Baat Hamari Pakki Hai


Baat Hamari Pakki Hai
Baat Hamari Pakki Hai

Imperfectly Perfect -short story UPDATE 6/30, Pg 8 (Page 5)

sash10 Goldie

Joined: 30 October 2010
Posts: 1177

Posted: 03 June 2011 at 8:14am | IP Logged
StarThumbs Uplove the updateee Wink

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Dips_Arhi Senior Member

Joined: 31 December 2010
Posts: 736

Posted: 04 June 2011 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
i love ur short story so far!
loved the update!!

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momma1128 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 15 August 2007
Posts: 16403

Posted: 05 June 2011 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
Today marks the day that Barun Sobti embarks onto a new avatar - Arnav Raizada.  But, I wanted to update my short story today to pay homage to the character that Barun brought to life that paved the way for his success, Shravan Jaiswal.  This is the 5th episode.  Enjoy.  As always, your comments are always appreciated.

Episode #5

Shravan came home that evening after work and walked straight up the stairs to his bedroom, without saying a word to anyone on the ride back home or when he walked through the doors.  He held the tiffin carrier in his hands and placed it on Saachi's night stand, sat down in the hand shaped chair and looked at it, almost willing it to speak.  He had no idea what was happening.  All he was thinking was – what is this relationship with Saachi?   'Damn it, I just called it a relationship - rishta.', he thought, 'Shravan what is happening to your dimaag, she has pregnant brain, not you.'  Just then, Saachi walked in.

'Oh, you are already up here!  I didn't see you come home.'

Shravan heard Saachi, but kept staring at the tiffin.

'Shravanji?  Heeelllooo?  Was something wrong with your tiffin today?  You keep looking at the carrier.  Was there a problem?'

'Nahin.  Achha Saachi, tell me, why did you give me the tiffin you gave me today?'

'You didn't like it?'

'No it's not that.  I was just wondering how you decided what to pack me, that's all.  To tell you the truth I have never had a complaint about anything you send, except maybe, that I wish there was more food.  But, I never thought about what you had packed, I just ate, and today this question just dawned on me, how do you decide what to pack?'

'I decide what to pack based on what you love Shravanji because I love you.' Saachi thought, but did not say out loud.  Instead she said, 'When you live with someone, you pick these things up.  Waise, I know the habits of your family so well, so wouldn't it make sense that I would know yours too.  This automatically happens when you care about the people who you are with.'  She looked at him full on in the eyes.   'Are you picking up my signal Mr. Jaiswalji?  Any ghantis going off?', she thought.

'Well, thanks.' Shravan said.  Emotional tizzies were being sent to his brain; in the distance he thought he heard a bell.

'Remember, no thanks and no sorry.' Saachi said as she walked over to the cupboard to pick out his clothes. 'You want to wear this black tee shirt or this orange one?'

'The black one.'    She knows about this too and I never noticed.  Maybe I never cared enough before to notice.  Yes, you do care, the voice echoed in his head.  He stared at her as she put the shirt on the bed and then walked over to the book shelf.  She was murmuring about Nita bhabi wanting to borrow one book that she had just finished and how they watched some stupid show about a woman and her overly close relationship with her khakras and belan which she promised to never watch again.  All the while she talked, he stared.  Maybe it was the pregnancy, but he thought she was radiant.  His crooked smile had crept up on his face without him realizing.

'And Shravanji, that show stunk so bad, I want to watch a movie tonight – okay?'

'Hmm?  Yes, okay.  Done.'

'Good.  I will see you downstairs for tea and dinner.'  Saachi smiled to herself as she walked down the stairs.   'Shravanji, I see you staring.  I know what is going on, I was there also.  No more formulas.  Now, I will just move you along the path you are already on.'

