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PR Reloaded- II (FF) Note on pg. 76- do read! (Page 24)

nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
nikitagmc
nikitagmc

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Posts: 16164

Posted: 29 August 2011 at 1:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by abhilasha_dream

nikki I hope u will not go off to another month vactaion after this fabulous update... I like this update as its logical.

This is one rare comment. Big smile thankyou!!! 

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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 5:17pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nikitagmc


In your FF, I loved the scene u set witht eh original PR characters and the original PR plot.  Most of all, I loved how you managed to keep the storyline pure, intriguing and simple marital story without the vitriol that Ekta's storylines contain.  Very down to earth and relatable.

Ekta's PR got destroyed for me with the beating for the Ds. It was unreasonably cruel and harsh for the simple story that it had started out to be. I liked how you handled and incorporated Shravani's involvement but I was lost reading this update.

I know you will make your best efforts to rescue the protagonists inspite of this plot but somehow this part now makes this FF feel more like Ekta's PR than Nicki's PR.  Any marital compromise after this will now have the same effect that Ekta's reunion did after divorce. an imbalanced effort.

Actually Hope, I always wrote this story aiming to show the journey of a lower middle class married couple, two people who come together with their own baggage of problems for each other- the boy has a dysfunctional family in which any girl would find difficult to adjust, the girl has the shadow of an evil person hounding her, Ajit, who resolves to leave no stone unturned in wrecking her life, which affects her husband too. Both are not really advantageous for each other if you see it that way.

I wanted it to show it as a journey of their little sorrows and joys, testing times and victories, difficulties and how they fight them and in this process, their relationship evolves, and so do their characters.

To do this, I tried to incorporate issues a lower middle class couple could face.

Niki I guess that is where my disappointment sets in.  Your FF was always realistic and relatable till now.  What happened between Savita and Archana was typical saas-bahu nok jhok. it is not nice but is life. The feminist movement is all well and good until you end up living in a joitn family set up willingly or for lack of choice.  Then the feminist movement goes down the drain and survival instincts kick in. you become more tolerant and learn to pick the battles you fight and choose to win.  I know many many many women who face this underserved rivalry with their MIL for their son's affections.   FIling police complaint for such a common though distasteful reason is extreme and highly unrealistic.  While a character like Manjusha might do this with the intent of police brutality being a satisfactory outcome if not public humiliation at the least, characters as extreme as Manjusha are too rude an interruption in a beautiful love story.  I had hoped that this part would cover the dynamics of their limbo relationship.

Niki, no marriage recovers from such a brutal experience. I can assure you of this in reality. you only take such a drastic step as the Ks and you only allow such a drastic step to go unchalleged as Archana does when you are sure you have burnt all your bridges and there is no going back to sasural. coming back home with him was not nearly enough.  It is an aggravator for an innocent victim not a step towards reconciliation of any sort. You are a constant reminder of the undeserved brutality and humiliation that can never be reversed or forgotten. Even Ekta realized this that is why in the show it was shown that Manav refuses to be consoled by Archana and in fact tyaags her. that was a normal reaction for once in an Ekta show. it was not too dramatic but very realistic.

FYI,  Archana was harassed not abused by Savita.  The treatment meted out in the show could be considered by even creative and vindictive minds as a just retribution for abuse but not harassment, I think.This I don't know. I based the story upon the understanding from the numerous discussions on the forum and later with Kools.

I explained myself above. so will not say more here.

Archana's harassment in Ekta's show and your FF was enabled by her own silence and acquiciense of Savita's actions. She did not cause them or deserve them but she did not discourage them or curb them either.   True that Archana's silence caused her to suffer. But that does not absolve Savita of treating her badly. I just wanted to show her as someone real- someone who is scared of it at first and does not know how to react or talk to her newly wed husband about it, not knowing if he would support her. But she did make an attempt to curb it- she asked Shravani (who worked with her at the NGO earlier) for help and what she was supposed to do. Unfortunately Shravani succumbed to her selfish desires and misguided Archana.

there are other ways with less damaging effect on an already faltering marriage to show this I guess.  like word leaking from manjusha to prospective grooms for the other siblings or  word leaking to Manav himself. Her harrassment was something that should have been dealt with through societal shame as opposed to police brutality or the legal system.   A senior citizen who uses words and a harsh tone to harass someone gets beaten up with lathis to prove a point of poetic justice.  imbalanced in my opinion.

