Fan Fictions


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Fan Fictions

||AR-OS|| The Sucker Punch!

khahani IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 January 2005
Posts: 4276

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 9:17am | IP Logged

The Sucker Punch!


"Tell me more about the eyes."


Passing me the glass of water, he pressed me for details, without a trace of urgency or haste. It wasn't a gesture of concern, because coming from him, it was like a receptionist's smile - something he was boringly and obligingly accustomed to doing, as part of his job. 

I wasn't mindful enough of his lack of sympathy, just right then. Quite thankfully instead, I drank in a large gulp of the chilled water. Then I took in a deep breath, and closed my eyes to remember what I would have given anything to forget - the sight of those eyes through the face mask... The translucent hazel that turned to steel when they narrowed to focus upon...


My own eyes fell open with a start, a shudder passing through my spine. He sat looking at me intently, and the very distant comprehending part of my mind held onto the subconscious former belief - it wasn't out of concern, but routine. He was being merely patient with me, a crucial witness to this fifth murder case in the neighborhood, which had kept their hands full here at Scotland Yard, this entire awful week of rainy afternoons. In this weatherly respect, today was no different.


"They were cold," I whispered. My voice had refused to come full volume ever since the incident early this morning, sometime before the inset of dawn.




"Nuances of grey ... they turned dark ... very dark when he ... when ... " I inhaled sharply and ran a hand forcefully through the tangled mess of my long tresses. If I'd survived the sight of that ruthless stabbing, surely, I could survive speaking it out loud...?


"I see."


Any other day, any other time, this man would have driven me over the edge. Why here I was, at all my nerves' end, and all he offer me was an 'I see'  ... ? Sure! He could see nothing at all. Nothing! Unknowingly, I had worked myself into something of a breathlessness. Unknowingly also, I was scowling deeply, staring, or rather glaring at him. Perhaps he sensed it, for he met my eye, interrupting his professional strokes on the canvas, sketching the murder suspect.


"Are you alright?" 

There it was, the water glass yet again, raised up for me. I wanted to scream the obvious 'no I'm not!' right into his face; instead I held back and re gathered my dissipating composure. I did however reject his attempt to drown my extreme discomfiture with mere cold water - what was I, a flushing system?


"They were quite like yours," I told him bluntly staring into his eyes, and momentarily, the revelation of my own words shocked even me.


He chuckled inwardly and repressed a smile. Her testimony would never hold in court, if it ever reached that stage, it was smooth sailing from then on. He straightened his face and looked her dead in the eye. "So apart from his irregular eye colour trick, was there anything else unusual you noticed?"


She looked at him exasperated. How could he be so offhand? She had escaped with her life and sitting here, in this room she could not shake the fear that next time she might not be so lucky. "I don't know, I've told you everything."


"Let's just go through it one more time" He turned to face her directly, subconsciously mirroring her movements.


She closed her eyes trying hard to keep her composure. Having to relive the nightmare when it was so fresh in her mind was absolute torture. "I was on my way to work. I was late because I had left my curling iron on and had to go back home to unplug it. When I got off at my stop I decided to take the footpath, I..."


"Do you normally take this route?"

"Yes, when I'm late for work"

"Why is it not your usual route, since it is much quicker?"

"Well... a local gang of boys like to loiter in that footpath"

"Loiter? Gangs? Do they make you uncomfortable?"

"No I just prefer to stay safe" the words sounded so hollow given the situation.

"So these boys are a threat?"


"No... no" she thought about it some more. Could it be one of those boys? But they were only children. Then again they had harassed her on more than one occasion. But it was just whistling and crude comments. They were just boys. The man she had seen, yes it was definitely a man. She shuddered as she recalled the sheer force with which he had dumped the body in a refuse bin.


He watched her intently as he could see every thought roll through her mind. Then her expression changed, he recognized it. She had remembered something. Most of the time the minor details would amount to nothing, he was not fazed.


"He was wearing one of those identity tag, the ones that soldiers wear."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm certain of it, I think it was an army issue one."

"An army issue one?"

"Yes my neighbour has one, I recognized it because it has the two tags but on two different chains."

He kept his cool, "It's not much but it could narrow down our search, that's only if it is a military identity tag."


