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PR Reloaded- II (FF) Note on pg. 76- do read! (Page 40)

Swati_ IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 7:33am | IP Logged
Nikki wanted to ask you one more thing , do you have the hole FF planned in your head or you plan the story after each update ?
I remember , you had told us how Arman's consummation scene would be ..The mantras being chanted outside , Arman taking marriage vows again ...Hai na ?

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 7:52am | IP Logged
Dear Nikki,

I thought ok, archu telling damo baba and he informing sav aai may show a change in her and manav be relived and have peace for some time. I just want his peace these days that too wih some wish on my part in it where I wish archu being the cause for it Embarrassed.  Whenever you bring  a scene of Manav smile and the cuteness and shy mannerisms of him ,it brings a smile on my face...


But After reading Lunzi's post, yes she had a point. Like how Manav was thinking and didnt like the fact just because of his illness archu had returned,
The same just because of this sav aai and sachin turning for good and coming in terms will not go well na...


That too the way you wrote the scene in this part where Manav brings in the food and sav aai reaction on it , the emotions flown thro, showed still  they both have the affection for each other and surely gives a belief and trust that without this news being informed, they can come on terms with sav aai showing the remorse...  Apart the trust on them,as swati said we trust you that you always give us pleasure and feel too good in reading your parts.

So I to wish to see like Atya coming in and none of the others be informed about this.
some what the circumstance change ,they come on terms and then this news being revealed where Damo ,Atya  and archu helping manav.


Ok, Nikki, I started the post to write a simple 4 lines but ended up writing big...
Oh dont know when I will overcome this habit of  writing long posts always.
I ended up in long posts always Embarrassed


Nikki, sorry if it  as bored you...




Edited by umayal - 11 December 2011 at 8:48am

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lunza

wow , vedant and vandu got so much of "screen time " in this part ...
till now they were in the background ... now i feel like i know them a bit more .. esp vedant .. first time you have made him talk so much .. lol ... Yes, I think this is the first time I gave him so many dialogues...  basically from the beginning I wanted to portray him as a studious and quiet person, (though he did take part in the sibling banter with Sachin sometimes) there were frequent references as to how Sachin had to drag him out to play cricket, reading till late at night etc. Even in this part, he didn't really speak till Manav asked him to share his views. Plus very frankly speaking, our focus wasn't on him a lot earlier..LOL..now him and Vandu have a role to play in the story since all the action is at Deshmukh house!
i said vedant might turn out be manav part 2 .. still feel that way ... i really like vedant and vandu !!!

you know , till now , you have kinda clubbed them together .. referring them to as twins or kids ... so i was beginning to feel both would even hold the same opinions about the things happening around them ..that you would probably not pay much attention to both of them individually , if you know what i mean ... it was nice to see that both see things differently .. nice touch there niki !!!Thanks! The characters of all 4 Deshmukh children are meant to be different from each other, but they all love each other and that is to be their binding force. More on this will come up ahead.

and oh , you have got me excited about the ganesh chaturti celebrations and games ... antakshari , dance etc .. will you describe all that in the later parts ? ...Yes I will be writing about it, but I myself do not know in how much detail. Let's see..
you are pucca writing the archu-vandu thing na ? i mean archu helping out vandu with the dance ? ,... i so wanna see them bond Yes, Archu Vandu bonding together will come up ahead... basically how Archu bonds with each member will come up- we all know that is the key to Manav's heart.Wink

...

and oh , i loved the scenes between manav and savita .. be it them shouting at each other .. or manav later apologising to her and coaxing her to eat ...
i really imagined ushaji in the scene ...
i guess i havent told this before .. waise kehne ki zaroorat nahi hai .. its kinda understood i guess . that i too see the actors in my head when i read your FF ... ankita , sushant , ushaji  , prarthana etc ...

today i was visualising ushaji and sushant in my head .. .. they would have totally rocked the scenes .. they have such good mom-son chemistry ...
did they have any such scene in the show ? of manav coaxing her to eat ? Hmm... I don't remember it if there was one... but I do know there was no scene in which they fought and LATER he coaxed her to eat... I would have loved to see such a scene.

