FF Deewani#2 Ch 43, pg149, DISABLED - Page 112

Kala couldn't believe what had happened, this was better than she had anticipated. She had never thought of taking Dutta's life, but the fact that it had happened, had made her so overwhelmed that words failed her. Drinking in victory she could see all her dreams coming true, she didn't have to wait for Bhau to go to prison, for he was now at a place where there was no return.
As for Naku, well she could simply kick her out of the house, claiming she was a bad omen for her Bhau, as Bhau had set out to look for her, and had met his death instead. A perfect superstitious excuse, she thought smirking. Things had turned out much better that she could have ever imagined.
As Kala spoke aloud in her room being certain that no one else was there, she had missed Leela standing in her doorway, who had come to tell Kala that the car which had fallen off the cliff, was confirmed as Bhau's car, and that the dreadful news had arrived that Bhau was no more.

Five days had passed, later that morning news had spread like a house on fire, women had come round dressed in white clothing. Ayi Sahib was a still corpse with nothing to say or nothing to do, Gaurav had been sent to inform Babi of the accident the same morning, so that she could help in making Naku understand the situation better.
When Naku had come out of her room, she saw the display of her husband's picture with a flower garland around it as small fragranced smoke clouds gathered around it from the dozen agarbathi's.
The sight of this had triggered a nerve in Naku's mind, she felt disgusted and appalled to have witnessed such a thing while standing there, anger filling her up, she looked around at the rest of the family members faces, from one to the next, who all had their heads dropped pathetically in remorse, with no one to object to what was in
front of them. Making her mind up she decided that she won't let these unknown faces amongst the known to make a mockery of her love, or of her marital life.
Saab hadn't returned, but that didn't mean he was dead! And until she lived Saab would always live. Fighting in her head with all the thoughts shouting out to her, she hadn't realised when a group of women had come closer to her, taking her away into a farther room attempting to disrobe her and force her into a white coloured suit. However, before they could take her any further she refused rudely, almost pushing two of the women off their feet.
Get away from me and don't touch me!!!! I don't believe a word of it! Naku yelled as loud as she possibly could, her voice repeating over and over again in echo. Mere Saab mujhe kabhie nahin chod ke jaa sakte, kabhie nahin! She shouted again smashing a nearby vase on a small table.

While Naku continued to go on and on in her unwelcoming tone, lots of whispering and murmurings went on in the background, ...the girl's mad, ...besharam hai yeh ladkhi vidwa hai aur dekho kaise bahane dhoond rahi hai, ...iske kadam hi manhoos hai, ...jab se shaadi huwi hai tab se iske Pati ka saath nahin mila isse, ...dokhe se shaadi ki thi iss ladkhi ne kya pata khud hi apne Pati ki kaatil ho. All sorts of voices said in different conversations, speaking ill of her as though she weren't even there.
Bas! Shouted Naku, Mera mere Saab se kya rishta hai woh aap log kabhi nahin samajh sakte! Aur mujhe samjhane ki ki zaroorat bhi nahin hai, chale jaye aap yaha se...jaye ye, she said aggresively rushing forward and pushing one of the women out literally.
Nakusha, tumhari itni himmat kaise hogi, ke tu apne bado ka apman aise karegi, said Kala, chalo maafi mango Kaki Ji se... she said flinging Naku towards the arrogant woman.
Nahin, main maafi nahin maangegi, she said sharply, mere Pati ke zinda hote huwe jo shok manane aaye hai, unke saamne Saab ki biwi ka sar nahin juke ga, she let out inconsiderately, but determined to stand by her words.
Everyone was shocked at Naku's sudden impolite behaviour, although it was understandable that she'd lost her husband, it didn't give her leeway to become so foul mannered, she was literally spitting words out at anyone who tried to tell her her husband was no more. Anyone that had spoken of Dutta being dead had become Naku's worst enemy, not caring of how she came across to others. The people that had gathered to offer their condolences had soon left, leaving Kala behind with enough trouble to instigate Ayi Sahib against Nakusha, as she knew with Dutta gone no one would dare disobey her.

