The Cradle - Page 4

Originally posted by: ...Mahak...

Umm...hiii...MAHIII
Dear, I don't know you much.you dont know me much, you know me loads meri jaan!!!...so I can't comment on the fact that you think that your writing phase is over...i think my writing phase is over because i no longer have the patience to conjour up a story through my words..but if you ever used to write, trust me, writing is inside you. You would always be able to write, no matter how many days or months have passed. And this is coming from personal experience :) Yes i know that and for that fact i still itch to write out a few lines...here and there 😆

And true, poems do not have to rhyme. They just are written to depict the emotions which sentences can never do. Exactly though im not saying rhyming poems do not depict emotion they do ..but i have this feel that they restrict..i don't maybe i'm wrong but its a personal opinion,, Thanks for sending me the PM for your poem, you never to have to say thanks me jana...!! because I am a complete fan of poems. I just love to read and write poems. So, thank you :) Yes, i do know how much you like to read and write and poems well there another addiction of yours that i know very well.!

And I really salute you for having the courage for publishing your poem. I write poems too, but they always remain hidden in my diaries, and not here. I could only persuade myself to publish three poems here, which are not that close to my heart. It takes a LOT of courage to share a poem. I feel intimidated because by sharing a poem, I feel like I am sharing a part of myself. Mahi ..i know you and your thoughts very well jana..and i agree to the extent that it takes courage but other than that u should never feel intimidated because those who are reading it should feel lucky enough to get a glimpse inside you...its a honour rather..so never feel that you have hide yourself..

When I read the topic, 'The Cradle', I got a preconceived idea that either the person is remembering his/her childhood or the mother is looking at her child in the cradle. I mean, anything, related to childhood. that was my intent..😛

And I can seriously tell you that this poem was truly amazing. It's really touching. I am in love with it. It's very important for the poem to convey the message, without the complexity. It's so beautifully written that I could feel how she felt.  well jana im so great you liked it, coming from you...a person i admire greatly for the will to create another world through your words...can't thank you enough.!!

She wanted kids because she never had any. But she had hope, that she would have them some day. It was truly beautiful captured. This poem was not only enchanting, but spectacular and real. It depicted all those emotions which were real. I guess thats one way you could look at it... for this particular poem...my mind had another completely different picture from yours. Though in the end you did capture the hope that i conveyed...see if i were talking about a women who wanted kids i would never say ..for the cradle that never held her..when i speak of this i speak of a child...regardless it was enough for me that you read it and apprieciated it mahi,

guess thats one way you could look at it, but to me when i was writing this Trust me, it's the truth because I never flatter anyone when it comes to poems.  Thanks again, for the PM. It's a wonderful poem. ...Well thank you jani.!

Keep writing always, because, you can. Well i'll try for sure...to keep writing but no promise, love youuu jana. take care :))

- Mahi

Originally posted by: dmgmjht4ever

You know Sanam, I miss your writing Nikki i just miss you in general our days together. You gave the true essence of a writer.I'm no writer but i do wish what i do..i do is right You put your heart into your writingThis particular poem was written from the heart.... You touch the readers' hearts. Can't explain it to you more than that. To put it in simple words, you are a true writer.why thank you jana alot, for your words mean so much to me, more than you could imagine.

With these phrases, you altered my way of thoughts for the moments while reading the poem and giving you feedback.

for the cradle that rocked them, never held her

 

for the smiles that adorned their face, never wore on hers

 

hope was always there but the light never shone on her

I am a little unsure whether or not you've noticed this, but I have changed, greatly. I noticed ..and you have matured greatly from the last time i talked to you, though still i see the same nikki who spoke to me so freely and willing and that image will never fade away. But seeing you write this poem reminds me one of the main reasons my immaturity and stupidity is still seen within the teenager I am. if you call yourself immature than don't forget me..i'm an epitome of immaturity and stupidity and i don' t think i will ever grow out of it because that part of me will always be there...becuase its makes me complete and you know nikki no matter how old we grow sweety we would always be a child at heart i know i'm...and its not shame for me to admit that..rather its admirable that i still find happiness in little little things ..as i did in my childhood.!

 

take care jana! :)) keep smiling ! Sanam.

With love,

Nikki 🤗

Originally posted by: aish_punk

hey sanu di..nice poem..

 

i've always admired poems, cause i can never write one myself!

 

all the thoughts were beautifully put, and each word made sense.

 

thnx 4 d pm

do write more

Originally posted by: a little faith

Sanam,Sabah 🤗

I did not know you also write though I almost always assume that creative types find there way here sooner or later.  True a picture (or nowadays vm😆)  speaks a thousand words BUT a thousand words can paint a picture that changes, adapts its hues, tones and brushstrokes depending upon the heart of the reader. 

 

I use to write ffs but stopped due to my studies and also because no longer i had the patience to sit there for hours and conjour up another beautiful world through my words. Agreed there is truly nothing like words, they have so much power truly they matter...words do matter and people who think they don't are delusional...

Reading people's comments, I find that my interpretation is unlike any other so before I invariably expose myself, I would like to say a few words on your style and form.

