Chupanke Ki Saaza
One Word That Shouldn't Exist: Repentance
racked her brains, trying to find a solution to the situation at hand. It was 1
o'clock in the afternoon and she was pacing her cabin, thinking of a million
ways to say sorry and calm her husband's anger, except none of them fit.
Thodi der chup
nahi reh sakthi thi tum? She admonised herself. Kya zaroorat thi uss Annie ke baare baath karne ki? You knew they weren't going out to dinner!
sighed. Yelling at herself was definetly not going to do any good, but at the
same time she couldn't help but regret every wrong assumption she made about
What is wrong
She thought. You used to know Jai the best…
and now, you can't even tell the
difference between his love and hate?How?
answer was simple. She wasted so much energy in the past few days trying to
hate him, that she lost her connection with him. Or rather, she forced herself
to forget what it felt like to love him and especially what it felt like to be loved by him.
she loved him. The fact flowed easily through her mind without finding any
resistance. It was very obvious from her outburst and what was even more
obvious was that he loved her back. What was issue then?
sister. Her dead sister was the issue, and as Jai correctly pointed out, every
single second she spent with him, she was reminded about how she died.
Suddenly, Bani wished she never found that letter. She wished she never went
digging about her sister. Atleast not knowing how she died would have saved her
from this dilemma.
Di ki chod aur
Jai ki sooch,
her mind told her. He is pissed at you
and he has a good reason to be!
began pacing her cabin once again, her motive clear. She had to say sorry, had
to tell him that she never meant anything she said in his office. It was the
only way she would be able to sleep tonight. But how? And after pacing for an
endless hour, she decided to stick to the basics. Besides, simplicity is always
a win-win situation right?
making up her mind, she asked the clerk to get a red rose, with which she
attached a small card that read sorry and instructed him to place it on Jai's
there was no reply. The clerk did not return and after a few minutes of anxious
waiting, she decided to check herself. She carefully entered Jai's office, to
find it empty and after a quick sweep around, she found what she was looking
rose, which she sent was in the trash can beside the desk along with the card
on it. Her shoulders fell in disappointment.
You have to
her brain said. This is the Jai Walia we are talking about!
* * *
walked into the kitchen, dreading the task she was to complete. After her failure
that afternoon, she decided to really plan out how she was to calm her husband
down, which sure crossed all bounds today. Why else would he throw her rose
Madam?" the butler, Tony said surprised. Having worked with the Walia's for
almost ten years now, he knew that Bani rarely entered the kitchen. The reason
– she couldn't cook.
I want to make something," she replied, looking around the kitchen.
was caught of guard. "Why don't you tell me?" he said, dreading the health of
the kitchen he worked hard to maintain. "I will get the Cook to make it."
sighed. "If I wanted the Cook to make it, then why I bother coming here?" When
Tony didn't seem convinced, she said, "Im fine Tony. Just get me all the things
required to make Palak Paneer."
seemed to dawn to Tony. It was a well known fact that Palak Paneer was Jai's
favourite dish, and gudging by Bani's distressed face, he figured that the
couple was once again in a fight and his Choti Madam, was doing her best to say
sorry. He was inwardly reminded of his wife back home and how dearly he missed
without objection, he quietly brought all the ingredients and placed them on
the counter. "Aur kuch?"
shook her head, staring at the things in front of her, wishing that she never
said anything to Jai in the first place. Atleast, she wouldn't have to attempt
Yeh Jai bhi na, she thought. Flowers accept karne mein kya ho jata?
Atleast mujhe yeh creative jobs toh nahi karne padthe. God, please help me!
Bain's hesitance, Tony handed her a cook book that Krishna always kept in the
kitchen. "This might help," he said, pitying her.
smiled. "Thanks Tony!"
nodded and left her alone. Taking a deep breath, Bani began cooking. An hour
later however, she was beyond disappointed. While she started alright, thanks
to the cook book, the palak somehow ended up in a stew of sorts and the paneer
burnt. And when she gingerly took a bite, she almost spit it out in disgust.
