Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems


Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

The Cradle (Page 6)

itstheclimb IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 26 July 2009
Posts: 13215

Posted: 27 May 2011 at 10:28am | IP Logged

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a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 27 May 2011 at 11:08am | IP Logged
Originally posted by itstheclimb

Originally posted by a little faith

Sanam,Sabah Hug

I use to write ffs but stopped due to my studies and also because no longer i had the patience to sit there for hours and conjour up another beautiful world through my words. Agreed there is truly nothing like words, they have so much power truly they matter...words do matter and people who think they don't are delusional...

I have said it before and I will againEmbarrassed words have the ability to turn rock to ash, humble mountains and coerce the stars to spell out your beloved's name, if only we would take the time to linger over every letter.  I agree they can be used to create other worldly illusions, or for some delusions BUT they can also be used to illuminate the beauty in this world too.

Here for instance you have portrayed a darker shade BUT in that way you light up its contrast.  As the Chinese say, things are completed by their opposites.  By feeling the heat of hate we may appreciate love more.

I guess being the writer, i don't usually look upon the meaning rather i write with a picture within my mind hoping to replicate on paper..

Herein lies my weakness and your strength.  I am unable to write or as you said conjure up a world whereas I may have some level of ability to describe it.  As you unintentionally pointed out to me, it is because I begin with a feeling, a moral or a statement.  I take these sentiments and endeavour to wrap a sentences around them. 

You begin at a more ethereal realm than I.  I am in awe, not only as it is something I am unable to do BUT because you do it so well. Embarrassed 

I loved the lines, whispers of wants, and needs never belonging, very beautiful and very eloquent.  StarStarStar thank you.

The first time I read it, I was a little bewildered by 'she watched them in her arms.'  I thought it may have been a typing mistake, for how could she watch them in her arms at a distance BUT then as I re-read the poem I realized my mistake, piecing the puzzle from the initial feel of the story being silently told.  For right there in the second line comes the answer envy. She envied those arms, so they were her arms in that she believed them to belong to her, were hers even though they both figuratively and literally, in the actual sense, belonged to people at a distance.  However it could also be the parents she watches as she holds their child in her arms BUT I prefer my first interpretation, as it links to wonderfully to the second line.

For me this poem is about the love she never received as a child, that cradle of loving parents.  So she watches people cradle a loved one, for it may not necessarily be a baby, but rather the clinged on tightly of their precious child, who no matter how tall they became would always remain the baby, always in need of receiving that love, thoses eyes smothered them with love, that cradling, protective instinct of parents, guardians.  It is that love which she sees in their one act, that she envies, that she wishes one day she will gain for herself, either by her own parents OR in some manner a similar love through her own child.
Sabah, truly you its as if you seen through the poem, all i wanted to convey was a child, rather a girl who is far off craving for the love she never received as a child and even today she craves for that love, needs it , wants it. I think i have managed to write the poem well if even one of my readers could see what i saw in those words while writing them.

I am glad.  For this interpretation truly affected me that I do not want to see it another way. It was very well done. 

A side issue is who are these people?  Are they random people, maybe parents hugging their child at a graduation, parents holding their new born child or are they infact her parents holding a new addition to the family, or a younger/older sibling that received that cradling, comforting, protecting love that the protagonist did not? Here again all those words of distance echo that lack of attachment, her bond of love, far away, ... for she had never been there.making this phrase her heart twisted in awe, all the more poignant, for her awe stems from that thing within the person/child being cradled, that she believes she never had.  She can not understand what that thing is, what it is that they have, that she lacked and by that thing they gained their love whilst she failed to receive it. she felt her soul wander off and join them for is this not her sibling too? Or if strangers are before her, then she understands that this sight is a happy sight, but somehow by that which she failed to receive, that loss has burdened her so that it weighs her down unable to join the celebrations.  So, the place she knew was hers, needed to be hers, but it never could she could never feel happiness for others being deprived of it in her own life. 
Your interest to every line overwhelms me because if i were to be honest when i wrote this i prorbably did not even think of all the things you are stating but maybe i did, but more in simple terms as i have seen the story with my owns eyes so maybe it were easier to put it into words because no angles were really hidden from me, neither the pain neither the hopes all was there and all i had to do was put it into words.