Dekha aapne Ayi Sahib kaise Naku ne humare Bhau ki shanti ki pooja bhang kardi, dekha aapne? She questioned her Mother trying to look distorted and pointing a finger at Naku. Look at how she rudely turned away the kind and generous people that had come to be a part of this sorrowful moment Ayi Sahib. Sach baat tho yeh hai ke man hi man mein yeh khush ho rahi hai ke Bhau ab iss duniya mein nahin raha, jab se yeh humare ghar mein aaye hai tab se isne mere Bhau ko khoon ke ansoon rulaye hai, pehle uss Supriya ke saath mil kar, aur phir Bhau ko apni manhoos shakal ka izhaar kar kar, aur mera bechara Bhau phir se ek baar pyar karne ki galati kar beta...woh bhi iss Nakusha se jiske pata nahin kaha kaha se purane yaar isse utane aaye the uss competition wale din pe...
Tai!!!!! Nakusha shouted as she met Kala's gaze with no fear or respect in her eyes ...main bhool jayegi ke aap Saab ki behen ho, she threatened in her near mental attitude.
Kala had taken this opportunity to slap Naku in the same instant. Dekha aapne Ayi Sahib, aaj tak mere Bhau ne mujhse aise baat nahin ki, aur yeh ladki hai ke Bhau ke jaate hi apna asli rang dikhana shuru kar diya. Madhu stood shocked, aware that Naku's actions weren't justified, but that didn't mean that she should be held culprit for whatever had happened. Tum to ussi gaadi mein jaane wali thi na, jis gaadi mein Bhau tumhe dhoondne nikla tha, to phir tum achanak paidal kaise chali gaye Naku? Hmm bolo? Aisa
kaise hogaya ke jo teri kismat mein tha, woh mere Bhau ki kismat mein pohanch gaya, Kala further provoked.

Things had gone beyond control in Patil Niwas; Ayi Sahib had been so wrapped in Kala's words that she was beginning to believe that whatever Kala was saying had some truth in it. Naku's behaviour had grown wilder, as the argument in the house heated up.
But the tragic thing was that with each question raised Naku seemed to be going more berserk at anyone who used the past tense when discussing Dutta.
Kala felt pleased to see this, as she could use this as an easy excuse to get rid of her proving that Naku wasn't eligible to live amongst sane people, as she was unable to cope with her husband's tragic death. Ayi Sahib, Ayi Sahib aap to mera yakeen karti ho na, karti ho na aap mera yakeen, aap bharosa rakho Ayi Sahib, Saab wapas aayenge, aap Tai ki baaton mein...
Bas Naku... ordered Ayi Sahib, bohut hogaya, bohut dekh liya humne, ab tum bas bhi karo, beta khoya hai humne, kam se kam mujhe apne bete ki aatma ki shaanti'
Ayi Sahib! Naku shouted, ...bas Ayi Sahib...aap yeh kaise... she struggled to find words and without finishing her sentence she ran away to her room and sat there still, patiently waiting for a ray of hope.

