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Baat Hamari Pakki Hai
Baat Hamari Pakki Hai

Imperfectly Perfect -short story UPDATE 6/30, Pg 8 (Page 4)

momma1128 IF-Sizzlerz
momma1128
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Joined: 15 August 2007
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Posted: 02 June 2011 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
I am back with a mini chapter/episode.  There is a lot further for this to go - and it keeps going in my head - so I thought that I would put this next piece in.  It will serve as a bridge to the next episode/chapter which I am hashing out.  Please forgive any mistakes in hindi as I am not a hindi speaker...only listener LOL.


Episode 4

The weeks passed as Saachi and Shravan settled into a very comfortable routine.  Each morning would begin with Saachi removing Shravan's hand from her waist as she woke up, then she would get ready and go downstairs.  Shravan, no longer a late riser, would get ready on time and come down to join the family for breakfast.  On the few occasions that Shravan had awoken before Saachi, he had noticed his hand on her hip and cursed himself for crossing the pillow wall.  He was totally unaware that like his prancing around half dressed in Joe Boxers, this too had become his unconscious habit.  A habit that Saachi found endearing and hoped to one day acknowledge once it was acknowledged by Shravan himself.

Another new habit Shravan had taken up was to always place a prenatal vitamin tablet on Saachi's place setting at breakfast, to ensure she would take it.  Dadi always smiled when she saw this.  Saurabh thought his little brother was trying to show off as a more caring husband to his pregnant wife.  He flat out accused Shravan of doing just that. 'Shravan, you can't even find your socks and here you are trying to make me look bad by giving your wife vitamins every morning.  You little stinker.'  Niddhi bhabi quickly came to Shravan's rescue.

'Saurabh, do not call it showing off.  Shravan is actually doing something that all husbands are expected to do for their expectant wives.  It just shows his concern for Saachi and the baby.  He is aware of their needs.  No one insisted he do this – right Saachi?, Saachi shakes her head no as she suppresses a smile-  and Shravan certainly doesn't do things like this to show off.  And show off to whom?  You?  Us?  You know better Saurabh.  And quite frankly, you should be ashamed to think of Shravan like this and learn a lesson from my dear dewar instead.'  Saurabh looked at his wife with amazement after her tirade against him.  It must be the hormones he thought.

'Thank you bhabi dear.  At least someone understands.' Shravan said jokingly.  'Bhaiya, jalan doesn't suit you.  Chee.'

'Shravan chup.  Come on, let's get to work.'

Every morning now Shravan left with his brothers and Nita bhabi to get to the office.  After Shravan left, Saachi started her day's work – tidying, cleaning, helping Ma and Dadi, packing Shravan's tiffin – and as such became an integral part of the daily fiber in the Jaiswal home.  When she or Niddhi went out to the doctor or to run errands, it was quite obvious some kind of energy had left the house and it didn't feel like home anymore.  On weekends, even Shravan noticed this shift in the house and realized that even he felt something missing when Saachi was not around.  And as much as he kept reasoning that this was because she was a habit, that voice had not kept quiet.  He found himself pondering the question, if Saachi is something more than a friend, or even best friend, what is that something?  He could not wrap his mind around the possibility of it being love.  How could it be?  He had done everything possible to make certain that Saachi and he would not come closer, hadn't he?  And yet, here he was accommodating her in every way because she was pregnant with his child.  Not because of any external pressure, but a genuine willingness and need.   He may not have realized or have any recollection of how they became that physically close, but hidden in the aftermath of this responsibility he felt towards Saachi and his child, something more was brewing and bubbling to the surface.  Shravan was not quite ready to name it, especially since he had spent the last months fighting the feelings, the closeness, tooth and nail.  No, he was not going to think on it anymore and shut his mind off. 

But the heart does what it will regardless of the mind and its logic.  Shravan had mistaken the voice as coming from his head when it was coming from deep within his chest.  It sent a memo to Shravan's head every time he saw Saachi.  Hey Shravan, there she is, something something, you feel it?  He could feel himself lighting up in her presence and whenever he caught himself and tried to be serious with her and put on a false face, she managed to unmask him.  After dinner on most days, Shravan and Saachi retired to their own room and spent the evening chatting, watching movies, listening to music and once in a frequent while, arguing.  To the outsider, it was your everyday run of the mill happy marriage.

At work Shravan was slowly proving himself to be very capable.  Pratap had appointed Shravan as project manager for a few clients.  Shravan handled the design development, material sourcing and was the primary contact for his clients at Jaiswal and Sons.  He was extremely well liked and dedicated.  A recent trip to Gujarat had been the reason he had missed Saachi's doctor's visit.  He had been very keen to go to the doctor, but had decided to visit the client personally.  Saachi was very proud of Shravan.  He had guaranteed her that he would not miss the next visit, particularly after she showed him a sonogram picture.  Shravan looked at the bean shaped image on the sonogram and exclaimed that Saachi was not pregnant because very clearly there was only a rajma in her belly.  Saachi assured him that she was with child and that he should come next time and ask all his questions to her OB/GYN, or better yet, shut up and listen.

Pratap was also hearing very good things about Shravan's abilities to handle client expectations and deadlines.  He was proud at the turnaround he was witnessing in Shravan but, except behind closed doors during his chats with Madhura and Dadi, he kept this to himself.  Pratap praised Shravan sparingly in person, as he knew it only took one compliment too many to send Shravan into an overconfident self-entitlement tailspin during which he was sure he would find Shravan leaning back in his leather executive chair, feet propped up on the desk, asking a peon to bring him hot coffee and aloo pakoras.