Urgh, she grumbled to
herself. Why the hell didn't I pay
attention when Ma used to cook it?!
what was more, she also earned a few burns on her arm, making her already
messed up life more painful. She slid to the floor, burying her head in her
hands. She running out of both time and ideas.
a way to a man's heart wasn't through
his stomach, she thought to herself.
came Krishna's voice. "Whats wrong?"
looked up to see her mother-in-law leaning down in worry. "Nothing," she said.
"I wanted to cook Palak Paneer."
looked around the kitchen, trying hard not to laugh. The counter was in a
distorted state, with a weird smell hanging in the air. And knowing Bani's
cooking abilities, she also had a very good idea of what she would find in the
dish on the stove.
can laugh," Bani muttered.
smiled and patted her head. "Koi baath nahi. Main bana lethi hoon."
shook her head. It would totally defy the point of saying sorry, if she didn't
even take the trouble to cook. "Its okay," she said, standing up. "I will just
think of something else."
was confused. "Think of what?"
didn't answer and just left the kitchen making her way to her room, her head
once again buzzing with ideas.
* * *
Bani called, as she brushed her hair. It was 6 o'clock in the evening and Jai
was due home at minute. After two disasterous ideas, Bani finally seemed to
find one that will last.
butler hurried into the room. "Ji?"
me when Jai comes," she said, before dimissing him.
plan was simple: Take Jai for a walk along Juhu Beach, hoping that he wouldn't
be able to reject her apology in the middle of his favourite place. However,
there was only one issue - getting him
to go with her. She would be very surprised even if he looked at her tonight.
that did not stop her from wearing a pink salwar, an outfit that he brought for
her once upon a time, and decking up in front of the mirror. She was admiring
her look when Tony arrived, announcing Jai's arrival.
quickly adjusted her hair before running out of the room at top speed, wanting
to catch Jai while he was still at the door with Ranveer. She knew that he
wouldn't be able to weasel out of the walk infront of the others.
Unfortunately, the third time didn't seem to be the charm as well.
as she was nearing the bottom of the staircase, her leg got caught in the
carpet, and she went tumbling down the last couple of steps before landing
painfully on her right leg.
she screamed, clutching her ankle in pain.
entire Walia house seemed to have heard, for they came running to her aid,
including all the servants and a worried looking Rano, Lakshmi and Ranveer; But
the most important person was no where to be seen.
hua?" Lakshmi asked. "Tu teek toh hai?"
Kya teek? There
goes my plan to take a walk with my darling pati dev who is pissed at me!
Urghh! Yeh saab mere saath hi kyun hota hai?
to Lakshmi she just nodded, while her eyes watered slightly in pain.
make her sit on the sofa," Ranveer suggested. And together, he and Lakshmi
helped Bani up and slowly made her sit on the couch in the living room.
do you feel now?" Rano asked, worried.
Bani's attention was caught by another sight. Jai was seated across her, typing
away on his phone. There was no way he didn't hear her scream, but it
apparently didn't seem to matter. And what was more, he didn't even look up to make
sure she was okay. It was as if she did not exist for him.
Bani said, fully disappointed at Jai's behaviour. "Im fine. Don't worry Rano!"
Rano didn't seem convinced, she said, "Chill. You shouldn't stress in this
seemed to have caught Ranveer's attention, who began assuring Rano, calming her
down considerably. She then nestled on the couch, starting a conversation that
was completely oblivious to Bani.
kahan hai?" Lakshmi asked.
grinned. "Dinner par gayi hai. Kaka ke saath!"
Rano replied, very proud of her accomplishment. "Every year we go out to
celebrate Valentines day and the poor thing, she is always waiting for Kaka to
take her out. But woh hai ki hamesha kaam karthe rehthe hai. Issi liye, iss
saal main un dono ko zarbardasti bejdi!"
was impressed. If Jai was a work-a-holic, then there were no words to describe
his dad. In the past twenty years, there were probably five times he took time
out of his schedule to spend with his family. "How did he agree?"
was mission," Ranveer said, shaking his head. "I literally had to beg his
secretary for a month, to make sure there was nothing scheduled for today."
kissed Ranveer's cheek. "My sweetest hubby!"
rolled her eyes. "Okay, stop with the PDAs."
Rano merely stuck her tongue out, causing Ranveer to laugh.
