Joined: 01 January 2009
Sleep reigned over the Deshmukh household. After the storm, everything seemed to be settling down slowly.
Archana and Manav too were lying on their bed. Tired of the day's happenings, Manav had succumbed to sleep. Archana however, could not get sleep. A constant thought kept probing her at the back of her mind, no matter how much she tried to ignore it. Lying on her side with her elbow propped under her head, she tried to think about the current situation.
She sighed. Few days ago, things had been bad. But now they were in a much worse state. From every side she and Manav were surrounded with problems- serious problems, and it seemed difficult to figure a way out. Earlier, they had been facing problems only in their marriage, later they had started having problems in finance and health, but now they were facing a backlash from their own family members, from those people whom they had trusted and considered their own- Savita Aai, Manjusha Vahini. They had little support from anyone, and it almost felt as if a part of their identity was being questioned now. To make matters worse, the problems now extended on to everyone- engulfed and suffocated everyone.
Why was God being so unkind to them, Archana wondered. Sometimes people, sometimes circumstances and sometimes fate played spoilsport and destroyed all hopes of a happy life. Who the hell was writing their story?
The more she thought about it, the more she realized- the harassment complaint controversy, Manav- Savita Aai's showdown, splitting of the Deshmukh family, the deep wedge between her parents, Manav and herself- each of them were somehow related to the initial problem- the misunderstandings about Manav and their initial separation. It was THAT which had created a rift at a time when a bond, an acceptance, an understanding should have developed not only between her and Manav but also between HER family and Manav, between the Deshmukhs and herself, between the two families, and so on. The problems they were facing now were merely an aggravated form of the situation which had not been controlled earlier due to the separation. Both sides hated each other enough to not even give a chance to come back together again. And if they weren't even willing to give each other a chance, how could things be reverted back to normalcy?
She sighed to herself. Till the misunderstanding and separation part, the situation had been somewhat manageable. But now, things had simply escalated to another level. They had extended to other relationships- and affected them really badly.
Remembering the issue of the misunderstanding again brought into mind her conversation with Vaishali.. when she had told her that she didn't think Manav could be wrong.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to think about it- not at this time when there were so many bigger issues on hand. But still, the memory remained and refused to go away. She opened her eyes, looking into the darkness, and thought.
When she had come back to Manav, she had come back with the firm intention of forgetting the past- a past which if erased out, could make the future beautiful for both Manav and her, a happy, hopeful, positive future. She was tired of the constant looking into proofs, the endless wait, the disappointment she had to face again and again when her faith broke each time she tried to trust him, and hence had decided to stick to one stand. She had come back with the realization that Manav's goodness meant more to her than his past mistakes- that inspite of what he had done, she still loved him and was more than willing to give him a second chance. She had firmly made up her mind that she would not think about those dreadful memories again and throw them from her life like a rotten tooth.
It was queer therefore, that today she was not only going through those same memories today, but was even questioning her beliefs- questioning something she had accepted bcos of proofs and evidences- questioning whether her Manav could really have cheated her.
And for the first time, her heart told her Manav could not have done it.
It was not the first time though that she had such a feeling. She had felt it earlier too at various occasions, but this faith had been weakened by all evidences and witnesses against him. Each time, her faith had been broken, maybe bcos it had arisen out of emotional feelings, not out of substance. But today morning, for the first time, every argument against Manav seemed pale.
Scenes of Manav apologizing for his Aai's mistakes flashed in front of her eyes. He had been truly ashamed of the way Savita Aai had spoken abusively about her character in public, and hated her for it.
Scenes of Manav accepting that she had been wronged and that his Aai was responsible for it, not hating her but rather understanding how much she had suffered due to his Aai, treating her respectfully and being FAIR inspite of the fact that his Aai had been beaten- those scenes flashed in front of her eyes. He had not even spoken badly about her parents. Any other guy in his place would have unfairly taken the side of his blood family even if they were wrong.