Mujhe maaf karde Dutta, jo pehle huwa woh sab meri bhool samajh ke maaf karde, ab main teri zindagi mein wapas aagaye hoon, main hamesha teri khushi ka dhyan rakhungi Dutta... begged Chanda or rather Seema now that Dutta knew who she was.
Meri zindagi main tere liye koi jaga nahin hai Seema, shayad issiliye upar wale ne meri ankhon ki roshini cheenli taake mujhe teri manhoos shakal na dekhni pade, he answered repulsively.
Aisa mat bol Dutta... she sobbed without tears, mujhe pata hai ke tu apni zindagi main khush nahin hai, khud ko mat rokh Dutta kho jao meri bahon mein, apni Seema ke jism mein, karde mere mann ki pyaas tandi Dutta, karle apna barso purana sapna poora, she said as she came closer and wrapped her arms around Dutta from behind.
Dutta closed his eyes feeling her touch and warmth around him, instantly regretting the time he even fell in love with her. There were times he'd thought that he'd never be able to love someone else the way he did her, but today, this very moment was proof that he never did love her. His old aged fear of seeing her again in the future and making him doubt his love for Naku had been laid to rest, as today he only longed for Naku's touch and the warmth provided by her alone.
Seema had been growing around him like poison ivy, mistaking his delay in return of quenching his sexual desires with her. She made way to the front of his chest, and unbuttoned his kurta, taking his hands without permission and placing them on her bare stomach inviting him in to feel her curves, and dropping her sari pallu down to allow him to explore her more freely. Just when she was about to put her hands underneath his kurta Dutta had grabbed her neck and slammed her against the wall with force.
Dutta... she said strangled, yeh tum kya kar rahe ho?
Apne badan pe zeher phelane se rokh raha hoon... he replied squeezing harder.
Kyun Dutta, aisa kyun, kya tum mujhe pyar nahin karte? Tum to kabhie mere liya apni jaan dene keliye tayaar the, aaj bhi tum jo kuch bhi ho meri wajah se ho, she said letting her ego get the better of her. Jo khushi main tumhe de sakti hoon, woh tumhari Patni tumhe kabhie nahin de sakti!
Aye Seema! Agar meri Patni ke khilaaf ek aur shabd bhi boli tho main tera gala yehi pe kaat ke rakh dunga... he quickly turned back to say with his rough voice.
Kyun aisa kya hai tumhari Patni main Dutta, jo mujh mein nahin hai, main yakeen ke saath keh sakti hoon ke mujh se zyaada sundar to nahin ho sakti, to phir usme aise kya hai Dutta??
Tujh jaisi aurat ki haazri mein meri Patni ka zikra karna bhi paap hoga.. he taunted back.
Dekh Dutta main yeh tho nahin keh rahi ke tu mere se shaadi karle, lekin mujhe ek raat dede Dutta, main tere liye yeh raat hamesha keliye yaad gaar bana dungi Dutta... she promised.
Mujhe sharam aati hai ke maine tujh jaisi ghatiya ladki se kabhi pyar kiya tha, ghin aati hai ke tere jaisi ladki ke maine sapne dekhe the... he said throwing a punch ownwards in thin air, regretting every moment spent with her. I can't believe the day has come that you were amongst the only people to find my unconscious body in the whole world, you lied and told them that I was your husband, couldn't you simply let me be, why?! Why did you have to come back to ruin my life and then more over you've kept me here in this unknown god damn place for god knows how long!
I haven't come back to ruin your life, I came to better it Dutta, believe me... she almost begged. I'll bring back every moment I snatched from your life, I promise, but please take me back I beg you.
Never, never in my life would I give you a another chance, I had everything but I ruined it, and now I'm on my way to make things better and you have to come to ruin my life yet again, but no, I don't care who comes in my way, if anyone...and I mean anyone who gets in the way of me and my wife, I will kill them, he said slowly, so that every word registered to her ears.
Dutta you know you're making a mistake, please just think it over just once, I know you think about me all the time, I'm your first love...
Stop it Seema! He roared back at her, having enough of her petty words.
I can't, I won't! What's in your wife that's not in me??!! She finally shouted, throwing her sari pallu off and letting it drag on the ground, as she ran towards Dutta herself around him again, ...it's all yours Dutta, I'm all yours!
This time Dutta wasn't able to control himself, moving away from her, he located her arm and dragged her away from him and slapped her once with the back of his hand, not being able to see Seema falling the floor, ...tum jaan na chahti ho na ke meri Patni mein aisa kya hai jo tujhme nahin hai, to sunno...meri Patni apne poore ke poore kapre pehen kar mujhe khush rakh sakti hai, na ke apne saare kapre utaar ke tumhari tarah, he said in a disgusted voice. After that, all he could hear were her feet running as her sobbing grew louder and her voice more distant.

