Khuda Aur Mohaabat: English Novel!!. - Page 4

CHAPTER 28

     THE LAST MEETING

Since morning that day, patches of clouds had been running after one another like naughty children. At last, the cold weather of September had set in, the heat of the sun had lost its intensity and the shadows had become long and cold. Finally, the mischievous patches of clouds caught one another and the whole sky was covered with dark clouds. When the first drop of rain kissed my forehead, I was unloading the luggage from the goods train that used to arrive at eleven. Heavy rain started in a few minutes and labourers began running here and there in search of some shelter from rain. Ghafura began calling me from a veranda which had a tin and wooden roof. He was urging me to come there to protect myself from the falling rain. I wonder why people like to hide from rains which wash away all the impurities of the body and the mind. In the meantime, from the last end of the platform, Mr. Siddiqi's servant was seen coming towards me. He had an umbrella and was taking long strides in the rain water that had already gathered there. He informed me that someone wanted to talk to me on the telephone in Mr. Siddiqi's office.

    "Someone wants to talk to me?" I mumbled in astonishment. But there was no more time for further questions and answers and I went after him towards the office. With the signal of my hand, I told Ghafura from some distance that I was going to attend a telephone call. By the time I reached Mr. Siddiqi's office, I was completely wet with rain water. And before entering the office, I had to wipe off the rain water from the whole body. As I entered the office, I saw a number of visitors or passengers gathered around Mr. Siddiqi's table. He had two lines of the same number. One of the telephone sets was placed on his table while the other one lay on the head clerk's table in the same room. Most of his calls were received by his head clerk, but at that time, both telephone sets were lying silently on their cradles. As I looked enquiringly towards Bashir, without taking his eyes away from the files, Mr. Siddiqi remarked, "The call was becoming longer and I told the caller to call after some time. Sit down here; we may again receive the call at any moment."

   I sat down in the chair in front of the head clerk's table.

   "It was a girl's call," whispered Bashir into my ears.

    In utter amazement, I looked towards him, but there was no information on his face except an innocent smile. Who could be this girl who was calling me at Mr. Siddiqi's number? Outside, it was raining cats and dogs and as far as I could see through the window, everything at the platform and the station seemed to have been washed by the shower of rain. With their black umbrellas, people were hurriedly going about here and there. In the morning some people had closely watched the changing weather and were expecting heavy rain. They had come out of their homes wearing long overcoats. Now, with the raised collars of their overcoats, they were looking towards, hoping to be praised for their ability to foresee this heavy rain. Then suddenly, the telephone bell rang. I was so much lost in my thoughts that I almost jumped from my seat. Bashir attended the call.

    "Yes, he's here. You can talk to him."

   I got the receiver from Bashir.

   "Hello, it's Hammad speaking."

    A soft and delicate voice was heard from the other side. "Hello,"

    "Who's on the line?"

    "I'm Haya."

   I almost dropped down the receiver. Was it really Haya calling to me in this heavy rain?"

   "But how did you get my number? I mean is everything O.K.?"

   Haya seemed to be somewhat worried and in some hurry. "Yes, all is well. Can you come to the old Haveli at four this evening?"

   "Old Haveli? Yes, I'll surely be there. But----"

    "Don't ask any questions. With a great deal of difficulty I'm talking to you from our neighbour's house. I only want to convey the message to you from my sister Iman that you must be there at the right time. It's most urgent. Do come at four and the rest of the discussion will take place there. Good-bye."

    "Iman's message? O my God! What was that girl doing? Was Iman also coming to the old Haveli that evening? In order to stop her I said, "Hello, please listen to me."

   But the line had been dropped from the other side. A violently fast torrent of rain struck against the window with a fierce gust of wind which forced open the window and several things in the room became wet with the rain water. Bashir at once shut the window while I still sat silently. What did Haya actually want to say? Why had Iman invited me to the old Haveli that evening? Was she herself really coming to the Haveli? But how's it possible" She's going to be married after three weeks. How can she leave her home in such circumstances? But then why did Haya call me to the old Haveli and say that there was Iman's message for me? Iman might have sent a message for me in response to Ghalib's couplets which I sent to her.

   A few days ago, Mr. Siddiqi had allotted to me a small wooden hut having a tin roof, situated at the end of a road covered with trees at the back of the station. A long time ago, several such huts had been built for the unmarried railway officials. When one of these huts became vacant, it was temporarily allotted to me by Mr. Siddiqi. After attending the telephonic call, I got up from Bashir's table and quietly went to my hut, where I sat for a long time, while the rain drops falling on the tin roof were producing a typical musical sound. It appeared as if rain had decided to fall that day with all its force and intensity. Had it been some other day, I would surely have enjoyed this rain and the musical sound produced by it on the tin roof. During my childhood, whenever there was such heavy rain, Kamran and I used to rush to my grandmother's tin roofed room in her Haveli. There, by banging the table, we used to make unsuccessful attempts to mould the sound of the rain or hailstones falling on the roof into various musical tunes. Along with this sound, we used to sing loudly all the favourite songs of our childhood. But while sitting in my hut that day, my whole attention was focused on Haya's telephone call. The next few hours were spent in the same process and I was suddenly roused from my day dreaming when the large clock at the station struck three.