and tee hee .. even i giggled reading that scene of manav closing his eyes tightly ... lol ... and to think this guy was accused by everyone of frequenting brothels and cheating on his wife ... LOLLOLLOL

oh god !!!! *smacks my head* ... i should have guessed it was dharmesh ... how could i not ? i was thinking jaywant or DK !!!

i know dharmesh wont turn negative in your FF .. so i already like him ... i was seeing sumit arora sumit arora lol ...

hmm .. so archu has told damo .. and now .. everyone will know? i dont know .. not able to decide whether i like this twist or not ...
i mean , i knew this would happen sooner or later ... but i thought .. a bit later ... like manav i too didnt want sachin and savita feeling sorry for him .. and hence coming back to support him ...
i thought you might calm things down a bit between savita-manav and savita-sachin first...
wanted both savita and sachin to admit their mistakes first , and apologize to manav...

but i guess .. you wanted to now show damo taking charge for a change ? and hence used this opportunity ? ...

waiting to see how you take things from here ... Yup, you will have to wait cos I don't want to give away this part..Big smile

ah , the ray of hope ... of manav turning "rich" .. i guess it has already started ? i liked how dharmesh has entered the story ... Yes it has- not completely but yes, somewhat!Big smile

Oh btw .. you said you have a backstory on lot of people .. and you said you said you have something on the kids too ? Some of it was in this part, you see the storm rising in the kids heart about things going on in the house? And if you read between the lines where Vedant is concerned, you might just catch it!Wink

did you mean this part .. ? and will sachin come back now .. knowing about manav's illness ? i dont think i would like that ... i wanted him to come back without knowing about manav's condition..I won't disclose this one now. Keep guessing!Big smile



Originally posted by lunza

oohhh .. just read your reply to shovana ... so atya is back ! Big smile 
will soon be!



Edited by nikitagmc - 11 December 2011 at 7:23pm

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by suan

Hi Nikita,
I loved these parts, which I'm sure you know I would. Smile
In the first part, I loved the tender moments between Arman in the kitchen.The way Manav looks at her and what he's thinking while he looks at her, is so tender. I loved the scene where Archana stops by the garage and quietly waits for Manav to finish his work, so that they can walk home together.
 
I loved how you described the way Archana held on to Manav's arm as they walked home. The way Archana stood up to Savita was heartwarming. A sign of her growth as a character. Probably, over time, Savita will be influenced by the new Archana, and will herself change.
 
The moment when Arman do the aarti together...very touching indeed. Reminded me of the scene in PR, when they did the aarti together at the D's house. That was very moving too.
 
I really loved the bedroom scene in the second part. Our dear Manav was so shy.Blushing  The way he sees Archana...beautifully described. Archana's continued genuine concern for his health is adorable yet so real.
 
I hope Archana taking Baba into her confidence regarding Manav's health will bear fruit in a positive way. He sure needs eveyones support now. I think Vedant is so cute and mischievous. A perfect foil for Vandita. I see the beginnings of a great bonding between Archana and Vandita.
 
Dharmesh sure seems the complete opposite to his PR character! He was so courteous to Manav. Am eagerly waiting to see how he impacts the story.
 
Great going again Nikita! Looking forward to the next installment and all the best for your exams. God bless!

Hi Di!

Oh yes, I knew you would like all the ArMan scenes. Big smile

The aarti scene was inspired from a number of scenes in the show, cos Manav Archana always ended up doing aarti together, whether they wanted it or not!LOL I thought, let them do it willingly now.Big smile I always liked their subtle scenes more.

Many more aspects of ArMan's relationship will come up in the parts ahead.


Edited by nikitagmc - 11 December 2011 at 7:31pm

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 8:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Athena.

Thank you Niki, once again, for such a great and long update! I must confess, at the end of subpart 1 I was so upset I had already finished reading. Then I saw there was still 2 to read and I got so happy lolLOL. I actually laughed at myself. ------LOLLOLLOL

Anywaaay.. this was lovely! Great play on words, symbolism, characterisation! I especially liked the part when Manav tells himself that he has to return to normal life and stop overthinking. Then he sees Archana - their moment together brought him back to real life and as he leaves he begins overthinking again. This is a perfect situation to show why he needs Archana REALISTICALLY - she tries to bring balance into his life.Yup! Manav is under too much stress at the moment, and as he said once before, just someone saying that things will get alright DOESN'T drive tensions away, HOW they will get alright is what Manav is concerned with. Many people are satisfied more by solutions that by words. At such a time, Archana---- with her easy nature which can make him smile, and yet her ability to be strict at times, coupled with the emotional bond she shares with him--- is what he needs to constantly help in maintaining the right frame of mind.