For the first time ever, she had understood this morning, that Manav was NOT the sort of person to accept a character assassination of a girl in public, or see her suffer on this count. He simply did NOT HAVE it in him to be unfair to someone even if the culprits were his own people. The moment today, when he had been ashamed of his Aai's abusive nature towards Archana and her calling Archana a call girl in public, the moment when he had accepted that Archana was not wrong but his Aai was, they had spoken about the kind of person he was. He was a FAIR person who had RESPECT for the character of a woman and understood what it meant to be insulted, abused in public, how much it broke her up mentally, psychologically and emotionally. He was SENSITIVE to all that she had gone through.
Could such a man make an attempt to malign her, break her marriage to another guy by framing her as a prostitute?
Could such a fair person have cheated her at every step with lies and deceit?
Lastly, such a man who had apologized for his Aai's mistakes so honestly, would he not have apologized for his own mistakes if he had cheated her, knowing very well that she was willing to forgive him and give him a second chance?
She shook her head. She didn't feel Manav could have done it. He was too respectful, too decent, too fair- fair to a fault, in fact. He was made up of foolish, honest, fair bones, and he had proved it today by supporting his wife (whom he actually wanted to divorce) in front of his family, even after they had suffered in prison, just bcos she was RIGHT and he was FAIR. No other reason. One could not say that it was a step taken simply out of love for her, bcos if that was so, then Manav loved his family too, and was hurt at all they had to go through in prison. His action had signified his honesty and righteousness.
If this had happened earlier, she might have felt that this was an act by Manav to gain brownie points and look good in her eyes. Before this also, he had fought for her in public when someone had spoken something bad about her, there had been countless examples of his goodness and respect for her, but it had been difficult for her to rely on them totally since people always said that it could have been an act by him to bring her back in the marriage.
But today was different. He had supported her against the people he loved, and that too for a marriage he DID NOT believe in. He was not satisfied for her reasons to come back to him and felt it was only better for her to go away. YET he had supported her. Why would he try to look good in her eyes, if he really wanted her to go away, she reasoned. No, it could not be an act- even if proofs and evidences were against him, she somehow could not believe he was the sort of person who could have cheated her. There HAD to be a deeper dimension in this story. He would not be getting anything by supporting her, since he wanted them to separate anyway- yet he had done so bcos he was just THAT sort of person- fair, reasonable, and sensitive.
This morning realization had only strengthened by the evening revelations, when she had realized that there was a limit to what the eye could see. Sometimes the truth could not be seen, it had to be perceived. Proofs and witnesses could be manipulated many times. Manav and Ajit kept cutting each others' proofs all the time and somehow this matter never ended. She had gone by the words of Manav's Aai and Shravani- thinking that a mother could not lie about her child- she had accepted it that not only was Manav a cheat and a brothel frequenter, but also had a relationship with Shravani. But the events of the evening revealed that Savita Aai had lied. If a mother could lie in such a disgusting way about her son, why could Ajit's witnesses not lie? Why could Ajit not lie? Why could Shravani not lie? What was the guarantee that their blames on Manav were true?
She knew that a good debater could always argue out both sides of the debate and win both sides. She knew that anyone who wanted to find faults with Manav's story could indeed make a case against his Aai's statements- that Manav was angry bcos she had SNEAKED about him and broken his marriage, bcos she had revealed the truth to Archana and so on.. or that maybe Savita herself did not know that her words said in spite were actually the truth, since a good son like Manav must have done all this on the sly so as to maintain his image in front of his family members. Anyone who WISHED to point out mistakes could find out a 100 mistakes in the whole scenario.
But somehow, she was not convinced. Just remembering Manav's anger, Aai's bewilderment, his silent mourning of their now-dead relationship- everything told her that all this could not be false. Aai had LIED on PURPOSE, and Manav was hurt by it- that was all she could see and understand about the scenario. That was it. But she knew that these were her feelings. The rest of the people would not agree with her.
She sighed. This whole thing was a never ending issue- she thought. Relying on material evidences and words of other people to find who the culprit was not right in this scenario, nor was it right to use it as a base for trusting someone in the long run- ethically, and in rare occasions like this one- practically too- cos proofs and witnesses could be MANIPULATED. Trusting a person in a relationship had to be for reasons above this, better than this. Just like a marriage had to stand on the right reasons of trust, respect, love and understanding; trust in a relationship as sacred as matrimony too, had to be based on the right reasons, not material evidences like proof.