I loved that very unique form of the piece that does not even contain one sentence, for there is not one full stop.  In this way, it is as though we intrude upon a thought that has no beginning nor an end.  It almost does not have the strength to stand alone, being connected to both its history and its future yet to be, as the majority of thoughts truly are in substance.  In this way it is not weak but makes all other sentences bounded by full stops arrogant, for being isolated they may be protected but also guarded from being touched. Excellently and very uniquely done. ⭐️⭐️⭐️  This is wonderfully enhanced by the circling aspect of it, where you begin with far away and end with one day, accentuating her distance from her want. Brilliant!⭐️⭐️⭐️

 

Why thank you sabah, your attention to every little details always leaves me stunned and than i have to go back and read or watch in case of a vm, to see what you are talking about. I guess being the writer, i don't usually look upon the meaning rather i write with a picture within my mind hoping to replicate on paper..

I loved the lines, whispers of wants, and needs never belonging, very beautiful and very eloquent.  ⭐️⭐️⭐️ thank you.

The first time I read it, I was a little bewildered by 'she watched them in her arms.'  I thought it may have been a typing mistake, for how could she watch them in her arms at a distance BUT then as I re-read the poem I realized my mistake, piecing the puzzle from the initial feel of the story being silently told.  For right there in the second line comes the answer envy. She envied those arms, so they were her arms in that she believed them to belong to her, were hers even though they both figuratively and literally, in the actual sense, belonged to people at a distance.  However it could also be the parents she watches as she holds their child in her arms BUT I prefer my first interpretation, as it links to wonderfully to the second line.

For me this poem is about the love she never received as a child, that cradle of loving parents.  So she watches people cradle a loved one, for it may not necessarily be a baby, but rather the clinged on tightly of their precious child, who no matter how tall they became would always remain the baby, always in need of receiving that love, thoses eyes smothered them with love, that cradling, protective instinct of parents, guardians.  It is that love which she sees in their one act, that she envies, that she wishes one day she will gain for herself, either by her own parents OR in some manner a similar love through her own child.

 

Sabah, truly you its as if you seen through the poem, all i wanted to convey was a child, rather a girl who is far off craving for the love she never received as a child and even today she craves for that love, needs it , wants it. I think i have managed to write the poem well if even one of my readers could see what i saw in those words while writing them. 

A side issue is who are these people?  Are they random people, maybe parents hugging their child at a graduation, parents holding their new born child or are they infact her parents holding a new addition to the family, or a younger/older sibling that received that cradling, comforting, protecting love that the protagonist did not? Here again all those words of distance echo that lack of attachment, her bond of love, far away, ... for she had never been there.making this phrase her heart twisted in awe, all the more poignant, for her awe stems from that thing within the person/child being cradled, that she believes she never had.  She can not understand what that thing is, what it is that they have, that she lacked and by that thing they gained their love whilst she failed to receive it. she felt her soul wander off and join them for is this not her sibling too? Or if strangers are before her, then she understands that this sight is a happy sight, but somehow by that which she failed to receive, that loss has burdened her so that it weighs her down unable to join the celebrations.  So, the place she knew was hers, needed to be hers, but it never could she could never feel happiness for others being deprived of it in her own life. 

 

Your interest to every line overwhelms me because if i were to be honest when i wrote this i prorbably did not even think of all the things you are stating but maybe i did, but more in simple terms as i have seen the story with my owns eyes so maybe it were easier to put it into words because no angles were really hidden from me, neither the pain neither the hopes all was there and all i had to do was put it into words.

to put an end to your questions...but i know it would only bring more...still the she in the poem is a parent, its quite blunt of me to say this but someone people in this world are not lucky enough to realize how blessed they are to have a daughter born to them. They are blinded, but i pray that one day that cloak would rip away and they would be able to see what they haven't been able to see for a long time.

the girls yearns for the love but is always deprived of it, she wants to hate her siblings for being the cause but what good would that bring. Anyway, she keeps on watching them, wanting what they have but never gets it...thats where the whispers of wants come in and her needs never belonging even though she wishes they would...

 

so you have understood perfectly that the child is deprived of love and craves for it, hoping for it, praying for it. And hopefully one day the light would shine on her.

However it is NOT all doom and gloom, she truly wishes for a better future for herself, both in gaining that love in her life BUT also emotionally being happy for others too, she was just not there yet.

 

as they say the whole world lives on hope, so does she after all she is a human also...and human have a tendecy to keep on believing..so does she. I truly hope one day she will be gain the love and happiness she is entitled too.

Sanam, this was a remarkable poem, I LOVED, JUST LOVED, those nuances that I could lose myself into, peppered with beautifully simple yet captivating phrases.  A wonderful piece. 

 

I can see how much you loved just by how you have analyzed each words to its deep core meaning, tells me that you found this poem to be incredible. thank you.

Sanam, I know that I have this tendency to read beyond borders, so I would love to hear your side too, BUT then with poems I think it is better to let vagueness build voids people fill their own darkness into. : ) However if you prefer I that I do not dissect any more efforts of yours, then please pm me, you know that I would not mind and completely understand.

 

I love this tendency of yours to read beyond borders because it helps you see what others were not able to see or they saw but didn't realize ...Never feel obliged to stay within what i find reasonable rather just say whats in your mind..

 

thank youuu.

 

Love Sabah

 

Sanam.