Chapter 31
'Wait a sec Moti! I need to talk to you, woh...what's wrong?!' Nivi was just staring at him without blinking and Viren wondered what he'd said. His hand tingled and he realised he was still holding her wrist so he quickly let it go and said 'Sorry I just saw you coming this way and thought...what's wrong Nivi?!'
She still wasn't saying anything or moving and he was starting to get worried. He waved his hand in front of her face and she blinked. 'Uhh sorry Viren, woh main...I was just surprised that's all!' Nivi looked down as she spoke and rubbed her wrist absently. Viren wondered again if she was ok but she asked him what he wanted to talk to her about so he told her how he'd spoken to Sid earlier. 'I talked to him for ages but it was so useless...so then I spoke to Tayiji..'
'What...?! Viren!!' Nivi had barely recovered from her lapse in concentration earlier but this pulled her right out of her haze. 'You spoke to Chachiji?!' She couldn't believe he'd done that; she'd told him in confidence and now Divya would kill her...she glared at Viren and he looked a little guilty as he told her he'd only told Vandana that he thought Divya would be a good choice and nothing else. He explained what had happened and Nivi felt a little calmer, 'Phir bhi Viren...' Nivi sighed, no longer feeling angry and as she watched him she suddenly felt the hopelessness from earlier in the evening returning as she said, 'Maybe we shouldn't even get involved...just let whatever happens happen...'
Viren looked confused, 'But I thought you wanted to help Divya?' Nivi sighed again, she did want to help Divya but was there even any point?! 'He doesn't love her Viren...you can't make someone love you; if it's not there, then it's just not there' She felt like she might cry and she didn't look at him as she pulled on a thread from Dadi's shawl to distract herself; she hadn't been thinking about Sid when she'd spoken.
Viren watched Nivi in confusion; he didn't know what the matter was but she was upset about something and he knew that was why she was saying these things. She was the one who'd wanted to help Divya in the first place. He thought about what she'd said about not being able to make someone love you and said softly, 'Lekin hum koshish toh kar sakte hai naa?' He had to believe that, otherwise what hope was there for him? 'We can't ever give up trying Nivi...' She looked up at him then and he just wanted to hug her because she looked so sad but he stopped himself since their families were just round the corner. 'Kya hua Nivi? What's wrong, you were fine this morning?'
Nivi looked at Viren and thought he was so sweet trying to give her hope and she could tell he was concerned for her by the tiny frown lines on his forehead. As she listened to his soft words, she wanted nothing more than to confide in her best friend but how could she tell him? Maybe if it was someone else she could have told him and she had no doubt he would be there for her no matter what but in this situation, she just couldn't. She remembered deciding to act normal and realised she'd already failed.
Taking a deep breath, she took Viren's advice and tried again, 'Kuch nahi Viren, I'm fine; just feeling tired and...I found your note; remember from when you left Shimla? I guess it made me sad or something...' Nivi sighed, a little relieved at being able to use the note as an excuse for her oddness. It wasn't a total lie; the note was partially responsible for her confused state.
'Sach... you still have it?! Can I see? Sorry if it upset you Moti...I can't remember what I wrote.' Viren shrugged lightly but he felt bad that something he'd written so long ago had obviously made her feel so sad. He couldn't believe she still had it and was really curious about it but Nivi was shaking her head. 'Later Viren, we have to go eat...' She suddenly seemed to remember everyone else, 'How long have we been standing here Viren?! Everyone's probably wondering where we are...'
She sounded a little panicked as she turned to leave quickly but Viren grabbed her wrist again, trying to ignore how soft it felt in his hand. 'We're not giving up are we Nivi... on Siddarth and Divya I mean?' Nivi turned around sharply and Viren felt a shiver run through him as her hair brushed over his arm. He tried to focus but she was staring at him again and his heart missed a beat; there was something in her eyes and the way she was looking at him made him feel breathless.
He took a step closer to her without being able to stop himself but Nivi suddenly stepped away and slid her wrist out of his hand. She looked down for a few seconds and then looked back up and took a deep breath, 'Teek hai Viren; we won't give up...' She smiled at him suddenly and he blinked; as he watched her leave, he had the feeling she was talking about more than just Sid and Divya. He followed her back to the living room slowly, trying to figure out if there was more to Nivi's behaviour than just a childhood note.
comment:
p_commentcount