   Oh! By now, I must have left the station. I wondered whether I would get some conveyance or not in this downpour. As I looked around, I saw my only shirt and pants hanging in my room. As usual, Ibrahim the servant had got them washed and ironed from the railway washerman. I quickly changed my dress but then I laughed at myself. I had removed my wet uniform but I did not have an umbrella to protect my pants and shirt which I was wearing now. Anyhow, there was no time left for me to look for some umbrella. I swiftly came out of the room and walking under the cover of trees, reached the platform. On account of the heavy rain, there was nobody there. After coming out of the main building of the station, I looked around in search of some conveyance. The few tongas and taxis that passed by, had passengers in them. Khairu was also not seen there. Instead of standing there and wasting my time, I thought it better to walk on the long road in the hope of finding some conveyance. Rain was continuously piercing into my whole body. Although I was quite away from the station, I had not yet found any conveyance and I became apprehensive that I would not be able to reach the old Haveli at the appointed hour, because it was already 3-30 and I was still in the city. I was bitterly angry with myself for not coming out of the station earlier. But then, all of a sudden, Nature had some mercy on my helplessness and frustration. After crossing the Litton Road, I had now entered the cantonment area and was about to reach near the Staff College Road, when I suddenly saw a tonga which was perhaps going back after dropping some military passengers at the Staff College. I at once signaled the tonga driver to stop, put my hand into my pocket brought out all the money I could find, gave it to the driver and told him to take me to the old Haveli within the shortest possible time. He at once spurred the horse and with a great speed, the tonga started running on the paved road which had been washed by the rain shower. On account of the dark clouds, there already prevailed the late evening darkness and in that situation, whenever there was a blaze of lightning, it appeared as if someone had whitewashed the whole atmosphere for a moment. As the clouds were thundering loudly in the continuous downpour, the galloping horse was soaking wet with the rain water; and as it snorted in excitement, it produced clouds of hot steam in the air. After leaving the paved road, the horse was now on its way to the old Haveli, passing through the puddles of rain water on the unpaved wet ground. The tonga driver did full justice to the large sum that I had paid to him as fare and dropped me at the gate of the old Haveli at exact four. Another tonga was already standing there and it seemed that some other passengers had also come there a short while ago; but in view of the hostile weather, they had told the tonga driver to stop there and take them back after some time. The driver of my tonga offered that he could wait for me for some time and take me back if I so desired. I accepted his offer and told him to wait for me. As both the tonga drivers got busy in talking to each other, I opened the wet wooden gate of the Haveli and went in. A strange type of sadness and silence prevailed in the whole atmosphere. All of a sudden, the Haveli's old watchman Allah Bakhsh appeared from somewhere and after saying Salaam to me, informed me that Nighat had just gone towards the round room. All the old servants of the Haveli had witnessed my childhood and perhaps, all of them knew my secrets. All of them knew about my leaving the home and my occasional visits to the old Haveli to meet Shakir and Nighat. They also knew that my family members were unaware of my coming to the old Haveli, but none of them had ever informed my father or mother about it. Perhaps, by doing so, they had endorsed my decision to leave my home. After meeting Allah Bakhsh, I went towards the courtyard, at the end of which there was the veranda. During the summer season, a number of large wooden reed screens were spread in front of the veranda. But now, all the reed screens had been folded up and tied to a strong rope hanging in the veranda. The dust coloured water was speedily flowing down from the drain pipes built on the rooftop of the veranda. Passing through the small mud brick drains, the water was going into the flower beds. With the exception of the sound of the falling and flowing of water, everything seemed silent and still. As I turned towards the round room in the veranda, I saw Haya wrapped in a white sheet standing in one corner. She was standing with her hands outstretched in an attempt to catch the spray of water falling down from the drainpipes built on the rooftop of the veranda. On seeing me, she immediately pulled back her hand and greeted me with Salaam. I went to her and said, "How did you reach here in this weather? Is everything all right?"

   She gave a gentle smile. "Even in ordinary fine weather, we are unable to leave our home. But the four lines written by you forced us to come here. You left us with no other option."

   I was rather confused by her reply. "I couldn't understand what you mean."

   Then suddenly, I thought of Nighat. "Where's Nighat? What are you doing here alone?"

   With her typical mischievous expression in her eyes, she pointed towards the room. "I'm not alone. Go to that room and meet her."

    In a state of surprise and confusion I went towards the room. If Nighat had been inside the room, why was Haya standing alone in the dripping rain in the veranda? Perhaps, the supply of electricity had been disconnected shortly after the start of the rain and there was only the light of a few candles in the room. As I opened the door, I could see nothing in the darkness. But then, with a loud thunder of clouds, there was a flash of lightning and for a moment, everything became bright. There was some movement in a silky body that could be seen shrinking beside the wall in one corner of the room. With the flicker of the flame of a candle placed on a nearby mantelpiece, the same strand of hair became visible on her forehead and the whole room became bright with her light. It was Iman. Of course, it was Iman. Stunned by this wonderful miracle, I stood outside the door for a while in a state of disbelief, trying to convince myself that it was not a dream. I thought that it must have been a dream because since ages, my fate had not been so kind to me. But it was Iman, clad in a simple white dress and covered in a black shawl. Perhaps, Iman and Haya had come there in the other tonga that stood outside the Haveli but moisture produced by the rain drops could still be seen in her hair and on the forehead and even in the lock that hung along her forehead. Sitting in one corner of the room, she was as usual, scratching the carpet with the nails of her delicate feet. With her lowered head, she greeted me with Salaam. For a few moments, I stood dumbfounded and speechless. Then, after a great deal of effort, I was able to utter a few words. "You? Here? Just a minute please, it will take me some time to believe that I'm really so fortunate."

   I noticed a red line of modesty moving across her face. Then, she lifted her head and looked towards me. She wanted to say something but finding me wet in rain, she became rather worried. "Oh, you are terribly wet. I'll ask Nighat to arrange some towel for you."

   She tried to stand up, but I interrupted her talk because I was afraid that if once she left the room, this most delightful dream of my life would be shattered. "Please remain sitting, I'm all right, and everything will dry up in a few minutes time. Don't go anywhere please."

   I quickly moved away from the door and went near her. She was about to stand up but again sat down. Now, she was only at a distance of two steps from me and I could feel the trembling of her body. I sat there near her and felt how she was shrinking with modesty and shyness. I wondered whether she was a girl or a bunch of flowers. For the next few moments, she sat there silently with her bowed head, making unsuccessful attempts to control the trembling of her body while I continued watching her without winking my eyes as the interval of winking the eyes seemed quite odious to me at that time. She was sitting in front of me and I could not decide whether to watch her or talk to her. Never in my life had it been so much difficult for me while talking to someone. The silence existing between us was only broken by the rain that was pouring down outside. It seemed as if both of us had a burning desire to speak out the tumultuous passions of our hearts but we had suddenly lost all of our words. Then, with her dainty hands, she took out a wrapped piece of paper on which I had written a few couplets of Ghalib and sent to her. I knew that Nighat would surely convey it to her.

    "What a strange thing you wrote to me. I only requested you to give up your obstinacy and go home. Why don't you agree to do what I want you to do?"

   She became a bit emotional while speaking. As I looked towards her carefully, she looked much weaker than before. Her face had turned pale and blue veins were vividly visible on the back of her delicate hands. "You seem to be ill. Are you all right?"

    She cast a wounded look on me. "I've come here to get a promise from you that you would no more torture yourself. You can't imagine my plight when I saw you at the railway station as a coolie. I bitterly condemned myself for everything that had happened. If you hadn't seen me, nothing of this sort would have happened."

   "For God's sake, don't say so. Seeing you has been the most fascinating accident of my life and Loving you has turned out to be the most blissful experience of my apparently meaningless life. This love enabled me to recognize myself, otherwise, I would have departed from the world, without the joy of self-recognition Now, I've got no complaints about my life and now, I'm even ready to welcome death with open arms."

    She was shocked to hear my words. "Why do you say such things? Why do you degrade me in my own eyes again and again? Why?"

