Originally posted by --Hope--
Niki:
I haven't commented on your thread for a long time.
I loved part 71. I truly did. I wanted to leave my comments but did not get a chance to do so earlier.
Thankyou Hope.I only come for your FF nowadays on IF.😃
That is a big compliment indeed. Thanks.I did not like this part. I was actually very surprised that you chose to include it and very disappointed.
In your FF, I loved the scene u set witht eh original PR characters and the original PR plot. Most of all, I loved how you managed to keep the storyline pure, intriguing and simple marital story without the vitriol that Ekta's storylines contain. Very down to earth and relatable.
Ekta's PR got destroyed for me with the beating for the Ds. It was unreasonably cruel and harsh for the simple story that it had started out to be. I liked how you handled and incorporated Shravani's involvement but I was lost reading this update.
I know you will make your best efforts to rescue the protagonists inspite of this plot but somehow this part now makes this FF feel more like Ekta's PR than Nicki's PR. Any marital compromise after this will now have the same effect that Ekta's reunion did after divorce. an imbalanced effort.
Actually Hope, I always wrote this story aiming to show the journey of a lower middle class married couple, two people who come together with their own baggage of problems for each other- the boy has a dysfunctional family in which any girl would find difficult to adjust, the girl has the shadow of an evil person hounding her, Ajit, who resolves to leave no stone unturned in wrecking her life, which affects her husband too. Both are not really advantageous for each other if you see it that way.
I wanted it to show it as a journey of their little sorrows and joys, testing times and victories, difficulties and how they fight them and in this process, their relationship evolves, and so do their characters.
To do this, I tried to incorporate issues a lower middle class couple could face.
As I told Minks above, I thought a lot about this twist, simply cos I didn't know how people would take it. But this was something I badly wanted to write about. My intention in this was not to show that I can write better than Ekta's writers (I never think in that way at all), or to gain shock value, or even 'TRP's' (although I joked about it a little earlier). It was just a twist which I had liked in the serial simply cos I saw great potential in it. I felt it gave an opportunity for both Manav and Archana to grow, but was disappointed by the way the story continued after that. And hence the incorporation. I'm sorry if it ruined the story for you.
FYI, Archana was harassed not abused by Savita. The treatment meted out in the show could be considered by even creative and vindictive minds as a just retribution for abuse but not harassment, I think.This I don't know. I based the story upon the understanding from the numerous discussions on the forum and later with Kools.
Archana's harassment in Ekta's show and your FF was enabled by her own silence and acquiciense of Savita's actions. She did not cause them or deserve them but she did not discourage them or curb them either. True that Archana's silence caused her to suffer. But that does not absolve Savita of treating her badly. I just wanted to show her as someone real- someone who is scared of it at first and does not know how to react or talk to her newly wed husband about it, not knowing if he would support her. But she did make an attempt to curb it- she asked Shravani (who worked with her at the NGO earlier) for help and what she was supposed to do. Unfortunately Shravani succumbed to her selfish desires and misguided Archana.
I had really hoped that Archana's charcter would evolve from a tied to her mother's aprons strings shrinking violet into a matrue in control of her destiny woman after she came home to Manav. Alas!Hope, this is just the first part of this twist, and its been just a night since Archana came home. How can her basic character change overnight? I too want to show Archana evolving, but not in one part or in a sudden act. Just the way I didn't want Archana to go back to Manav just cos of a weak emotional attachment or love even though knowing he was a bad guy. I made her go back to him when she introspected and felt that even though he had made mistakes, he was a guy with some very good points in his favour too, for which she respected him, and gradually felt he could be trusted.
Similarily, I didn't want to make Archana a Jhansi ki Rani in one day. I had thought of showing this change gradually in the story- starting from being scared, then slightly tactical, then taking little bold steps, and so on. She was slightly tactical in part 71, and took the first little bold step in this part (in the end)
Archana was not beaten physically because of Savita yet Savita and the Ds were beaten physically becasue of Archana. A distinct imbalance. She may have not been beaten, but the way Savita went about shouting in front of all her neighbours that she was a prostitute is enough horror to any girl to do the unthinkable. (I did not incorporate the scenes in detail in the FF cos we have already seen them in the show)
Savita got what she deserved. The imbalance occured for Manav, who got punished for no mistake- this I accept.
So can one assume that one such scene would lead to another retribuion scene where Sulochana and the entire Ks are arrested and beaten viciously for harassing Manav and Manav refuses to support Archana and claim he was not abused/ harassed upon the advice of a NGO? What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?????? Sorry Hope, mujhe yeh samajh nahi aya.😕 Ks did not harass him. And are there any such laws for males in the country if they are harassed?
I wish you had not included this part Nicki. I really wish you had not.Sorry for disappointing you Hope. You have been a most wonderful critic till here. I enjoyed all your comments and feedback. Many a times, when everyone showered praises, I used to feel nervous of making a mistake or disappointing them. Expectations zyada hote hain to darr bhi bahut lagta hai. I'm glad you enjoyed the story till here.
You are a wonderful storywriter and I am sure you will use that wonderful talent in taking this FF to a well deserved endThankyou Hope.
Bye Nicki.
Take care.
Love
Hope