I wish this is really how they had portrayed Archana and Manav in the show. These characters are so real! Whenever I was Pavitra Rishta, I have to convince myself that perhaps somewhere in this world there is someone like Archana/Manav, because otherwise I just can't imagine how these people could exist lol. I mean like you said, there is being GOOD then there is FOOLISH. 

This is so random but I giggled when I read "ignore the karanjkars in the background" LOL LOL. I don't know what's funny about that but it really is for me. And I laughed at the bit Savita called her "Archana Karanjkar" - I totally took your advice and ignore the K word. Please don't feel bad at this; you have an amazing way with words and you write so eloquently but I just have to point out that it will sound better to say " _____ and I" rather than "I and ____" (e.g. Baba and I...). I also believe it is more grammatically correct :)Yes you are right, '______ and I' is grammatically correct. I will go back and search where I wrote it. And no, I didn't feel bad at all, so don't worry!Big smile

OK, so I am at the point where I ask you to update soon. Except.. you must know that humans have a bad habit... we always complain.. even if you give us lots we keep wanting more.. and here your updates are getting longer and I'm getting more greedy. So please understand that I can't be some Archana/Manav[as portrayed on TV] & bless me with another long update soon! Hmm... I can provide an update as long as one subpart really quickly. But if I have to write something as long as three parts, its gonna take some time. Let's see how I go about it.

Originally posted by Athena.

OMG I forgot to talk about Vedant, Vandita and Dharmesh! To be honest, you made me feel really guilty. I remember sometimes I used to think 'why can't they speak up a bit?' (after all they are Savita's kids) and I completely gave them a backseat until you brought them out in this update. I completely understand the adult-or-kid confusion lol, I've asked my parents the same Qns (I bet everyone does)!Big smileNatural problem in teenage!  Love the brothers defying Vandu to dance on Munni/Sheila haha.. and the way Vedant & Vandu are different is nice. Neither are wrong in their place. 

Although, perhaps unconsciously on your part, I do wonder why it is Vandu - the girl - being the one who understands the mother and Vedant - the boy - putting more focus on his studies. I know I am just over thinking and making useless, baseless comments -___-There was no gender based reason as such for showing it this way (I didn't even notice it till you pointed it out to me, lol)  actually from the time I wrote the story, I always showed Vedant as most studious in the D house, and Vandita, like all other characters, was kept similar to how she was in the serial (though younger) -chirpy and emotional (and one who didn't support Archana initially after police complaint) so it was a natural way their characters would have reacted. Of course there are other reasons, they will come up as the story unfolds. Come to think of it, yes it does look stereotypical to an extent, but nothing can be done now, hain na? 

Dharmesh: what do I say about him? When I read his name I had to check that I did not dream about the Vaishu-Tarun jodi once! I have to sit on the fence with this character. I think there is scope for him to turn negative - as he did in the TV show. Nice to know that he is confident in his business and that he is providing high quality spare parts, according to Manav, but that one comment about Dharmesh coming prepared to load off the parts in one go makes me feel uneasy :/ Hehe! Dharmesh is a shrewd businessman who will get what he wants any whichever way! What else to say! (Arey wah that rhymes!)

Now, I must really go. Thank you again for a wonderful read. It really shows that you have put lots of thoughts behind every word you say! :) Thanks for the feedback too. You analysed it all very nicely.


