AR: Midnight Musings...[Blog Link : Page 140] - Page 58

I bought a train ticket. It'd drop me somewhere near Dmitri was right now. I'd hitchhike the rest of the way, or maybe figure something else out. I didn't care. Right now I was so mad, I could walk all the way from here to Dmitri's house and still not get tired.

I sat in the train and looked out of the window, trying desperately not to think about her. I wouldn't be able to do what I had to, if I became vulnerable. Just then the compartment doors opened and a girl came and sat in. We sat in silence for a while. A few minutes later, she started talking.

"Hi, I'm Nikki! And you?" she asked me, outstretching her hand.

I restrained myself from closing my eyes in frustration. The last thing I needed was some nosy girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut.

As sparsely as I could, I said, "Armaan.", not shaking her hand.

"Kya yaar! Itna achha din hai, aur tum mooh latka kar baithe ho!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Sunai nahi diya kya? Idiot! Woh sab chhodo," she said and crossed her legs on the seat, leaning towards me as if I was going to give her some unparalleled knowledge about life's great mysteries. I leaned back a little. That didn't seem to faze her and she continued. "Woh sab chhodo, aur mujhe yeh batao. Tum sad kyun ho? Lemme guess. Girlfriend ne dump kiya kya?"

I rolled my eyes. That seemed to answer her question somehow.

"I KNEW it! Mereko pata tha! Tum aadmi log na, waise bahot macho man banne ki koshish karte ho, lekin hote ekdum fattoo ho, nai?"

My mouth dropped open at her open insult towards my gender. Oh it was war time now!

"Haan haan. Jaise tum ladkiyon ki aankhon mein toh humesha, khushiya hi khushiya dikhai deti hai." I quipped sardonically.

"Oye! Kam se kam hum chhupaate toh nahi ki hum rote hai! Waise tumhaari girlfriend ne tumhe dump kyun kiya? Tumhaari mistake thi ya uski?!"

And we were back to the same topic. I sighed. She was never going to give up. As if reading my mind, she said, "Arre bataa bhi do! It's not like we're ever going to meet again! Kya fark padta hai?! Please? Pleaaaseee? Pleaaaseee-"

Before she could permanently damage my ears with her high pitched screeching, I put hands up in surrender.

"Fine, I'll tell y-"

Cutting me halfway through, she said, "Haan toh batao! Usne dump kyon kiya? Your fault or hers?"

"Kisi ka nahi. Circumstances."

"Aaay Haay! Karan Johar ko apni films ke dialogue tumse hi likhvane chahiye." Putting a large amount of seriousness in her tone, she continued. "Kisi ka nahi. CIRCUMSTANCES." "Waah! Kya dialogue hai! Abe saale, tu Dilip Kumar hai, ki inti senti baate kar raha hai? Circumstances jaisa kuch nahi hota! Yaar nahi bataana toh mat bataa! Aise faltu excuses mat de!"

"Faltu excuse?!" I asked, shocked. "Faltu excuse nahi hai, okay! It really IS complicated!"

"Do me a favor and be a man! Jaake ussko wapas lekar aa. Yahaan kya hindi film ke hero ki tarah baithe ho!"

I smiled faintly. We talked for a while after that. Or rather, she talked and I nodded. I envied her. She was bubbly and in love with life. Apparently, she'd run away from home, because she didn't want to marry just yet. I smiled in amusement as she filled me in on her life.

An hour later she got down, but not before giving me a quick hug. I asked for her number but she turned me down.

"Agar kismet mein likha hoga, toh hum phir milenge. So no number! Ainvayi hi kabhi mulakaat ho jaaye?" Winking, she left.

I laughed. And she called me filmy. Right.

It was dusk when I reached my stop. Getting down, I hired a cab for half the journey and then walked the other half. No one ever took a cab the entire way. It could give something away. I stood in front of the palatial house. It's where I'd been living after he brought me here. It looked ordinary. Something that any upper class family would own. In fact it even looked homey and inviting. The inside was a whole different story though.

