Posted: 31 May 2011 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by punjabi#1
Originally posted by .Doe.
Originally posted by punjabi#1
Yeah, he wants to do lots of things for her but they aren't having a physical relationship. how can people call them bad for that? Is it really an affair, if they aren't messing around?
Not calling 'them' bad. Not calling anybody bad. But when you're not ready to commit yourself to someone (in this case, getting married), why take advantage of the person even if he is letting you to take advantage of him?
If the girl lets him go, he might find another girl, if not sooner, then later. Sometime or the other. That way, his efforts wouldn't go in vain either.
She wants to let him go after reading everyone'e responses but she is struggling to do so. Even if she takes one step back, he just takes one forward. If she tries to talk to him, he gets annoyed. He says he is not forcing her to do anything and always listens to her but she can't force him to stop loving her or to move on.
She can't leave his life completely till she gets married but even then she is doomed. Every time her hubby does something, she will just compare the two, especially if the hubby is not as nice as this guy.
Idk, this guy already declared he is not marrying and even if his family forces him, he will tell the girl immediately that he loves someone else.
This has become just wait and watch thing. I wish this would just end, so she would let me live in peace. Why are people so indescieve?
Oh God! IThis is a very complicated situation. In this case it seems like this boy is deeply in love with her. She is not too sure what she wants to do and she is in a kind of yes/ no situation. She has to make up her mind and she has to be firm and commited. At the same time she is not willing to go against her parents. For her parents the boy is not educated and rich enough thus its not a suitable match. Therefore boys merits are also in question.
I hope its not a high caste low caste issue. I know in our villages in punjab there can be as many as eight casts or sub-castes. Usually they don't accept or approve marriages between sub-castes. But things are changing in recent years. I hope this boy and girl don't have the same last name either because they will not approve this marriage if they have same last name. Because of this problem they will come up with numerous other excuses.
The major problem is that this girl is not willing to go against her parents. I think this couple should get help from family friends who can mediate and talk to her parents.
If she has no guts to convince her parents, she should stop using boys resources immediately and try to get out of this relationship ASAP. This boy is not going to leave her until she stops dating him. On the other hand if she is in love with him then she shouldn't care about her parents and run away with him. I don't know if they are in India or abroad. Its easy to settle down outside India.
Bottom line, I don't think this girl can enjoy happy married life with somebody else cos this guy is going to chase her all the time till her marriage breaks. May God help them.