To all the women who can handle the truth!
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A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where any woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the Building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband . .
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely
good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled
to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
good looking and help with the housework.
Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand
it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop-dead
gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the
sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch
your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.
In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Rugby , Football, Sailing and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
.🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember… over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
# 1
A lady went to the police station to
file a report for her missing Husband:
Lady: I lost my
Husband
Inspector: What is his height
Lady: I never
noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Lady: Not slim can
be healthy
Inspector: Colour of eyes
Lady: Never noticed
Inspector: Colour of hair
Lady: Changes
according to season
Inspector: What was he wearing
Lady: suit/casuals I
don't remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with him ?????????
Lady: Yes my
Labrador dog, Calvin, tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue
eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he
never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg
food, we eat together, we jog together…. And the lady started crying…..
Inspector: Let's search for the dog first!!!!!!!
__________________________________________
#2
Q. What
is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ? A. Ek
bigarti hai to bandh ho jati hai... Doosri bigarti hai to 'SHUROO' ho jati hai Q. Doctor : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi
hai. A. Man
: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai. Q. What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE ? A. In
both cases you feel 'aur
thoda ruk jata to accha model milta' Q. Ek
admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi solution
bataiye. A. Sadhu
bola , solution hota to main sadhu kyoon banta? ___________________________________________________________ #3 A Woman was out golfing
one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to
look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get ten times of it!" The woman
said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock
to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM- she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And
he will be ten times richer than
you. "
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine."
So, KAZAM- she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like
to have a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good
Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times "milder" than his wife!!!
Moral of the story : Women are really dumb but think
they're really smart .
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women never listen!!!
You can forward this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good
sense of humor J
