Agonizing Love-Kash ss-upd 01.08.11-pg14 - Page 7

Posted: 12 years ago
As usual, i have not accounted for the typing errors.Read at ur own risk.
 
Silent readers plz hit the like button.
 
Happy reading
 
 
"Why is it taking her so long?" Karan pondered while trying to tie his shoe lace." It has been 20 minutes she has gone to fetch the file from library, and it seems as if she has disappeared. AAARGHHH'This girl can sometimes be impossible."

 

"Shona, we are getting late jaan. Only half an hour to go for the appointment. Come down fast.I am waiting," Karan yelled from downstairs.

 

Still no reply.

 

Getting irritated for the umpteenth time,he marched upstairs to the study, where Shilpa had gobe  to get the files of her earlier IVF reports.They were supposed to show them to the British gynaec team they were going to visit that evening.

 

As he climbed up the stairs, he started feeling restless'as a premonition of smoething disastrous.He could not comprehend the feeling, yet his heart started thumping badly and his his eyes darkened with fear.It was so weird.All of a sudden such a band of emotions'He had no clue as to what was happening to him, he  was baffled.Still he continued to walk towards the study, he pace increasing with each passing time, till he reached the study'and saw her'The very first look gave him shudders'Earth moved from beneath his feet.He realized it all now'why was he feeling like that'It was his fate preparing him for what was coming'The damage was done'

 

Shilpa was standing there with a green file in her hand, and the very sight of that gave Karan goosebumps.He knew it'it was gone'all his efforts to hide it from her all these years'it was just  on her hand.She had seen it'she knew the truth.What would she do now?What would she feel now?What would  he do now?Will she be able to live with it?Will she ever forgive him?Will she still love him?Will she push him away?Karan felt a pit in his stomach as fear gripped him.

 

But what was more important at  that moment was Shilpa'her eyes- those emotions'those feelings that lurked behind  the veil of  the mascara stained pearls that oozed out of the green eyes'those questions'those doubts.She stared at him, lips tightly pursed, as she tried to swallow the lump formed in her throat.

 

As soon as their eyes met, Karna could not stare at her any longer.He looked down on the floor with guilt, reproach and self condemnation.He had been a wrongdoer in her  eyes, a scum.He could not deny that.But did he have a choice?He coulnd not muster courage to spill out the  truth to her.That is why he lied to her, to everyone.The truth wouldsimply kill her.The society would not let her live a normal life.She would forever be cursed for something that she till now had no clue about.But what would he do now?Never in his whole lofe  did he want her to see her real reports.He always hid it'but somehow she managed to get them today.Maybe this was all destiny.But how did she get it?That did not really matter  any more now, the disaster  has befallen on them, and that was the only truth.Nothing else mattered now'

 

Feeling Shilpa approach him with slow,weary steps, he dared to looke up through his downcast lashes.She was coming to himm, to demand an explanation, he definitely owed her one. A  truth, an  honest reason, not any cock hen story.It was time to spill the beans and bear  the brunt.

 

Shilpa stopped on her track when their faces were inches apart.

 

"SLAP"

 

Karan fisted his hands and closed his eyes.But this pain was nothing compared to what she was going through.

 

"Why did you do this? Why did u lie tome?Why did u hide it?Why didn't u let me know that'"

 

"What would you do if u were in my place?"

 

Shilpa loosened his grip form his collar and finally let it  go as realization dawned on her.She needed not ask him anything any more.Karan had answered all her questions, cleared all her  doubts.How can she ask him such a question?Wasnt it obvious for him to do this?Knowing him inside out, it was foolish of her to ask him such a question. Once again he proved his love,once again her heart wanted to swell with pride at his irrevocable affection towards her.But the truth outstripped everything.

 

Karan's heart skipped a beat seeing  Shilpa trip as she started moving away  from him.She was not in her senses, she couldn't even walk properly.And most importantly, she was moving away from him.Karan's worst fears were coming true.Shilpa was distancing herself from him.He couldn't afford to do that.He couldn't let  her shield  herself away from himShe was too precious for him to lose.He could not let them lose themselves..not for this'not for anything'

 

"Shona, I love u angel. Please come to me,"a desperate Karan called her.

 

"NO,no, I cant come to you.I'I 'cant.You cant love me'I am..not'ur 'Shona'You don't love me'You cant love me'," Shilpa kept blabbering  to herself while walking to ward the door.

 

"Shilpa come to your senses princess.Nothing has changed. I love u just the same.Cant you see?"Karan grabbed her shoulders and jerking her, muttered under gritted teeth.

 

Shilpa came to her senses as the words hit  her eardrums .She looked at him disbelievingly, as if he was narrating some conk  hen stories ye again.

 

"No, nothing is the same.Evrything has  changed Karan.Open your eyes and see, every bloody thing has changed.My whole world has crashed down.Do u bloody realize that its not u, its I WHO CANT GIVE US A CHILD? Do u bloody realize that its because of me that you will never get to have your own child? Do u bloody realize that its because of me you will always remain a piece of sympathy for the whole world?"Shilpa screamed furiously, violently shrugging off Karan'sgrip form her  shoulders.

