Posted: 19 June 2011 at 5:59am | IP Logged
so i agreed to a really really stoopid thing.
i had promised my terrible twin cousins that i'd give them anything they wanted if they got the grades i wanted them to on their math course.
who knew that they'd get back home and actually get those grades?? *no really! you should have heard them whine about hating the course. or the grief they gave me for all the time that i made them do work for the course!*
and who knew that they were suffereing as much from the miss-you-prem-heer-are-one disease as me?
so what they asked for was for one day of my time, as much pizza and ice-cream as they could eat, and to watch our show once again.
not the whole thing. oh no. just the best part. starting from when prem found out that the young lady who served as housekeeping staff in his hotel actually lived in his outhouse (oh, rasta-roko the first!! has there ever been such a beautiful sequence done in 10 minutes of a show?? like ever??!).
and ending at the moment when prem takes his young lady by her hand, and find a house where they and her young sister can live a life out of the sight of his tradition-blinded father who didn't care for anything above his honour in upholding the promise he had made to a friend who had helped him rise to where he was.
i thought it was sneaky and mean of them to have included the episode that had aired first -- omg! -- three years ago??! and that i have oh-so-carefully taken care to never watch again. but really, it was my fault.
i thought that after all this time, after so long without them being the second highest priority in my mind, that perhaps it wouldn't matter so much.
that i could stop watching anytime i wanted to.
that i could walk away.
that i would have a brain at the end of it.
all i understood last night was that they still had the power to capture me, my senses, my imagination. that the show worked -- against all odds! of being a balaji show, of trying a long-ever-lasting love story in a time when everyone was cynical about love never lasting, of being a show where 15 out of 30 minutes was blown with repeated shots of actors faces and that too with violent zoom and light effects, and sometimes in different colours
. the darned show worked.
what is more inexplicable, it still works.
i've grown up, face different responsibilities, a different life, have a different outlook from when i first saw this show. and for me, it still worked. raasta-roko (ai hai!), prem drinking his fill of her face as she lay unconscious, heer not looking prem in the eyes and stlil loudly claiming she was running a prostitute business, prem exploding in helpless confused anger at her, prem asking her ''kyun kiya tumne aisa'' for the very first time, the phhandooh that captured my heart, prem cheating an old man to get heer to dance with him, heer chasing after prem demanding to know what right he has to care whether she marries the right guy or not, prem trying and failing to keep his feelings for her to himself, and that brilliant moment after he confesses when all they can do is hold each other's faces and wipe each other's tears, prem's broken voice ''mein bhagwan nehi hoon, heer''
, their near marriage to other people, prem's blind anger against his father if heer got married to manmeet, prem's flat confession to ashlesha in public that he would keep her well, but would never love her, prem's threatening to break arms, bust eyes, burn the world if a hair on heer's head was touched, meher's admiration of the windows in their new house, and the fire in prem's eyes as he stepped in out of the rain and saw heer cleaning their house making it ready for them to live in.
my heart still sped up beyond sensible levels. my face still felt hot and bothered. my brain still went blank at the beauty of their stark hunger for each other.
prem-heer still captivate me.
and this morning, when i surfaced from this long-long-long viewing session, still feeling the smoked edges of my brain, i realised a new thought:
i really really miss seeing these two on screen.
i miss them. i wanna see them again.