BollyCurry Assistant Writer
Joined: 11 May 2009
To wake me up was the warm rays of the sun that came into
the room. I looked at the clock and realized that it was eleven o'clock in the
morning. I thought worse.
The night before I had gone to bed exhausted after the party and I did not think to wake up before one. I looked back at my angels who were sleeping and a spontaneous smile came on my face. They were adorable.
I thought back to the day before, me and Arjun and the conversation we had while we were dancing and the hope to gather all together.
Me, Arjun and the children could have the family I always wanted, or at least I hoped so because I still had to tell the truth to him and I was not sure he would take it well.
I hoped so, this is, but I was not sure. I just knew that bit of hope was to give me strength to deal with it.
I asked to Rashi to book tickets for the next day, but I had to talk to Arjun, I had to tell him the truth before deciding whether to leave or not; it was right.
With these thoughts I got out of bed kissing my little angels gently not to wake them up. The night before they had collapsed exhausted and today they would not have woken up for anything in the world. They had to sleep.
I went to the bathroom and slipped in the shower staying there for a good half hour, then I put the robe and wiped my hair. Then I went to get dressed and then went on to my makeup. When I was ready I went down and I found Sid lying on the couch watching TV intent.
- Already awake? – he asked me seeing me.
- Apparently - I told him I also sat down on the couch as he made space for me.
- The children? - He asked.
- They sleep, I did not want to wake them - I told him sincere and leaned my head to the head of the couch.
- What's wrong Arohi? – He asked as he saw concern in my eyes.
- I'm going to tell to Arjun the truth. He has the right to know - I told him short, but concise.
- Finally. I thought you would not ever make the decision - he pointed out and we heard the doorbell.
- I'll go - I said, getting up and heading toward the door.
I opened it and I found myself Simi in front of me. I stood amazed to see her there, but I made her enter.
- No thanks, I just want to talk to you. Also in the garden is fine - she said.
I nodded, then warned Sid that I was leaving and I closed the door behind him.
I was not sure about what she want to talk, but I figured what could be the topic of conversation, discussion, or rather because of the way she looked at me.
- I do not think yours is a courtesy, is not it? - I asked when she sat on the swing while I did the same.
- If you think this means you have a guilty conscience - she pointed out to me with a hint of acidity in her voice.
- I do not think - I said aware that my assumptions on the fact that sooner or later I would find myself arguing with her were true.
- How are you feeling today? - She asked ignoring what we had said so far.
- In what way? - I asked, not understanding.
- How do you feel after stealing the man to a girl who has always been a friend with you? – she asked me brief but concise.
- I did not steal the man to anyone. If Gauri and Arjun had problems is not my fault - I pointed out.
- Arjun and Gauri had no problem before you came. As soon as you set foot in the Singhania's house you steal everyone heart, then you made the sweet eyes to Arjun and he is like a fool fell for you - she told me while I felt die.
She could not accuse me of this. I had prefixed to the last the happiness of Arjun and I felt unjustly accused.
- I did not need to steal anyone heart. The Singhania are my family, they has always been and always will be that you like it or not. As for Arjun I did not do anything - I said trying to keep calm.
After all understand. She was worried about her sister and perhaps in her place I would have done the same thing.
- You're a fake. You pretend to be Gauri's friend just to take away the man she loved. You came here with the intent to bring back Arjun. You've worked well without taking care of Gauri and her feelings. You used your children for your devious plans, you used those two children to ... - she was trying to say.
- Do not try to name my children. If you came here to insult me, okay, but if you use my children to spit venom I'm going to get seriously angry. I have not used my children in any way because my children are not objects and they are what is most precious I have, therefore, insults me, but before you talk about my kids wipe your mouth - I said pointing the index against.
I did not like how I reacted, but unfortunately when I heard mention my children I became a witch and I could not control myself.
I was too protective of them and I knew, but I could not help it. They were all that I had and I would have never allowed anyone to harm them or hurt them.
If I wanted to use my children to get to Arjun or who knows what else I could very well use them much earlier and not wait five years before appearing on stage.
- Sorry, you're right. Your children have nothing to do. It's just that I'm angry and I lost the control of what I said. Excuse me - she told me in a tone of regret.