It just so happened, that that was the very day dream Shravan was having while waiting for a report to print out, when his phone rang.

'Hello, Jaiswal and Sons.', Shravan answered.

'Hey, is this one of the sons?  Hi Shravan!', chuckled the caller.

'Oye, Bunty!  How are you?  How's work?'

'Ok, yaar.  I am getting some more and more files to handle but it's all good.  Listen, I have a favor to ask you.'

'Oh, I know all about extra work man.  Hitler has been slowly increasing my client load.  He's watching me like a vulture, waiting for me to screw up so he can swoop down and eat my carcass.  But I suppose that's what I get for working in the family business.  We all can't work travel agencies like you. Bata, what favor?'

'You know how Shreya and I have been talking on and off and chatting... '

'Oh gosh, please, Saachi and I told you we don't want to know details about that mamla.  We are happy for you and we only encouraged you to call her but please please, spare me details.'

'No Shravan, listen yaar.  So it is quite obvious we like each other, but she is damn scared to meet me in person alone because of her folks, so I told her that how about we go out with your jiju and didi.  She agreed – so Shravan, when are we going?'

'Oh teri, mujhe haan kab bola?  Just because you know that I can't remember how I actually ended up with a pregnant wife doesn't mean you can pull fast ones on me.  I have to discuss with Saachi first and then she will discuss with Shreya and then Saachi will discuss with me further – because that's how she works – and then finally I will tell you haan ya na and details.  Samjha?'

'Achha?  You are talking like a true married man Shravan.  Can you see how much you have changed living with bhabi?'

'What?  I am still the same and Saachi and I are JUST friends.  I mean we live together and it's quite natural..'

'Oh ho Shravan, mera dost, you are so delusional.  She is JUST your friend..'

'Yup.  End discussion.'

'You are positive she isn't something more?  You seem very keen..'

'What did you just say?', Shravan got nervous, 'Bunty, what did you just say, did you hear that some place because I thought you said something more, those exact words, but you couldn't have heard it, it echoes, my head, ..', Shravan became incoherent and was very clearly mumbling words that only he could understand.

'Shravan, did I say something confusing?  Listen, fool, you sound a little pagla right now.  Go talk to bhabi like a good husband and get back to me.  Okay?' Bunty was totally smirking on the other side of the line (I got you Shravan, you emotional duffer).

'Bunty, don't call me fool, you fool.  Yes, I'll get back to you.  Bye.'  Shravan put down the phone.  What in the heck just happened?  What is Bunty seeing?  Am I delusional?  No, nahin, right now, I am only hungry – I am going to go get my tiffin.  Shravan walked off to get his tiffin carrier and opened up the dabbas.  'Hmmm, Saachi, what did you pack for me today?  Oh yes, my favorite!!  Oh, Saachi, this is my favorite part of the day, I love the way you always…', Shravan stopped midsentence and looked around to see if anyone heard him.  He stared at the tiffin carrier and then pressed his fingers to his temple and then gasped to himself, 'Oh crap.'

The following 11 member(s) liked the above post:

Dips_Arhi..-Niru-..sash10ktmsIshrafan11Davichammak_challoash91maris08-Jahnvi-Infofan

Ishrafan11 IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 16 October 2010
Posts: 4845

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 4:28pm | IP Logged
Great update shravan too funny cant wait for the next update Smile

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momma1128

ktms Goldie
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Joined: 24 November 2010
Posts: 1764

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 6:36pm | IP Logged

I know its hard to write anu, but actually i felt this chapter is not at all long and boring. i enjoyed each and every descriptions and dialogues.so i  love to read long chapters from you.Big smile

This story is very interesting  and i cant wait for your updates!!!!Plz dont say your chapters are boring,i enjoy every minute of reading it.Tongue


Edited by ktms - 02 June 2011 at 6:37pm

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momma1128

maris08 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 02 June 2011 at 7:19pm | IP Logged
Anu
 A well laid platform for that duffer to realise that something is the love thats is deep buried and engrained in his heart and mind respectively.
Superb update. carry on. Is naya Sharvan ko dekhkar sab ko jalan hota hai. Who knows even Rajat may feel this and get his wife pregnant pronto.(Have I give you some fodder to chew, for some developments on these linesWink)

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momma1128

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Posted: 02 June 2011 at 8:01pm | IP Logged
Ah ha!!! Seems like Shravan ji is about to realize he has fallen completely-no-turning-back-in-love with Sanchi. Loved this update from word to word...hell... letter to letterLOL.
Anu, I don't know what you all have cooking in that very smart brain of yours for the future of this story but let me just say, it's too good. Keep it going!!! You've left us hanging once again so come back with another update soon!Big smile

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momma1128

Cinderella100 Goldie
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Posts: 1053

Posted: 02 June 2011 at 11:20pm | IP Logged
Cant wait for next update.  Wish we could have seen this in the show.

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momma1128

ash91 IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 03 June 2011 at 12:56am | IP Logged
i repeat again-this story is closest to the show...you seem to know all the characters, esp shravan, inside out ,AnuWinkWink shravan has become responsible but still he is the same old shravan with all those funny one-liners and 'wide' imaginations...the rajma-in-the-belly thingy cracked me upROFLROFL slowly he is on his way to realize the sirens going off in his head...cant wait for the next update...but pls take your own time coz, i have learnt from your updates that sabr ka phal meetha hota hai..

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momma1128

chammak_challo IF-Rockerz
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Posted: 03 June 2011 at 1:35am | IP Logged
Anu...!! Great update...!! Waiting for the restEmbarrassed

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momma1128

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