Zarmeen, Lams, Rachu, thanks for your wonderful comments on this tricky issue of how the CT's have portrayed aspects of Nivi's and other's persona.
Zarmeen -- what you wrote was awesome- very sharp, very insightful. You've put your finger on the problem very well, along with Rachu -- that there is a distinction between obeying elders, stubbornness, and being samajhdar. I absolutely agree that there are ways in which the CT's have shown Nivi to be more stubborn or seeing the world in a particular way than being samjhdar. She is very good at heart, but this her problem is that she is not able to openly talk about her feelings and thoughts to even people close to her, but believes that it is her responsibility to protect them, shield them and so she feels she must solve all the problems by herself without even the awareness of other person... But life is not like that. We have to take the help of others and sometimes realize that our own thinking may be wrong or at least incomplete or not entirely right. All the incidents you point to are good examples of that. She did at one point want to talk to DD about Sid, and had that dream where she tells DD and DD tries to slash her wrists, and this scares Nivi so much that she keeps quiet. Then with Yash, she fears her dad will be so mad at Yash (and lest he runs away again) and so she thinks she'll handle it herself...
Indeed this inability to communicate directly is a problem with so many of the characters in the show. Direct communication is missing. We had discussed this earlier around Viren's issues. He is not open to Nivi about his issues, and she certainly is not. It is only after he is revealed as the stalker that they confront each other fully but the CT's ruined that by giving us such lame reasons for his stalking and never clarifying whether he actually did them all or only some. VD's passivity is another example, and Siddharth's problem we've discussed so many times.
NT dadi put it best when she told Nivi that she is not god and cannot single-handedly shape the lives of others.
With respect to VIren things began to change after the SR, but the CT's never took their time to develop it. They kept rushing -- rather lurching -- from one thing to the next. Wish they had shown Nivi and Viren talking to each other more. The love is there, but without the honest, deeply personal talks how will it mature? Wish the CT's would not interpret mahanta with only sacrifice and pain and crying and putting up with torture, but also with giving love and understanding and being available and facing up to things openly. They keep confusing us about Nivi's ability to understand Viren. She understood him perfectly during his rebellion phase, so its hard to believe she don't now, no?
I don't know whether the original theme of the show - pyar se kyon hai inkar...has something to do with Nivi's inability to accept love or believe in it or that she deserves it...but whatever, the CT's have confused us plenty!
Yet, hats off to Neha and Kinshuk and the other actors for doing their best with whatever the CT's have given them to work with. They have been awesome.
You know, I've noticed that at some point, in the recent past (esp around the time of Viren's stay in the Sharma house) NT Dadi, Sarita ji, who is such a phenomenal actor at times seems to not have her heart in some of the scenes she asked to do or lines she's made to deliver. Perhaps she gets that the CT's are messing things up and doesn't buy what they are making her portray, but being a professional does what she's told, but it shows...
The only hope is that the CT's shift their own understanding of good-ness, and growth and substance, and show us something more consistent and something that rings more true with the characters they themselves had originally crafted. (sometimes I think HL and CC are the only two characters that have been consistent from the start!!)