OK you know what
friends...I woke up this morning to read the same crap about Tapu and in
the radiant joy of Tapasya finally showing signs that she has changed I
decided enough is enough! I needed to hear from the experts mouth what
the truth was! So after my college lectures I talked my psychologist
friend here who is also Indian and asked her about Tapu's case. Well at
first she chuckled and said "Sanaya I cant believe your obsession with
these serials!" But I pressed her to answer my questions anyway. I even
showed her videos from Tapasya's childhood. I explained Uttaran's entire
story to her.
I had written down some of the things I had read
in the morning here. Now let me answer the things I saw...according to a
professional psychologist's advice. Now first things first she said to
me is "Sanaya you do understand very well that this is a serial...and
they have made Tapasya's character OTT when she is grown up...only for
the drama and also because they needed one of the girls to appear a
villain."I said but Tapasya is NOT a villain! and she said in the serial
she is. Looking at her with an objective view without the OTT things
added by the cvs like the murder attempt etc she is quite normal.
I
asked her...but what exacerbated her jealousy into hatred? Then she
said OK lets first understand what happened in her childhood. So she
lived with her nani, her mother and her father as well as her mama and
mami who all doted on her and pampered her to the hilt with love and
expensive gifts and she was the only child. Now that isnt a good
combination at all because she had never learned to share not good to do
to any child. So natually when Ichha came Tapasya was bound to feel
this slight jealousy because any child would especially if they were
THAT pampered! Then my friend said OK now what's the catch here..Ichha
being a servant's daughter right? Now Sanaya you will be aware that in
India and especially in these Thakur families servants are
servants...you will be hard pressed to find many filthy rich Thakur
families who treat their servants as anything more than humans and in
many cases not even that. Thakurs have a certain pride and servants are
in most considered nothing more than that. Possibly Tapasya too had
inherited this mindset. How? I asked. Because in her family nobody
treated servants as anything more except for her father. Her mother, her
nani and her mama mami were all the snobby type. And the father I asked
how come she never inherited the father's goodness towards servants?
Because how much was her father around? Most of the time he would have
been working...out of the house on business and overseas so who remained
the parental influences in her life? The mother - who seems to be very
dumb and submissive...and the cold cruel servant hating Nani...as you
describe her. So that's why Tapasya wondered how Ichha as a servant's
daughter was getting the same love as herself from her father...when she
was the daughter the Thakur's beti. the fact that ichha was a servant's
daughter and she was the thakur's beti is the main key which
distinguishes this from a normal case. Another reason is that Tapasya
never knew why Ichha was treated like a daughter...it is in the psyche
of a 6 year old child to be insecure that this girl is acting all goody
with my dad to take him from me. Kind of like an Oedipal complex a child
has.
Perhaps the biggest factor is the nani...Divya the dumb
didn't spend much time with the daughter and the father was always
working and by that time Tapasya would have subconsciously grown to
resent Ichha for being the reason she was sent away to a hostel. Now she
regarded hostel as a punishment where she became sick. Nani took her
under her wing and from that time Tapu became very pro-nani because she
had nani's constant influence on her day in and day out and nani fuelled
her anger. She was young she was impressionable and she didn't properly
learn what was good and bad because for Nani...hating servants and
treating them inferior was alright it was a Thakur's right and this is
what Tapasya also mightve learnt.
Then I asked why she couldnt
differentiate wrong and right as she grew up. She said because nothing
prompted her to change the way her mind had been programmed. She was
still under the constant influence of the nani and until that went away
there was no chance she could change her thinking.
I then asked
what could help Tapasya. She said...Tapasya has grown up with a
subconscious inferiority complex and that made her hate Ichha. Tapasya
had got everything she felt...except her her parents love and she
couldnt understand why they were loving the servant''s daughter she
couldnt understand why there was an equality between them. The only
thing that could change her and according to you is changing her already
is receiving undivided love from her new husband. If she finally feels
loved that complex will not be there. If she is happy then she will
leave Ichha's happiness alone. Until she was unhappy she couldnt see why
Ichha...who she felt was a servant's daughter got happiness and she
didnt. Then my friend said "the rest I couldn't help you with because it
is a serial and they will do anything for ratings they do not follow
rules. Also remember that a child is NEVER born evil. There is no such
thing!
SO according to my psychologist friend these things led to Tapu's hatred going wayy out of normal jealousy.
1. The fact that it was between a Thakur's daughter and a servant's daughter
2. The main influences in her life Nani and Divya were not favourable towards servants
3. Once the seeds of normal jealousy had been sown Nani worked on that to change it to hatred.
4. The fact that she grew up under Nani's never ending influence
5. That she often saw Ichha outperforming her in school and this raised her rage
6. The fact that she was already very spoilt as the only child so she never knew what sharing was.
7. Her father didn't realise enough to teach her and explain to her that his love is still the same
8. The fact that Tapu never knew WHY she was being treated equal to the servant's daughter
9. She didn't see why Ichha needed to stay with them as she was not an orphan she had her mother.
10.
Both children grew up in the same house but why Tapu turned bad and
Ichha good? Because ichha never had a negative influence to her she only
had her good cultured Ammu.
Now to those who are saying they
know families who have adopted children and the others are fine. So why
is their case different to tapasya's? Consider how many Thakurs you
know that have adopted servant kids. There is a definitely a difference
to own kids and servant kids because in most cases and especially in
thakur families servants are considered beneath them. Consider the fact
that Tapasya had never learnt to share anything in the first place.
Consider how mnay of these families have a nani like influence and
consider how many of these adopted kids bring their mothers along. Dont
we all know doctors lecture parents when they have a second kid about
the importance of treating the first one with equal love and give time
to them equally?
The rest of Tapasya's crimes are just a dramatisation by the serial because in real life these would probably not happen.
There
is the world of difference between Tapasya's case and those of other
families with adopted children! Any other questions i'll be happy to
answer them.😊
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