- Do not do anything, but I will not apologize for the way I reacted instead. I hate when my children were involved in at the wrong - I said also softening my tone of voice.
- My sister once had a disappointment in love which made her close in herself, it does not allow her to trust anybody anymore. She spent her days locked in her room, ate little and slept only with tranquilizers, then came Arjun and God only knows what a blessing he has been. Arjun was her breath of fresh air, she began to live again, to smile to look at life with optimism. Arjun was all that beautiful life had given her. She fought with every fiber of herself for him to fall in love with her and when she succeeded, when she purchased the happiness that she deserved, you came and everything fell back on her because she realized that she had lost Arjun . I tried to convince her not to let go, to fight, but she would not. She told me that Arjun deserved to be happy in the same way he has managed to make her happy, but he had to be to be with you - she said quietly and softening her tone of voice.
I was heartbroken to those words. Knowing that someone was suffering because of me was not right, it was not for nothing. Gauri did not deserve this.
- I love Gauri, even if it may seem strange, I did not want her to suffer - I told her sincerely.
- Pretty please, if you love her as you say really put yourself aside, back to your home and leave Arjun. If you go away, Arjun will come to Gauri and they'll regain the happiness they have lost with your arrival. Arjun really wants so much well to Gauri and she could be a future perfect for him. You have been away a long time and despite everything you have gone ahead, but Gauri, do not think about her? Do not think about how she feels? She is suffering to die and she knows that is her fault if she is so bad because it's as if she was the one to push you in each other's arms. Please Arohi, think, think only about my words. Please, do not let the losers in this story is my sister, she has always behaved well with you. She does not deserve it. Go back to your life and Arjun will return to Gauri, but he will only do if you put yourself aside. After years away from him, what you have to lose? Nothing. Gauri, however, lose a lot. I'm asking you to think about it and I'm sorry if I reacted that way before, but I love my sister more than anything in the world and I do not want her to be unhappy - Simi told me before giving me a weak smile.
She did not give me no time to say or do something, because she turned around, got in the car and darted away, leaving me alone with my many doubts.
I got up that morning with the belief that Arjun and I were right, I should tell him the truth, but the words of Simi and know I was wondering if it was really right to do so.
In the end, she was right. He and I were separated for a long time and we were still able to continue to do so. I would have committed more to give to my children, even the paternal and one day, perhaps, when they become elder they would no longer have that constant need for a father around. Besides, there was Sid and he would be there for them always.
If I'd gone without saying anything, perhaps, Arjun would really be able to return to Gauri and be happy with her, and perhaps this was the only thing to do, the right one.
Maybe it was not right for me, for my children, but it was for Arjun and Gauri.
I would not have disrupted their life. He'll continue his affair with her, his work and in a few years might he'll witness the birth of what he believed to be his first child.
Arjun still had the option of a quiet life, without any problems or concerns, and I would have given only these and most likely I would have disrupted their lives for nothing.
We were not together for six years and we were both changed, in all likelihood we could not get along and leave after less than a week.
No, Simi was right. I had to go away, go away on tiptoe without causing problems.
Knowing this, I went in seeing Sid, in the living room, playing with the children still in their pajamas and watch that scene I realized that I had made the right decision.
I, Sid, Aru and Geet were a family, Arjun was an addition that I wanted, but he could not be there. In the end the parents are not the people who bring you into the world, but those who take care of you and for my children it was Sid.
- Mom, Mom - told my children as soon as they saw me and ran toward me.
I threw myself upon them and give them a big hug, one of those hugs from which I'd never wanted to get away and at that moment I asked them silently apologize for my decision to return home to live the life we ??led before. A silent tear came out from my eyes and before the little knowing it I made sure to dry it, but it did not escape the watchful eyes of Sid.
- Children climb to the room that now mom is coming to dress you - I said to the little ones and after yet another kiss to me and one to Sid, they ran on without a fuss.
Sid and I looked at each other intensely in the eye and another tear escaped my control.
- What's up Arohi? Who was at the door? - he asked me realizing that there was something wrong.
- Simi - I answered simply.
He was astonished and I made sure to tell him the whole conversation I had the day before with Gauri and a few minutes before her sister expressing my choice to go home without saying anything.