Lakshmi said. "How come you two love birds are not off romancing tonight?"
began to shake his head in warning, but it was too late. Rano's smile vanished
and she began to sulk. "Im eight months and four days pregnant," she said in a
disappointed voice. "So, I'm not allowed to step out of the house."
raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Tum pregnant ho, bhimar nahi!"
tum apne bhai ko samjao!" Rano replied with a sniff. "Meri toh koi suntha hi nahi!"
then seemd to notice Ranveer's glaring and regretted bringing up the topic.
Despite being in her eighth month, Rano's mood swings continued making their
lives, especially Ranveer's, hell.
course we listen to you sweetheart," Ranveer said, gently rubbing Rano's back,
so that she won't burst into tears. "Its just… aisi haalth mein tumhe bahar
nahi chal na chahiye."
kaise pata?" she said, her voice on the verge of crying. "You are always locked
up in that office of yours and you don't even come to the doctor's appointments
with me. Mujhe hamesha akele jaana padtha hai Kaaki ke saath ya phir Lakshmi ke
doesn't go to check ups with you?" Lakshmi asked in shock, even though she knew
perfectly well that Ranveer made it a point to talk to the doctor every week
about Rano's health. "Kaise pati ho tum Ran? Iss bechari se pyar karthe ho bhi
was enough to tip Rano over, who despite laughing a second go, began to wail.
"Dekha?! Even Lakshmi knows something is wrong!"
was shooting daggers at Lakshmi, who was truly enjoying her cousin's distress.
baby," he said. "She is just pulling your leg. Of course I love you!"
you don't! Warna aaj tum mujhe zaroor bahar lejathe!"
bahar jaane se pyar thodi na badtha hai," he said. "Tum mere saath ho, that
itself makes my day! Technically, we should be celebrating Valentines everyday,
kyunki har roz mujhe tumhara saath milta hai."
smiled through her tears. "Saachi?"
sighed. "Tum dono kitne useless ho. Ek fight bhi achi tarah se nahi kar sakthe?!
What did you ever learn from Jai and
averted her attention to the conversation upon hearing her name, but Jai
continued to look at his phone.
Bani asked, continuing to watching her husband.
shook her head. "This is another goner. Ek baar Jai ko dekha, phir gayi kaam
coloured, while Rano laughed. "Look who is talking," she retorted. "Tarun ke
aage tumhari bolti toh band ho jaati hai!"
thank god for that! If not, she will never
shut up!" Ranveer said, earning a cusion in his face thanks to an irritated
sudden idea struck Bani; She took out her phone and typed the following before
hitting the send button:
You know, your
phone is not THAT interesting…
didn't know if Jai received the text message or not, for there was no change in
his expression. Whatever his reaction, he was keeping it well hidden beneath
his blank face. A few minutes later though, when he didn't appear to
acknowledge her message and reply, Bani texted:
You ignored me
the whole day, but how can you NOT read my messages now? :P
bingo! As soon as Jai read the message, he finally looked up. He threw his phone
on the coffee table in front him, and suddenly immersed himself in the
conversation going on.
Rano," he said, speaking after what felt like to Bani, ages. "Where did mom and
restaurant on beach side," Rano replied.
Lakshmi said. "That is the best restaurant in town! How did you get
reservations so fast?"
answered instead. "When your wife is eight months pregnant, you become used to
getting her whatever she wants."
then Tarun walked in. "What did preggo Rano want this time?"
up Tarun!" Rano retorted. "You make me sound like a cranky person."
grinned, and held up his hands in surrender. He had strict warnings not to
irritate the soon-to-be mother! "Okay okay… sorry!"
hai?" Lakshmi said. "Masa and Massi went out to dinner today!"
was confused. "So?"
do you mean 'so'?" she replied. "Even they
went out on Valentines. And you? Forget about taking me out, you didn't even
come home early today!"
why are you comparing yourself with
laughed. "Bahut simple hai Tarun – it's a childhood problem!"
Jai agreed. "Lakshmi ko bachpan se sirf dosron ki cheez chahiye thi. Whenever
me and Ran got a video game, she would make a big fuss! And when Ma used to ask
her why she wanted a video game, when she played with dolls, she would be like
'kyunki un dono ke paas hai!'."
finally," Ranveer added. "When she did
get the game, she would get bored in less than a minute, so me and Jai ended up
playing with it."