I had my set of keys to the front door, but I chose to enter through the back. The sight of the backyard made unwanted memories to come up. Ignoring them, I walked towards our tree. Sitting in front of it, I looked for the spot where we'd inscribed our love for each other. I'd destroyed that carving the day she left. I found it. The hard, tough wood, scraped my fingers a little, a few splinters poking me. I ran my hands over it, again and again, our memories haunting me. Unknowingly, I had teared up a little. Wiping my moist eyes with the back of my hands, I got up. It was time to do what I had come to do. Carefully making my way around, I moved towards the backdoor, my hand, never leaving the gun.

To my surprise, the place was empty. Making most of the opportunity, I made my way upstairs, to my room. I opened the door, the nostalgia threatening to make me cry. I'd never thought Dmitri could do this. I knew that he was emotionally void, but when he'd saved me, it had created a certain amount of respect or maybe even trust in my heart for him. A certain security, that this man was the most powerful man in the world and that he wouldn't let anything happen to me. But he'd done exactly that. He'd hurt Riddhima. The thought filled me with fury and I got up. I looked around my room, picking up everything that was minutely valuable and that could help me. I thanked God for giving me the sense to save money, as I picked up the huge wad of cash and put it in my rucksack. I moved to my wardrobe taking my folder with all the important documents. It had my college degree, everything. I'd need it. I let the clothes be. They could be bugged.

I picked up the rucksack and made my way downstairs, my senses alert. This was Dmitri we were talking about. You could never be too careful. I reached the main door and thanked my lucky stars he wasn't here. As much as I wanted to punch his guts out, one had to think practically. Dmitri always had five body guards around him, at all times. And as good as I am at fighting; those five guys would beat me to a pulp. Shaking my head, I turned the door knob and opened the door.

"Armaan. How nice to see you." All my relief vanished. Dmitri was here. And from his tone, he wasn't happy to see me at all.

I tried to keep myself calm. "Dmitri. Nice to see you too."

"Are you, going somewhere?"

There it was. The moment. I wondered what he'd do.

"Yes, actually. I'm leaving."

"Leaving?" For a moment there was blank shock on his face but then his mask was back on.

"Yes, leaving. I want a normal life Dmitri. This isn't my thing."

"Is it because of the girl?"

"No. She's already left. And I have no idea where she is. But it's about time I left this life."

"You cannot do that. You owe me." It surprised me to see the ruthlessness in his voice. All this time I had been controlling my rage, but this man didn't deserve it. After all he did...

"You really want to go there? You destroyed my life Dmitri! Years ago, when I wanted to leave, you foiled my plan. Not this time. I WILL leave. Now let me go."

"I did what was necessary. Can you not see Armaan? You are wasting away talent! You have a gift! I haven't seen someone shoot like you do, in a long while!"

I looked at him. Finally there was some emotion. But it wasn't what I'd have liked. He really only kept me for my shooting skills. How stupid could I have been?

"You'll find other shooters Dmitri. Other little boys whom you can use." I spat out the words, my fury getting the better of me.

"Fine."

"Fine?" I asked, baffled.

"Fine. You can leave."

"I can?"

"Yes. But before that..."

Ah, here was the catch. I knew he wouldn't let me go off easy.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Oh, I don't want YOU to do anything. Mikhail and Sergei shall do the needful."

I frowned. This couldn't be good. What were they going to do? Kill me?

I felt them grab my hands, but there was one thing I needed to do.

"One sec. Can I say something before you do whatever you're supposed to do?" I looked at Dmitri. He nodded and they set my hands free.

Mustering as much strength as I could, I punched Dmitri with all my might. He wasn't expecting it, I could tell. Throwing a few of his choicest swear words at me, he staggered back, his nose bleeding. I fought back a smile. That had felt so good. I felt my hands being grabbed again.

I cooperated with Mikhail and Sergei, trying not to let my anger cloud my senses. They took me to the warehouse and locked the door. The three of us stood, with Mikhail and Sergei looking at each other intently. Suddenly, they tensed and took position.

As I understood their stance, it clicked me. Wrestling.

"He wants me to WRESTLE with you guys? That's dumb, even for him." I commented. Honestly, I couldn't figure out Dmitri's plan.

"You talk too much." Said Sergei, annoyed. A moment later, he punched me in the face. I staggered back with the impact while he continued. "The plan is not to wrestle with you. The plan is to beat you to death."

I punched him back. "You could've used a gun." I grunted. Mikhail, had kicked me in the stomach.

"He wanted to give you a chance." Said, Mikhail.

