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Writers Corner: Books, Stories & Poems

Standing on the edge forever.. (Page 2)

EdgeOfCredence Goldie
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EdgeOfCredence

Joined: 10 May 2011
Posts: 1701

Posted: 12 May 2011 at 7:54am | IP Logged
Originally posted by itstheclimb

This is just beautiful. The implication of each woven word seems to be an individual of its own but at the end it comes together as a whole..


Thank you.. Smile

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.SilentOcean

EdgeOfCredence Goldie
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Posted: 12 May 2011 at 7:58am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Angel-Pebby

Hello! 

Such lovely words! I kinda love the feel of it. It's like you can a feel someone standing at the edge of a cliff, ow, my poor imagination!, nevertheless...thankyou for sharing it. 

Waiting to hear more from you! 
Thank you for the PM. 


Heylo! :)
Em flattered, thank you ! Embarrassed

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.SilentOcean

EdgeOfCredence Goldie
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Posted: 12 May 2011 at 8:00am | IP Logged
Originally posted by vampire_girl

WOW..!! chandana you are too good dear..!Hug
amazing poemBig smile
keep it up..!!Clap

love
tasfia



Thank you, Tasfia. Big smile
EdgeOfCredence Goldie
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Posted: 12 May 2011 at 8:03am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ...Mahak...

Amazing poem...loved it..

The most important thing is...you know how to rhyme...and i loved that thing...

Do write more

-Mahi :)


Well, the rhyme-thing is something em still poor at. LOL
Anyways, thank you mahak. Smile

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FragranceOfLove

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Posted: 12 May 2011 at 8:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Sharmila-

Awesome poem Candy!
You've written it brilliantly!... Do keep posting more of your work here! :D



Thank you, Shar! <3 <3
Yeah sure, I'll bombard my works here.. :P :P
thegameison IF-Sizzlerz
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Joined: 01 July 2010
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EdgeOfCredence Goldie
EdgeOfCredence
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Posted: 12 May 2011 at 8:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Kanky-

My knowledge of your writing has been scanty, lately. Never got a chance to read much from you, you see. I like this, though and given you wrote it long back, it intrigues me, as I ask you now to write more. This was crisp and well-rhymed and eloquent, well done. Approve

Thanks for the PM.

Kankshita


Never mind, I still write kanks. LOL Well-rhymed? Okay, honestly, em flattered.LOL
Thanks for the comment girl. .

Love,
Chandana

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thegameison

a little faith Goldie
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Posted: 13 May 2011 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
Dear Chandana (if I may call you by your beautiful name, may I ask its meaning?)

I love poetry and it is that art form that eludes me.  Actually I should say it is one the many that elude me.  Therefore when I find those blessed in its light, I am spellbound. 

Magnificently your poem has both excellent form and soothing substance. 

Standing on the edge forever,
Hearing echoes like NO NEVER.

The title and first line create that aura that is between despair and hope, for we find inspiration in the fact that you remain determinedly upon the brink and yet disappointment that you do not find salvation. Star The second line captivated me.  Wonderful use of strong words no, never that as you describe accompany the wait of the protagonist through the ages of forever.   Star

At a distance from the pedantic crowd,
When your heart cries aloud.

'Pedantic crowd' (Embarrassedactually that would be me, but we will leave the therapy session for another time.) I love how you capture vast things so comprehensively and yet concisely so eloquently.  Unlike myself.  Just wonderfully done.  I digress.  The black and white that suffocates so that as you so beautifully expound our heart, that feels beyond that red tape, aches to shout out.  Star

That feel tears you apart,
The pain again comes to a start.
I loved this feeling of being shredded into smithereens and yet within those fragments we still remain the whole enough to feel.  That part in bold, I loved the manner you describe pain's preamble, for truly there is that subtle announcement of imminence that you are unable to subdue let alone its arrival.   Excellently done.  StarStarStar

You are rife with sorrow,
Left without even a single tear to borrow.
Again, the part in bold so wonderfully woven.  We are affected by our environments, so in a cold world we can not help but fail to feel.

No matter how bold you are,
This time, your fear reaches afar.
Just eloquently written! Clap True, fear that can permeate through all.  Even a shade in the shadow of courage. Star

The tenability is all gone,
You feel why I were born.
Your soul says there's still a hope,
But the 'past' ties you in a rope.
Beautifully written. Star

Shadows of past give ebon blues,
You rewind them and cry hearty hues.
I loved this verse the most.  The manner you tied shadow to ebon and then engulfing them in hearty hues, so that you create an image of a darkening heart.  Just exceptional! StarStarStar

You know the pain is inevitable,
Still, you strive to make it stable.
Though, you find there's nothing to impeach,
Your hands stretch for a reach.
Standing on the edge forever,
When you fall  as just a souvenir. . .

That last line just heart wrenching and yet so uniquely profound. For even just waiting'  is a journey too.  So the destination becomes a souvenir, a memento, a way to remember the way there.  Excellent.  StarStarStarI have read a lot of poem on the angst of life, tried to write some myself but this one shone a new light  upon feelings that are universal and yet as you so beautifully wove, can be so personally and by that nature so rare too. 

Please, please, please pm me any future updates.  I would be honoured.  Love Sabah


Edited by a little faith - 13 May 2011 at 12:57pm

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