   Before the completion of her sentence, she burst into tears, but before her two large tears could fall down on the ground, I bent forward and caught them in my palms. Then, under the force of some indescribable passion, I held her soft velvet hands into my own hands. There was another burst of thunder outside and the rain further intensified. While the skies were weeping outside, tears were raining down from our eyes inside the room. As soon as I caught her hands, a huge torrent of tears streamed out of my eyes. Instead of consoling her, I myself was weeping with the storm of tears bursting out of my eyes. I was holding her soft hands while she sat with her bowed head. Could there be a more blessed moment than this for breathing one's last and leaving this world? With her wet eyes, she looked towards me and it was for the first time that I got a chance to observe her bewitching beauty from so near. Nothing was lacking in her beauty and her whole structure seemed to be the master creation of a master painter. Her star like forehead, her large black eyes, her thin elegant nose, the curve of her chin and her delicate lips like red rubies, were all unique and marvelous. There was a strange radiance on her face. With my fingers, I wiped away the tears from the tips of her eyes. She again spoke in a low tone. "Would you accede to my request, Hammad?"

   For the first time, she called me by my name and never in my life had I felt my name to be so sacred, respectful and dreamful as I did at that moment.

   "If it can give you some pleasure, I'll do it as well for your sake."

   She gently pulled away her hands from my grip, untied her head cover took out something from it and put it in her fist. As she opened her fist before me, I saw in it those two shining pearls which I had sent back to her through Nighat. "They are yours. You were insisting that I should personally return them to you. Today, I've fulfilled this desire of yours. Keep them with you. I've got nothing else to present to you."

   While she was uttering these words, she again burst into tears and hid her head in her knees. I was at a loss to understand how to console her, because she looked more wounded than I was. I got the pearls from her touched them with my eyes, kissed them and put them in my pocket.

   "Please Iman, stop crying. These two pearls are more precious for me than all the blessings of this universe. What else can a person give to another? Honestly speaking, my love now seems something disdainful to me. It has taught me how to weep but today, it has also filled your eyes with tears. I'm very bad indeed and much worse is my love."

    Shocked by my words, she lifted her head and unintentionally gripped my hand, as if she had not liked my words and wanted me to stop saying such things.

   "Don't talk like that. If someone is to be blamed, it's me. If someone is to be condemned, it's me. Alas, I couldn't give you anything in response to your love. You can't imagine Hammad, how helpless and powerless I am. Throughout his life, my father has never seen any real joy. While Haya and I were still very young, our elder brother suddenly fell ill and passed away. Till this day, Father has not been able to forget that grief. But he arranged for me and Haya every worldly comfort and convenience which a child can be desirous of. He himself continued to wear patched clothes but never allowed our dresses to become dirty. After our brother's sad demise, Father pinned all hopes on me, arranged for me worldly and religious education at home and provided me all the required books. He takes maximum delight in discussing various problems with me. I am his day, his night and his whole world. Even the slightest blemish on my character can take his life. He was much perturbed by your stormy love and hastily arranged my marriage; otherwise, he wanted me to get further education and had sent my B.A. admission. But everything was swept away in your fanaticism, infatuation and craze." As she spoke, she looked like a marble statue and I listened to her dumbfounded. "Do you also regard my love, infatuation and craze as false?"

   Iman tightened her grip on my hands and I felt that by clasping my hands, she would squeeze out my soul. "In the beginning, when you invited me to this Haveli through Nighat, I really disliked this whole affair very much. Till that time, like my father, I also strongly despised all such things. Your entire struggle to gain my attention appeared to me as a frivolous attempt by an aristocratic young lad to get cheap entertainment and amusement at the expanse of a poor innocent girl. Later, when your family members humiliated my father with their disparaging remarks, I was heart broken to think that they had punished us for something wrong done not by us but by you. Later, when I came to know from Nighat that you had abandoned your home, I considered it to be an emotional decision taken in a temporary fit of passion and thought that you would return home after a few days. Afterwards, I noticed that my father often remained worried. Since the day you came here with your marriage proposal till now, I haven't seen him sleeping peacefully. He is often seen walking throughout the night. My mother is a simple woman who can only share her husband's sorrow by weeping. Later, Abdullah informed me of your regularly coming to the mosque. But quite surprisingly, he has never used any harsh words for you, despite knowing everything. I couldn't believe that a person can renounce the whole world for the sake of someone whom he hasn't met properly even twice. But at last, the same thing happened which my heart had been refusing to admit till that day. The sight of you as a labourer at the railway station suddenly altered the course of my life, smashed all my pride and changed all my previously held views about love. Your love came like a violent storm and penetrated into the innermost cores of my heart, after breaking open all its locks. I couldn't do anything. On that day I realized that in some remote corner of my heart, I had been nursing this love since that day when you blocked my way in the library of this Haveli. But perhaps, till that time, I was unaware of the force of this passion and could not recognize it. But then came that railway station episode which almost killed me and since then, I haven't been able to enjoy even a single peaceful moment. I always think that love is a strange passion that transforms an emperor into a beggar and a beggar into an emperor within no time. It is an invisible pain that continuously pierces into the heart with each and every breath. How helpless and powerless I've become under the force and pressure of this passion, you can't simply imagine it."

   Full of astonishment, while I was listening to her, she seemed to me some princess of the fairyland and whatever she was saying, resembled some tale of the Arabian Nights. Within these few moments, my apparently worthless love had suddenly become credible and my wild goose chase had assumed glory and become meaningful. She continued her discourse,

"The two couplets that you sent to me proved to be the last nail in the coffin. Previously, I had decided never to meet you and never to reveal to you the true condition of my heart, because, any such meeting would only be an exercise in futility. But those two couplets revolutionized my whole inside being and tears spontaneously gushed forth from my eyes. Someone inside me was loudly shouting to me that I must not let you go without saying something to you, because it would amount to an insult of your immortal love. This is how I decided to meet you for the first and last time. There was another flash of lightning outside and inside the room there was some light for a moment which enabled me to notice the frozen dew on her quivering lips. She informed me that the Maulvi had gone outside the city for two days in connection with some urgent piece of work and this gave her a chance to arrange the meeting. After getting the station Master's phone number from Nighat, she sent Haya to the neighbour's home in order to call me and invite me to the Haveli that evening. She further stated that she alone knew what an uphill task it had been for her to reach the Haveli in that inhospitable weather. If Haya and Nighat had not assisted her in this adventure, she would not have been able to meet me. I could now very well imagine the traumas through which she had been passing during the [past few weeks. The constant emotional strain and stress had wrecked her to such an extent that time and again, she was out of breath while talking. I bitterly scolded myself for having dragged that simple, innocent and flower-like girl on the thorny path of love. The deadly venom of love had penetrated into her whole existence. But I was even more critically wounded than her. But who was to blame for the whole tragedy? Of course, it was love that had ruined both of us. But love cannot be described as the real culprit. The real culprit was He who sowed the seed of love in our hearts, and nourished its venomous offshoots to such a degree that their deadly poison had now thoroughly devastated both of us and brought us to the point of death. Of course, the real culprit was He who creates the passion of love in the hearts of weak human beings and then amuses Himself watching its fatal impacts on them. Iman was still crying. "I know that by confessing my love, "I've committed a cardinal sin today. I fear that God may never forgive me for this sin, because love without any lawful relationship becomes a sin. But my Creator is also aware of the fact that I was left with no alternative other than meeting you. I couldn't see you ruining yourself for my sake. Perhaps, the rest of my life would be consumed in begging forgiveness for this sin. But I want you to make a solemn commitment with me that you would no more torture yourself for the sake of your love for me. It's our last meeting but I'm sure that you won't let this first and last real meeting with you to end up in vain. It is my earnest desire that if ever again your name comes into prominence in any context, it should not be accompanied by all such self-annihilating and self-destructive ideas. For the sake of my happiness, I've come here to ask for your happiness."