She had often thought on what consideration was she supposed to 'trust'? Repeatedly Manav and Ajit had asked her to trust them. She had often thought about how trust could be built. Was she supposed to blindly trust someone just because she was married to him, to keep up the sanctity of the relationship and the mangalsutra, which unfortunately did not induce any trust magically the moment it was worn? Or was she supposed to be logical and go by proofs and evidences, the trail of events as she had done till now- as a police case might proceed? OR was she supposed to go by the one whom she had known for a longer period of time and was part of the family- in this case Ajit?
She had often thought of her parents too, about what they would have done if such a dilemma had arisen in front of them, and had often been forced to think that such a situation would probably never have occurred between her parents. Being married for almost 30 years, her parents knew each other inside out. They understood each other, and hence could judge whether to trust or not when a particular accusation was made. The trust in their relationship hadn't come magically simply because they were married, but rather because living so many years together, they had UNDERSTOOD each other to the core. THIS was the basis of their trust. In fact THIS was the basis of trust in any kind of relationship- this understanding, this feeling of knowing a person so deeply. That was the reason Archana herself would doubt Varsha if someone told her tales of Varsha lying at home to attend a party, but would not believe tales of Varsha lying at home to frolic outside with a boy. This sense of understanding of exactly what Varsha was capable of doing and would do, and what to believe in, came from a thorough understanding of her character- that she was one who told harmless lies to have some fun, but was not one who could forget family values and sanskars.
Manav too judged her in this manner only. He had not thought for even a moment that she could have made the police complaint against him, there he had trusted her. Why?- cos he felt she was too softhearted to ever hurt anyone even if he/she deserved it. But he had not trusted her when she had said she had come back forever- reason- he felt she was emotionally vulnerable. That is why he could safely say that his trust was not blind trust- rather it came from an assessment of her character since he had silently observed her for almost 2 and a half years now. It wasn't anything that could be explained- it was simply something one grasped over a period of time as one came to know a person, and which kept improving and increasing with time.
She had known for a long time how important understanding in a relationship was. She had often wondered whether she too could claim that she understood Manav enough to judge without proofs whether he could have done the heinous act or not, whether she could claim that she understood him well enough to confidently say that he was not the culprit just bcos she 'knew he couldn't have done it' inspite of 100 proofs presented to her saying the contrary?
Earlier, each time she had asked this question to herself, she had had to accept that the answer was a NO. She had lived with Manav for barely 2 weeks, after that they had stayed away. They barely met fo half an hour everyday in the last 4-5 months, and although she had known Manav's qualities well based on his reaction to events, yet she had not been able to claim that she knew him well enough to determine confidently whether stories of his past were true or not. For instance- she had accepted that he was a nice, gentle man, but had never been able to speak confidently of some other deeper aspects of his life- his sexual habits, his getaways, whether he could have cheated her to achieve her, whether he loved her THAT madly to have taken a wrong step for her and so on. In the past she had not trusted him in spite of his goodness since people had often told her that even his goodness could have been an act to convince her to return back. That was the reason she had gone along the proofs and whatever little assessment of his character she could make (based on the trail of events and his reaction to them), and judged that he was a person who had had a bad past (as the proofs suggested) but yet was a person with a heart of gold who dearly loved her (as her interaction with him especially after signing divorce papers had led her to think).
But things were different today.
Today, for the first time, she felt she knew him well. Quite well in fact, well enough to think and feel that he did not have it in him to cheat her or anyone else. Inspite of staying with him for barely two weeks and spending so little time with him all these months, for the first time today, she felt she knew him quite well.
