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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems
Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

I Failed in Love..

-Aish- Senior Member
-Aish-
-Aish-

Joined: 28 November 2009
Posts: 674

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 6:39am | IP Logged
Hey everyone! Umm, well, I don't really write poems but this one, surprisingly popped into my head and the words flew on paper with ease. So, here goes. 

I Failed in Love..

I thought those words were real

Those feelings you had, turns out, all fabricated lies

Not once did  I stop and think

Whether you were even right for me.

All that love in 140 characters

Had they even been true?

I was surprised I felt so much in life.

You opened a door to new experiences

Dreams, fantasies and teenage romances

My mind jumped to Taylor Swift's 'Love Story'

I presumed it was us, I hoped it was.

I'd begun to live in a little fairy world

Till, one day, you forced reality to crash around me.

 

Course you were right, you always were

But did the truth always hurt like 20 daggers?

I appreciate your down right honesty, 

But deep down, I'd rather believe those lies.

 

You couldn't 'not' love me

after all those moments we shared

Those carressing words and secret smiles

They were true, weren't they?

 

I asked that of you.

"Of course." you replied "They're true, my girl.

All those words are.

But the idea, was different."

 

You paused and sighed, ruffling my hair

"Spare a thought for me.

I care for you, enjoy your presence.

You make me smile, you're my best friend."

"Surely you..." I trailed away,

not knowing, sincerely, what to say.

"Stop and listen. I haven't lied, I was true.

But the love I have, is just not enough.

I'm sorry, I really am.

But it is better we know the truth.

I don't want to hurt you,

you're my little, cute and hugely fragile doll."

 

And that's it. T'was so easy for you.

I just stared back, absorbing,

those words you said and their underlying meaning.

I was surprised then and I still am.

that you didn't hear my heart breaking.

But then, there was no point in creating a scene,

I just ran home and let the tears flow freely.

 

True love? Was that the term for it?

I don't want it to be, certainly not.

What happened, I asked,

of those happy moments we shared?

They remain mere memories

ripping at my heart.

I need the courage to move on.

They say time heals all wounds.

Completely numbed, I have only one question,

"How long?"


Well, and that's that. Finish. Complete. Please use the 'like' button if you think it was worth it. Comments are appreciated and so is criticism. :)


Aishwarya

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My_loveis_gonea little faithsnazzychampdazedworld..-Niru-..AmnaIshEdgeOfCredencedrmahaScatteredCastle-sam-You-Know-WhoTheBratlove.mayurarti--jiya---KingAragorn-GulaabiAakhein.a-little-hopeFragranceOfLovethegameison

TheBrat IF-Dazzler

Joined: 28 May 2010
Posts: 4508

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 6:45am | IP Logged
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-Aish-

EdgeOfCredence Goldie
EdgeOfCredence
EdgeOfCredence

Joined: 10 May 2011
Posts: 1701

Posted: 15 May 2011 at 7:45am | IP Logged
So yeah, this ain't the first time I read it. Ofcourse not. But trust me, unlike the first time, I could empathize the whole poem in a different way. You may call it 'capturing whole of real essence''.  For I know the story behind this, the pain that flowed was variant. 
Coming to how you wrote it. . Do I need to tell you again? Rewind all that I texted. . ;)

One question. . you posted this now, relativity with 'present'? :O

Love,
Dino! :*

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-Aish-

snazzychamp Goldie
snazzychamp
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Joined: 25 December 2009
Posts: 1339

Posted: 16 May 2011 at 5:56am | IP Logged
Wow, u brought out that shattering feeling so well, its simply fab!!
Well done...Smile

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-Aish-

You-Know-Who IF-Dazzler
You-Know-Who
You-Know-Who

Joined: 31 March 2010
Posts: 3824

Posted: 18 May 2011 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
Wow Aish! I dunno what to say really. I have no idea on what to say about poems...except that i really liked it. Keep it up! Big smile

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-Aish-EdgeOfCredence

FragranceOfLove IF-Sizzlerz
FragranceOfLove
FragranceOfLove

Joined: 28 August 2009
Posts: 15190

Posted: 18 May 2011 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
It's a truly beautiful poem..literally stole my heart...