After dinner, Saachi and Shravan retired to their room.  Shravan made sure to bring snacks as Saachi's appetite had turned into a bottomless pit of late.  Before they put the movie in, Shravan discussed the Bunty matter with Saachi.  As he had told Bunty, Saachi first called Shreya to find out if she really wanted to go out with Bunty and if the idea of the "double date" had come from her.  After assurances that Shreya was indeed interested, Saachi worked out what days and times Shreya would be available for dinner, and since she was the girl, Saachi also told her it was her choice of where to go.  When all was done, she told Shravan that Shreya would tell Mama and Mami that she was going out with Saachi shopping and would be coming home late as her Jiju would be taking them out for dinner.  Bunty could meet them at the Hilltop Caf, as that is where Shreya wanted dinner.  She liked the ambiance and the outdoor band.  Shravan then called Bunty.  After an initial ribbing and reminding of how much like a husband Shravan acted and how unlike "just friends" Saachi and Shravan were, Bunty agreed to meet them all next Saturday.

Saachi had chosen a comedy movie for the evening, 'Nine Months' with Hugh Grant.  Shravan thought that Saachi must want to watch all movies on pregnant women.  Shravan watched the movie and was surprised that he identified with male character, who walked out on his pregnant girlfriend because he was not ready to be a father or husband, only to discover that he already had the perfect life with them, and life was horrible and lonely without them.   Saachi thought to herself as she watched this movie she had seen twice before, 'Shravanji, no more formulas, I am just helping you along.' 

About half way through the movie, Saachi realized that they were out of snacks.

'Shravanji, I am hungry.  Mujhe Maggi chaiye.'

'Toh jao.   Banao.  Who is stopping you?'

'My feet hurt and I am all comfy.  Jao na.  Please it takes only a little time.  Instructions right on the packet.  I'll pause the movie until you get back.'

'Oh God, fine.'

Shravan went downstairs to the kitchen, making sure not to make too much noise, as his parents and grandmother were probably already asleep.  Shravan saw a small light on in the kitchen already when he got to the door.  On the way in, he bumped into Saurabh.

'Bhaiya!  What are you doing here?'

'You tell me what you are doing here.'

'I asked you first.  What's that on your plate?  Oh hooo, you are feeling like eating mango pickle and imli?', Shravan laughed.

'Shravan, this is for your bhabi, she has these cravings.  Don't mess with a pregnant woman and her cravings, take it from me.'

'Why couldn't bhabi get it?  She has you running around, hahahahaha.'

'Really Shravan?  Why are you down here?'

'Oh, ummm, I felt like having Maggi.  So, I decided to make it myself because Saachi is pregnant.', Shravan looked down at his feet.


'Hmm bhaiya?'

'Dadi's kheer is here, you want that?'

'Dadi's kheer is left over?  Yes, I'll take some.'

'Good, I'll get it for you.'  Saurabh went over and spooned out a bowl for Shravan and said good night, now go, and waited until Shravan turned around and left.  Then Saurabh went back to his room with his potpourri of achhars for Niddhi.  Shravan had not returned to his room, but ducked down at the top of the stairs and ate the kheer while he waited to make sure that Saurabh had closed the door to his room.  He slowly crept his way back into the kitchen and silently took down a pot to boil water and took out a Maggi packet.  While searching for the tawa, all the lights in the kitchen went on.

'Hahahaha.  Maggi for myself.  Liar.', Saurabh grinned at the doorway.

Shravan looked sheepishly at his big brother,' Okay, yeah it's for Saachi.  She eats like a horse these days.  Where is the tawa bhaiya?'

'I don't know Shravan.  You tell me where the bread is, I forgot Niddhi's toast.'

As the Jaiswal brothers moved about the kitchen, they heard someone clear their throat.  Both of them turned around to find Pratap Jaiswal standing in the doorway.

'Oh Papa, sorry we woke you.  It's just that Niddhi and Saachi want something to eat and you know they say always fulfill a pregnant woman's cravings.', said Saurabh.

'Yeah Papa, sorry.' chimed in Shravan.