   In a state of shock, I looked towards her. "If you had asked for my life, I would have readily given it to you because it's in my power, but don't ask me to do something which I'm myself powerless to do."

    "Why? Isn't it possible to spend the few remaining years of this brief life relishing the memories of this joyful meeting? I'm confident that I'll certainly be with you in the next world, if not in this world.

    The confidence and conviction of that ravishing girl made me virtually speechless for a while. I could very well imagine the crippling trauma through which she was passing at that moment. I knew that she was being torturously pricked by her conscience for doing something which she regarded as a grave sin; and in this state of utter helplessness, she won't be able to express her love freely. In those few moments, the concept of divine punishment and reward in the light of sinful and virtuous deeds seemed to me as something most abominable and most detestable. I had a feeling that religion was once again ruthlessly plundering my love.

   There was no let up in the heavy rain outside and the rain drops were continuously falling on the rooftop in a rhythmic manner. Inside the room, there were the quivering shadows of the candles trying to diffuse the impact of the advancing darkness. In this dream-like atmosphere, she was sitting with me with her folded knees, looking extremely restless tense and upset. Her strand of hair had become wet and had once again descended on her cheeks. In this state of ecstasy and under the force of an uncontrollable passion, I removed the lock from her cheek and placed it back on her forehead. In extreme nervousness she looked towards me and almost bent due to shyness and modesty. Then, she looked towards the old wall clock and almost jumped up in confusion.

   "O my God! It's too late. I must be on my way back before it's too dark outside. Mother must be terribly worried about us at home as we've never been away from home for so long."

   I felt as if I had been suddenly stabbed by someone. So at last, this most fascinating dream of my life was about to be over. Iman was going and when I requested her to stop for a while, she revealed her helplessness in the form of tears. I knew that she won't be able to stop any more. If Nature had taught us some means of halting the flow of time, I would surely have earned a few more moments in exchange for all the blessings of the heavens and the earth. Someone came outside the room and gently knocked at the door. As Iman immediately picked up her black shawl, Nighat and Haya momentarily appeared at the door and then disappeared. They had also come there to make us realize the swift passage of the murderous time. Iman anxiously looked towards me. "I'm waiting for your promise."

   I helplessly looked towards her. While leaving my home, I also made some promises with the members of my family and I must honour them, lest someone should cast doubts about the truth of my love. But you may go home without any tension and I'll do whatever you wish. I only want some more time lest I should be degraded in my own eyes."

   Iman shook her head. "No, it will never happen."

   Now she looked somewhat calm and relieved. "I know you would never disappoint me."

  As she turned to leave, I was seized by an overwhelming desire to clasp her in my arms forever. Having reached near the door, she again turned around and saw me. Despite her enormous self-control, tears again appeared in her large black eyes. For a moment, we saw each other and then she went out of the room. With all my restlessness, I ran after her. Nighat and Iman were already present in the veranda waiting for her. Seeing tears in her eyes, both of them were on the verge of breaking down but as they saw me, they at once wiped away the tears from their eyes with their head cover. With her bowed head, Haya was standing with Iman in front of me. Apparently, I was a stranger for her but with all her sincerity, she had done for me whatever she could do. It was she, who had enabled me to have that rare meeting with Iman, despite all the obstacles and difficulties. Quite involuntarily, I placed my hand on her wet head. Feeling the pressure of my hand on her head, she was startled and noticing my hand on her head, she couldn't control herself and burst into tears. I pressed her head against my shoulder and tried to console her. Perhaps, the entire universe was shedding tears at that time. Outside the veranda, the skies were shedding tears while inside the veranda, tears were gushing forth from the eyes of Nighat and Haya. The tonga driver blew the horn and Iman rushed towards the gate. But while she was on her way, she was repeatedly looking towards me with her tearful eyes. Standing at the gate with her dazzling beauty, she cast a final glance on my ill fated face and then vanished forever, like the moon which shines for a while in the sky and then disappears into a cluster of dark clouds. I sat down on my knees in the veranda and wished to cry and shout so loudly as to smash up the heavens and the earth.

   After Iman's departure that day, I realized that in case of true love, the agony of meeting the beloved is always much more severe and vicious than the pain and suffering of not being able to meet her. The fire of love instead of dying down further flared up in my heart after my last meeting with her. It seemed to me that everything would be burnt to ashes in this violent and uncontrollable fire. I had promised with Iman to return home to my family but I had not yet decided how to fulfil that promise. Sometimes, I thought of leaving the city permanently after conveying a false message to Iman through Nighat that I had returned home. Nighat was the only link between me and her and I knew that she (Nighat) would agree to tell this lie to her for my sake, as it might prove to be our last lie. But then, this very idea made me ashamed of myself. How could I tell a lie to her who had put at stake all the valuable assets of her life and come to me to honour my love and in the hope that I would surely do what she wanted me to do. I was at a loss to understand what to do. The more I thought about the matter, the more confused I became.  She had asked me if it was not possible to spend the whole life relishing the memories of just one meeting. Now I thought that such a thing was possible but for this purpose, it was necessary to deprive me of all my senses and my memory immediately after that one meeting. After that meeting, my memory was proving to be my worst enemy. Even after the passage of one week, I could still imagine her sitting in front of me. I could still feel her familiar fragrance in my breaths and hear her sweet melodious voice and the jingle of her bangles echoing in my ears. What a strange and wonderful meeting it was which had made me utterly forgetful of all the happenings of my previous life. I had forgotten all my likes and dislikes, all my feelings, tastes and sensations and in fact, the whole of my existence and even my shadow which I had prior to this meeting. It appeared to me as if I had come into existence and perished during that single day when I had my last meeting with her.