It was truly enchanting...

Amazing..keep pming me :)

-Mahi

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-Aish-

a little faith Goldie
a little faith
a little faith

Joined: 09 January 2009
Posts: 2037

Posted: 20 May 2011 at 4:24am | IP Logged
Aish,

I failed in love

The title grabs our attention which is rare since most title are too shiny and thereby are glossed over.  My own opinion has always been that no one fails in love, whether unrequited, tangled, broken, unfinished or even the candy floss variety just as long as they give with all their heart.  Our success lies in our hard efforts and not the results that proceed from there.  HOWEVER, the human experience is vast and I DO NOT know everything nor have I felt every feeling, so I was very much intrigued by the notion of failing in love rather than the ubiquitous falling in love.

All that love in 140 characters I loved, just loved this metaphor, image with its many connotations.  Initially, I thought of the image of 'instant messaging' and the restrictions of websites, symbolizing the restrictions of society, so just as we try in earnest to abbreviate, creating a whole new language of signs and symbols, so that we may express, as you said all that love without leaving any remnant of a feeling left unsaid from within us, WE ALSO mirror the same in society, bounded by the social rules of etiquette, by those subtle gestures, the slightest touch, smallest nudge and biggest smiles, dimples included.  However I also thought that it may signify conciseness of speech, that a few words are enough when suffused in sincere sentiment and hence all that love.

Just an exceptional line.  I loved it. StarStarStar

you forced reality to crash around me. You know I have always wondered at the idea of reality crashing down around us, for if we have our heads in the skies, upon sliver lined clod nines, then would we not crash down upon reality, or it would perhaps invade our newly annexed territory?  However your use of Dreams, fantasies and teenage romances, Taylor Swift's 'Love Story', little fairy world which were excellently weaved throughout, Star creates this hideaway within our own selves, or that secret clubhouse at the end of our garden, so that the notion that reality crashing in, or intruding upon our imagined happiness holds true. Star

Course you were right, you always were,

But did the truth always hurt like 20 daggers?

I appreciate your down right honesty, 

But deep down, I'd rather believe those lies. An eloquently expressed sentiment. Just a beautiful verse in both form and substance.

You couldn't 'not' love me Again, that precise detail that adds that specific touch.  Is this an inference or implication?  Is she making a statement or asking him, or herself.  Somehow, strangely, in this manner it seems stronger to negate than saying positively that you love me. For loving someone may involve a some possibility of future hate BUT to say forthrightly that you could never not love me, closes all doors to that possibility, it is eternal love.  Nicely done. StarStar

But the idea, was different." Just excellent, very unique response.  I loved this line.  True, words are but a means, for one person's I love you is another's common place slang, even if those people are the same person through different eras.

"Surely you..." I trailed away,

not knowing, sincerely, what to say. Again the form just beautiful, eloquent, poetical. Embarrassed The paradox of her being the irony of her words, no matter how he completed them. StarStarStar

I was surprised then and I still am.

that you didn't hear my heart breaking. Again, yes again, Embarrassed that beautiful form.  Poetry in motion. Embarrassed The shock, a startle, or surprise that leads us to fumbling, clumsy actions that nearly always results in something falling, breaking.  Wonderful.

"How long?" I know that maybe this was meant to be poignant but to me it was inspirational, even uplifting for as the protagonist asks this question, I infer from it that she has accepted and is preparing herself to heal, no matter how harsh or how long.  Warrior hearts are those who seek to mend wounds in hopes of returning to battle soon.  They are not belligerent nor brazen, they maybe bold and courageous, but in truth they do not know how else to live.

Thank you for sharing.  A well composed piece. Love Sabah



Edited by a little faith - 20 May 2011 at 4:25am

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drmaha IF-Dazzler
drmaha
drmaha

Joined: 10 November 2010
Posts: 2704

Posted: 23 May 2011 at 9:25am | IP Logged
one word awsome...Clap

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-Aish-

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