And that is bcos more than time, it is often the weakest moments, the lowest phase of a person, his reaction to his failure and disappointment and his behavior in his TESTING TIMES that help one TRULY understand the character of a person. Anyone could be kind, honest, fair or virtous when they were happy, prosperous and rich- when they could AFFORD to be 'GOOD', when they did not have to face any personal loss in terms of happiness, relations or wealth when they tried to be 'good'. But those who maintained these qualities even during the lows or testing times or in the challenges in their life or at the cost of their own relations, happiness and future, were the ones who truly deserved to be complimented as such, just like the story of Karna in the Mahabharata, who in pain and on his deathbed in the battlefield of Kurukshetra, had broken his golden tooth and given it to the Lord disguised as beggars- even at that time, he had kept up his generosity and is therefore remembered till date. Challenges, adversities and testing times brought out the true character of a person better than anything else could. A man who maintained the essence of his character even then, was truly a man to be appreciated. There was no other bigger and better test of character.
All that Manav had gone through, had ended up as a test of his character. It had led her to understand what sort of a person he was. It had led her to understand that he was the sort of person who had accepted that his own blood was wrong, despite his sympathy for what his family had suffered in prison, and had understood what she had gone through emotionally and psychologically, and supported HER, defended HER- and all this at a time when he DID NOT want this marriage. His personal disinterest or lack of faith in their marriage, his love and devotion for his family and his anger at the humiliation they had gone though- all three combined had NOT been able to cloud his judgement of right and wrong, or his anguish of what Archana had to go through. It had made her ask herself many questions- questions which had been brimming in her head ever since Manav had held her hand this morning and had slowly comforted her, instead of turning her away in rage as another person who had seen his Aai getting hit in jail would have.
If he had really cheated her in the past and committed grave errors, would he not have apologized, at SOME point of time, in the same way as he had openly and frankly apologized for HIS AAI's mistakes today morning?
If he had really wanted her so bad, so as to cheat her, malign her and force her into marrying him, then why did he now ask her to go back consistently saying that this marriage had no future cos she had come back for emotional reasons, which would not stand the test of time? Why no emphasis to love now, why this question of right and wrong?
The words spoken by his Aai about Manav's character had broken his heart, hurt him enough to break relations with her forever. Could that anger, that fury be false? She had no doubts that her parents would debate that it could have been a sympathy act. But this was a contradiction! Why would he want sympathy when he anyway wanted her to go?
Proofs be damned, witnesses be damned, conclusions by researching the trail of events be damned- her heart told her strongly- Manav was NOT guilty of any wrong. He had not cheated her.
Somehow she just could not bring herself to feel he could be wrong. Manav isn't guilty of any wrong-she told herself again and again. I KNOW that he hasn't done it. He is simply NOT the sort of person to wrong someone like that, or make a joke of a girl's character in public. Rather, he is the sort who would question his Aai when SHE character assassinated a girl in public, fight for HER, even when he had no personal interest in it. He COULD NEVER have left her in a brothel and tried to frame her.
She sat for sometime, letting the thought sink more deeply into her head, when suddenly a few words spoken by Manav, her parents, Vinod Dada and others came back in her mind.
It was as if someone had thrown cold water over all the ideas which had been brimming through her head. She opened her eyes suddenly, trying to think again with a clear mind.
No- she shook her head. She still couldn't feel Manav could have cheated her. She somehow did not feel he was the sort of person who could have done it. The judgement she had done a few minutes back, persisted and refused to go away, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, that maybe she was being emotional volatile and impulsive as Manav often told her she was, maybe she was edging towards Manav again due to sympathy and so on..
Another nasty thought crept in her mind, something Manav had told her..
"If tomorrow Ajit shows you some more proofs, you will again go back.."
She shuddered with horror. She remembered how she had felt last time when she had almost come to the point of trusting Manav and then had been proved wrong. She had felt disgusted- not only with him, but also with herself. Inspite of her feelings for him, she had felt disgusted enough to sign divorce papers.
If she was proved wrong again.. ? Wouldn't all those old memories- which she had tried hard to forget- come in again and make it difficult for her to accept Manav back, like she was doing right now?