Tarun and Bani started laughing, while Lakshmi narrowed her eyes. "Ha ha ha…
its not funny!"
swear Lakshmi," Jai continued. "You were so competitive as a kid! It was so annoying!"
kaare," she replied, sarcastically. "Jaise bhai, waise hi behen na. Main joh
kuch bhi karthi thi, tum dono ke wajah se karthi thi."
right," Ranveer argued. "You were one cranky
girl. Me and Jai suffered so much with you! One second you laugh and the next
second you go running off to Kaaki crying!"
hello!" Lakshmi retorted. "I would only go crying because all you and Jai did
was annoy the hell out of me. Kabhi mere baal keech the, kabhi mere dolls chupa
tum kya karthi?" Jai asked. "Hamari
saari games thodi deh thi!"
rolled her eyes. "Waise bhi bahut boring games the. Saab ek jaise thi –
and Jai exchanged incredulous looks, which wasn't unnoticed by Lakshmi.
give me some credit," she told her brothers. "Agar main nahi hoti na, tum dono
ki love stories yahan tak nahi poonchthi! Aaj bhi tum dono uss stupid video
games khelthe hoonge, aur Rano aur Bani ko kissi aur se pyar ho jaatha!"
"Acha? Aab meri life tumhari meherbani se chal rahi hai?" Ranveer asked.
nahi toh kya?"she answered. "Tum kitna darthe the Rano ko propose karne ke
liye. If I didn't set you two
together, aaj bhi tum dono 'sirf friends' hote!"
me?" Jai said outraged. "I set these
two together. Not you!"
baath bhi mat karo Jai," Lakshmi said. "Tumhari saari affairs meri wajah se
chalthi thi. Agar Massi ko pata chaltha na, tumhari band baajathi!"
averted his eyes at that comment. It was true that he did have quite a few
affairs before he entered the business world, and he made sure they were kept
out of his mother's ears, for she approved only of the "one-woman" policy.
however, gave Bani another chance to get Jai to talk to her. So she texted him
mein itni saari girlfriends thi, toh aab kya hua? How come you are all alone on
though his phone was out of reach, she could tell that Jai read the message
from the corner of his eyes. Satisfied that he was still reading, she
Chalo koi baath
nahi, I will help you find a date! ;) I just happen to know of someone who
would love to go out with you… do you want some help finding her?
please," Jai said to Lakshmi. "Main apni life khud sambhal saktha hoon. Mujhe
madat ki koi zaroorat nahi hai!"
intent was clear and Bani was not far behind from understanding it. He was
indirectly talking to her! So she texted back, elated. Some form of
communication was better than none.
Acha, you don't
need help? Toh phir abhi tak tum uss boring phone pe kya kar rahe ho? Why don't
you ask her out?
reply. One minute… two minutes… five minutes. Jai seemed to have gone back to
ignoring her, for he didn't answer her, directly or indirectly. But Bani was
not the one to sit quiet either, now that she managed to break through his cold
Give up Mr.
Walia? Koi baath nahi, main hoon na! Clue number one: She is five foot six -
just the perfect height for you…
watched his face, again waiting for some reaction. While his expression didn't
change, his eyes definetly darted across
the screen of his phone, no doubt reading her message.
aaj ka kya plan hai?" Tarun said. "Im assuming these girls will not let us go
that easily on valentines!"
playfully hit him on the shoulder. "Chalo, iss saal maaf kiya."
one condition though," Rano said.
course," Tarun replied. "Conditions ke bina toh aap logon ka din nahi chaltha.
wanting to loose his attention, Bani send her next clue.
Clue number two:
Someone once said she looks amazing in pink!
aur Lakshmi ko baby room decorate karne mein, tum teeno madat karenge!" Rano
replied, nodding at all three men.
itni si baat?" Tarun asked. "Chalo teek hai! Waise kya decide kiya hai? Ladka
bhi ho," Jai said, speaking up. "Room ka colour blue honi chahiye."
be stupid," Ranveer answered. "Its going to be girl, so the colour is going to
saab pe suit nahi kartha Ran," Jai replied, happy to have made his point. "Issi
liye, lets stick to blue."
mouth fell open at that comment. She didn't need to think twice to figure out
that the remark was meant for her and not for the coming member of the Walias.
