Posted: 12 August 2011 at 9:36am | IP Logged
Awesome title. Very powerful, very effective. Silence in itself something we can not hear but rather it is something felt within us. It can be calming but at times, it is as you state, deafening, in that we can not hear, see, taste anything else beyond it.
Time has taken away the silent whimpers
Nagging presence of constant whispersDeafening silence growling since foreverFear and laughter existing together
I love how you contrast the self and the other here. We have the inward silent whimpers against others whispers. However upon closer examination do they do both stem from her own conscious. It is a note on how in actual fact it is us which choose what we hear or not. Finely done.
I loved, JUST LOVED, the use of growling giving that ominous silence an even more menacing countenance. The forever that foreboding feel, as if it was something she has always known. Truly excellent writing. The second line is beautifully composed. The ying and yang co existing, the up and down of life forming a wave that we allow to carry us upon the promise that at the end we will find ourselves ashore. Excellently done.
Of shrieking sighs and suppressed criesSilence is all in those mourning eyes
Again, you showcase your writing skills. Shrieking sighs, suppressed cries are wonderfully chosen and brought together in assonance, consonance and rhyme. However in reason too, for as we suppress our cries they find a way to scream aloud from within our sighs. Very moving. I loved it.
Silence is all, which floats to and froMystifying reality of merciless truths
I loved how you continue to develop silence into a character here, a presence of its own, specific and individual and very personal. The to and fro adding movement which brings forth fear within us too, for it is not fused to one moment or situation BUT is free to permeate all our days, to suffuse all our sentiments. I am not sure if I fully grasp the second line, but something about trusting the unforeseeable aspect of life, in that we have faith that our pain is never in vain.
Expression out loud is a forgotten historyFake smiles clutching unsolved mystery
I loved expression out loud, very inspired wording. I think you may have coined a phrase for the modern age of nonchalance. Again the composition of the second line is wondrous and skillfully done.
Thousand words stuck in throat, helplessDenying to betray their beastly mistress
I love how you conjure up that perfect image of restraint which becomes lost somewhere and most of the time between its root in our heart and its stem in our throat which as you say is denied to blossom out our mouths. Helpless and frustrated! Finely done.
Silence is artful,If conceived it rhymesIf brushed off its nothing,If penetrated can killSilence is pureSilence is bliss
I love how you then leave the specific and move towards the general, the generic, here accentuated by the change in pace, verses structure.
Speech of incoherentSanity of the foolBravery of the cowardSilence is nothing
Silence is all being heardSilence is all being feltWish there was a place where
Silence is all
In the previous verse you detailed its characteristics, here you detail its symptons, like a disease that infects and affects all our organs, heart, mind. I loved the contrast of sanity of the fool & bravery of the coward. The manner it moulds itself to diverse beings.
Silence could be attained, understood and said...
So we come back to your title. Silence is something which we feel, which we choose to hear or ignore but either way it is very much real and it can calm but it can be a curse too.
Truly you are a fine writer, accomplished in composition, structure and substance. You create a theme, a persona and bring it to life in all its horrifying glory. Exceptionally and remarkably done. Please add me to you pm list. With much love, Sabah