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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

The Cradle (Page 3)

aish_punk IF-Sizzlerz
aish_punk
aish_punk

Joined: 11 January 2008
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Posted: 22 May 2011 at 3:44am | IP Logged
hey sanu di..nice poem..
 
i've always admired poems, cause i can never write one myself!
 
all the thoughts were beautifully put, and each word made sense.
 
thnx 4 d pm
do write more

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a little faith

a little faith Goldie
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Joined: 09 January 2009
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Posted: 22 May 2011 at 5:11pm | IP Logged
Sanam,

I did not know you also write though I almost always assume that creative types find there way here sooner or later.  True a picture (or nowadays vmLOL)  speaks a thousand words BUT a thousand words can paint a picture that changes, adapts its hues, tones and brushstrokes depending upon the heart of the reader. 

Reading people's comments, I find that my interpretation is unlike any other so before I invariably expose myself, I would like to say a few words on your style and form.

I loved that very unique form of the piece that does not even contain one sentence, for there is not one full stop.  In this way, it is as though we intrude upon a thought that has no beginning nor an end.  It almost does not have the strength to stand alone, being connected to both its history and its future yet to be, as the majority of thoughts truly are in substance.  In this way it is not weak but makes all other sentences bounded by full stops arrogant, for being isolated they may be protected but also guarded from being touched. Excellently and very uniquely done. StarStarStar  This is wonderfully enhanced by the circling aspect of it, where you begin with far away and end with one day, accentuating her distance from her want. Brilliant!StarStarStar

I loved the lines, whispers of wants, and needs never belonging, very beautiful and very eloquent.  StarStarStar

The first time I read it, I was a little bewildered by 'she watched them in her arms.'  I thought it may have been a typing mistake, for how could she watch them in her arms at a distance BUT then as I re-read the poem I realized my mistake, piecing the puzzle from the initial feel of the story being silently told.  For right there in the second line comes the answer envy. She envied those arms, so they were her arms in that she believed them to belong to her, were hers even though they both figuratively and literally, in the actual sense, belonged to people at a distance.  However it could also be the parents she watches as she holds their child in her arms BUT I prefer my first interpretation, as it links to wonderfully to the second line.

For me this poem is about the love she never received as a child, that cradle of loving parents.  So she watches people cradle a loved one, for it may not necessarily be a baby, but rather the clinged on tightly of their precious child, who no matter how tall they became would always remain the baby, always in need of receiving that love, thoses eyes smothered them with love, that cradling, protective instinct of parents, guardians.  It is that love which she sees in their one act, that she envies, that she wishes one day she will gain for herself, either by her own parents OR in some manner a similar love through her own child.

A side issue is who are these people?  Are they random people, maybe parents hugging their child at a graduation, parents holding their new born child or are they infact her parents holding a new addition to the family, or a younger/older sibling that received that cradling, comforting, protecting love that the protagonist did not? Here again all those words of distance echo that lack of attachment, her bond of love, far away, ... for she had never been there.making this phrase her heart twisted in awe, all the more poignant, for her awe stems from that thing within the person/child being cradled, that she believes she never had.  She can not understand what that thing is, what it is that they have, that she lacked and by that thing they gained their love whilst she failed to receive it. she felt her soul wander off and join them for is this not her sibling too? Or if strangers are before her, then she understands that this sight is a happy sight, but somehow by that which she failed to receive, that loss has burdened her so that it weighs her down unable to join the celebrations.  So, the place she knew was hers, needed to be hers, but it never could she could never feel happiness for others being deprived of it in her own life. 

However it is NOT all doom and gloom, she truly wishes for a better future for herself, both in gaining that love in her life BUT also emotionally being happy for others too, she was just not there yet.

Sanam, this was a remarkable poem, I LOVED, JUST LOVED, those nuances that I could lose myself into, peppered with beautifully simple yet captivating phrases.  A wonderful piece. 

Sanam, I know that I have this tendency to read beyond borders, so I would love to hear your side too, BUT then with poems I think it is better to let vagueness build voids people fill their own darkness into. : ) However if you prefer I that I do not dissect any more efforts of yours, then please pm me, you know that I would not mind and completely understand. 

Love Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 22 May 2011 at 5:13pm

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PurpleRaindmgmjht4ever

itstheclimb IF-Sizzlerz

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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
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a little faiththegameison

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Posted: 23 May 2011 at 5:27pm | IP Logged
Sanu... the feelings with which you wrote this poem, have reached the hearts of the readers.. and I am no exception for that... you have written it so beautifully... Beautiful Indeed Smile
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Posted: 25 May 2011 at 6:07am | IP Logged
umm... i really don't read poems that much, but this one really touched my heart!! the way you portrayed her emotions, the envy that had an intense pain beneath it, for a second, I could actually feel it... so, I think that says how much I loved it, and I would be happy if you pm me next time you decide to write anything..

God Bless

~jiya~
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Posted: 25 May 2011 at 11:27am | IP Logged
amazing poem sanu...soo glad to see u back..Smileand u rock as usual...
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