   It was perhaps the ninth day after my meeting with Iman. In these early October days, the sun had started setting early and before the setting of the sun, the golden sunshine seemed pleasantly warm in the slightly cold atmosphere. This golden colour of the sun was gradually increasing with the advancing cold weather. For a long time that evening, I had been sitting in that particular corner of the platform from where I could see the sun finally setting behind a mountain that stood in front of me. Then suddenly, I saw Shakir coming towards me. In those days, for some unknown reason, whenever I saw an old acquaintance of mine, my heart was filled with strange fears and apprehensions. Shakir did not stay with me for a long time that evening. He had come to deliver Nighat's letter to me. Talking about the members of my family, he told me that Mother had been completely devastated inwardly because of my prolonged disappearance from home. She had several heated discussions with the Commissioner about me. By now, all the members of my family had come to know  that instead of shifting to Karachi or Islamabad, or going to Kamran in London, I had been living somewhere in Quetta. Someone who had seen me might have informed me about my presence in the city. But I knew very well that they must have gone in search of me in the five star hotels and main guest houses of the city, because, they could have never imagined me working at the railway station as a coolie. While leaving, Shakir said, "O Mr. Hammad, by kicking away all the material pleasures and comforts of life, you've assured your family and the whole world of the greatness of your passion. Now, I humbly request you not to refuse to go home if the members of your family want to see you back with them. Nighat remembers you a lot. She's going to be married next month and if it's possible for you, please come to see her once before her marriage. Now I beg your leave."

   After hugging me, Shakir went away and I opened Nighat's letter, each and every word of which indicated that it must have been written in a state of intense agony and pain.

   "My dear brother, I knew very well that no one would be able to stand against your passions. What seemed to be impossible has now become possible only due to the force of your crazy love. Even a girl like Iman had to yield before your passion. I've always been and shall always be proud of you. Iman is a delicate and innocent girl and, therefore, I request you to pray for her, because I know that your prayers never go ungranted. Since her meeting with you, she has been burning with fever and her condition is worsening all the time. Her mother thinks that the fever has resulted from her becoming wet in the cold rain water but I firmly believe that it is the outcome of the intense passion of love that you have awakened in her heart. It's for the first time that she has experienced this passion because till now, she has been quite unaware of any such passion. I didn't want to tell you about Iman's deteriorating condition because she strictly prohibited me from doing so. But Haya has urged me to tell you everything and requested you to pray for Iman's recovery. May all your sorrows be given to me and may you get all my joys."

   Sisters are indeed quite innocent creatures who cannot understand the simple fact that somehow or the other, all of us have to endure the pains and sufferings of our share in this world. I was much worried by Nighat's letter. Haya was expecting me to pray for her sister without realizing that if my prayers had been so powerful and effective, Iman would have surely become mine. In those agonizing and painful moments, I wished to have wings in order to fly to her in the twinkling of an eye. Moreover, I was extremely angry with myself because it was I who had filled her veins with the deadly poison of love; and quite surprisingly, people were expecting me to provide some antidote for it. It is true that love descends upon the body like a pleasant pink weather but gradually, this weather is transformed into a violent and destructive fire which burns into ashes all the fragrant flowers and beautiful butterflies. Furthermore, the scorching heat of religion was also quite sufficient to burn the whole existence of that delicate innocent creature. Her sense of guilt on talking to a stranger was enough to keep her in a constant state of agony throughout the rest of her life. The effect of this heat was redoubled by the fire of love and I could very well imagine its accumulated impact on her. I knew that her whole existence was being roasted up in this war of love and religion. Religion was pulling her towards Maulvi Alim while love was pushing her towards me. In this tug of war, her fragile body was being shattered into bits and her soul was being fragmented. I was still unable to understand why religion has always been against such love. If this type of love is a sinful crime, why does this crime bring joy and pleasure for the lovers instead of sorrow, fear and sense of remorse and regret? Why do the lovers wish to commit this crime again and again? I believe that whenever we commit a sin, we are filled with remorse although for a few moments. But the sin of love is strange because, with every passing moment, it appears as more charming and more beautiful than before. Instead of bringing death for the lovers, it always infuses a new spirit into their bodies. If it is the case, should I conclude that the religious formula or interpretation of love has always been wrong? On one hand religion teaches us to love our fellow human beings, animals, plants, flowers and even the insensate objects but on the other hand, it describes  as a sin even that form of love in which the lovers only wish to see and talk to each other. Why is this contradiction? Religion regards this form of love as a sin because it is apprehensive that at some later stage, when the lovers get some moments of solitude, they may be overpowered by low and vulgar passions. But if physical satisfaction has never been among the priorities of some lovers, can their love become acceptable to religion? If not, why not? Instead of trying to restrict love, religion should only try to restrict the passion that is born out of love. I was utterly unable to understand the religious philosophy about love. It was love that had brought me closer to religion. But now when religion was preventing me from love, I was naturally drifting away from religion. I believed that religion was directly responsible for the present pathetic condition of Iman. In this miserable situation, I wished to go to Maulvi Alim, fall down on his feet and request him not to erect the wall of religion in the path of our love and instead of shackling our feet with the chains of religion, he should enable us to enjoy love and allow our affairs to be decided by love and not by religion. But I was completely helpless. All I could do was to make desperate attempts to fight against the onslaught of such thoughts. Days were passing by and Iman's marriage was only two days away. If Iman had permitted me to make another request to the Maulvi, I was even prepared to hang myself to death in front of his mosque, in the hope that it might eventually soften his heart for me. But she had imposed further restrictions on me. By mentioning her own honour and chastity and the compulsions of her poor father, she had virtually fettered my mad love for her. If she had not said such things, I might have gone to the Maulvi's house with a beggar's cup and banged my head against its walls, hoping that he might be persuaded to hold my wounded head into his own hands to provide me some comfort and relief. But alas, I could not do any such thing.

    It was another sad October evening. The redness of the twilight in the sky resembled the blood oozing out of my wounded desires. The air was cold and signs of autumn were vividly visible on the platform. After turning yellow and then red, the mulberry leaves were falling down on the ground like stray kites. The platform seemed to be covered with a sheet of yellowish red leaves. Sitting on a bench placed on the same sheet under the lamp post, I was thinking that within two days, Iman would be married to Abdullah and would leave her home with him. Nighat had informed me that the Maulvi had decided to send Abdullah and Iman to her sister in Mach after their marriage. He had even arranged some job for Abdullah in Mach. There are several coal mines in Mach and around these mines; there are a number of small settlements for the coal miners. Abdullah's name had been approved as the Imam (Prayer leader) for a mosque of one of these settlements. I strongly believed that the Maulvi had made all these arrangements because of me, otherwise, how could he live away from her dear daughter? Nighat further informed me that after Iman's marriage, the Maulvi himself would not stay in Quetta for a long time, because he had made up his mind to shift to Mach along with his wife and Haya some time after Iman's marriage. Once again, my heart was filled with bitter hatred for religion which, after brutally murdering my love, did not even like to see its corpse being buried in this city. Then, the flow of my thoughts turned towards Abdullah and I began to envy his fate. How fortunate he was because very soon Iman would belong to him. Fortunate indeed are all those lovers who are crowned with success in their love. I began to imagine the condition of those who are so close to achieving their goal in love. If I had been in Abdullah's place, my heart would surely have burst and I would have died with delight before the blissful moment of the fulfillment of my love. Gradually, my thoughts about Abdullah became so powerful that I saw him coming towards him on the platform. I attempted to brush aside all such thoughts but I could still see Abdullah rapidly advancing towards me. I stood up in a state of bewilderment and noticed that it was none other than Abdullah, who was trampling the red and yellow dry leaves on the ground and briskly coming towards me with a much perturbed look on his face. I could not even walk a few steps towards him. Instead, standing silently, I simply saw him coming towards me. As soon as he came near me, he spoke in a hurried and breathless tone, "You'll have to come with me at once."