to put an end to your questions...but i know it would only bring more...still the she in the poem is a parent, its quite blunt of me to say this but someone people in this world are not lucky enough to realize how blessed they are to have a daughter born to them. They are blinded, but i pray that one day that cloak would rip away and they would be able to see what they haven't been able to see for a long time.

the girls yearns for the love but is always deprived of it, she wants to hate her siblings for being the cause but what good would that bring. Anyway, she keeps on watching them, wanting what they have but never gets it...thats where the whispers of wants come in and her needs never belonging even though she wishes they would...
so you have understood perfectly that the child is deprived of love and craves for it, hoping for it, praying for it. And hopefully one day the light would shine on her.

This is even more wonderful.  You have taken a common, unfortunately very common ailment of Asian cultures, and illuminated it so beautifully. It makes it even more sombre. 

Those lines
her heart twisted in awe even more heart breaking for as I stated, for her awe stems from that thing within the person/child being cradled, that she believes she never had.  She can not understand what that thing is, what it is that they have, that she lacked and by that thing they gained their love whilst she failed to receive it. That thing being something out of her hands completely.  Very sharply written. 

Additionally, again that line about envy, for she understands it to be envy, but in fact it is jealousy.  I know that the two words are used interchangeably but in truth they are two very different things.  Envy is the desire for something that belongs or is a right of another person whereas jealousy is something pertaining to grief felt at the loss of something that belongs to you or is your right, for instance when your husband flirts with another person OR is eyed up by another person.  Here it is her right to have that cradle, so it is jealousy BUT her own insecurities have even removed that legitimacy from her so she views it as envy. Beautifully done.  StarStarStar

However it is NOT all doom and gloom, she truly wishes for a better future for herself, both in gaining that love in her life BUT also emotionally being happy for others too, she was just not there yet.
as they say the whole world lives on hope, so does she after all she is a human also...and human have a tendecy to keep on believing..so does she. I truly hope one day she will be gain the love and happiness she is entitled too.

Me too. Embarrassed
I can see how much you loved just by how you have analyzed each words to its deep core meaning, tells me that you found this poem to be incredible. thank you.

Although it is true that all my posts speak about how wonderful a piece of work is, I do not post replies on EVERYTHING I watch or read, only those I find beauty in.  Furthermore as you assumed, generally, the length of the post is proportional to my love of it. Embarrassed  Love Sabah

Love Sabah
EdgeOfCredence Goldie

Joined: 10 May 2011
Posts: 1701

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 3:04am | IP Logged
Apologies for my late comment!

It ain't necessary for a poem to rhyme.. a poem is meant to be the lines that cross your mind and you modify em a bit or just pen down as they are. :)
'Cradle'  is an understandable poem you've written and the momentary emotions hidden in it are positively readable. :)
I do ask you to write more and share!

Thanks for the PM.

-SupriyaluvsMN- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 02 November 2009
Posts: 17453

Posted: 28 May 2011 at 5:44am | IP Logged
awesum sanu..
it ws really good!
i sincerely luvd it, felt wtevr u wantd 2 express thru d poem!
keep writin more!
luv ya!Hug
sariska_mnarti IF-Rockerz

Joined: 26 January 2010
Posts: 5199

Posted: 30 May 2011 at 5:27am | IP Logged
Amazing poem

Loved it

smiling-face Newbie

Joined: 06 June 2011
Posts: 3

Posted: 07 June 2011 at 1:26am | IP Logged
Nice poem... It is beautiful... :)
tes_v1 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 04 November 2008
Posts: 6055

Posted: 08 June 2011 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
Hey hun,

It's been a while since I received your PM about this poem, but I finally did find time to read it. It was a wonderful read, emotions clearly expressed and beautifully written.


Leve IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 20 November 2010
Posts: 30691

Posted: 13 June 2011 at 6:31pm | IP Logged
niceee oneee i really liked it Tongue

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