||AR-OS|| The Sucker Punch!

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WOW! Okay, this is still incomplete right? I'm dying to read further! So gripping! The cop is the goon! And by the looks of it, the man is Armaan? Nice! I like! Damn interesting! Continue fast please! 

So I found multiple grammatical mistakes in this OS and you say you won some sort of an award for it? Tsk tsk ;p
Also I had a lot of trouble identifying who was who in this OS. I'm a bit slow :\

Considering you're an AR fan, it's so odd to see how you're so fascinated with Armaan killing Riddhima. Although to be honest, I quite like Armaan in this avatar. Somehow I think his character on DMG could also have taken this arc at several points had the writes tried to inject some writing into their screenplay or lack thereof.

I know you think this work is crap or at least not up to the mark but I quite enjoyed it, and more so than your other work. The reason being that there was some sort of a dialogue between the two of them here whereas the other one seemed to me more of a psych lesson. Nevertheless in terms of the whole suspense appeal, I think one could guess that Armaan was the killer somewhere near the middle. Since it was an OS and given the title, I didn't think Armaan would just be a boring cop doing his duty. Also it became obvious that Riddhima would be next on the list when you wrote this: "she could not shake the fear that next time she might not be so lucky"...there were several other such hints where she thought of herself as the sixth victim.

While your earlier title doesn't seem that unique and this one certainly packs a punch (pun intended), I think the older one is more apt. Anyways, I agree with your award...I mean we all know he's gonna go after her but I'd like to see that encounter, regardless of the result. It seems that Riddhima has this subconscious fear that Armaan might be the killer and I'd like to see her reaction when she does finally realize that.

P.S. I loved this rare hilarious moment: "what was I, a flushing system?"Edited by seert - 12 years ago

first of all, congrats for the story telling  contest👏

Wow! Awesum OS!

Look, who's back again! :P  am gonna be right back! :-D Edited by Angel-Pebby - 12 years ago

nice os.
Cmplt it fast.

Wow...I saw ur username in my inbox and I knew I just had to read whatever is it that you had written...a one-shot by one of the most promising writers... 

Edited. So you know how i'm Having a lazy day Today...Its 11:00 pm and i'm already yawning away...I think its due to the lack of sleep i have been getting from the past couple of days. Sheeesh. But Despite all that i thought i'll be nice and Give you your long Pending Comment. How Nice am i Eh?... Anyways enough of me lets talk more about you and this OS.  Have i told How much I love Your Writing Smelly? Why Ofcourse I Have ! I think i have already mentioned it to you like a million times =) But Still I shall Say it again...I LOVE YOUR WRITING! The way you right interrogates me, makes me Think and excites me at the same time aswell lol  and that is what i love about you. Your concepts..They are always Unique. I Loved how how started it off. It has that intresting flow which keeps the reader intrested. Seriously you are a genious. I loved the Interactions between AR, I was so engrossed into. I kind of already guessed that A was the killer, and then you started giving us some lovely Hints, which confirmed by thoughts. lol. All in all, This is a Brilliant Piece of work, I really enjoyed reading it ! You should really continue with this ;) Okies...I am going to hit the bed now. =)

Edited by ParaDiseMb - 12 years ago