A biiiggg thank you to Sai for creating this siggie for me 🤗 This chapter's dedicated to you, sis 😊
Chapter 2 - Guilt
Every time Maan closed his eyes, he could see it playing out so clearly in front of him, like a movie.
The fire which scorched in front of him, the thick black smoke that billowed around and the distant figure that was entrapped in the midst of it all.
His own arm was outstretched out towards the figure, trying to waver through the smoke.
But as the fire grew stronger & stronger, the figure started to disappear.
It became difficult to breathe.
He could feel the voice of another man, pulling his own arm towards the exit.
"We'll rescue him," they had said.
And Maan had believed them. He began to back out of the room, letting the man pull him out.
His eyes couldn't see the figure anymore, but his heart ached to save him. His instinct, at the time, was telling him that he'd be saved.
"They'll save you, I promise!" he had shouted, his eyes burning with tears.
And then he had been pulled out.
That was the last time he ever saw him. The next time he did, they were in the hospital. And he had been pronounced dead.
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So he hardly ever sleeps. He spends his days engrossed in his office work, & his nights working out. He does anything he can to avoid closing his eyes & reliving the painful memories which have haunted him like a nightmare for the past 8 years.
Maan was punching the boxing bag, taking all his fury & anger out on it. His muscular body was drenched in sweat, but his dark eyes held a determination.
The determination to make it through the night, to last until the morning, then he could go to work again.
Savitri Devi appeared into the spare room of the Khurana Mansion to find her eldest grandson in here, yet again. She wrapped the thick shawl around her tightly as she walked up to him.
Maan was aware that his Dadima had appeared, but chose to ignore her & continued his violent punches.
"Maan," she said softly. He continued.
"Please listen to me," she pleaded. No response.
"Maan!" she said with a hint of desperation in his voice, gripping his left hand to prevent him from continuing.
He turned to look at her slowly, and the tears emerged in her eyes.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" she asked. He looked straight past her, staring off into the distance.
"You're torturing yourself. You've shut yourself away from the rest of the world, from me, from Vicky. You're here physically, but mentally, you're not even alive anymore. You hardly talk, you never smile, I can't even remember the last time I saw you laugh-"
"15th Feburary, 2003," he suddenly said in a matter-of-fact tone. "That was the last time I laughed. We had walked home together, and I'd promised him I'd help with his maths homework if he let me play the new game you had bought him. Later that night, he'd bribed me into doing his homework but he'd refused to let me play the game. I'd chased him around the house for it. You know what happened the following day."
A tear slipped down Savitri Devi's cheek.
"Maan, none of it was your fault."
"It was. I could have saved him."
"If you would have gone any further into the room, you'd both be dead!" Her voice wavered.
"I wish I was," he whispered.
"He couldn't have been saved. The smoke had filled his lungs too much for him to even have a chance of living a normal life. He would have... his health would have eventually deteriorated anyway."
Maan looked at his Dadima for a count of 5 seconds, then peeled off his black vest.
"Do you see this?" he said, turning to his left, revealing a huge burn mark which ran down the left hand side of his body. He lifted up his trouser to reveal a second burn mark on his left leg.
Savitri Devi winced, another tear rolling down her cheek.
"This is my constant memory of that night. The scars remind me it was real. I could have saved him. I could have helped him. I was told he'd be saved, so I left him. I left my younger brother to die. Like the coward I am, I escaped with a few scars while he lost his life. Because of me. He was 12 years old, Dadima. He had his whole life ahead of him. He died, and the only person responsible for it is me."
"No, no one's responsible," she pleaded. "Dev was only meant to be with us for so long. Please, Maan. You're not guilty, I don't see as you as responsible for his death, and neither does Vicky. We love you & we're so worried about you."
Maan's expression hardened again. "Love? I don't deserve love. I don't deserve to feel any emotion, except for pain."
He continued punching the boxing bag again, this time with more anger & strength.
Savitri Devi wiped the tears from her eyes as she retreated & left the room.
Going off topic here - I'm sure you've all heard the rumours about Geet ending because Star One plan to bring new shows in. Personally, I'm not believing it until we get concrete confirmation from the channel, but I was requested by kadydeep to attach this petition to stop the show ending, so here it is:
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