Sabah
@a little faith
Goldie
Chapter Four
That opening paragraph was just brilliant piece of writing. It had that Akanksha humour with a certain surreal feel as well as a poignant note. I loved it! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I loved the solitary ambiance of those lines and then how in the next paragraph you inform us that she isn't actually alone, making her state even more lonesome, as you pour on more sadness with recollections not only of her mother, but that security she felt when she was around. In just a few lines you have turned my heart countless times. That is skill indeed! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I love how in two instances, Panchi and her father & the college and her, you illuminate the manner they trap her within these walls. In the first instance it is subjective, personal hate from Panchi's side and in the second objectively the form of rules followed beyond the intentions they were created. However looking at it in another way, the first could be objective so that Panchi can distance herself from the messiness of life, by blaming almost arbitrarily. In the second we can not help but think maybe they could have looked the other way, maybe it was personal in some way that they used the rules as a ruse to just get what they wanted.
Either way it shows that whether personal or objective, these rules created with the intention of being in her favour, are now working against her. 👏
I loved the manner you tenderly weave in her father's love for her, despite himself as you elucidate further. 👏 The symmetry of how he slips in and out of her life, AND how she sees him between moments of sleep. In the end he is there whether she feels that effect in her life or not. 👏
If I was crazy, would I know it? You think you're fine, everyone
else knows better. Maybe I was crazy. I loved the circling nature of these thoughts that mysteriously corner themselves. Wonderful! ⭐️⭐️⭐️
I loved the flow of the conversation with Misha so that she can not help but follow her, flowing along in her thoughts, which occasionally whirlpool out upon tangents. Lovely.⭐️⭐️⭐️
Love Sabah
Edited by a little faith - 12 years ago
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