She leaned back drained, running her fingers through her hair. "I know it's been a long day but let's just go through it one more time, make sure we haven't missed anything," he pulled in his chair and placed his hands on the table. "So then what happened?"


"I walked down the stairs towards the footpath and I slipped on something. When I regained my balance I look down to see a trail of blood" she paused and took a sip of water but could not get rid of the dry bitterness in her mouth. "Then I saw him drag the body from inside the footpath and I hid behind the bins."


"Why did you hide behind the bins? Why didn't you run away?"

"I couldn't," she looked at him holding back the tears "I was scared, I just...  I... hid behind what was closest."

She started to cry, loud muted sobs. Her body shook as she finally let the weight of what had happened sink in. She had escaped with her life. She had been inches away from becoming his sixth victim.

"That's fine for now" he stood up and walked towards her. He rested his hand on her shoulder, "We'll contact you if we need you again."


He walked out of the interrogation room. "Karen, finish that up will you love, thanks." He walked towards his car. He waited five minutes before he opened the glove compartment. It wasn't there. It must've been at home on his bedside table. Yes that's where it was. He drove home. He waited patiently in the lift. He opened his front door and walked calmly into his room. He opened the top draw of his bedside table. It wasn't there. The white hot anger that boiled in his veins erupted in a blind rage. After he was done tearing through his apartment, he went to the bathroom to clean up. And right near his toothbrush was his dad's identity tag. As he placed the tag around his neck he decided. He had found his next victim.

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khahani IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 January 2005
Posts: 4276

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 9:21am | IP Logged

Author's Note: The above story was written for a contest in the 'writer's corner' forum, I was given a short extract as a guideline to produce a plot, therefore the inspiration came from the person who provided the extracts! And the person I am sure we all know is NJ (spln)She is a great a writer! Now that the competition is over the results are out; I thought of sharing it with you all here in the 'fun fiction' forum. This is my second attempt at writing a fictional piece and I only dare to made such an attempt due to the overwhelming Response I received for my previous one-shot: With Venom In Our Hearts...


Also note that Armaan and Riddhima's name has not been explicitly mentioned in the story but I am certain that you can identify who's who.


Press the 'like' button if you happen to like the tale and leave a comment if time permits.

Happy Reading!

Nahida :)

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Munchkin. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 27 September 2010
Posts: 4513

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 9:26am | IP Logged
WOW! Okay, this is still incomplete right? I'm dying to read further! So gripping! The cop is the goon! And by the looks of it, the man is Armaan? Nice! I like! Damn interesting! Continue fast please! 

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-Aria- IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 April 2009
Posts: 3907

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 9:37am | IP Logged
Reserved :)

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seert IF-Rockerz

Joined: 07 July 2008
Posts: 8491

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 11:31am | IP Logged

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GalwayGirl Senior Member

Joined: 25 October 2010
Posts: 542

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 11:36am | IP Logged
first of all, congrats for the story telling  contestClap
this is umm different i must say! liked it all the way
the descriptions were very good and gripping;)  
im hoping that u will continue this! would love to read more on the background of armaan and his intentions.. 

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ARCaskettFan Goldie

Joined: 26 October 2010
Posts: 1218

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 11:43am | IP Logged
Wow! Awesum OS!
bt is dis al or is dere more to cum?

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ScatteredCastle IF-Dazzler

Joined: 04 February 2010
Posts: 2560

Posted: 10 May 2011 at 11:46am | IP Logged
Look, who's back again! :P  am gonna be right back! :-D


Great stuff there, hun! Being an 'AR-love' supporter, I don't know what intrigued me here...and got me to read it, but there was smg that made me read it! and man, am so not dying to read the continuations...which you should, by the way, write/post. If I had been an awesome reader who had read all the entries, I bet I would vote this one for the award you've won! :P 

Naw, I really think it should be transformed into one short-story. (which shall run long, BTW.) *chuckles*  Congrats for winning it, anyway! I'm more than sure you deserve it! :D

had a fun read there, Nahida! It was anything but brilliant. Do as in DO write more often, if its anybody who should, its undoubtedly you! 

Thank you so much for letting me know of you posting it! 
Much love,


Edited by Angel-Pebby - 10 May 2011 at 12:36pm

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