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PR Reloaded- II (FF) Note on pg. 76- do read! (Page 21)

nikitagmc IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 11:16am | IP Logged
As expected, comments are fewer this time. LOL

@deepa and DIYA: Thanks a lot guys! Glad you liked it!

@Sharon Di: Thanks a lot Di, I am glad you liked the ArMan moments even in this serious part. Honestly speaking, I put them in so that it wouldn't get very boring, and to retain some 'TRP's'.. hehheheh LOL


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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 12:02pm | IP Logged
Niki:

I haven't commented on your thread for a long time.

I loved part 71. I truly did. I wanted to leave my comments but did not get a chance to do so earlier.

I only come for your FF nowadays on IF.

I did not like this part. I was actually very surprised that you chose to include it and very disappointed.

In your FF, I loved the scene u set witht eh original PR characters and the original PR plot.  Most of all, I loved how you managed to keep the storyline pure, intriguing and simple marital story without the vitriol that Ekta's storylines contain.  Very down to earth and relatable.

Ekta's PR got destroyed for me with the beating for the Ds. It was unreasonably cruel and harsh for the simple story that it had started out to be. I liked how you handled and incorporated Shravani's involvement but I was lost reading this update.

I know you will make your best efforts to rescue the protagonists inspite of this plot but somehow this part now makes this FF feel more like Ekta's PR than Nicki's PR.  Any marital compromise after this will now have the same effect that Ekta's reunion did after divorce. an imbalanced effort.

FYI,  Archana was harassed not abused by Savita.  The treatment meted out in the show could be considered by even creative and vindictive minds as a just retribution for abuse but not harassment, I think.

Archana's harassment in Ekta's show and your FF was enabled by her own silence and acquiciense of Savita's actions. She did not cause them or deserve them but she did not discourage them or curb them either.    I had really hoped that Archana's charcter would evolve from a tied to her mother's aprons strings shrinking violet into a matrue in control of her destiny woman after she came home to Manav. Alas!

Archana was not beaten physically because of Savita yet Savita and the Ds were beaten physically becasue of Archana.  A distinct imbalance. 

So can one assume that one such scene would lead to another retribuion scene where Sulochana and the entire Ks are arrested and beaten viciously for harassing Manav and Manav refuses to support Archana and claim he was not abused/ harassed upon the advice of a NGO? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?

I wish you had not included this part Nicki.  I really wish you had not.
You are a wonderful storywriter and I am sure you will use that wonderful talent in taking this FF to a well deserved end

Bye Nicki.
Take care.

Love
Hope

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 12:13pm | IP Logged

Thanks for your detailed comments, Minks, as always I loved them. You made some very good points, and I would like to discuss them in detail.

 

Originally posted by scarletthara

And, we are back to square one... Poor Archana Manav ke life ke problems kabhi khatam hi nahi hote... You know, I'd planned out this twist since the beginning of the story, but since then I've thought at least thousand times whether to include it or not. Even yesterday, before posting the part, I was feeling very nervous for the same reason. There were many reasons for apprehension- one, it was a very serious issue, secondly, cos I didn't know if the audience would really be able to handle any more misery for Manav. He has really suffered enough, and I know that everyone feels for him too much. In fact, the reaction when this twist was shown in the serial was outrageous- everyone went wild at how much poor Manav was suffering, and in this FF he is going through more, so I was very nervous about how people would receive it. It was just one of those things which I as a writer wanted to present, and took a risk for. This twist is actually meant for character development and define a few relationships ahead,.

