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Chaand Chupa Badal Mein
Chaand Chupa Badal Mein

NiVren - coping with demands of being new parents

anjubala IF-Rockerz
anjubala
anjubala

Joined: 25 July 2005
Posts: 6613

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 9:45am | IP Logged
Friends, today I have noticed many topics coming up with Viren's insecurities and rift between NiVren due to Dwita. I will bring my points out because of my own experience of being a parent. I am sure this will benefit you all and you will be able to understand the track more easily.
 
Today we saw a new level of trust, faith,love and understanding between NiVren. These 2 are real soulmates, life partners. Being a life partner does not mean that you will be there only when times are good and life is like roses. Instead it means that you will be there in times of sadness, pain and when life is not good. That is what a true life partner will do. And till now we have seen that they both have fulfilled this responsibility with true heart. Yes, you all will say that Viren was the stalker and he hurt Nivi. But won't you admit that yes he was stalker but he was still there for her. He always made sure that he is there close to her during those times and support her and make her more strong. The strong and confident Nivi that we see today is because of those hard times. Hard times make you strong mentally. Yes when she was attacked, Viren did not stop that attack but he was the one who brought her back and ignored his pain and sat there with Nivi till she regained conciousness. He ignored his pain. So he repented in that way. And then when he lost her he again repented and realized what a gem of person Nivi is and did all to get her back. He succeeded as Nivi forgave him for his sins because she also realized that Viren has changed and he truly loves her. In this journey they both understood each other at a totally different level.
That is why Viren knew that Nivi will break and will not be able to bear this pain and iljaam. And he knew how to stop her and he used the tactic that will stop her from ending her life. So, we saw the different level of communication between them.
But now we will see another aspect of married life when a couple becomes parents. The baby changes the whole situation and equation between husband wife. There is now a 3rd person in their life that is fully dependent on them. Initially baby is fully dependent on mom and hence needs undivided attention. And those initial months are very crucial for the marriage too as a husband feels ignored. This is the time when mom needs more help from others so that she can give time to her hubby too. That is why there are like million of articles which tell how a new mom should ask for support and how she should spend some quality time with her hubby so that he does not feel ignored. This is the time when hubby's do get haywire...as they look for love. And now if Viren feels neglected then it is right too. Males are a very emotionally weak gender and they cannot tolerate if their other partner neglects them. It takes time for them to understand the situation. So, it is upto female to keep the balance. And once husband sees that even though baby is here but she is giving time to him too then he is fine. And then he does not care. That is why I said initial months are crucial.
I had a smile seeing the condition of their room and closet in the precap. This is what happens when a baby arrives. But this condition will only make their marriage more strong as when their own baby comes, they both will be ready and well prepared. I am glad CTs are showing the real-life situation in this show but they need to also show that Viren does not come in the talks of his mom. As MIL's (CC kind of) try to take advantage of such delicate situation. I hope Nivi takes help from VD and YD to raise the baby and not take the full responsibility on herelf.
 
Hope I did not bore you.


Edited by anjubala - 13 May 2011 at 10:36am

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diyaloveskinny IF-Sizzlerz
diyaloveskinny
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Joined: 07 July 2005
Posts: 16609

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:00am | IP Logged
Anju I love ur post and the way U have understood, Am sure U r  the right person to understand this as U have already gone through this stage so U have explained it in an excellent way Dear, LIke always Dear I love ur post,  Anju Dear, really I always look forward to ur posts as U really understand things sooo well and analyse them also excellently,  Please continue to write like this Dear,  Just love reading Ur posts

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mitra10minu2011INGCIVanjubala

zarmeeno IF-Dazzler
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Joined: 29 August 2008
Posts: 3386

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:03am | IP Logged
Loved ur post Anju. But I would like to mention another thing over here. Since their marriage Viren has never been centre of attraction for Nivi. First it was DD & Sid, Sood family excluding Viren and now DD's daughter has taken the place. So Viren is bound to feel insecure all the time.

