I haven't wrote anything in ages, especially nothing on GKD since forever I think. Anyways I was watching GKD and how Avdesh is with [Pihu] and so something came to mind.
In this OS, Arpita is DEAD. [Sorry to everyone but this is just experimental].. [Avdesh&Pihu are now married, Avi knows she is Pihu. Pihu loves Avdesh but feel something isn't right.. the characters are somewhat different to the show]
I Need You To Need Me. By Sanju. x
Pihu folded the sheets carefully, she looked over at Avdesh was on the couch. She loved him so much yet something stopped her from getting closer. Every time they tried to get closer they would argue and the distances would increase even more.
"I'm serving dinner, it'll be done in about five minutes." Pihu said softly.
She left room, and procceded to the kitchen.
Having dinner together was difficult, they would look at each other but between them there was a wall. Pihu knew it was a curse to be gifted with a face that she had.
Arpita was still between them. Avdesh and Pihu had been married for almost five years yet they couldn't be together despite being married. Tomorrow was their fifth anniversary and Pihu and Avdesh were scared to mention anything.
Avdesh was haunted with memories of his own past, own mistakes. He wanted to forget them. He wanted to let go and accept Pihu wholeheartedly but she was just Arpita and he knew if he put one foot out of place he would lose her too.
The truth was he lived in fear of losing her. Pihu. Arpita. For him Pihu was his chance for repentance of amending mistakes he made with his dead wife.
There was no denying he loved Pihu but he just didn't see her as her and that was why Pihu was distanced.
Pihu knew he saw Arpita in her and she wanted to tell him that she was not her but she couldn't. She couldn't bear to say something because her own heart broke everytime she looked in his eyes and saw his love and sorrow for Arpita.
Pihu served dinner and sat opposite Avdesh, in total silence she wanted to suggest doing something as a couple for their anniversary but dismissed the idea. Avdesh looked at Pihu and wanted to tell her he had wanted to plan for them to go out for a day out but decided to leave the idea.
After a rather quiet dinner both of them retired to their bedroom, both needed to speak but both reluctant as the other.
Pihu had dropped a large box from the top of the wardrobe. Avdesh rushed over to see if she was okay but was mortified to see that the box was a box with all his photographs, memo's, love letters, cards from and to Arpita.
Pihu in tears looked as her husband desperately tried to gather the memories. She couldn't believe that he would find peices of paper more important than her.
She threw the memories aside in anger and looked at Avdesh who was not happy by her actions.
"What are you doing Pihu? Do you not understand the value these hold for us?"
"No!! I don't Avdesh. I don't. OKAY!" Pihu was shaking in fury. All this emotion that had built up was finally erupting and now it was coming out in an unthinkable way.
"What Avdesh? What do you expect from me? I love you so much yet all you ever seem to do is cry and long after someone who is dead.
I am me AVDESH! Me. I am Pihu. Not Arpita. But you don't seem to understand that and I need you to. I need you to love me,I need your arms around me. I need you to love Pihu and let her go. Let Arpita go. I need you to realise that I want to make my mistakes.My own mistakes. You need to realise that I am NOT Arpita. I am Pihu.
I don't expect Arpita to vanish. I understand you loved her a lot but I am not her. I am me. Pihu. Can you understand that?"
"I do love you, Pihu"
"Yes but why? Because I remind you of Arpita. Because you want to amend mistakes you made with her? I just want to be let into your heart completely. Is that too much to ask? Am I really allowed to be loved for who I am and not what my face is."
Avdesh looked at Pihu, he knew she was right. Of course she was right. It was something that had brewing for nearly five years.
"I think we need a break. I know I love you. and I always will but there are days when we don't speak properly, nothing. Am just holding onto something that holds nothing? You've never held me in your arms like you want me. You've never kissed me. We don't have anything that is just Pihu and Avdesh do we? I think its best I move out so we can look at what we both need." Pihu swallowed her tear back.
She was devasted but the truth was spoken, she needed to get away.
Avdesh held Pihu's arm and simply shook his head gently, tears flowing down his face.
"I got to go."
Pihu picked her phone and keys leaving Avdesh all alone in his house.
Once again he was alone. Was it really time to let Arpita go?
-End Of Part 1-
Edited by _Sanjana23_ - 25 May 2011 at 7:13am