 

I had forgotten this twist in the show, and honestly, I dont like it at all... Savita aai ke chakkar mein sab ko mar padi... it showcases the big loop holes in our law system, where people can easily mis-use it on the name of dowry... I am not saying that its not that dowry and harassment does not take place, but the upper hand which the girls said enjoys at times give leeway to exploitation of this loop-hole... like, in this case, Manjusha got away scot-free... bugger her... seriously, she deserves some penalty for the act, deliberately causing harm to an old harmless man, and an ill man.. along with that spoiling and ruining the innocence of two innocent children... Savita aai also, in a way... she could have been just jailed... the whole beating thing got be really upset... why does the Police take undue steps before even proving the guilt of the offenders... sorry, for this long rant, but I totally hate when innocent people are taken for a ride by a law, which in effect should provide support and strength to someone suffering... Will come up with more on this in the next part, about this freedom on the part of the girls family, about the beating, why ALL were taken in jail and beaten, etc. It will clear things.

 

Well, I know Niki that Archana is not a very strong woman, having always relied on her parents for support and taking her life decisions.. but now finally, when she has decided that she is part of Manav's life and she is trying to stick to it.. at least she can be mature enough to take some decisions on her own... yes, she feels guilty for all the sufferings to Manav and his family.. yet, she cannot just get swayed by this emotions and take a wrong decision. She should know herself, that she if she were to go ahead with the false case, she would be proved wrong, due to the witnesses to Savita's wrong behaviour.. many poeple have seen her treating Archana badle, and hence they would just easily lose the case. Yes- but there's another aspect to consider it too- Most of the people are Savita's neighbours.. who had seen Savita mistreating Archu, but NEVER stopped Savita or said anything or got involved in the matter. Someone coming and testifying IN COURT that no Savita did it, is actually not very easy to assume in such a situation, but like Mrs. Ruhia said, there is always a possibility- who knows Manjusha might convince someone, so why take a chance.

 

It would be better for her to just trust Manav and tell him about his aai, and her tortures, else Manav would never be able to trust her enough.. Also, she needs to stick to her promises, or else not make them at all...

 

Why did she promise at all, and then just go back on it without even explaining clearly to Manav what her problem was... This is going to just create more problems for the two in future...

 

You know Minks, there were two ways of showing Manav in this situation- to show him as a very understanding man, who keeps in mind that Archana is not at fault, and does not blame her, rather he defends her in front of his family when they demand that she be thrown out, or I could have shown him as I did above- he screams, shouts, gets angry, then cools somewhat, talks a little, still annoyed, and finally accepts that she is not at fault and makes peace with her. The first portrayal would have been ideal, but the second one is REAL. This is how any normal person, who is not a sage or god, would behave.

 

I tried to keep the same thing in mind when I tried to write Archana- to show her as real, rather than ideal. Ideal behavior on Archana's part would have been to speak up in front of Manav about truth, be firm and stick to justice and what is right- tell him everything about his Aai. But in REAL life, a wife would think many times before telling a husband horrible truths about his mother just 4 months after they are married, or going against her in front of the whole world, (no matter how strong or weak she is) and that too someone so meek like Archana. Doesn't go with her character. Men are not ideal all the time (like Manav), there are many who would not like to hear anything/believe anything against their family or want their wives to go against their parents in front of the whole world, or shame them. 'Blood is thicker than water'- on impulse, most men support their family, not anything else. Didn't the serial Manav too divorce Archana just to get little Sachin from Shravani? 

 

Thus, in a crumbling marriage like hers, Archana doesn't have much to count on, or expect support from a husband (against his mother) who she knows is very devoted to his parents. Like any normal woman, she first debated on it, then decided to side with her husband, and finally had to be given strength to do what was right.

 

I know, many people think that this Archana is too spineless. When I write her, I always try to imagine a girl who is very emotional, doesn't have much confidence, gets defensive or shows strength sometimes, when pushed to the corner, and is trying to do the balancing act all the time- between what is right and wrong, between her husband and parents, between her desires and reality. That is why sometimes she comes across as inept in making some decisions, but then again she is the same girl who defied her parents and took the step to return to the husband who had been called characterless- trusting his inner goodness. It requires great strength to accept someone who ruined your life by looking at the good in him and live FOR him. She has strength, but it lies unrecognized most of the time, is what I try to show as of now. The story is meant to show how she taps it and becomes stronger, more efficient and more confident, and also, strives to become more balanced in her outlook. If I make her the perfect girl now itself, there will be nothing left in the story. LOL So as of now, I am trying to show her as someone so emotional and in love with her family and craving for a normal life with them, that sometimes she makes adjustments, just to be with them, or simply gets swept away in emotions while making decisions.