Similarily, I didn't want to make Archana a Jhansi ki Rani in one day. I had thought of showing this change gradually in the story- starting from being scared, then slightly tactical, then taking little bold steps, and so on. She was slightly tactical in part 71, and took the first little bold step in this part (in the end)

I agree. Overnight transformation will not happen but second guessing every decision will happen.  She was very firm that she did not want to do anything against Manjusha. that is not someone who is second guessing. that is someone who came back for the wrong reasons and still lacks the commitment that she thinks she came with.  she still disappointments.  Now she has decided to listen to a total stranger over the husband she regrets abandoning and who is now suffering for her own neverending silence. 

Archana was not beaten physically because of Savita yet Savita and the Ds were beaten physically becasue of Archana.  A distinct imbalance.  She may have not been beaten, but the way Savita went about shouting in front of all her neighbours that she was a prostitute is enough horror to any girl to do the unthinkable. (I did not incorporate the scenes in detail in the FF cos we have already seen them in the show)

Savita got what she deserved. The imbalance occured for Manav, who got punished for no mistake- this I accept.

I still disagree and I am a married woman who has lived in a joint family and been exposed to strife involved repeatedly. So is Kools. 

I explain why above.

So can one assume that one such scene would lead to another retribuion scene where Sulochana and the entire Ks are arrested and beaten viciously for harassing Manav and Manav refuses to support Archana and claim he was not abused/ harassed upon the advice of a NGO? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?????? Sorry Hope, mujhe yeh samajh nahi aya.Confused Ks did not harass him. And are there any such laws for males in the country if they are harassed?  

Sulo has harassed Manav in exactly the same depth as Archana has been harassed by Savita.  Manav did something about it while Archu did not that is why Manav appears less of a victim compared to Archana. 

Before I left India in 1999 there was a society that protected men that were battered husbands. It is a social stigma that is not as widely known because of the feminist movement.  It does exist.  The problem is that global women's movements have ensure that rights of wives are preserved or given a certain importance but no such support is shown for battered men or husbands in developing countries which are patriarchial in nature. it will be source of embarrasment. 

In the west, both husbands and wives have their rights protected against harassment and abuse. In the case of harassment you don't imprison the spouse unless there is intent of bodily harm. you do however get a restraining order that is legally enforced.  it is when there is actual physcial abuse that there is imprisonment.  here, manjusha would not have been let go based on "good intent".  she would have had to prove abuse (mental or physical) before anyone was arrested and she could be arrested for falsifying a complaint and sued in civil court for punitive damages for defamation of character and physical and emotional trauma. savita and manav would have won easier than manjusha would have got off. the solution for such harassment is divorce not imprisonment.



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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
just a thought -  I hope it is helpful in the future if you ever decide to pursue creative writing as a parallel occupation freelance.  you never know you could be a consulting doctor and an author like Rowling.

love stories and social dramas are two distinct genres because they appeal to two distinct audiences - one emotional that derives entertainment from flights of fancy and the other practical that derives entertainment from a utopian pursuit of values.   of course there is always an overlap where people can enjoy both genres in a single plot but this requires the bulk of your audience to be in that overlap area - it also helps if you precondition the audience with hints of the social element i.e. a strong or determined female lead can be a preconditioning for twists to come.  like in Pratigya.  romance and women's emancipation both hinted at for the audience.

I remember watching Monsoon Wedding - a wonderful movie. it was about an arranged marriage that turned into a pleasant love story but they unexpectedly threw in the twist of pedophilia and social stigma for child victims. it was too sudden and killed the fragile romantic connection with the audience.  I read the user reviews - they all had one common theme. they loved the romance but were unprepared for the social twist. there were requests to the service provider to change the category of the movie as it had appeared in their search for light romance or easy romance or something like that.
nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
nikitagmc
nikitagmc

Joined: 01 January 2009
Posts: 16164

Posted: 29 August 2011 at 6:37pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by --Hope--

Originally posted by nikitagmc





Niki, no marriage recovers from such a brutal experience. I can assure you of this in reality. you only take such a drastic step as the Ks and you only allow such a drastic step to go unchalleged as Archana does when you are sure you have burnt all your bridges and there is no going back to sasural. coming back home with him was not nearly enough.  It is an aggravator for an innocent victim not a step towards reconciliation of any sort. You are a constant reminder of the undeserved brutality and humiliation that can never be reversed or forgotten. Even Ekta realized this that is why in the show it was shown that Manav refuses to be consoled by Archana and in fact tyaags her. that was a normal reaction for once in an Ekta show. it was not too dramatic but very realistic.