She groaned and turned into her pillow, weeping to herself. THIS was the reason she had wanted to forget everything- bcos everytime this issue cropped up and she explored it, it left her wounded and unhappy. She had wanted to live her life with Manav, and ignoring the past was a small price to pay for it. She should have done that, rather than again getting into the thoughts of whether he was innocent or not.
But somehow it was not possible now. The thought had come into her mind- Manav just didn't seem like the wrong person. The hope had come up, and she was getting increasingly tempted to follow her intuition this time. If he was innocent, the truth needed to be brought out - he deserved an apology from EVERYONE. She herself would not be able to live in the confusion of whether she had wronged him at one point- the guilt would be there forever.
The turmoil was- Was it better to get adjusted to the darkness and live in it lifelong, or was it better to go and seek the light, knowing very well that after that she may not be able to live in darkness again, if forced to return.
She thought and thought- what were the chances of Manav being innocent? Pretty high- was the immediate answer. He really wasn't the person who could do it, she felt, going through everything again. He had said a number of times that Ajit had manipulated things. Maybe it was true, she thought. If Aai could lie, why could Ajit not lie? He was no saint- at one point, he too had cheated her friend and another girl by double crossing and marrying for money. But Manav did have impeccable character which had been proved over time, not by proofs but by his own actions. If she had to chose one amongst Ajit and Manav, whom would she choose?
She didn't have to think for long. Manav, she thought. Manav was right, Ajit was wrong- that was it. If she still had doubts, the coming days would help her overcome it, as she came to observe Manav from close quarters and understand him better.
But something did not gel.
She could not ignore what Manav had told her about Varsha- he had told that he had lost proofs against Ajit when he had been trying to help Varsha and send her to Delhi. He had claimed Varsha was lying about London and instead was in Delhi.
THIS was the part where she was confused. She could believe it that Ajit could have lied and manipulated things, but Varsha.. her own sister?
She had herself told about being in London. She called from there. She had not come to Vaishali's engagement for this reason. If, going by Manav's story, she was really in trouble and was not in London but in Delhi, then why did she not call even once to tell her, Archu tai, to testify for his story and bring an end to problems between Manav and her? Varsha would have never taken the matter so frivolously when she knew how strained things between her and Manav were. Why had she trusted Manav, but not called even one family member and told them the whole story?
She thought again. She had no doubts that she STILL felt Manav could not have done it, and that Ajit, Savita Aai and others had manipulated the situation, but it was the Varsha story which confused her, simply bcos she knew Varsha in and out, even better than she knew Manav. Or rather, it was the Varsha story about which she needed to know more, if she really wanted to understand the truth. Maybe there were some explanations due here.. some things that she needed to know more clearly.
The only thing she pondered over was whether she ought to go on the path to seek the truth, or doubt herself bcos people had ridiculed her ideas repeatedly. Was it even right to try and find the truth at THIS time, when damage control of bigger problems was more important than some past misunderstandings?
She did not know. A sleepless night was in store for her, she realized. One thing she was sure of, though- till she did not reach a stability in her thoughts and come to some sort of decision, she wouldn't say anything to Manav.
(End of part 73- yes, FINALLY!)
Hello everyone! A few words from me about this part.
This part is very special to me for many reasons. In the beginning, I was very nervous when people said part 72 ruined the story, and even thought of rewriting it using a different twist. But then I decided to stick to the line of thought using which I had written the story till here.
Anyhow, this part is special to me bcos it shows all those scenes which I always longed to see in PR but never got. They include:
1.) A proper confrontation and clarification of the abuse situation and Manav being made aware of everything. It was incorporated loosely in the serial and left midway. Manav and the Deshmukh family walked away with the sympathy even though Archana was a victim as well.
2.) Manav coming to know everything about what his mother did and her role in breaking his marriage- this aspect NEVER came out in PR the serial till date. How she tricked and separated him and Archana was never shown- in fact by killing Sachin, CV's made her a victim in the serial and reduced her to such a state that even if Manav came to know the truth, he would not have shown anger at his mother.
3.) Manav and Savita's confrontation, fight, and a deeper look into their relationship- some of it came in this part, some of it will come in the next part. (There will be a short flashback)
4.) Lastly- Archana's realization in the end.