 

I believe that its just so difficult to trust and love someone, but for that to break, it can take only a few moments or one small action... She is being stupid in dealing with things.. though to be honest, she is trying to just be good and keep a balance between her two houses... I just hope its not at the cost of Manav...

 

If I had not known the end to the story, Niki, I would have said that these two are just doomed... in their love... 

 

despite all the love they have for each other, they truly need to support and be there for each other in such moments... warna life bahut mushkil hoga...

 

Well, I have gone on a long rant.. sorry, but this one made me ... I know Niki that you are trying to stay true to the main story, but I only wish that Archana had more spine in life... if ever there was such a girl... Hopefully you will like the coming parts when Archana gets stronger. Thanks for the comments.

 

 

 

 



Edited by nikitagmc - 28 August 2011 at 12:51pm

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 12:21pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by nikitagmc

As expected, comments are fewer this time. LOL

@deepa and DIYA: Thanks a lot guys! Glad you liked it!

@Sharon Di: Thanks a lot Di, I am glad you liked the ArMan moments even in this serious part. Honestly speaking, I put them in so that it wouldn't get very boring, and to retain some 'TRP's'.. hehheheh LOL


 
 
Hi Nikita,
Don't worry my dear. You know I'll always love your story, regardless of the twists and turns. That is the reality of life. Life isn't only full of good times. The bad times have to be there. It does happen at times that bad times seem to come in droves. We just have to be strong and bear with these bad times, so that we can celebrate wholeheartedly, when the good times return.
 
I love your storyline so far, because it's much more realistic than the real PR, and the characters, especially Arman, are more believable. No human is perfect, and nobody's life runs according to plan.
I believe that Archana having to suffer again, so soon after returning to the Deshmukh home, will result in her happiness that will be deeper and more meaningful in the long run, than if she had smooth sailing immediately upon her return to Manav!
 
Nikita, don't be discouraged. I know you are a very talented wrtier, and I trust your overall plans for FF Pavitra Rishta!!!   Am eagerly awaiting the next installment.HugHeart
 

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
Nikita,
I forgot to mention, I LOVE the "TRP" part of your postLOL

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 1:32pm | IP Logged
Hi Hope! Thanks for your comments. 

I've always said that I let the viewers make their own impression of the story, and then I discuss what was my visualization, or the way I imagined it. Same goes this time too. I'm sorry that this part disappointed you and seemed vitriol like.

Originally posted by --Hope--

Niki:

I haven't commented on your thread for a long time.

I loved part 71. I truly did. I wanted to leave my comments but did not get a chance to do so earlier.Thankyou Hope.

I only come for your FF nowadays on IF.Big smileThat is a big compliment indeed. Thanks.

I did not like this part. I was actually very surprised that you chose to include it and very disappointed.

In your FF, I loved the scene u set witht eh original PR characters and the original PR plot.  Most of all, I loved how you managed to keep the storyline pure, intriguing and simple marital story without the vitriol that Ekta's storylines contain.  Very down to earth and relatable.

Ekta's PR got destroyed for me with the beating for the Ds. It was unreasonably cruel and harsh for the simple story that it had started out to be. I liked how you handled and incorporated Shravani's involvement but I was lost reading this update.

I know you will make your best efforts to rescue the protagonists inspite of this plot but somehow this part now makes this FF feel more like Ekta's PR than Nicki's PR.  Any marital compromise after this will now have the same effect that Ekta's reunion did after divorce. an imbalanced effort.

Actually Hope, I always wrote this story aiming to show the journey of a lower middle class married couple, two people who come together with their own baggage of problems for each other- the boy has a dysfunctional family in which any girl would find difficult to adjust, the girl has the shadow of an evil person hounding her, Ajit, who resolves to leave no stone unturned in wrecking her life, which affects her husband too. Both are not really advantageous for each other if you see it that way.

