 
Sorry for this extremely long post. Hope you like it and sorry if I have hurt anyone. These are my POV, you do not have to agree.
 
Love
Anju
 




Edited by Raj_Luv_NiViren - 24 May 2011 at 9:45am

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 9:40am | IP Logged
Anju... loved your thoughts... u have gone into a lot of depth...yes and do not agree with Nivi getting rid of this very essence... mother hood is a blessing to a woman ...


The guest room scene clearly shows that they both love each other and want each other and how can Viren not forgive Nivi when she is admitting her mistake. This is sign of a healthy relationship and we all saw what transpired next - their love, the stress buster.
this today showed how much they loved one another

When will Nivi understand that whatever she does and whatever extreme she goes she will never be Dwita's mother and always be like a mother'.

Anju .. i like you Food for the brain... good points...cause sacrifice as per the rumors will not gain anything ...


Edited by Raj_Luv_NiViren - 24 May 2011 at 10:10am

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 9:46am | IP Logged
Anju lovel analysis asusual. Clap Me too loved sid behaviour y'day and today he indirectly telling nivi that dwita don't need her all the time. Also nivi went to viren to manofy...loved they spent some quality time together..and loved their communication, even during stalker time also they have good communication which lacked in sidya relationship otherwise CC's plan of poisoning dd would have failed. 

Hope tomorrow viren gives a wake up call to nivi and show her the reality and her placein dwita life that she can be a mother like and not mother... 


Edited by Alphabet26 - 24 May 2011 at 10:03am

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:04am | IP Logged
I think I actually appreciate the CTs. It is easy to stop some one doing wrong but always remember to stop wrong doing yourself. About the CTs I think I will still wait patiently and see what they have to say. May be they want to teach us something. In case of suspected pregnany tubectomy is deferred and Tubectomy is not as parmanent as it was once thought to be. In this day and age there are other methods.
  It is easy to criticize Nivi, however if we look around us there have been women who did not marry even for the sake of family. I think CTs want us romantics to wake to reality. So she maybe she is pregnant and will be deferred. May be later on she will decide it was a bad decision and will go for a reversal. Or may be she will opt for in vitro or other alternatives.  
 But Anju do the CTs want us to view the pains of infertility or delayed fertility? That is one thing I would appreciate maybe but it is mind boggling for a majority of us. Do they want to show what infertility does so that people do not take this decision?


Edited by samin096 - 24 May 2011 at 10:25am

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:06am | IP Logged
@ anjubala.
 
Just gave a glance, nice post. Could not go through it fully, but would go through, once I sit down for a while.But some of these sentences that you have written, especially, the one from Susmita's Sen Miss Universe winning title, was quoted by me many months back, if you or anyone remembers! The topic was also about "women of substance"
 
Where Nivedita's character was heading, I had predicted long time back. Its only now that it seems to have lost, because now it is more directly shown. Nivedita, as I have always mentioned, is an exceptional character, but she does not know her limits. No woman can give up motherhood, what Nivedita is doing is beyond comparison (Accept my apologies, if I am wrong about the track. I did not have much clue about the story for now, except my knowledge from the updates for last 2-3 days).
 
But is it necessary? Nivedita is repeating the same with Viren now, as she did initially with Sid, before it was Divya and now her daughter. I think Viren is more victimised, as she is married and Viren's explanations yesterday to her was very practical and very logical. And also, noone at her home, wants Nivedita to sacrifice her motherhood, rather her this step will make all the household people including Sid and Vandana extremely saddened, that they took away Nivedita and Viren's parenthood for Divya's child. This is absolutely not necessary for Nivedita. This sacrifice does not matter at all. This is not only unnecessary, but also a sin which she is committing to Viren directly and other indirectly. Viren will be directly affected and others have to live with the blame that they are responsible for this action of Nivedita. Many of us have two kids, does that make our love less for any child? This concept is taken by the creatives from Rakhi Gulzar's movie "Shranddhanjali", but when in the movie, Rakhi Gulzar's character reached heights, Nivedita's character at this instance will not gather any sympathy.
 
I knew exactly whether Nivedita's character was heading many months back. Her one-sided decision, only on basis of Divya before and now for Divya's daughter, will not bring happiness to anyone, rather everyone till their death will lead a life of despair. To me, Nivedita's decision, looks more like her challenge to prove herself than a sacrifice. This sort of sacrifice is absolutely not needed. Noone will be happy, not even the baby when she grows up and comes to know.
 
Frankly speaking, I have never seen such a female protagonist in my years of showthemes.
 
My guess is everythign will become fine, the people at home will take the initiative to make her understand. Nivedita will accept that this is not the right way. But Nivedita from the beginning is a stubborn character, she does not care anyone, not even her father, when she decides something. Lets see what all happens.
 
 


Edited by Omshanti1111 - 24 May 2011 at 10:11am

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:09am | IP Logged
Anju Dear 1st of all I would like to thank U for posting ur point of View which I really appreciate a lot,  and Will wait for ur return to this Forum, U take ur time Dear as Now I know U will never leave us, 

I read ur post Dear and appreciate what ever U have written, the step Nivi is taking is not a solution to any problem, She should talk to Viren and tell him to give her time,  and then she would think of having her own child,  But the step she is taking is making matters worse,  I really hope the Soods really get to know this and take the matter in hand and explain Nivi what is right and wrong

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:11am | IP Logged
Anju lovely POv once i strted reading it i couldnt drift away!!!
agree to the extent!!!

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Posted: 24 May 2011 at 10:54am | IP Logged

I really like you post.  Beautiful.  Today's episode made me cry.  I think that Nivi insulted the motherhood.  She has to talk to Viren first before going to clinic.  She is not proving anything here.  She is insulting her love and Viren.

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