I understand that Hope, and I wanted to deal with that in the next part, not this one.




I agree. Overnight transformation will not happen but second guessing every decision will happen.  She was very firm that she did not want to do anything against Manjusha. that is not someone who is second guessing. that is someone who came back for the wrong reasons and still lacks the commitment that she thinks she came with.  she still disappointments.  Now she has decided to listen to a total stranger over the husband she regrets abandoning and who is now suffering for her own neverending silence.  
Hope, there have been reasons for each of these decisions. I cannot go into details, but I had a reason behind everything and I stated them in the FF too.




Sulo has harassed Manav in exactly the same depth as Archana has been harassed by Savita.  Manav did something about it while Archu did not that is why Manav appears less of a victim compared to Archana.  

Before I left India in 1999 there was a society that protected men that were battered husbands. It is a social stigma that is not as widely known because of the feminist movement.  It does exist.  The problem is that global women's movements have ensure that rights of wives are preserved or given a certain importance but no such support is shown for battered men or husbands in developing countries which are patriarchial in nature. it will be source of embarrasment. 

In the west, both husbands and wives have their rights protected against harassment and abuse. In the case of harassment you don't imprison the spouse unless there is intent of bodily harm. you do however get a restraining order that is legally enforced.  it is when there is actual physcial abuse that there is imprisonment.  here, manjusha would not have been let go based on "good intent".  she would have had to prove abuse (mental or physical) before anyone was arrested and she could be arrested for falsifying a complaint and sued in civil court for punitive damages for defamation of character and physical and emotional trauma. savita and manav would have won easier than manjusha would have got off. the solution for such harassment is divorce not imprisonment.

But what harassment Hope? Harassment in what sense? Someone showed fake proof, and Sulochana took away her daughter for safety. After that she or her family never mingled or did anything to him. They only aimed to keep Archu safe. That is it. They did not pester him with a single piece of unnecessary demand or anything. It was Manav who was hell bent in proving his innocence and got involved.

Plus, this is India Hope, so obviously I tried to frame the story around Indian laws. I know things are different in West.

I know there is battered husbands society, what I meant to say is if there were some special laws about them. Not that I consider Manav battered, actually.


Thanks for commenting Hope. 

I have nothing more to say. I tried to extract as much information as I could, and made up the story the way I perceived it. Now that it looks wrong to many of you I simply don't know what to do at this point. I guess even comments and likes are less this time cos many of you got disgusted by this part., even the regular readers. 

I need time to settle myself first and think and think and rethink and rethink some more.

And guys, I take my words back- now I can't say anything about when I will next update. Sorry to everyone.


Edited by nikitagmc - 29 August 2011 at 6:48pm

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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nikitagmc




But what harassment Hope? Harassment in what sense? Someone showed fake proof, and Sulochana took away her daughter for safety. After that she or her family never mingled or did anything to him. They only aimed to keep Archu safe. That is it. They did not pester him with a single piece of unnecessary demand or anything. It was Manav who was hell bent in proving his innocence and got involved.

Did they take her away quietly? No they humiliated the husband. I don't remember if Sulo slapped him in your FF. but I do remember that it was not a quiet affair.  Everytime he was insulted, called a liar and worse names publicly. that is harassment. they forced a divorce on a clearly unwilling girl and harassed him when he tried to reconcile.  It does not appear like harassment because he refused to be victimised inspite of their efforts.  he has been publicly humiliated at every turn with this incident being no exception.  they have even supported silently his harassment by their DIl and their samdhans.  archana acts the victim so it is easy to consider her a harassed victim.  manav does not act the victim even after being physcially tortured so he appears less a victim.  this man who has repeatedlly been victimised is being casually written off as collateral damage for the protection of a woman who choses not to act strongly for her own protection.  two wrongs don't make a right.

I know there is battered husbands society, what I meant to say is if there were some special laws about them.  not to my knowledge for men though what I was trying to say that this was a situation that did not need a legal solution under criminal laws.

Not that I consider Manav battered, actually.   Archu was emotionally harassed and so was Manav. Neither was physically abused.

[/QUOTE]

Thanks for commenting Hope. 

I have nothing more to say. I tried to extract as much information as I could, and made up the story the way I perceived it. Now that it looks wrong to many of you I simply don't know what to do at this point. I guess even comments and likes are less this time cos many of you got disgusted by this part., even the regular readers. 