 

He stood there flabbergasted,Here this girl has her whole world turned upside down, and instead of lamenting for herself, she was fretting for him'his anguish'his troubles'She was incredible.He fell in love with her once again'

 

Taking a deep breath, Karan pulled her back once again.Cupping her face, he tried to explain her. "What does it mean Shilpa?IT means nothing.Nothing has changed, love.Yesterday  it was me, today it is you,That's it.The truth is still the same as it had been all these years.And want it you who  told me last night that  it dosent matter who the reason is, whatever we have, its ours.Then why are you  deviating form your words, Shona?"Does it mean that all these years, when you thought its me who is impotent,you secretly blamed me, just like  you are blaming urself now?You actually thought that because of we you cant have a child, just like that way u are saying for me now?Did you feel low of me just like the way you are feeling of urself now?Do I conclude that whatever you said last night to console me, were they all fake?You lied to me, is that true?"Karan screamed frantically, while his eyes glistened with tears.

 

"No it isn't, I never held you responsible for anything," Shilpa whispered,lowering her  eyes.

 

"Then how can u balme urself?You urself know that u could not do anything about it.None of us could.It was just  a part of ur abortion Shona.It was beyond repair.There wasn't any other option than to remove one of ur ovary.I myself was too shocke at everything.On one hand I lost my child and on the other hand I was losing every  chance of getting my wife back.Your condition was terrible Shona.When u finally got back to ur senses after 3days, I realized what would have happened if something happened to u.Shilpa, woth u beside, I absolutely need no one else.But I alse knew how much u wanted a baby, our baby.I was scared, I was scared to break the news to you.You are already not keeping well because of the news of the miscarriage,and I knew  how would you feel knowing about the truth of ur infecundity.That is why I hid it from u, and later  told everyone that I am impotent.I can live with the world sympathizing with me, but not expose u to thi 'STIGMA" as the society puts it, of ur  barrenness.If u think I am possessive, protective or simply a coward, so be  it.But I could never do this Shona.I love u  way too much for that,  I am sorry."

 

As Shilpa's face was cupped in Karan's palms ans she held his wrists, they closed  the distances between their faces as their lips touched.As passion  took over,Shilpa surrendered herself to this man who not only loved her unconditionally, but more  than she ever could reciprocate back.Maybe this night would give her a chance to show him her gratitude .KaSh let go of their   agony and anguish and once again explored each other like never before. Maybe it was the beginning of an new end...

 
I tried to make this part as intense as possible...I  surpassed my maturity to get through  the life of the couple.It a lil inspeird form real life...detalied comments are appreciated...
 
This ff will end in the next 2 or 3 parts.Kindly do not request me to extend it...I have pmed 120 people, but receieved relatively few comments.So i believe I am ryt in saying I suck a writing FFs...i would not write any other ff in future.Once in a while I might write an OS...
 
Thank u all for spending some time in KaSh land
Edited by sacred shrine - 12 years ago
Posted: 12 years ago
OMG :O how did i not see this ff before??!
OMG SABZ!!!!!!!!!!! dumbb meee!!!
u started an ff OMG!!! :O
im gonna read nowww!😍
P.S ILY
Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by chocolatefreak


OMG :O how did i not see this ff before??!
OMG SABZ!!!!!!!!!!! dumbb meee!!!
u started an ff OMG!!! :O
im gonna read nowww!😍
P.S ILY
I have added another note in the end...do see that..no need to be so happy...i am ending it soon...
Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by sacred shrine


I have added another note in the end...do see that..no need to be so happy...i am ending it soon...
SABZ!!!!! NOOO! urnottt finishing it dudeee!!! ur the awesomest writer ive seen till nowww!!!!!!!!! Im ur fan seriously!!!! this isnt ending i so so so luvwat you write!
Posted: 12 years ago
gr8 update.so much emotion in that update.pls update soon.thanks for pm.
Posted: 12 years ago
hey it waz excellent the pain n the shock which shilpa got ... waz seriously immense... could nt even imagine ...n the love n support n care which karan showed towards her n the pure love he has for her... waz described so beautifully... loved it... n shilpa's pain n agony towards her reality waz heart wrenching anywaz loved the KASH moments ... pls continue soon ... n pls keep writing ...v love your writing so... pls n thanks for pm...take care...love aish...
Posted: 12 years ago
This is by far the best update sabz...

It is so beautifully described that i cud once again visualize the whole story...what touched me most is that even as their worlds came crashing down, both karan & shilpa were thinking about the other's pain and love...this intensifies their love beyond limits...

Another thing i loved about it is that, however devastated they were, yet they talked the matter over...nothing cud have been worse if shilpa left without listening to him...

Its obviously a very tough time for our beloved kash...but together they can overcome any crisis...😊



Posted: 12 years ago
nice update sabzi...loved it...continue soon
Posted: 12 years ago
hey
amazing one
m shocked...frm d beginning armaan din give d slightest of idea dats its d oder one incapable...
such an adorable relation dey share...luvd it
wud luv 2 read more don't end it so soon😳
cont soon
tc
shaaz
Posted: 12 years ago
amazing part...
luved it...
update soon...


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