"I'm touched." I shot back my voice dripping with sarcasm. He had sent two of his best men to beat me to death. And he wanted to give me a chance?

I let the anger take over then. It helped fuel my energy. We fought, packing punches, kicks, at each other. Her images sped through my mind and I remembered her muffled sobs. I punched Sergei.

The warehouse was thick with the smell of blood and sweat. The match was getting one sided. They were his best men. My specialty was shooting and gadgets, not hands on fighting. I was losing.

My eyesight blurred as Mikhail punched me. I grunted as I punched him back with whatever little energy I had. I couldn't lose. I had to beat them. Use your brains Armaan. I fought back half heartedly, but my mind was racing. I had to do something. Fighting wasn't going to cut it. My eyes fell on the tool rack on the other side of the room. If I could get to the rods, I'd be able to knock them out and escape.

They kicked me again and this time I fell down. I crawled to the back, escaping from them while moving to the tool rack. They followed me, punching me in the process. I shut my eyes for a moment. I couldn't do this much longer. Her laughter filled my ears. It brought everything back and in that moment, I found it in me. I found the reason to live. I could do this ' Get out of this shit and start anew. I got up, stumbling a little. I kicked Sergei in the ribs and heard him hiss. Maybe I'd broken a rib. Mikhail advanced towards me, cornering me. He had no idea he was leading me to the tool rack.

I saw the rack from the corner of my eyes. I could easily reach it, but I needed that second. That one second where Mikhail would be distracted. I tensed myself in position, ready to kick him. He saw that and defended himself. I prayed that this would work. Instead of the kick, I served him with a punch, something he wasn't ready for. It wasn't too strong, but enough to distract him. Quickly grabbing one of the rods, I hit Mikhail in the knee. His screams echoed in the warehouse as he fell down. Wasting no time, I gave the same treatment to Sergei. Hitting on the knee is the most effective. All three joints of the leg, meet there and a good, forceful kick can break a knee. Not even the best fighter could fight after that.

I saw them on the floor, their faces twisted in pain. I hit them in the head, hard enough to knock them out, but not hard enough to kill them. Grabbing my rucksack I ran to the street.

I walked to the main road, my disheveled appearance attracting many stares. I came to the local provision store. I got in and grabbed a few clothes. I paid the man and he said I could use the washroom. I went in and cleaned myself. Taking out my cell phone I took the SIM card and flushed it down the toilet. I wore fresh underwear, fresh clothes and new shoes. Assured that nothing was bugged, I smiled. I was off the grid now. Dmitri couldn't find me.

I grabbed some food at the deli, and stayed the night at a motel. I needed a good night's sleep. The last thought in my mind, was the sound of her twinkling laughter, warming up my heart.

*2 Years Later*

I sat in the chair, my head thrown back. It'd been two years since I escaped. I looked around me, a smile curving my face. It was a new life. A better life. I worked at the Bank of America, as the head of security. I smiled, satisfied. I'd done well. The job involved my interests and the pay was good too. I was at a happier place now. My eyes stopped on the photo at my desk. It was a photo of her. Riddhima. I missed her. And I knew I still loved her, but what were the chances that I'd see her again? I took one last look at the surveillance footage, making sure everything was fine. My shift had ended and I cleared my desk, and left, closing the cabin door behind me.

"You're going?" I heard Matt ask me.

"Yeah, I did a double shift. Haven't been home since yesterday, need to catch some sleep! You need anything?"

"Nah, I'm good. But do me a favor, while you're going, go downstairs and assist Dave, will you? He says there's some problem in accessing an account!"

"That's not my department man! Just 'cause you're too lazy..." I laughed.

"Oh just do it! I'm tired! I have a pregnant wife at home."

"Touche, I'll do it. You have a good night!"

I went downstairs, to Dave's desk. "What's up? Matt said you needed assistance!"

"Yeah, this lady here, can't access her account. I checked everything. Her money's fine, the account's not frozen, even her credit cards are fine, they're not maxed out. Check it for me?"

"Sure, gimme a sec. Why don't you lead," my eyes fell on the customer and I grew silent. It couldn't be. I ignored my racing heart and tried to keep myself calm, but it was difficult, with her looking at me like that. I took a deep breath. "Why don't you lead Miss Gupta to the waiting room, I'll fix this."