    In utter nervousness I looked towards him. "But where?"

    "To our home. Don't ask too many questions. Hurry up."

   Abdullah's condition at that time did not allow me to ask any other question. As he turned, I followed him like an enchanted or hypnotized soul. It was getting dark and all the lamp posts and gas lamps at the station had been turned on. These were the final days of October and the whole atmosphere had been enveloped in the clouds of fog and mist in such a way that all the lights seemed dim, fade and flickering. It appeared as if someone had released a large number of fireflies in the thick white clouds.

   In the same fogy and hazy atmosphere, we came out of the main building of the railway station and observed that the road was deserted and wrapped in fog. It seemed as if some widow clad in white Sari had just returned after morning the death of her husband. We stood for a while looking around in search of some conveyance. Like a fish out of water, Abdullah seemed most restless and was repeatedly rubbing his hands to give the impression that time was swiftly slipping out of his hands. I wondered why he was in such a hurry. In the meantime, like an angel of mercy, Khairu was seen coming there, apparently after dropping some passenger at his destination. I immediately called him and the very next moment, both of us were seated in his galloping tonga and were heading for Maulvi Alim's home situated in an old locality of the city. But on account of the severe fog and mist on the way, Khairu's horse was running at a very slow pace. As a precautionary measure, Khairu had turned on both the gas lamps hanging along the two front poles in the hope of increasing the visibility level but it too did not make any real difference. In this biting cold, the steam coming out of the horse's nostrils indicated that it was breathing after all. Passing through the circles of the dim pale lights of the distant lamp posts on the dark roads, we were making our way on the Litton Road which was bordered by tall trees on both sides. If some distant passerby had seen us travelling in Khairu's tonga in that particular atmosphere that evening, he would surely have recalled several such scenes found in the movies of Sherlock Holmes.

   At last, the tonga entered the old locality through its gate. The whole area looked deserted and both of us immediately came down from the tonga. As Abdullah rushed towards his home, I suddenly realized that I had once again come to that street and that house which had become a forbidden tree for me. Maulvi Alim had prohibited me from coming there. I did not care for any restriction imposed by him but this restriction had been imposed by that charming lady who had become the sole honour of my life, my body, my soul and my whole existence. On realizing that I was not keeping pace with him, Abdullah turned and said "Why have you stopped? Please hurry yup."

   "I can't go inside your home. I've been forbidden by Iman." The very next moment, I realized the mistake that I had made quite unintentionally in my hasty nervousness. By mentioning Iman's name to her would-be husband, I had revealed the secret of her meeting with me. In confusion, I attempted to change my words. "I mean the Maulvi has---. It's not appropriate for me to---."

   As Abdullah carefully looked towards me, I noticed tears in his eyes. "Come on! Perhaps, he won't mind your coming now. Please come in. We're running out of time."

   I still remained motionless. How could I break the promise that I had made with Iman?

   "It was Iman who told me to go to the station and bring you here," informed Abdullah and added, "She's waiting for you." Leaving me standing stunned and mystified, Abdullah went forward to open the door and I was left with no option but to follow him. Iman's house was also covered with fog and the door of the courtyard was already open. That part of the city was experiencing the load shedding of electricity. With the force of the wind, Iman's cradle was swaying and it seemed as if Iman had just gone away after rocking in the cradle. A strange type of silence prevailed in the whole house. Suddenly, I was astonished to see Nighat coming out of the veranda. Candles placed in the small shelves of the veranda were twinkling. Tears hidden in Nighat's eyes were clearly visible in this dim light. Cutting through the thick fog, she rushed towards me and started sobbing, with her head pressed against my chest. While I was still perplexed by this incredible situation, Abdullah caught my hand and took me towards the women's [portion of the house. Why was he taking me towards that part of the house? If the Maulvi caught a glimpse of me walking freely in his house, he might do something terrible. But without letting me say anything, Abdullah dragged me to the room at the edge of the veranda. Clinging to my elbow, Nighat also entered the room with me. In the dim twilight of the room, the first face that I saw was that of Maulvi Alim himself. I was startled and became motionless. A strange helplessness was writ large on his face. This type of helplessness is visible only on the face of that person who single handedly fights a prolonged battle and finally, when he is sure of victory, the tables are suddenly turned on him and he meets a humiliating defeat. Haya was also sitting there. Besides her, there was another bright faced woman wrapped in a shawl sitting at the feet of a bed placed in one corner of the room. Why were all of them sitting silently? As my eyes became familiar with the murky twilight of the room, I observed that someone was lying on the bed and Haya and her mother were sitting on both sides of the bed to place cold strips on her forehead. Beside the bed, there lay a large silver pot full of cold water in which white strips could be seen. There was a sudden flash of lightning in my mind. I was roused from my sleep and became wide awake. I realized that the person lying on the bed was none other than Iman. Signs of severe weakness and intense fever were clearly evident from her face. But the pink halo of light around her face could still be seen. She was breathing irregularly and with her eyes shut, she seemed to be in some deep trance. For a few moments, Maulvi Alim looked towards me and then he lowered his eyes. While I still stood at the door confounded and stupefied, Abdullah looked towards Nighat, indicated something to her with his hand and she entered the room holding my hand. I followed her like some enchanted or hypnotized soul. Abdullah sat near Iman's feet and spoke gently. "Iman, open your eyes. Look around, someone has come to see you."