Traitor, she thought. One fight and he is already taking back his
shock seemed obvious, for she saw the corners of his mouth pulling up in the
slightest sense ever. A huge smile appeared on Bani's face, as her resentment
at his comment vanished. Slowly, but surely his anger seemed to be dissipating,
so she texted:
Is that a hint
of a smile I see?
no reply. But Bani didn't mind. The smile stayed on his face, indirectly
inviting her to continue her game.
three: She is really, really, really, REALLY sorry…
time she seemed to hit the nerve, for his face once again went into a blank
mask, causing her to groan under her breath.
Since when is he
this moody? She thought to herself. Her eyes
than travelled to others in the room. Rano was curled up beside Ranveer, who
had one arm protectively around her while the other softy patted her bulging
tummy. Lakshmi, too was somewhat nestled beside Tarun, who was busy recounting
a funny story from his day. And then there was her, sitting on the opposite end
of the room from her husband, her leg sprained and unmoveable.
way!" Jai said, suddenly. Tarun seemed to have finished his story and everyone
seemed to be laughing.
know," Tarun answered. "It was so
narrowed her eyes, completely annoyed with Jai's behaviour. There was a limit
and this was it. Determined, she continued texting him.
four: She is sitting right infront of you.
knew he read the message, because he suddenly got up and began to make his way
up to his room.
just stop!" she called out loud, causing the other four to stop talking and
stare at her startled.
did stop in his tracks.
she continued, the desperation visible in her voice. "Please, just listen to
he continued to face away from her, she said "Please? Just once?"
being able to ignore her any longer, he turned around, so that he was facing
her and also the rest of his family, who were anxiously watching the duo. They
were all well experienced in Jai and Bani's fights – they ended brutally, with
each refusing to even see other's face. Very rarely, their fights ended
peacefully without atleast a day inbetween.
know I screwed up," she said. "And I screwed up bad. I know I don't deserve to
be forgiven, because truthfully, if I was in your place, I would hate me for
forever too. I would never want to live with someone who doesn't even begin to understand me… you know what I
didn't answer, and continued to stare at her, his eyes cold.
she did something that was surprising for herself too. She went on her knees,
rather painfully, for her ankle was still sore from the fall and said,
the thing is, you are not me. You
have always been the smarter one, the better one. You think things through, you
actually give a damn to this relationship. And I have always been the selfish
one. Always thinking about my pain, my anger… I know there is no excuse for
that, but I just want to say that I am sorry. Im sorry for hurting you, not
because I can't bear you igorning me, which by the way is two hundred percent
true, but because - believe it or not – of my own selfish reasons. By hurting
you, I just end up hurting myself, except it's a thousand, no a million times more painful. You are
strong enough to bear that, but I'm not. So, please, can you forgive me this
one time? I promise there will never
be a second!"
followed Bani's speech. Rano's eyes filled with tears, while Tarun and Ranveer
watched Jai carefully.
however, said, "Wow. With that Bani, you officially
become Rano and Ranveer part two."
smiled at that comment, but looked at Jai with pleading eyes and to her utter
shock, his face split into a wide smile as he walked up to her and held out his
spread through her quickly as she gratefully took his hand and stood up. "Jai…
I am," but she didn't know what to say.
okay," he said, pulling her into a hug. "Its alright."
other two couples cheered.
am going to forever remember this Valentines," Rano said, as Jai and Bani took
a seat. This time, thankfully, they were right beside each other. "The one time
Jai and Bani did not fight."
laughed. She was going to remember this day too! As the other four picked up
the conversation again, she looked at Jai and said, "So, you forgive me right?"
forgave you an hour after you left my office," he said.
"What?" she asked. "You weren't even mad
at me this whole time?"
shook his head in response.
why were you pretending to ignore
turned to look at her and said with a smile, "because I wanted to see what you
would do to say sorry!"
narrowed her eyes in mock anger – she faced enough of his wrath, even though it
was not real, to not be fully mad at him for a long time now. "I can't believe
was fun," he said, defending himself. "I loved the texting idea!"
there was one thing you forgot," he said.
number five – she looks absolutely stunning
Waiting for your comments!
Edited by -Archi- - 03 June 2012 at 9:39pm