Naku had stayed in Dutta's room sitting there by his side of the bed and witnessed many days and nights, she couldn't be sure how many. At times she fell asleep, in the same place. Roops or Madhu would often bring her something to eat, without acknowledging that food was even an option, she forced herself to drink water and eat very little just to keep herself going.
Days had passed like this, which many of the house members had gotten used to Naku's extraordinary behaviour, at times many must have even forgotten she still existed in the room upstairs.
Kala had told members of the household to not bother Naku as she was simply attention seeking, Baji had got a little busy with the legal documents that needed to be discussed as Dutta had met with a tragic accident, and the Court date was set for almost a week and a half later, which gave him little time to do anything.
He had told Gaurav to not bring Babi back to Patil Niwas as things hadn't gone down well with Naku, her state was not worth discussing and had told him to keep Babi at home and not to divert her attention toward Naku. He also told him that as soon as he had all the legalities sorted out he would focus on bringing Naku back to reality, so that she would be at least in a suitable position to present to Babi.

 
Naku didn't respond to no one, or speak with anybody she simply sat there in the room all day lifeless, but yet at times trying to do the everyday things to show that she got on with life normally, but silently hoping that every single day Saab would walk through those doors. Each time she looked at the empty doorway she felt it was beginning to taunt her, the emptiness of it with the passing of every day was make her feel annoyed by the very sight of it, like it was mocking her.
She feared that she may even forget to laugh if he'd come too late, the very life leaving her slowly, and with every bit of that life that was leaving her, the moment was bringing
more pain to it than the one before it. Breathing in every breath only to survive simply to see one glimpse of his face, the Sun rising in the morning and the light shed by the Moon at night had meant nothing to her anymore, the nights were pointless and the days were empty.
Her heart constantly fluttering inside of her reminding her that she loved him so much, but just to hang on a little longer, her heart convincing her that she didn't let no one change her mind. Don't let him go, you're the only one holding onto him, and if you forget, he may wander on his path that's leading him back to you. Keep your faith she kept telling herself. People around her didn't understand her love, except she didn't care, all she cared about was the moment her Saab walked through those doors.
Days had passed, she sat there watching the rain fall, watching the Sun go down, seeing the night lean over and cover the day, and then the day breaking back through those dark nights. Her eyes had become dry and grew heavy leaving dark patches underneath, her nails had tattered, clothes disorientated, and her hair ever so greasy, but yet oblivious to all these material things, her soul only awaited the one person who would look beyond all that.

