Discussion of the Week (DOTW): Modis Need a Shrink

Dear SNS fans,

I am volunteering for this week's Discussion of the Week (DOTW) topic. Each week, we will collectively cogitate over a heated (or perhaps little mentioned) topic. To kick off DOTW, I am defaulting to a safer bet - the protagonists of SNS - Ahem and Gopi. Here's the topic for DOTW:

Food for thought: We often see Kokila chiding Ahem's disdain towards his wife, Gopi. However, it's no secret that she harbors a similar sentiment towards her husband, Parag. Kokila lashes out at her own spouse for his less than stellar career and personal achievements. Parental (or persons of equal prominence) preponderance, be it a culture of communal interdependence or independence, is unmistakeably one of the most influential guiding forces in molding one's life.

DOTW: Given the bombastic influence of parental conflict, within which Ahem was raised, is it too late for him to make amends in his marital life with Gopi? What is your esteemed advice for this young and restless couple? What must Ahem and Gopi collectively and individually invest in their fledgling relationship to make it a successful one?

Let's bring out our inner therapists (a la Dr. Phil/ Dr. Drew!) and hash out a healthy dose of bitter (or sweet) medicine for the TV-dom couple.


Edited by minareena - 12 years ago

Bang on, the smaller family unit needs a shrink. Chirag, Hetal and Jigar are amazingly sorted people but Parag, Kokila, Ahem and Kinjal need some very deep introspection.

Parag is an irresponsible dreamer but mostly harmless, so very little to say about him for now.  Kokila has huge control issues, is highly domineering, arrogant, egoistic, competitive, combative and aggressive. She is not very justice-oriented but nevertheless has some deep values - hard work, earning credit and good name, efficiency - all of which have become gods to her.

she is a good mother but at the same time a very bad one. Ahem and Kinjal have been brought up to think of no one else but themselves. It was no coincidence that Kinjal duped her entire family - she has been raised to be selfish.

Ahem doesn't realise EVEN NOW how appalling his behaviour to Gopi has been. To kick out your wife, just drop her off at her maika like surplus baggage without making financial and social arrangements for her - SHOCKING. Kokila allowed that to happen. Till her own mother pointed out the disaster Ahem and Gopi were moving towards, Koki had NO THOUGHT for that aspect.As long as she had a maid at her beck and call she didn't care what happened.

But to her credit, now that it has been pointed out to her, she is leaving no stone unturned to make Gohem a reality. And since I do appreciate people who acknowledge their own errors and try to make amends, I'm able to forgive Koki for her initial selfishness and blindness.

Ahem, well, he needs a few VERY RUDE shocks. I wish there comes a time when he is no longer sure of Gopi. somehow, AFTER he has started softening towards her, if she is taken away from him... I want him to suffer and pay for what he has done.

Bubble

superb topic for discussion...
i'll be  back with my views soon

DOTW: Given the bombastic influence of parental conflict, within which Ahem was raised, is it too late for him to make amends in his marital life with Gopi? What is your esteemed advice for this young and restless couple? What must Ahem and Gopi collectively and individually invest in their fledgling relationship to make it a successful one?



It will never be too late for Ahem to amend marital life with Gopi. Because Gopi loves him dearly. She is the type of woman that thinks"pati parmeshwar" and will wait for him until her last breath.

Koki has been one strong minded woman from the start of the episode. I agree she is rude many times more so before then now. She has changed immensely after being with Gopi and having the heart to heart convo with her mother. She has always wanted her husband to take on his responsibilities and not let his life pass by in his dream land. If you think about it, yes Parag is harmless, but he is also useless. He is a very good hearted man but that is not all you need to raise a family and take care of them. Her only complaint to Parag is that he bring no money home, that she has to look down because of him and ask his brother for everything she need. AS a wife I can not disagree with her feelings. However, I think he is a great father in the sense that he understands his child's pain. He is also a very good son and brother that doesn't find any fault in his older brother even when Koki thinks there is. In that aspect she is very arrogant, but I think that will be a future track in SNS. As for Ahem growing up around this. Yes maybe it did leave a stamp on him personally, but I don't recall him ever being rude to his father. I also don't remember Koki telling Parag off in front of the kids, she usually does it in their room privately. Ahem's personality today is his own creation.  Him being a workaholic, not liking anyone uneducated so forth. Because if it was up to Koki to instill personality into her kids, she would make them just like her, who wants someone like Gopi. Education would not have mattered.

As for Ahem and Gopi, my only advise to them is to understand the meaning of marriage. And except the mistake they have made themselves. Ahem for not asking his mother what type of girl she picked, not standing up for his love and for treating Gopi like a piece of meat. And for Gopi, not talking to Ahem personally about herself before marriage, not being able to talk with more confidence for herself when she is right and only being able to utter a few words. I also think that neither of them are compromising to become to the liking of the other. Ahem isn't being a bit more calm, he isnt' taking the time out to understand Gopi's simplicity and care. And Gopi isn't empowering herself with the biggest power one can hold, knowledge. She couldn't learn to read and write before because of Urmi, but whats wrong now? All she has to do is ask Koki. So they both need to stop, think of each other and move forward. Marriage isn't about changing but rather compromising, learning to live in each others happiness.