Edit: DAMN, I forgot to add one more thing! I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really (I actually typed every really without copy paste so this proves how much I REALLYYY) believe Baba will turn it all around this time. [In real, I believe in you more than Baba and looking at how you have been dealing with all the issues so far I have full faith that Baba will turn a new leaf]. Also, Baba really takes pride in the person Manav has become and he feels that Manav, his most respected son, doesn't believe enough in him to share his difficulties. This must feel like a big blow to him - I feel this is a huge punishment and this consequence could be enough to help him leave alcohol and move forward in life. After all Bappa has come home, he will surely spread happiness. Damo Baba would be glad to see someone having so much faith on him for a change.LOL Hope he lives upto it!Big smile




Edited by nikitagmc - 11 December 2011 at 8:05pm

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lunza

wait a minute .. now i am having doubts ..

are you going to show that ... baba tells atya about manav's condition and calls her for helping out .. but does not tell about his illness to any other deshmukh ?

uff .. you are right ... lots of scope for guesswork ...
please dont make us wait for two months again ...

and why the hell is it just two sub parts ?.. I got used to three ... Unhappy

Now to compensate .. I demand four sub parts next time... Evil Smile  ...

ok .. just kidding .. LOL As I wrote to Athena, this is what I'm wondering now, whether to make it in two quick updates (which had been my original plan), or one long update which would take more time to write out...

Originally posted by moon_mine

read both the parts...n both were fab!!!!
loved manav n archana's relationship...the way manav is supporting archana is too good!!!!

Thanks moon_mine! There's lots more to come!

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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Swati_

 Nikki Hug
I loved , loved , loved this part . I was trying to say it in a different way but alas! could not find a better way Ouch I feel very repetitive typing the same sentence Ouch Say it in French next time!LOL Just kidding, I love it every time you say it in whichever way.
 
After reading two subparts i thought you will post the third one , but i guess you were busy with the exams . I always feel bad reading the last line of your update OuchNo I was not busy as such, main reason was that all the issues related to the central theme had come together in this part. As Archu said- "God has given directions, now it is upto us to follow." This part was all about directions, of how the solutions will come about later and how things will get sorted out. (There are multiple clues in this part.) 
 
So finally Ganpati celebrations are on . I loved the way you took care of each and every thing of this festival including the hartalika fast Smile I have always loved SARVAJANIK GANPATISmile I enjoy watching ganpatis and the scenes from my childhood SmileMe too! I always used to participate in the Ganpati celebrations, still do here in the hostel.
 
I loved Savita-Manav scene Smile Like Lunzi , me too can imagine Sushant and Ushaji in this scene Smile Beautifully written Smile I could imagine Manav scolding Savita in his soft yet firm voice, hurt yet strong... How much i wished to see this scene , but , these dumb cv's Dead
Nikki i am happy you did not make Manav rude or completely break relation with her. I am glad Manav still cares for his mother though he is angry Smile The thing i disliked in the show . Me too.Dead 
 
Coming to the kids , Wow !!!!! Vedant is smart Cool I felt he is a mixture os Manav and Sachin. I dont want him to be like Manav Smile I liked the way he was open about his feelings and his AAi's confusing behaviourConfused Awww...i loved him Nikki Smile
Vandu is so innocent . Can completely understand her disliking towards Archu . Hope she accepts her Vahini soon as Archu will be a great support to her Smile
Do kids have a major role in the story further ?Umm major as in... yes, they have roles as important as some of the other supporting characters. There is a limitation though, cos at the end of the day they are young after all.
 
Awww...Me too enjoyed the siblings banter like Archu Smile Both the brothers not allowing her to perform on Munni and Sheila LOL Protective brothers!
Vedant : There are many boys in the chawl LOL   That was so cute Nikki .
Will vandu perform on a arti then ? Will Arman participate as a team for the Antakshari ?
 
Coming to Arman Day Dreaming
I loved each and every scene Smile Manav smiling and  blushing when  Archu praises him was so adorable Day Dreaming So Manav type, My adorable Manav  Hug
Manav closing his eyes and not looking in the mirror LOL  Buddhu kahi ka LOL
I am missing Sushant more after reading you FF OuchSigh! Me too.
 
I hope Archu telling Baba , helps Manav . You want make Damo Baba a useless character in your FF unlike the serial , i trust you Big smile
 
Hm...So atya is back Smile I think now Archu will come to know about Varsha Smile
 
Waiting eagerly for your next installment Smile Hope you get time to do it soon Smile
When are your exams Nikki ?In January I have practical exams.
 