Monday

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Tuesday



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It was the Tuesday morning that the phone call had come. As soon as Naku heard the phone ring once and then cut off, she for some reason seemed to know it was her Saab, she rushed to it and held onto it knowing it would ring again. Not being able to bear it any longer she silently prayed for it ring again. And it did.
Saab... she spoke out as though she'd breathed for the first time in ages.
Not being able to hold himself back any longer from speaking to Naku, he too spoke her name in relief.
Saab... Naku said again just to make sure she'd heard his voice the first time.
Naku... tu...tu ro rahi thi... he said instantly in alert.
Nahin Saab...main ro nahin rahi...bala aise shub mokhe pe koi rota hai kya, she said quickly wiping her tears away and not wanting to waste valuable time discussing her invaluable tears.
Tu duniya se jhoot bol sakti hai Naku, lekin apne Dutta se tu jhoot kabhi nahin bol sakti, he clarified. Maine pehle hi tujhe bohut ansoon de chuka hoon...
Saab...aap aise mat bolo, aap ne mujhe koi ansoon nahin diye, jo huwa woh sab ek bura haadsa tha, jo humari samajh ke bahar hai ab uss waqt ko yaad kar ke koi faida nahi hai.
Naku mujhe maaf...before Dutta could finish apologising, Naku had stopped him right there, ...Saab mujhe sharminda mat keejiye, mere se maafi maang kar aap mujhe..
Kiss mithi ki bani hai tu Naku... questioned back Dutta not letting her finish her sentence.
Naku let out a loose grin hearing these words, ...hmph kaash main keh sakti thi ke Saab...main kaali mithi se bani hoon.
Hearing Naku speak the same words she once used while talking to him, he felt a peculiar satisfaction trailing through him, ...jo bhi ho Naku, hai to tu wohi Naku jo ussi kaali mitthi se bani hai, meri Naku, jo hamesha meri hi rahegi.
Speaking with Dutta after such a long time, Naku began feeling shy from what Dutta was saying on the phone, partly glad that Dutta couldn't see her cheeks flush from such a mild flavoured conversation.
Kya huwa Naku.. Dutta asked, somehow feeling her silence and slow breathing in the phone to have been replaced by a much shy and coy Naku, who was probably pleased that he couldn't see her right now, which reminded him that he hadn't told her of his eyesight as yet, but that could wait. He didn't want to ruin the moment he was having with Naku after such a long time. Tum kahin sharma to nahin rahi ho.. he said further knowing that's exactly what she'd been doing.
N...n..naa...nahin Saab, woh... she stuttered.
Ab dekho na meri kismat ko Naku, jab tu itna sharma thi thi, tab tu woh kaala rang pehen kar rakthi thi, aur mujhe teri gulabi gaal kabhi dekne ko nahin mile, aur aaj jab tu apne gore rang mein sharma rahi hai, to main tujhse itni door hoon...
Saab aap kaise ho, kis haal mein ho aap aur kahan, sab ko kitni chinta ho rahi hai... she felt the sudden need to inform without being able to hold herself back any longer.
Tu sach keh rahi hai Naku? Yah phir hamesha ki tarah sirf tu he jisne ab tak meri raah dekhna choda nahin... listening out for her answer he heard nothing, ..to phir maine sahi bola, sab ki umeed toot gaye hai, tujhe chod kar.
Aap itne dino se laa pata the Saab ke sab... she stopped suddenly as she tried to stop her voice from breaking.
Dutta squeezed his eyes shut to avoid letting the pain from Naku's voice flood his eyes, and clenched onto the phone until his palms turned sweaty. Aye Naku...tu ab aur nahin roye gi, mujhe vaada kar ke jab tak main waapas nahin aajata tu apna dhyan rakhegi, vaada kar Naku, he instructed.
Hmm... was all Naku could let out meekly. Pann Saab...aap kab aoge...aur main ghar mein sab ko batade ke aap...
Nahin Naku, jab tak main tujhe dubara phone nahin karta tab tak tu kisi ko kuch nahin batayegi, theek hain... he answered without letting her finish her question.
Before he could hang up Naku called out one last time, she couldn't believe her Saab was alive, her belief was not a waste of time, but her short conversation with him didn't relieve her, she wished she could talk all day with her Saab.
Kya huwa Naku.. said Dutta concerned.
Kuch nahin Saab, woh bas...aap ke bager mere ko yahan kuch acha nahin lagta... she confessed at the slip of her tongue.
Internally Dutta felt amused at Naku's childish words, it was like a girl talking to her boyfriend for the first time on the phone, he could imagine her on the other end playing with the coil of the phone in her nervousness, Naku's ability to drive him crazy without any contact still had its charm. Tu kab se aam insaano wali baatein karne lagi Naku, tu to jaanti hai ke main wahan na hote bhi sirf tere saath hoon, and then to lighten her mood he changed the subject. Aur waise bhi jab main tere paas aajaonga tab tu mujhse door door bhaage gi, he teased.
Saab...aap bhi na... aisa kuch nahin hai, woh to bas jab ghar ke kaam hote hai sirf tab... she corrected.
Kaam...to theek hai agli baar tu sirf mere kaam karegi, phir to koi bahana to nahin chalega... he amused and then grew silent, Naku tu jaanti hai jab meri gaadi ke break fail huwe the, tab mere dimakh me sirf ek baat dorahti thi, ke main tujhe yeh baat nahin bataa paya ke main tujhe apni jaan se bhi zyaada pyaar karta hoon. When I called you today it was for one reason only Naku, I don't know what my fate holds anymore, but I didn't want to lose out on any moment to tell you how much I love you Naku. I just called to say... I love you.