- You cannot do it Arohi - Sid told me when I finished talking.
- It does not matter if I can, I must. Arjun had a life here before I came back and it is right that he continues that. Gauri was a stable for him, I do not know if I can be - I told him.
- You love him and he loves you, tell me what's difficult about that? - He asked.
- Love is sometimes not enough. How do I know which of us will be all right? How do I know that in two months it's all over because we're too different to be together? And if it happens who would pay the price? The children, Sid, they would pay and I do not want. And especially I do not want to tie Arjun to me forever just because of the twins. And then let's think, you have no idea how he will react when he finds out the truth? He'll become a hyena and he has all rights. I will not spoil that bubble of serenity that we were able to reconstruct the past two weeks - I told him, now sure of my words.
- I hate you, you know? I hate your stubbornness. He'll be angry? But who cares, Arohi. Sooner or later he'll get. Do you really think if you go back he'll come back to Gauri? I cannot believe you are so naive to believe the real. You're the smartest person I know, but when it comes to Arjun, you becomes stupid. You know, I'll always be here no matter what happens, whatever decision you take, but let me tell you what you're doing wrong. There are no right or wrong choices, just choices because when you choose to do something you never know the consequences of those actions, but this time, Arohi, this time I know that this is a wrong choice and in a short time you'll know you same, but that's okay. Do you want to go home and continue to keep this secret, well, let's do it, but it is a mistake and I would never find myself having to say "I told you so" - he told me seriously before kissing my cheek and walk away to the kitchen.
He did not give me the time to say anything and I got in the room to dress the children.
When they were ready we descended down sitting down at the table. We ate as the happy family that seemed, we were just all and Arjun thought it well to announce at that time his definitive break with Gauri.
The children jumped from their chair to the strong contentment and went to hug him, while everyone watched me with a smile. What they did not know was, however, that in spite of everything for me and Arjun, there would be no future.
When the situation calmed down a bit, we moved all of us kids in the living room while Aru, Geet and Tia went into the garden to play with their grandparents.
We sat in the living room and just like old times the children began playing the play station while us watched them smiling.
Rashi and Jignesh had not yet left for their honeymoon. The tickets were booked there for two weeks, so the two new newlyweds were with us in the living room.
- Rashi have you booked the tickets I asked you? - I asked, breaking the bubble of serenity that was created.
- Yes, of course - she told me euphoric.
- The departure is scheduled for what hour? - Sid asked in my place.
- For eleven in the morning - said Rashi still completely thrilled.
I did not understand the reason behind her behavior, but I linked to the fact that she was glad that she had just married.
- You could say it before, I still have to go and pack our bags - I said in alarm, getting up from the couch, but she block making reside.
- There is no hurry - she told me smiling.
- Rashi, it's five o'clock in the afternoon and departure is tomorrow at eleven and tell me that there's no rush? - I asked and that's when I met the eyes of Arjun disappointed.
Maybe we should talk, I should explain that the day before I was let go because of the euphoria of the wedding, but I did not think really what I had said, but looking into his eyes I was not sure I know how to lie like that.
- Arohi, quiet, the tickets I've booked a flight to eleven, but not tomorrow - she explained to me as if it were obvious.
- And when I'm sorry? - I asked, curious.
- Exactly two weeks later- she said laughing and it was then that anger took hold of me.
Arohi put the joystick on the table and so did Sid as out of my face they had understood my reaction. The same Jignesh stopped playing, while Armaan was still cursing the game because he was losing. Riddhima gave him a nudge and it was then that he realized what was happening.
- What did you do? - I yelled at Rashi with a very angry voice.
- Arohi, calm down first. I thought you were sorry not to stay here a little time - she pointed out to me.
- Calm down? You're kidding, Rashi. Have you any idea what you've done? - I asked her screaming.
I never behaved like this, at least not with her, but the nervousness that I had of my own, coupled with the fact that she always get involved in all things made me go up in smoke.
- I have extended your holiday here - she said and she still did not understand the gravity of the offense.