   But Iman's sleep or unconsciousness still continued. But then, Haya came forward, stroked her hair with her fingers and whispered something into her ears. There was some movement in Iman's body and she slowly opened her eyes, the same large murderous eyes. Then she saw me and for the next few moments, she continued watching me without winking her eyes. It appeared as if she wanted to absorb my image in her eyes. Quite surprisingly, her debilitating fever and weakness had not done any damage to her dazzling beauty. She still looked as captivating and charming as before. But it was quite evident from her irregular breathing that the deadly poison of love had completely pierced into her veins. That brutal poison had ruined and wrecked the whole existence of that innocent, vibrant and delicate girl. What an astonishing day it was, full of extraordinary events. In the presence of Maulvi Alim himself, I was present in the room of her sick daughter. All the members of his family including his would-be son-in-law were present around him in the same room but on that particular day, he seemed to have become speechless. There were tears in his eyes and his hands were trembling so violently that he could not even properly roll the rosary in his hands. Iman's lips quivered for a moment but nobody could understand anything. In a state of shock, the Maulvi went forward, kissed her forehead, recited something and blew on her. Tears were flowing out of his wife's eyes, but she was weeping so silently that no one could imagine her condition without having a closer look at her. My gaze was constantly fixed on Iman. It was on that day that I came to know of the miraculous powers of love. One such miracle happened when Maulvi Alim himself caught my hand and took me near Iman. Haya got up and enabled me to stand at that place. Iman looked towards me and for a moment, there appeared on her lips that faint but vibrant smile which was sufficient to sustain life in the whole universe. It was the same characteristic smile of hers which made dimples in her cheeks. As her eyes came into contact with mine, she conquered the whole universe in a moment and while doing so, she seemed to be saying "Love conquers all." Then, she shut her eyes again and for the next few minutes, I continued watching her, waiting for her to open her eyes again, but her sleep prolonged. Then, I heard Maulvi Alim's voice, as if coming from somewhere in space. He was reciting the Quranic verse which means "To Allah we belong and to Him is our return." This is the verse which is recited by the Muslims on hearing the news of someone's death. I could not understand why the Maulvi was reciting this verse at that time. Had someone died in the neighbourhood? I looked towards him rather disapprovingly and angrily. He should not have recited this verse while watching his princess like daughter sleeping peacefully on the bed. It might prove ominous. But then I saw Haya and Nighat clinging to each other and crying. What had happened to them? I asked myself. In order to get some help from Abdullah, I looked towards him. I wanted him to take away both the stupid girls so that their crying might not disturb Iman in her sound sleep. But I saw another strange spectacle. With his head buried in his knees, Abdullah too was weeping most passionately. Same was the case with Iman's mother. Instead of consoling her, Haya and Nighat were also weeping with her. Time and again, Haya and Nighat were kissing her luminous forehead and combing her hair with their own fingers. Why were they unable to understand the simple fact that it was not proper for them to disturb her peaceful sleep? The Maulvi was still loudly reciting some Quranic verses. As a last resort, I looked towards him, hoping that he might be able to convince the other members of his family to behave in a reasonable way. But to my utter astonishment, his own face and beard were wet with the flowing tears. I wiped away the tears from his face and by placing my finger on my lips, I beckoned all of them to keep quiet but it proved counter productive for Haya and Nighat. Haya was now crying hysterically and it was becoming extremely difficult for her mother to prevent her from total collapse. Nighat came to me, caught hold of my shoulders and shook me violently. "Brother, Iman is gone. She has left us forever. She would never return to us now." The snow and fog frozen on my mind began to melt but I was still finding it difficult to come to grips with the situation. What was Nighat trying to say? Why were all of them still weeping and crying? Then, all of a sudden, the Quranic verses which the Maulvi had just recited began echoing in my ears and I sat down beside Iman's bed. With her eyes shut and breathing stopped, she was lying on the bed, wrapped in a sheet of cloth, with all her bewitching beauty and mesmerizing charm, like a princess, surrounded by a halo of light. She still had a faint smile on her lips but it was I alone who could perceive this smile, because her last smile was only meant for me. In this emotionally charged atmosphere, I called her in a low voice "Iman." But she still remained motionless. Alarmed at her condition, I looked towards the Maulvi who was standing behind me. "What has happened to her? Why isn't she speaking? Tell her to say something. She never disobeys you and has a great love and respect for you. She will surely speak if you ask her to do so."

   Instead of answering, the Maulvi burst into tears, pulled me towards him and caught me in his arms. The moment I went into his arms, a flood of tears gushed forth from my eyes. The more he attempted to console me, the more bitterly I cried. Gradually, I began to understand why her breathing had stopped and why she was not responding to our entreaties. But still I was unable to find appropriate words which are used to describe the eternal silence of someone. At that catastrophic moment when Iman was breathing her last, the skies should have burst, the earth's rotation should have stopped and all of us, who were present around her at that time, should have perished. I wondered why nothing of this sort happened. Eversince my first encounter with her, I had become habitual of seeing things with her eyes, but why was light still present in my eyes when she had shut her eyes forever? Why was my power of speech not snatched away from me, in spite of the fact that I had become accustomed to using her words? My ears were always waiting to hear her, sweet, soft and melodious voice, but why did my sense of hearing still remain intact, when there was no more chance of hearing her voice again? My heart which was in the habit of beating along with her heart should have burst the moment her heart beat stopped. I was not willing to give even the shadow of hers to someone else, but how was it that in my own presence, someone took away her soul from her body? In other words, all of my claims proved false. I felt an irresistible urge to cry and scream at the top of my voice but look at my helpless condition. The thought of her sanctity and modesty was preventing me from openly lamenting her death. With the passing moments, as my tears began drying up, I understood the meaning of weeping without shedding tears. The Maulvi tried his best to console me but in a short while, I had to lose control over my consciousness. Before falling unconscious, I saw Iman's mother for the last time. She was still kissing her forehead and covering her face with a sheet of cloth. But then, I became totally oblivious of my surroundings and lost consciousness while I was still in the Maulvi's arms.

   After the dramatic events of that day, it took me another fifteen days to regain consciousness. When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying on the bed in a room In Mr. Siddiqi's house, with syringes and drips pierced into the different organs of my body. I was later on told by Mr. Siddiqi that after keeping me in the railway hospital, he had shifted me to his own house, because, the railway hospital did not have all the required facilities. Moreover, he had hired the services of an eminent private doctor of the city and it was not possible for him and the rest of his team to pay daily visits to the railway hospital. For the first few days, I had completely lost my memory. In utter amazement, I only stared at the unfamiliar faces of all those who were frequently walking around me, giving me injections and examining my fever. According to Mr. Siddiqi, the doctors finally decided to shift me to the main hospital of the city, because, my physical condition was gradually improving but my memory was still lost and consequently, my body and mind were not working in harmony with each other. It was a matter of great concern for the doctors who shifted me to the city's main hospital. My physical condition was improving and my fever was becoming less frequent. At times, the nurses found it difficult to make me eat porridge and other such liquid foods. But on such occasions, Mr. Siddiqi came to their help and by means of love or force, made me eat something.   Perhaps even in this state of mental stupor, I found myself buried beneath the heap of favours that he had done to me during the past few months. After some time, the hospital attendants began taking me out on the wheel chair to the large lawn and grassy plots of the hospital, so that I could have a stroll in the fresh air.