I wanted it to show it as a journey of their little sorrows and joys, testing times and victories, difficulties and how they fight them and in this process, their relationship evolves, and so do their characters.

To do this, I tried to incorporate issues a lower middle class couple could face.

As I told Minks above, I thought a lot about this twist, simply cos I didn't know how people would take it. But this was something I badly wanted to write about. My intention in this was not to show that I can write better than Ekta's writers (I never think in that way at all), or to gain shock value, or even 'TRP's' (although I joked about it a little earlier). It was just a twist which I had liked in the serial simply cos I saw great potential in it. I felt it gave an opportunity for both Manav and Archana to grow, but was disappointed by the way the story continued after that. And hence the incorporation. I'm sorry if it ruined the story for you.

FYI,  Archana was harassed not abused by Savita.  The treatment meted out in the show could be considered by even creative and vindictive minds as a just retribution for abuse but not harassment, I think.This I don't know. I based the story upon the understanding from the numerous discussions on the forum and later with Kools.

Archana's harassment in Ekta's show and your FF was enabled by her own silence and acquiciense of Savita's actions. She did not cause them or deserve them but she did not discourage them or curb them either.   True that Archana's silence caused her to suffer. But that does not absolve Savita of treating her badly. I just wanted to show her as someone real- someone who is scared of it at first and does not know how to react or talk to her newly wed husband about it, not knowing if he would support her. But she did make an attempt to curb it- she asked Shravani (who worked with her at the NGO earlier) for help and what she was supposed to do. Unfortunately Shravani succumbed to her selfish desires and misguided Archana.

 I had really hoped that Archana's charcter would evolve from a tied to her mother's aprons strings shrinking violet into a matrue in control of her destiny woman after she came home to Manav. Alas!Hope, this is just the first part of this twist, and its been just a night since Archana came home. How can her basic character change overnight? I too want to show Archana evolving, but not in one part or in a sudden act. Just the way I didn't want Archana to go back to Manav just cos of a weak emotional attachment or love even though knowing he was a bad guy. I made her go back to him when she introspected and felt that even though he had made mistakes, he was a guy with some very good points in his favour too, for which she respected him, and gradually felt he could be trusted.

Similarily, I didn't want to make Archana a Jhansi ki Rani in one day. I had thought of showing this change gradually in the story- starting from being scared, then slightly tactical, then taking little bold steps, and so on. She was slightly tactical in part 71, and took the first little bold step in this part (in the end) 

Archana was not beaten physically because of Savita yet Savita and the Ds were beaten physically becasue of Archana.  A distinct imbalance.  She may have not been beaten, but the way Savita went about shouting in front of all her neighbours that she was a prostitute is enough horror to any girl to do the unthinkable. (I did not incorporate the scenes in detail in the FF cos we have already seen them in the show)

Savita got what she deserved. The imbalance occured for Manav, who got punished for no mistake- this I accept.

So can one assume that one such scene would lead to another retribuion scene where Sulochana and the entire Ks are arrested and beaten viciously for harassing Manav and Manav refuses to support Archana and claim he was not abused/ harassed upon the advice of a NGO? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?????? Sorry Hope, mujhe yeh samajh nahi aya.Confused Ks did not harass him. And are there any such laws for males in the country if they are harassed?

I wish you had not included this part Nicki.  I really wish you had not.Sorry for disappointing you Hope. You have been a most wonderful critic till here. I enjoyed all your comments and feedback. Many a times, when everyone showered praises, I used to feel nervous of making a mistake or disappointing them. Expectations zyada hote hain to darr bhi bahut lagta hai. I'm glad you enjoyed the story till here.
You are a wonderful storywriter and I am sure you will use that wonderful talent in taking this FF to a well deserved endThankyou Hope.

Bye Nicki.
Take care.