- I live in Mumbai and I have a life, a job and cannot afford to extend the holidays as if nothing had happened. You may not always allow yourself to organize and manage the lives of others as if nothing had happened. You asked if I wanted to stay here? Have you wondered if Sid had to go back to work? Have you wondered what I left there and if I had to go urgently? You asked for all these things? No, you didn't ask, because the only thing you care about is that you want always take care of all, you have to always win out, everything must be perfect as thou you arranged. I'm sorry Rashi, but it is not so. Of your life you can do whatever you want, but you do not have this right on me - I shouted angry.
She could not always afford to organize everything, put her nose in the affairs of others. We were no longer girls.
- I cannot understand why you're taking so much. Until proven otherwise you always liked this part of my character, you have always loved the fact that I care a bit of everything because you know I do it for you and not for me - she pointed out to me by raising the voice.
I looked at the others and they were all speechless and we looked upset.
- I have always been good is true, but now I am not the girl who left this place in her early twenties, I grew up and I have responsibility. Do you do this for me? I was the one to ask you something? And then what you do for me? You just extended my vacation without worrying that in Mumbai I have a responsible job and I cannot be away this long without reason valid. What should I call my director and say "Oh sorry, the rest still on vacation two weeks, my best friend has decided that." You do not realize - I continued.
- No, you do not realize my reasons. I just wanted to do this because I wanted you to stay here with us a little longer, I just wanted to be with children, cuddle and play with them, take the time that I haven't had in years past, I wanted you to stay and looked with your eyes the life you may have here, that you realized that nothing has changed from once, we can be a family now as then – she explained while I saw her eyes sad.
I could not give up, not now and not so. She had to understand she was wrong.
- Of course, we stay her a bit, so then the kids will no longer want to get away from here even under torture. You think it's easy for me to leave now, you think it's easy to convey to them that we must return to our lives, let them know that this was a parenthesis, and that real life is in Mumbai? - Shouted against while the others did not know whether to intervene or not.
- You think it's easy for me to get back there again? Away from you and from them now that they have known? - I asked her screaming.
It looked like a fight who shouted all the louder, but this time I lowered my head, this time I was right and I had every intention of putting the record straight.
- Rashi, I came here t with a promise, a promise that I had made you. I still remember your words "End of the marriage you will go, no one will force you to stay longer than you want," and, instead, here we are discussing this. The life is mine and I decide what to do. I did not want to come here because I knew it would end like this, I knew that eventually there would be fond of children and they to you and you'd do anything to keep me here and then Rashi let's face it, your plan is not only that - I said always aloud, glancing at Arjun, a look that she noticed.
- And what's wrong if I want two of the most important people in my life to be happy? It is to judge me or throw me shit for it? - she asked me screaming like crazy.
- Do you understand that life is mine, it is ours and that we are big enough to know what to do, to decide what to do with our relationship? - I asked.
- You are just stupid, the truth is this, you have always been. You took a lifetime to understand that you loved each other, but a handful of seconds to ditching it all away and now that you have found and you have the chance to be together, what you do? You throw away, here's what you do - she yelled at Arjun involving him as well.
- Rashi stop now, these are issues that only affect us, you don't need to put your nose - Arjun intervened for the first time in the conversation.
- No, it is not just matters that only concern you and you know why? Because you're gone at any moment leaving us all without a telephone number, without an address where to look, you disappear as if you had never existed. And here we have had to pick up the pieces you left, but you were not interested in this, you did not care nothing about the people that you had left behind, you did not care about anything even at the woman who loved you…who wake up every night screaming by nightmares, you did not care about anything…she passed her days in your room to smell your things in order to feel closer. You were not interested in anything and you have seen fit to go and we were here waiting, like a stupid, for a phone call, a message, a letter to tell us that you were okay, but when you come back at home and you rang the bell all of us jumped on you not allowing you to go away, but you know what? But I don't forgive you one thing: I don't forgive you that because of I lost five years of the life of my best friend, five years that have been the most important to her. So, stop saying that I have nothing to do, that we are not involved. You went away …away… you have not chosen just for you, but also for us - Rashi yelled at him furious than ever.
Arjun was shocked and looked at me bewildered, perhaps surprised by the words of Rashi who had somehow described as how I felt without him, even if those words were very, very simplistic to explain the hell I had been through.
He tried to say something, but I do not let him to speak.