Love you Nikki Smile
 
Oops !!!!Sorry for such a long and boring post Ouch



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Posted: 11 December 2011 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Swati_

 Nikki Hug
I loved , loved , loved this part . I was trying to say it in a different way but alas! could not find a better way Ouch I feel very repetitive typing the same sentence Ouch Say it in French next time!LOL Just kidding, I love it every time you say it in whichever way.
 
After reading two subparts i thought you will post the third one , but i guess you were busy with the exams . I always feel bad reading the last line of your update OuchNo I was not busy as such, main reason was that all the issues related to the central theme (of part 75) had come together in this part. As Archu said- "God has given directions, now it is upto us to follow." This part was all about directions, of how the solutions will come about and how things will get sorted out. (There are multiple clues in this part.) 
 
So finally Ganpati celebrations are on . I loved the way you took care of each and every thing of this festival including the hartalika fast Smile I have always loved SARVAJANIK GANPATISmile I enjoy watching ganpatis and the scenes from my childhood SmileMe too! I always used to participate in the Ganpati celebrations, still do here in the hostel.
 
I loved Savita-Manav scene Smile Like Lunzi , me too can imagine Sushant and Ushaji in this scene Smile Beautifully written Smile I could imagine Manav scolding Savita in his soft yet firm voice, hurt yet strong... How much i wished to see this scene , but , these dumb cv's Dead
Nikki i am happy you did not make Manav rude or completely break relation with her. I am glad Manav still cares for his mother though he is angry Smile The thing i disliked in the show . Me too.Dead 
 
Coming to the kids , Wow !!!!! Vedant is smart Cool I felt he is a mixture os Manav and Sachin. I dont want him to be like Manav Smile I liked the way he was open about his feelings and his AAi's confusing behaviourConfused Awww...i loved him Nikki Smile
Vandu is so innocent . Can completely understand her disliking towards Archu . Hope she accepts her Vahini soon as Archu will be a great support to her Smile
Do kids have a major role in the story further ?Umm major as in... yes, they have roles as important as some of the other supporting characters. There is a limitation though, cos at the end of the day they are young after all.
 
Awww...Me too enjoyed the siblings banter like Archu Smile Both the brothers not allowing her to perform on Munni and Sheila LOL Protective brothers!
Vedant : There are many boys in the chawl LOL   That was so cute Nikki .
Will vandu perform on a arti then ? Will Arman participate as a team for the Antakshari ?
 
Coming to Arman Day Dreaming
I loved each and every scene Smile Manav smiling and  blushing when  Archu praises him was so adorable Day Dreaming So Manav type, My adorable Manav  Hug
Manav closing his eyes and not looking in the mirror LOL  Buddhu kahi ka LOL
I am missing Sushant more after reading you FF OuchSigh! Me too.
 
I hope Archu telling Baba , helps Manav . You want make Damo Baba a useless character in your FF unlike the serial , i trust you Big smile
 
Hm...So atya is back Smile I think now Archu will come to know about Varsha Smile
 
Waiting eagerly for your next installment Smile Hope you get time to do it soon Smile
When are your exams Nikki ?In January I have practical exams.
 
Love you Nikki Smile
 
Oops !!!!Sorry for such a long and boring post OuchOh no, it was not boring! I like reading your comments.

Originally posted by Swati_

Nikki wanted to ask you one more thing , do you have the hole FF planned in your head or you plan the story after each update ?The whole FF is pretty much planned in my head. The graph of the characters and the relationships is also planned, so that enables me to give clues/symbolism for tracks ahead (like I'd given clues from as early as ArMan's wedding that that Savita is greedy, manipulative etc. but NOT Manav's enemy. She still loves him) . Many of the important scenes are already planned out and some I create afresh when I write the part.
I remember , you had told us how Arman's consummation scene would be ..The mantras being chanted outside , Arman taking marriage vows again ...Hai na ?----Shocked Swati, not mantras being chanted outside, I said buzz of relatives outside and renowed marital vows. But then again, that was a rough idea at that time (almost 10 months ago when someone asked me in ROTW thread), and I might modify it as required to make the story better.




Edited by nikitagmc - 11 December 2011 at 8:28pm

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