I need time to settle myself first and think and think and rethink and rethink some more.

And guys, I take my words back- now I can't say anything about when I will next update. Sorry to everyone.
[/QUOTE]
I came on too strong na?  forgive me.
Embarrassed


nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 29 August 2011 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by --Hope--

Originally posted by nikitagmc





Did they take her away quietly? No they humiliated the husband. I don't remember if Sulo slapped him in your FF. but I do remember that it was not a quiet affair.
In the FF, there was no public tamasha. Ajit accused Manav in the 4 walls of the Deshmukh home the morning ArMan were about to go for honeymoon. 

  Everytime he was insulted, called a liar and worse names publicly. that is harassment.Most of the times they never came face to face with Manav only. You will find very few encounters of that sort in the FF- one in the very beginning of this track and even that was not done publicly. It was in the Karanjkar house when he came to meet Archana- they never used very bad names, they only asked him to firmly go away- understandable resentment considering they had got proofs of a very bad character. Intent here was to safeguard their daughter. I gave the exact dialogues for that part. Most of the time they said all of it to Archana when they talked to her about Manav, not to Manav directly.they forced a divorce on a clearly unwilling girl and harassed him when he tried to reconcile. Archana wasn't unwilling. She was confused, yes, but not unwilling. In fact later she herself convinced Manav saying divorce is best option. They did not harass him when he tried to reconcile. In fact they did nothing. They advised Archana not to meet him and move on in her own life- that's it. There are no or very few interactions between them actually that they could harass him. Manav only talked to Archana. It does not appear like harassment because he refused to be victimised inspite of their efforts.  he has been publicly humiliated at every turn with this incident being no exception.  they have even supported silently his harassment by their DIl and their samdhans.  They are not aware of Ajit's villainy or Manjusha's plans and neither has it been revealed in the story in anyway till now. Usually Manav came out looking as the wrongdoer- Ajit plotted against him to make it look as if Manav was the one who bashed him up, made a false court case of arson and so on and there was strong evidence each time. This is the first time Manjusha did something openly and the repercussions are yet to be seen in the next part.archana acts the victim so it is easy to consider her a harassed victim.  manav does not act the victim even after being physcially tortured so he appears less a victim.  this man who has repeatedlly been victimised is being casually written off as collateral damage for the protection of a woman who choses not to act strongly for her own protection.  two wrongs don't make a right.

He is not being written off casually. I have mentioned again and again that he shall get justice for it properly. And its not like Archu did not act for her own protection. She tried to do it but was misguided by Shravani.


I came on too strong na?  forgive me.
Embarrassed


[/QUOTE]

Don't say sorry Hope. My answers in red.


Edited by nikitagmc - 29 August 2011 at 7:44pm

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Posted: 30 August 2011 at 2:04am | IP Logged

Originally posted by nikitagmc

I have nothing more to say. I tried to extract as much information as I could, and made up the story the way I perceived it. Now that it looks wrong to many of you I simply don't know what to do at this point. I guess even comments and likes are less this time cos many of you got disgusted by this part., even the regular readers. 

I need time to settle myself first and think and think and rethink and rethink some more.

And guys, I take my words back- now I can't say anything about when I will next update. Sorry to everyone.


Please Nikita, don't feel bad.
None of us dint mean to hurt you.
This does not mean we don't like your FF.
We loved it, are loving it and will love it always.
& we know, in next part, you will again provide a wonderful update yet again & will get bombarded with all of our loving posts.
So please don't feel bad.

Ur exams are more important.
All the very best for them.



Edited by dhahi - 30 August 2011 at 2:06am

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nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 30 August 2011 at 2:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by dhahi


Please Nikita, don't feel bad.
None of us dint mean to hurt you.
This does not mean we don't like your FF.
We loved it, are loving it and will love it always.
& we know, in next part, you will again provide a wonderful update yet again & will get bombarded with all of our loving posts.
So please don't feel bad.

Ur exams are more important.
All the very best for them.


To everyone:

I am not upset because of the criticism. I knew I would get a strong reaction because the way the story has folded till now, everyone's sympathy is more with Manav. (Except myself I guess- I'm sympathetic to both) Feedback of some readers gave me the idea that they feel the story is ruined now, so even I started feeling the same (temporarily). That's it.

I'm alright now. All of you, please don't worry. I appreciate everyone's honest feedback.

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