Neil's expressive best: Kesar confronts Gulaal

_Avatarana_ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 December 2009
Posts: 2759

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 2:09pm | IP Logged

Kesar: 23/5/11

Kesar-Gulaal morning scene

Kesar was totally oblivious to the Sudha-Talli talk. His eyes were seeking Gulaal, his eyes fixed at the doorway with restlessness and impatience when he can't get a glimpse of her. It was as though he was suddenly transported back to this real world when Sudha spoke to him. He did utilize the chance to pass a snide remark about being able to get her back only if she leaves home and also about her revising as if she was preparing for a "Morcha".

Gulaal came and ignored him. There was this unusual and awkward unease from her end. Kesar seems to have forgotten that he yelled at her previous day. He loves her deeply; he wants to hate her too. Be it love or hate, Kesar wants that love and hate directed at Gulaal only. Now what do we call this feeling as. He raises the accelerator to get her attention and that anger is reflected through his image in the mirror as he grits his teeth. Gulaal notices that and still ignores him. He just couldn't take that. He left burdened with Talli behind him on the bike. 

Kesar and Talli

In spite of Talli's constant chatter, Kesar realizes that a guy is following him. He is still being nice to her. When his request to reach home to have snacks goes into deaf ears, he obliges. One must see his reaction seeing Talli's reaction to Bajiya. That is a treat to watch. When Talli insists, Kesar repeats like a trained parrot…Talli, how was your exams?. That statement was totally bereft of any emotion or feelings. He clearly conveyed his disinterest in her or her talks. She infuriates him with her comment "Tera man kisi aur ke sath jud gaya kya?"  As expected, he walks off. She drives him further crazy with her thank you. Kesar made me laugh when he asked her if she was thanking him for the Bajiya. She is one capable girl. Mention of the chunar, Kesar gets more annoyed and gave her an expression as if "That's news to me, when did I get you one?, but realises soon enough and even mentions to her that it's a misunderstanding. Talli is not the one to give up. Asking him to get something similar which she thinks is hers when actually it was always meant to be Gulaal's was a sad state of affairs, be it the Chunar or her relationship with him. Sad for Talli. 

Drunken Kesar

Finally Kesar feels he needs the support of liquor to get the courage to meet up with Gulaal. Kesar did come home drunk once before too. But in this scene, he appeared a regular as he drunk from the bottle directly. Sorry to make it sound scientific or technical, but the concentrated alcohol undiluted would have caused some burning sensation and an inexperienced Kesar would have reacted to that burning sensation. 

I loved Gulaal's comment to Talli that for a while she thought she knew Kesar well but she doesn't anymore.


Was he just waiting at her door to be found by her that he can confront her? Eyes showing intoxication, face showing the exhaustion, Kesar was absolutely pitiable but he was steady by words.  Without a slurring of his speech, he asked her the question that was bothering him. There was a little innocence in that question as he asked her why she ignored him in the morning. That behavior of hers is enough for him to ruin his day. She ignored him and it hurt him. He is not thinking that probably she behaved that way because he yelled at her previous day.

Kesar admitted with guilt, shame and pain when he nodded in approval that he was indeed drunk. Gulaal posed the wrong questions to him at the wrong time and realized it pretty well soon. But did she really think he would give her an answer that she was expecting or feared she would hear from him. She was scared totally obviously she did realize that there was a guy standing in front of her, who has given hints of his growing attraction to her and that too he has turned up in an intoxicated state and she felt it would be ideal to send him away to his room.

I did not feel that he was violent with her at all. He grabbed her since he did not want to lose that chance of talking to her, the courage he had mustered with difficulty by drowning himself in a bottle of alcohol. And when she was closing the doors to him, he had to do it.  He admitted that she was his problem. The second time repeat of the sentence with a "Haan" was laying emphasis to that truth that she is the root cause for all the pain and agony he is going through. That brught tears to her eyes as well.

The panting of breath showed Kesar's nervousness, but it was as though he couldn't suffer any longer and he wanted to get over with the tension once and for ever.


Though Gulaal was scared, she has not pulled away from him or pushed him away from her. Probably she did find some truthfulness in his gaze that has made her not to react in the way she would have otherwise done. Probably he is feeling guilty or ashamed in bringing himself to pose those questions at her that Kesar has closed his eyes while telling her about it for the first time (that he has some queries in his mind).  He finally tells her his eyes have always asked her those questions for which only she had an answer. Her life used to be centered on him before and it's not the same anymore. Her priorities have changed and she is not the same Gulaal who used to run around and pacify him, give in to the child's tantrums and spend all her time with him especially after Vasant's untimely demise. There is huge gap in their relationship now that needs to be bridged. Kesar and Gulaal are both so tearful. She seems to feel sorry when he said that to her.

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Incense IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 08 October 2010
Posts: 14997

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
waiting for u dear ! beautiful post truly amazingClapClapClapClapClap

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_Avatarana_ IF-Dazzler

Joined: 22 December 2009
Posts: 2759

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by arti07

waiting for u dear ! beautiful post truly amazingClapClapClapClapClap
Thanks Arti.

Edited by MeySimi - 23 May 2011 at 2:18pm

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Lennie IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 30 November 2004
Posts: 37903

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 2:51pm | IP Logged
Well said
I do agree that he wasnt violent, i dont see it to that extreme at all, he needed for her to notice him, see him, listen to him, stop pushing him away and close him off shall i say, and that door would certainly have done that, close him away
I looked back on the episode again, obviously the last scene, and the precap - i do feel that the only thing Kesar might just ask is what he is asking now - why isnt she part of his life anymore, why is there this certain gap between them, like he says before her world was all around him, and its not like that anymore, and so on
The pain that Kesar is getting across, effects Gulaal and so on, and also the flashback Gulaal is having that Kesar most porbbaly sees her as more in terms of how he is with her and so on, that she is special to him, makes her even more aware and conscious of him, and also might also know what exactly Kesar might be trying to say which i dont think Kesar has fully understood
She is aware that there seems that Kesar is starting to see her as more, and that she is special to him (as her mum's words and thr things he has done flashes before her) and how Kesar towards her and so on, and maybe her being more aware of him reflected in that scene and also asked herself what does he want and esp as he grabbed hold of her and pulled her close, well he did to himself go close to her
I guess much focused now will be on the bond that they have, and where Kesar feels its lost somewhere and so on, unless Kesar says anymore tomorrow and so on, and this is another thing that cements in Gulaal's brain of Kesar sees her as and what she is to him and so on

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reemg Senior Member

Joined: 30 April 2011
Posts: 285

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
You have written all the expressions amazingly.  For a minute then i think Gulaal is caught up inthe moment and might just hug him. I think she will slowly start to realise her feelings when he  ACTUALLY does go away from her.

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SwarnaS Groupbie

Joined: 14 May 2011
Posts: 60

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 1:43am | IP Logged
Thanks for a lovely update

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Kinma IF-Rockerz

Joined: 15 March 2011
Posts: 6729

Posted: 24 May 2011 at 3:26am | IP Logged
thankzzz...4 da update...

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