He led her away, shooting me a puzzled glance. I mouthed, "an old friend" at him and he smiled. Maybe he figured out the underlying meaning. I sat down and worked on the computer.

Ten minutes later, I was done. I went to the waiting room, my mind flooded with thoughts of what I would say. Should I keep it strictly professional? I mean, it's been two years, she could be dating someone. I decided on professional. If she talked more than that, I'd respond.

I saw her sitting in the waiting room, her fingers playing with each other. I fought a smile. She did that when she was nervous.

"Riddhima?" She looked at me and stood up.

"Armaan."

I lost myself into those green eyes. They held a little less pain, and a lot more questions than the last time I saw her.

"How've you been?" My trance broke when I heard her voice.

How've I been? I've been missing you. Wondering if I'd be able to see you again, remembering all our memories...but I didn't say that. "I've been good. You?"

"I've been good too." She smiled softly and I smiled back.

I led her to the computer and she finished her work, now that the account had been fixed.

We walked to the door, onto the street. I didn't want to say goodbye.

She surprised me. "How long have you been here for?"

"Since two years, what about you?"

"I moved six months ago. I'm the editor of The Weekly." I congratulated her, genuinely happy for her success. She asked me about my job and I told her. We felt silent after a while.

She bit her lip, nervous. "I should...uh, go, probably."

I tried not to feel let down. "Yeah, I should too...I guess."

She turned around. I almost slapped myself. I couldn't let her go! Not when we met like this, totally out of the blue!

"Riddhima?!"

She turned around and looked at me. Was that hope I saw in her eyes?

"I...I mean," I took a deep breath. I could do this. "I mean, can I have your number? I'd like to keep in touch..."

I looked at her, trying to gauge her emotions. She seemed happy!

"Sure! I'd love that." We exchanged numbers and she left.

I tried to keep the grin off my face, and failed.

It was a week later and I was at home, surfing the T.V. I got up for a cup of coffee. I'd been debating whether to call or maybe text, her. Would it sound too desperate? I made the coffee and headed back to the couch when my phone buzzed.

Hey :)

Are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could have coffee?

-Riddhima

Sure thing! Starbucks at 6?

-Armaan

It's a date :)

-Riddhima

I smiled to myself. It's a date.

*1 Year Later*

I looked in the mirror, trying to ease my nervousness. It'd be fine. Wouldn't it?

I picked up my wallet and the little box. It'd been a year since we'd been dating. We had decided to start afresh, take things slow, but ended up confessing our love within a month of dating. Things were definitely good. I smiled as I drove to the pizzeria. She had to like this.

I waited at the table by the window, once I was sure the manager knew what to do. I couldn't wait for her to come.

She came in and smiled, sitting on the chair opposite of mine. "What's up? Why the sudden date?"

"What, I can't go out with my girlfriend?"

"Yes you can!" she said, smiling. "Shall we order?"

"Sure!"

She ordered pizza, and we waited for it, while filing each other up. She told me about the latest idea she had for the magazine and I listened. She laughed when I joked about work and for the millionth time, I thanked Him for bringing her back into my life. She really was the rainbow.

The pizza arrived and we ate it. I was bubbling with anticipation. I wondered how she'd like it. I signaled the manager while she was busy eating and the lights went off. Almost immediately, she gripped my hand. She hated the dark.

I pulled my hand out of hers and she hissed, annoyed, "What are you doing?!"

"Give me a moment!"

A minute later, the lights were back on. I saw the expressions on her face change from fear, to shock to understanding and then finally settling on joy. I knew what she was seeing, me, down on one knee with a ring in my hand. She looked at me her eyes threatening to fill up. I wondered why I'd been so worried. This was meant to be.

"I love you, Isa. Will you marry me?"

She looked into my eyes for what seemed like years and then said, "Yes." I got up and pulled her into a tight hug, my heart racing.

She pulled away, wiping a tear. "I love you, Armaan."

"I know, I love me too."

"Mtch." She smacked my arm, frowning. I cupped her face, moving the flicks behind her ears and smiled as she turned red. Leaning in, I pulled her into a kiss, a promise to never let go.

As she pulled away, I looked into her eyes. She was mine, all mine.

In that moment, I realized something. Sometimes home isn't a place, it's a person. And I was finally home.

---The Beginning---

See the Note on the next page, please!