I have always felt that Pavitra Rishta tried to ask questions about relationships- it started out with one very important question- the place of trust in a relationship. Of course, it holds a very important place in a relationship, but how does it develop and when should we 'ideally trust'? Is trust supposed to develop like magic when husband and wife get married, and then they should always trust each other blindly?- like many wanted Archana to trust Manav after knowing him for less than two weeks, saying in a relationship you need to trust your partner. Or should one use intellect as well- and give a patient hearing and wait for sufficient proofs and evidence to trust a person?-like Archana did in the beginning? Does that decrease the sanctity of the relationship and make it look materialistic and practical? Or should one simply trust bcos of emotions- that is, just because you love someone should you blindly trust everything he/she does?
In this story I tried to present all this using different situations- Trust needs time to grow, that is true, and hence it is not possible to trust someone after knowing him for such a short while. At the same time, proofs and evidence are not always the ideal things on which trust in a relationship can have a foundation, because they can be manipulated many a times and somewhere the need for proofs questions the relationship in itself. Trusting because of emotions sake is risky- it is more of a weakness actually. The ideal thing is a judgement of character, an assessment of character, and deciding whether to trust or not on the basis of THAT. This understanding however takes time to grow ' as I said, Sulo would not doubt Manohar immediately on seeing his pics with prostitutes- she knows him too well.
In ArMan's case, it was difficult to show something like this, considering they had been married for a very short while, hence in this story, I tried to present it via different difficult situations and how they lead Archana to understand the character of Manav much more easily than years would, like this extremely testing period revealed Manav's qualities openly- he had the strength to admit, in spite of his family's jailing, that HIS Aai was wrong and Archana was not the culprit. He had the strength to apologize for it too, and that too at a time when he did not expect his marriage to survive, thus bringing out his true qualities of fairness and honesty- which makes Archana feel that he is totally incapable of cheating ANYONE cos he has nothing except stupid, honest bones in his body.
My basic intention was to bring round this point- one must not have blind faith, nor should one be solely dependent on proofs in a relationship and make it a police case sort of thing and ruin the sanctity of a relationship- ideal trust comes from an assessment of character of a person and keeping it at the back of a mind, combining it with intellect, emotions and practicality to reach at a decision. The coming few parts will explain how Archana's trust that MANAV CANNOT DO IT will strengthen as she observes him more closely, joins bits of the story and understands him even more better, as she slowly works towards being as good a support system for Manav, as he has been for her till date.
Finally, the reason why I always say the police complaint was the best twist in PR- I always saw a lot of potential in this track in relation to the story and character progression- but what I liked most was that it brings to mind the immediate thought- 'oh lord, misunderstanding tak toh theek tha, but now everything is over!'- and it would be, in real life. This track interested me bcos at some point I wanted to see ArMan RISING above other normal couples and WINNING where other couples would have lost, normally after so much gone wrong- a normal marriage would not have survived. I wanted to see this marriage surviving. Only that could have justified the vision with which this couple has always been shown in the story- as soulmates, a made for each other couple, a special couple, as a couple having Bappa's divine grace on them and so on. They were shown as one having a 'pavitra rishta', as one who were two real characters which can be identified amongst us, with their own special qualities and flaws, but when they come together, they make a very special couple which complements each other and wins where others would have lost. The challenge here is to show it happening in a believable, real and POSITIVE manner, and I do have help in the way the tracks alongside the police complaint tracks have been devised, along with the fact that both Manav Archana were not involved in the abuse as well as complaint themselves- thus the reunion is my next target to attain.
That was my intention in introducing this twist in the story. I know many didn't like it, but still, just wanted to share my vision.
As I wrote at the beginning of this part- the storm is over now. Yes. Now we shall be moving on to another phase to show how the fairytale that was introduced in the beginning of this story survives reality and wins- we will be back to the day to day life of the Manav and Archana and their attempt to get things back on track, in a manner which ends up building their relationship more.
Awaiting your comments and feedback on this part like always.
And once again, sorry for such a long update, and an even longer rant after it.
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