Pratap smiled at both of them. 'Oh boys, I have been in your shoes.  I know how demanding it can be to have a pregnant wife.  She makes many demands on you and is very irritable.  When Madhura was pregnant with you Saurabh, your mother wanted to have fruits and achhar and kheer and all sorts of other things in the middle of night and I had to satisfy…'

'Pratap.  Didn't your mother ever teach you not to lie?' Dadi had snuck into the kitchen at some point, also awakened by the banter in the kitchen. 'And be very careful how you answer, because I am your mother.'

'Ma, what are you doing here?  And what am I lying about?  What exactly did you hear?'

'I heard everything Pratap.  Boys, this man was not even around when your mom was pregnant with Saurabh.  He was half the time away on business trips and the other half, he did exactly what he did on his honeymoon.'

'Oh teri, phir Papa's honeymoon!', Shravan's most hated topic.

'Just like on honeymoon, your Papa called us for help on what to do.,' Shravan and Saurabh both donned looks of horrified suppressed laughter and looked at the floor and ceiling and especially away from Pratap.  Poor Pratap looked at his mom and tried to shush her.  It didn't work. 'Pratap kept calling and coming to us for help.  He didn't come to the kitchen to get anything for Madhura.  I did all that.  Bolo Pratap, did you do all that or did I?'

A very uncharacteristically meek Pratap answered, 'You did Ma.'

'Pratap you go to bed.  Standing here giving gyan to my potas on a topic you know nothing about.  Chalo, Saurabh, Shravan, what do Niddhi and Saachi want.  I will help you and you can give it to my bahus. Jao Pratap.'  Pratap left the kitchen with a bruised ego and learned never to lie with his mother in the house.  Dadi busied herself getting the Maggi and toast together.  Shravan and Saurabh started plating and insisted that Dadi go to bed.  Saurabh took his plate, Shravan his and both went off to see their wives. 

In just a few minutes, Shravan ran back into the kitchen where he saw Saurabh, again. 'Bhaiya, we have got to stop meeting like this!  This is the third time tonight!  What now?'

'Arre Shravan, I forgot the stupid jelly.  You?'

'I forgot the hot sauce.'

Both men grabbed their condiments and returned for the last time that night from the kitchen.

'Oh thank you so much Shravanji.  I can't eat Maggi without hot sauce!'

'You are welcome Saachi.  Here you go.  Didn't we just say no thanks and no sorry.  Anyway, Saachi, hit play now.'

'Okay.  You know Shravanji that was really very nice of you.'

'Was nothing really Saachi.'

'No Shravanji, it was something.  It is just very nice to know that you care this much to do something like that.  Can you understand?  I don't think you would have done this a few months back.' she smiled at him as he thought about what she said.  She was right, he thought, somewhere something between them had shifted.  Saachi could see that she got him thinking.  Mission accomplished.  Saachi turned towards the television and pointed to the movie, 'Shravanji, get ready, the best part is coming.'

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ash91 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 18 April 2010
Posts: 8970

Posted: 06 June 2011 at 1:07am | IP Logged
yet another wonderful update!!! loved the mention of khakras and belan,by the wayWinkLOL

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maris08 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 03 December 2010
Posts: 7163

Posted: 06 June 2011 at 1:35am | IP Logged
LOvely Lovely update. So its maggie getting done for the magpie sweetie Saachi by the irresponsibly responsible fellow. Well eagerly waiting for that ganti of big booming bell to ring in   that something called love, to hit  Shravan with such a G forcethat  hes never going really going to recover.
BTW as Ash said i loved your pot shots at belan and khakras. Will maggie get eaten on the chajja??????

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chammak_challo IF-Rockerz

Joined: 17 December 2009
Posts: 5529

Posted: 06 June 2011 at 2:08am | IP Logged
Anu this a great update...!! Loved it...! Continue on...!!

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..-Niru-.. Goldie

Joined: 06 October 2010
Posts: 1460

Posted: 06 June 2011 at 5:06am | IP Logged
beautiful update !!!

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Ishrafan11 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 16 October 2010
Posts: 4845

Posted: 06 June 2011 at 8:57am | IP Logged

Awesome update too funny LOL cant wait for the next one

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