- Rashi stop. Now this has nothing to do, nothing to do with Arjun, his departure has nothing to do, nothing to do with our story, has nothing to do. At this time you should just admit you are wrong, admit that you should not have to make a decision without first warning me to admit that I had the right to leave whenever I wanted - I yelled annoyed by the fact that she had somehow downloaded to blame for all Arjun .
- But Arohi ... - started to say.
- No, let me finish. The first day I came here I asked you not to spoil the kids too, not to let him spend every whim because it was worse when we would go on, but you did not listen. If Geet said that the doll in the mall was beautiful and you gave her, if Aru said that the toy car remote was a force, you bought the most beautiful car that had been put on the market. Their every wish was an order for you and now when I tell them that it's time to go home I cannot imagine what they will do and all this leads me to think that I did well not to tell them because I knew it would end like this. Every time I was watching you, you looked at me wrong and told me that you had to catch up with them making me feel guilty and not allowing me to reply, and I've always been quiet because I love you and I love your character in spite of everything, but this is too much. Decide for me that I would be here another two weeks not taking care of the rest is something that I never expected, I thought you had a higher opinion of me, but I guess I was wrong - I told her sincere calming towards the end of my speech.
I saw her eyes and read sadness, but also repentance and I wanted to go to hug her and apologize for my strong words, but I could not do it, I could not go over all that had happened, just could not.
It was the first time I saw Rashi in silence, unable to say anything and the others were also upset for this. No one said a word and no one seemed willing to do so.
I looked at Arjun and saw disappointment in his eyes, perhaps the fact that despite our discussion the day before, I had decided to go anyway, but what he could not understand was that it was better that way. One day he would understand.
- Arohi, I ... well, I'm sorry ... I did not think ... – she tried to tell me not being able to connect one word to another.
- Forget it Rashi, don't apologize, so you could go back again you behave the same way and honestly right now I cannot let it go - I told her sincere before getting up from the couch and direct me out.
I was not going to continue watching the eyes of others, nor that of Arjun disappointed, nor that sorry Rashi, my best friend, that person who was always been in my life, at all times.
I reached the garden, I saw children playing catch with Bade Papa and Badi Maa and I had to smile. The next day I would not have seen such scenes.
I picked up the phone and called the airport determined more than ever to go. I booked a flight phone for four to Mumbai for the next day at ten in the morning and after dropping the data credit card as a guarantee, I closed the call.
- And so you go the same - said a voice behind me, a voice I knew to be of Arjun.
- I ... - I tried to say while anger was slowly waning.
- It was not a question. I just want to know why? Yesterday I realized something else - he pointed out to me.
- And you've got it, but I had all night to think about it and I realize that with you is a risk that I will not and I cannot run - I said lying.
The truth was that the risk I would also underway, but that perhaps he was not right for me, I could not upset life in a drastic.
- Why? You have always fought for us, why now you will not continue to do so? – he only asked.
- Because today there isn't just me. Today in my life there is also Aru anf Geet and a disappointment to me would be a disappointment and especially for them - I pointed out.
- Do not hide behind the children, do not. The truth is that you do not want to really, you really do not want us - he told me, looking intently into my eyes.
- Do not be silly. There are some things in life you have to do in order to move forward, have the strength and the courage to let go even if those things remain forever in your heart - I replied, looking down.
- F*ck Arohi, look me in the eyes when you talk to me, or you're afraid that doing so you cannot go to say all the shit you're saying? - he asked me, raising his voice.
- I'm just saying that some things are not in our destiny, no matter how much we want - I said staring into his eyes.
- All bullshit. If you really want something, if you want it with all your strength, you can have it. The walls and obstacles in life there are and always will be, every time something can go wrong, but no wall, no one is unique. If you can see what lies beyond you'll always be a step higher - he told me softening and dangerously approaching me.
- I cannot climb it this step and maybe it's better that way. Our paths separated that night in Chennai and now do not need to try to put it on the same track. My departure is not a farewell but a goodbye. It will not be another five years before we meet again, we'll stay in touch, if you want. Nothing will change, you'll see - I told him even though it was clear as day that my words were not sincere.
I knew that everything would change, I knew.
