Part 3 : Searching
The sight of the Pheonix mall brought back the memories of our first meet,the first talk,the first laugh.We'd bonded so easily,instantly became friends.I never knew when it had turned to love,and then that horrible incident that shook us and kept us apart like forever.It hurt,damn it.Armaan and I came here so often,to spend free time together.I remember how we'd always fight on who would pay...then we both ended up paying 50-50,our little failed courtesies to each other and then at the end,"Nah,this isn't working.You gimme that.I'll have the Krushers!",he would say and flash his adorable dimples.
"Riddhima,Yeh kaisa hai?",my mom's voice brought me out of reverie,and she was showing me a kurti,obviously for me.We were in Big Bazaar.With great difficulty I smiled.
"Accha hai."
"You want to take this?",she asked excitedly.
"Nai..ma,Mera Mood nai hai,mai jaake kuch aur dekhti hu.",I said and went to the chocolates section.
It was like I was searching,not only for him..But for a part of myself.I myself feel so Lost without him,as if I'm waiting,anticipating his return as he comes back to me and says,'I found you'.He's taken my heart with him,my feelings,my dreams..everything belongs to him.I am His.Only if,only if I knew where he was?Only if I'd get one simple chance..to expalin myself? I knew that whatever had happened between us,the reason why he'd gone..away,far away,was me.I was at fault.But I wanted just a second chance.
"Here?You brought me here,you duffer?"
"Kya,mall hi toh hai !! BBG,What had you expected,romantic date?"
"Sheeesshh,Date,And that also with you! Dream on,DG!But what the heck are we doing here after exams?",I frowned.
"Chalo toh sahi,we're going to McDonalds!",he said excitedly,smiling.I looked at him,perplexed.
"McDonals,at 8p.m.?Pagal ho kya?It closes down!"
"Really?I don't think so!"
"It does!I KNOW so!"
"It does not!
"It does!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"YESSS DG"
"NOOO BBG"
"Armaan!"
"Riddhima!"
I looked away,understanding that he was teasing me,because his stupid grin wasn't going off his face and because he was trying very hard to control his muffled laughter.As soon as I looked away,he started coughing to suppress his laughter.I glared at him.
"You know...Gusse mein you look very cute."
"Armaan..",I said,trying my tone to be deadly.
"Okay,Sorry..But I bet McDonalds wil be open NOW."
"It won't!"
"Lets see who wins!",he said,smirking.
"You're on baby!",I replied.
So we walked to McDonalds.It was darkened.I smirked at Armaan,a triumphant smirk it was.He shrugged and went ahead,"See..?",he held out the door.The door was open.How the hell?My jaw dropped and he grinned.
"Par,how?How can they darken the place and keep it open?"
"Powercut?",Armaan suggested very innocently.
"Yeah,RIGHT.Pure Mall mein light hai sirf yahan nahi..What a AWESOME logic!",I said,sarcastically.
"Lets see,na!",he said,going in and pulling me with him.
At once,the lights went up,and there was a loud scream,"SURPRISEEE!",I watched,my eyes widened,as my friends came and stood infront of me,holding presents and cake.I blinked at the sight and looked at Armaan in awe. He smiled and whispered,"Happy Birthday Riddhima.."
My friends hugged me and we had my best birthday ever,getting inumerous gifts and a evening full of fun,but all the while,I silently watched him.He smiled at intervals.I walked over when we were having our dinner.
"Thank You..",I whispered to him.
He turned,"Hey..What for?This is your Birthday!You deserve this.."
"Armaan,I know how hard it would've been.."
"Naah,nothing is hard for Armaan Mallik.I just booked the whole of McDonalds for 4hours,no big deal,BBG.."
"I..Don't know what to say.."
"You don't have to say anything..Come on,BBG..We're friends,right?Thats what friends are for..and..My gift is left!",he winked.
"What gift,Armaan..This is enough!I don't want anything else..",I frowned.
"But..I want to give you,right..here u go.."
He extracted a small packet out of his pocket.I opened it slowly.It revealed a shimmering white pearl bracelet,with a 'R' engraved in the middle.It was beautiful..Maybe one of the most beautiful gifts I ever got.
"Armaan..",I said,at a loss of words,"This is beautiful.."
He smiled,"This was my Mom's.Her name was Raji,you know..Thats the 'R'..I don't know who gave it to her,why..nothing.My maasi at the orphanage gave me this.Its her last indication for me."
"Armaan..",my eyes welled up now,my voice choked with emtion,"Why would you give..Such a precious thing away..?"
He smiled easily and gazed into my eyes,"Maybe because..the person I'm giving it to,is equally precious to me.."
I blinked back my tears as I switched to present with voices around me.I was shocked as I found that round the corner,it was Nikki and Rahul and Muskaan talking.
"Guys..I got a mail from Armaan today..",Nikki said.
Rahul and Muskaan both gasped,"Really?What did he say?",Rahul said.
"That wherever he is..He's fine..And that..he doesn't want to see Riddhima..",her voice saddened.
I felt a pang of guilt and pain surround me,wishing it could kill me the moment I was born.My sole reason for living hated me,I wanted to cry.But it wasn't the right place,so I fought back my tears,listening.
"I think..we should tell him..Talk to him,you know..try to make him understand that she really loves him.."
"You think I didn't try,Muski?",Nikki answered,"But it doesn't work.He..Just Cringes Away when he hears her name.Its like poison to him,and his expression harden,asif he himself is trying to defend his feelings!I feel so sorry yaar.."
I ran away from there,to Mom's side,my head spinning with the words.'Its like poison to him' 'Just Cringes away when he hears her name' He hates me so much..I Wiped out the warm tear down my cheek hurriedly.I couldn't let anyone see me like this.
"Beta kahan gayi thi?",Maasi asked.
"Woh..Woh..",I fumbled,"Chocolates.."
"See?",my Mom and Maasi laughed,"She's still our little Riddhima.."
I smiled.I felt suffocated suddenly,I wanted to run away,hide,cry,or mostly,find myself.I was searching for him..and the lost part of my heart that he carried with him.
"Ma..I'll,go get a coke..",I said as a excuse.
My mother nodded and I went out to the cafe.I ordered a diet coke and put a hand on my head,rubbing it,trying my best to ease off my pain.I needed a Aspirin,I was getting stressed down.Only if..Armaan..
"Mam,your coke.",the guy at the counter said,and I collected the coke and paid..walking back to my Mom,my head still heavy.I bumped into a guy and the coke spilled on me,I got irritated at once.I looked up and was about to blast off at the guy,but what I saw left me speechless and sent a shiver down my spine.
It was a pair of blue eyes.
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