Love
Hope


Edited by nikitagmc - 28 August 2011 at 1:36pm

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 1:36pm | IP Logged
Hi Nikita,

I'm again telling you are a perfect story - writer Thumbs Up (only for ur writing skills not for the twist in this part).
When all of us are waiting for some good times between Arman as Archu is back finally... there you are Ouch with your twists & turns...

When I first started reading this part, I was feeling why to include Ajith now & when will this part end & whr ll our Arman part ll come?
But yaa, i agree somwhr inside i knew Ajit Dead would b brought up after all he did to Archu & his reactions once he knew Archu went back to Manav.

But what I really not expected was this police station part & Manju's plan Angry . I'm v v sad Unhappy .

On orl. PR, when they showed Manav being bashed up, I was really really feeling sorry for him. (I admired Sushant's acting Clap in that part whr he ll be begging with inspector to leave his aai).

You ALSO did the same Disapprove .

My poor Manav Cry .
He is not even healthy-enough to bear all this both physical and emotional torture & public humiliation Broken Heart .

I loved ur last part but i dint like this part. Sorry Confused . 

Also, 1 more thing I dint like was this part is much smaller compared to others Ermm .
I was expecting a MAHA-EPISODE wala update as you were out of reach for a longer time Confused .
But i really credit ur writing ability Nikita, even though I dint like this part, you made feel that this part is not longer enough Clap .
There you stand Star .

I hope in next part u would make-up for that with looonger version.

& i know that u'll make Manju pay Censored for what she did unlike in orl. PR in ur coming updates. Only thing is I cant wait for them.

Waiting eagerly for ur next MAHA-EPISODE part (pls don feel bad as i know last part was ME but comeon, v r poor ppl & v need more more n more LOL )



Edited by dhahi - 28 August 2011 at 1:43pm

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Posted: 28 August 2011 at 1:45pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by dhahi

Hi Nikita,

I'm again telling you are a perfect story - writer.
When all of us are waiting for some good times between Arman as Archu is back finally... there you are with your twists & turns...

When I first started reading this part, I was feeling why to include Ajith now & when will this part end & whr ll our Arman part ll come?
But yaa, i agree somwhr inside i knew Ajit would b brought up after all he did to Archu & his reactions once he knew Archu went back to Manav.

But what I really not expected was this police station part & Manju's plan. I'm v v sad.

On orl. PR, when they showed Manav being bashed up, I was really really feeling sorry for him. (I admired Sushant's acting in that part whr he ll be begging with inspector to leave his aai).

You ALSO did the same.

My poor Manav.
He is not even healthy-enough to bear all this both physical and emotional torture & public humiliation.

I loved ur last part but i dint like this part. Sorry. 

Also, 1 more thing I dint like was this part is much smaller compared to others.
I was expecting a MAHA-EPISODE wala update as you were out of reach for a longer time.
But i really credit ur writing ability Nikita, even though I dint like this part, you made feel that this part is not longer enough.
There you stand.

I hope in next part u would make-up for that with looonger version.

& i know that u'll make Manju pay for what she did unlike in orl. PR in ur coming updates. Only thing is I cant wait for them.

Waiting eagerly for ur next MAHA-EPISODE part (pls don feel bad as i know last part was ME but comeon, v r poor ppl & v need more  more n more)


Hi Dhahi!

Please don't say sorry. If you don't like a part, then you can say it to me frankly. There is no problem. I myself always ask for feedback, hai na?

I had some reasons to write this part, about which I wrote to Minks and Hope. Can't type it again, (please don't mind!) but please read those posts to get my perspective on the situation.

I hope you will like the next part. 

About the length of this part, this part is actually longer than the last one dhahi- 24 pages in my MS Word file. The only reason I had to split up the last part into two, was that I had included a youtube file in the last one, due to which number of bytes increased I guess, and so IF did not accept such a long post, and I split it into two. But actually this part is longer. Is se zyada lamba main nahi likh sakti hun yaar, seriously. I'm a poor medical student in my final year, after all. Big smile

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