- You know what's more painful than goodbye? A farewell that looks like a goodbye, but that conceals a more sudden and rending away. What should I consider you a friend who is leaving? No, I cannot. I cannot accept that you would take a plane that will take you away from me again – he told me and approached even closer to me.
- Arjun, be honest. The one we experienced in the last two weeks is not reality, it's just a small bracket that was destined to end before it even begins - I tried to say.
- And I would rather live a parentheses rather than face reality. And then what, I should face reality watching you get away? You have no idea what you mean to me? - He asked me blowing the words to a few millimeters from my face.
- Do you think it is easy for me? It is not, Arjun is not, but I have to do. It's just so - I said looking down.
- You're not punishing me? You're making me pay for how I acted years ago, and you have every right. God only knows how I would go back in time and not do what I did, but I do not have the power - he told me sorry and with a look completely worn down by guilt.
- Do not be ridiculous. I'm not punishing you, we're big enough to not hurt each other on purpose. Listen to me. These two weeks have been the most beautiful and the most magical of all my life, think that I'll change everything for one of these days I spent with you, but I cannot stay here and I cannot stay with you - I revealed.
- Why? Just tell me why cannot you stay, let me know and I will not do anything to stop you - he asked putting his hands over my face so that I looked him.
When his hands were in contact with my skin ,only God knows what shivers I felt, but I couldn't be so weak. I had to lie, at any cost, even if it would hurt me too, not just him.
- Tell me a reason to stay instead? - I asked, hoping that everything went as planned.
- For me, for us, for the children to be a family - he answered dangerously closer to my lips.
I knew he was going to kiss me, but I could not let that happen. After a kiss I would not have been able to lie.
I freed myself from his grip, gently kissed his cheek, then turned towards the entrance of the house backs to him.
- There is no us, Arjun, and there will be no more. I do not want one us, I don't feel anything more for you than I felt before. The time has passed and many things have changed and in the midst of these have also changed my feelings. If I behaved in a certain way these days, if I made you believe something that you could hope for something more I apologize, I thought to try again what I felt at one time, but upon reflection, I realize that it is not. I'm sorry - I said, still not looking before running into the house with the copious tears that fell on my face.
If I looked into his eyes I would never, ever been able to say those words.
I went into the living room and found the guys still on the couch watching a vacuum, not knowing what to do. When Rashi saw me in tears stood up from the couch and came to me.
- Honey, what happened? Sorry about that, really sorry, I should not meddle. I was wrong, I realize only now - she said as she hugged me.
I could not repay her grip, as I was too upset. I just go away from her and give her a smile that I was sure had appeared a face, then looked at Sid.
- Pack your bags. Our plane leaves tomorrow at ten o'clock - I said to my best friend before going to my room and lock me up before anyone could stop me.
I lied to a man I loved, I told him that I didn't love him and this was the most terrible curses. I had removed my children the opportunity to have a father and I was deprived of the opportunity to be happy and for what? Only not to upset the life of Arjun, not realizing that I was wrong.
Perhaps he wanted to upset his life, maybe he wanted to make a radical change, but I had been too caught up in myself to realize it and only then, closed to cry on the bed in my room while I was watching the wall with the photos that showed me and Arjun, I realized something very important.
I acted like five years before Arjun had done with me. I had chosen for both without taking into account what he wanted and I was terribly wrong, I was wrong as he had done in the past, but it was too late. There was nothing that could have changed things.
The only fault was mine. I deserved the pain and I deserved the hatred of my child when one day they discovered the truth.
The reality was this, just this.
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..Nidhi&Prem.. FoReVeR <3
Author: ..Amira.. Replies: 64 Views: 3642
|..Amira..||64||3642||20 January 2012 at 9:40am by tina1993|
Nothing Lasts Forever -UPDATE ON PAGE 21 (Last one
Author: -Awantika- Replies: 176 Views: 13694
|-Awantika-||176||13694||02 September 2011 at 2:47pm by tina_1234|
Forever We'll Stay-Arjuhi OS -note pg 7 - july 26
Author: -Awantika- Replies: 65 Views: 6231
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FF: Precious Forever...CLSD Link P.143
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SURPRISE!!! surprise!!! SURPRISE!!!
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