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minu2011 Senior Member
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Joined: 02 February 2011
Posts: 929

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:05am | IP Logged
Lovely post Anju -- and much much needed!  I had a smile on my face as I was reading the last part.  Would love to see how Viren and Nivi learn to be with Dwita and with each other, or rather, how they will be with each other with their beloved Dwita in their life now.  I think there is a lot of promise in this new track - kucch challenges, kucch bhadkana by CC, kucch playful fun, and a lot of growth!

I also really liked what you said about the stalker phase.  It is so true.  He went out of his way to be there after each incident.  And has repented in many ways.  That phase did strengthen Nivi, made her more confident and allowed her to find herself, or a new dimension of herself and learn to be fearless and more bold.  It was a complicated phase and I really like the way you have analyzed it.

Thanks Anju!

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anjubala IF-Rockerz
anjubala
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Posts: 6613

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by zarmeeno

Loved ur post Anju. But I would like to mention another thing over here. Since their marriage Viren has never been centre of attraction for Nivi. First it was DD & Sid, Sood family excluding Viren and now DD's daughter has taken the place. So Viren is bound to feel insecure all the time.
 
Zarmeen, I totally understand your point and that is why I said that Viren feeling insecure is valid. And that is where Nivi has to take help. But trust me he will not let his mom do or say anything against Nivi. Problem is CTs have never shown any meaningful interaction between NiVren after his office work insecurity got resolved. They fast forwarded and showed divya giving birth and then her death..If they had taken this slowly and showed us some important NiVren scenes that would have been good.


Edited by anjubala - 13 May 2011 at 10:10am

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minu2011tashu20zarmeenodiyaloveskinny*Resham*Dilbole_ShiOmRu

minu2011 Senior Member
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Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by zarmeeno

Loved ur post Anju. But I would like to mention another thing over here. Since their marriage Viren has never been centre of attraction for Nivi. First it was DD & Sid, Sood family excluding Viren and now DD's daughter has taken the place. So Viren is bound to feel insecure all the time.


Zarmeen, we've been saying that for a while, but I was really heartened by today's episode because it very nice brought together what they have been indicating for the past week or more  -- that Viren and Nivi's love is maturing, and they understand each other at a much deeper level now.  So it will be interesting to see how they handle the natural issues that will arise with new demands on Nivi's time and Dwita's involvement.  I guess now, after seeing today's epi, and reading Anju's post, I will give more space for Viren's ocassional feeling of neglect and thoda frustration.  Am more ready to accept it as a part of life...the hope always is that the CT's show this properly!!

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minu2011 Senior Member
minu2011
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Joined: 02 February 2011
Posts: 929

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by anjubala

Problem is CTs have never shown any meaningful interaction between NiVren after his office work insecurity got resolved. They fast forwarded and showed divya giving birth and then her death..If they had taken this slowly and showed us some important NiVren scenes that would have been good.


Exactly Anju.  Would have loved for them to have taken the time to show this -- just like they showed us how Nivi said ILU, and all that.  I watch those scenes again and again.  they did show us Nivi and Viren bonding in the hospital, it was so sweet, but so short.  The focus was always on others and on the situation.   Its never too late, the CT's can do a nice job now, na?   And your'e there to convey that to Mr, Shahi in your daily posts.  Thanks so much for doing that and putting so much effort into this on all our behalves.  Hats off to you! (you know, in my field, this is what we would call someone who is an institution builder! one who cares to leave something bigger and more collective behind.)

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NiViren-Raj IF-Stunnerz
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Posts: 26060

Posted: 13 May 2011 at 10:21am | IP Logged
Anju.. completely agree with ur post and the new parent feelings...

i just wanted CT's to take a gap show a little NivRen and Dwita moments and then show this as we too could relax with NIvRen and Dwita and enjoy this too...cause now with this track we have CC's interference which is expeacted and when this Viren wanting Nivi's attention track gets over we will get something new for the two...

if CT's stop rushing and relax things for a bit ...we can enjoy what they show...


Edited by Raj_Luv_NiViren - 13 May 2011 at 10:21am

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