   But there was no improvement in the foggy condition of my mind. I only stared at the faces, attempted to recognize them but failed. Everything seemed to be happening in a dream. Maulvi, Alim, Abdullah, Shakir, Khairu, Ghafura and many other people might have been coming to see me in the hospital and I might have been looking at their faces as if all of them were strangers to me. Although, my body was positively responding to the medicines being given to me by the doctors, my mind was still showing no response to them. In view of my improved physical condition, the doctors permitted Mr. Siddiqi to shift me to his home but at the same time, they advised him to take full care of me. It was perhaps my last evening in the hospital, because I was going to be shifted to Mr. Siddiqi's home the next morning. All of a sudden, there was a stir in the corridors of the hospital. Sitting on my wheel chair beside the window, I was looking outside with vacant eyes. A few moments ago, I had seen two large Mercedes cars entering the hospital compound. In a short while, all the noise that had suddenly erupted in the corridors of the hospital ended up near the door of my room. As the door opened, a woman with a somewhat familiar face was seen entering the room. In a state of shock, she watched me for a few moments and then suddenly, it seemed as if something happened to her. With a loud cry, she ran towards me and held me in her arms most passionately. After her, a ripe aged honourable and dignified man elegantly dressed entered the room, followed by two boys. One of the boys, who looked one or two years younger than I, also started weeping like the woman and began touching my hair and face. I did not like their actions. After a while, the doctor entered the room and said something to the dignified man who came forward with heavy steps and told the woman to keep quiet. They stayed in my room till late at night and when I became sleepy, I was taken to bed by one of the helpers present with the nurse. But before I could sleep, a strange thing happened. The honourable man came to me and lovingly caressed my cheek. I suddenly recalled something. At times during my childhood, while I was going to sleep, someone used to caress my cheeks in the same manner. When I woke up the next morning, all preparations had been made to shift me to Mr. Siddiqi's home. All those people who had come to my room during the previous evening were also present on that occasion. The man and the woman were discussing something with the doctor who was perhaps, trying to make them understand something. Perhaps, they were insisting that they should be permitted to take me with them while the doctor was telling them that it would be better for me to stay with Mr. Siddiqi till my complete recovery. To be very honest, I myself did not want to go with them, because whenever I saw them, I felt a strange kind of burden on my mind. At last, on seeing the signs of dislike for them on my face, they also decided to act in accordance with the doctor's advice. However, they accompanied me in their cars to Mr. Siddiqi's home. Afterwards, they began coming there quite regularly and watching me while I was sitting on my wheel chair in the veranda or the garden and looking at some flower or wall.

    Another strange thing happened a few days later. A man dressed as a driver arrived there with a young girl. Both of them seemed quite familiar and for some unknown reason, the girl burst into tears, as soon as she saw me. With a great deal of difficulty, the uniformed driver and Mr. Siddiqi made her silent. When the girl asked Mr. Siddiqi about my clothes and other things, he brought from somewhere a shirt and a uniform worn by the coolies. As the girl was looking into the pockets of the uniform and the shirt, two pearls fell down on the ground from some pocket. The moment they tossed on the floor, quite involuntarily, my hands advanced towards them to pick them up, as if they were a valuable possession of mine which I did not wish to lose at any cost. With the sound of the falling pearls, something crashed inside me. After falling on the floor, they again tossed in the air and there was another crash inside me. It seemed to me that a movie was being shown in slow motion. Before the pearls could come down on the ground for the third time, I could feel thunder like explosions taking place in my mind. My befogged mind and benumbed sensibilities were suddenly jolted and I remembered that the pearls had been given to me by Iman. Yes of course, these were the same pearls but how did they reach here? I realized that the girl standing before me was Nighat who had come there with her father Shakir and the other man standing with them was Mr. Siddiqi. Afterwards, I gradually recalled all the events that had taken place since that dark ominous night and recognized all the faces that I had seen during the past few days in the hospital and in Mr. Siddiqi's home. Shakir was accompanied by none other than the Commissioner, my mother and the rest of the members of my family. Iman had gone but what a shameful thing it was that I was still alive.  My head was gripped by a severe pain. I was later on informed by the doctors that I had temporarily lost my mental equilibrium due to the sudden shock of that night. In medical terms, it is perhaps known as temporary amnesia. I had seen several such events in the movies on the cinema screen without knowing that I was also destined to pass through the same experience. The events that took place afterwards can be described in a few words. The Commissioner, and my mother repeatedly came to Mr. Siddiqi's home in the hope of taking me back with them. Mr. Siddiqi also had the same opinion but I frankly told all of them that I could shift to any other place but would not like to return home. On hearing my refusal, they no more insisted on my going with them. All the members of my family including the Commissioner, my mother, my brother Sajjad and his wife were extremely ashamed of their behaviour but now I had no concern with them. The girl for whom I had been living and for whose sake I had forsaken everyone and everything no longer remained in the world and now, it did not matter where and how I would spend the rest of my life. Ibad however daily came to meet me at the station. By now, all the employees at the station had become aware of my identity. But Khairu, Ghafura and other workers at the station were still my friends and always took care of me. However, even after regaining my consciousness, I could not get back my words. For hours and hours, I used to sit at the same place, staring in the sky, without saying anything to anyone. Till then, I had not been able to reconcile myself with the idea that Iman had died. I was fed up with the whole world and was full of hatred and disdain for religion which had grabbed away my Iman from me. The innocent girl had been fatally caught up and ruthlessly crushed in the war of love and religion. Her tender heart and simple mind could not stand up to the pressure of this brutal war and eventually, she lost the battle of her life.

   On a couple of occasions, Abdullah also came to see me at the station. But on each occasion, we simply sat facing each other, without exchanging even a single word. His immense sorrow and grief at the loss of Iman was not so much different from that of mine. Instead of using words, we were capable of conveying our feelings and emotions in a better way through the language of silence. At times, words deprive our feelings and emotions of their real worth and value, scale down their honour, prestige and importance and are unable to describe their force and intensity. The fact is that on certain occasions, words disgrace our feelings and emotions and, therefore, instead of talking to each other, Abdullah and I preferred to remain silent in order to feel each other's pain and agony.

    During my first meeting with Nighat after regaining consciousness, she described to me about Maulvi Alim's change of mind. I came to know from her that before her death, Iman had been suffering from the same deadly fever for the last two nights. It appeared that her soul was eager to leave her body but she seemed to be desperately waiting for someone before letting her soul fly to the heavens. Two days before her death, the doctors had expressed their hopelessness about her recovery but still, the Maulvi firmly believed that his prayers were more powerful and more effective than all the medicines. But this faith in the power of prayers began to crumble on the third day. Abdullah fell down on the Maulvi's feet and implored him to let Iman have a final glimpse of mine before dying, because all the other members of her family knew that this was exactly what she wanted. But at the same time, all of them were fully aware of the fact that due to her modesty and shyness, she would never say this thing to anyone, even if it required her to remain in the same miserable and agonizing condition for an indefinite period. Haya had also requested Abdullah to fetch me from the station. Instead of taking any personal initiative in this connection, Abdullah approached the Maulvi and lodged a humble appeal to allow him to fulfil this last desire of Iman Initially, the Maulvi was infuriated and bitterly scolded him but with the passage of time, as Iman's condition rapidly deteriorated, the rigid religious father of his inside crumbled. Finally, on the third evening, when Abdullah literally wept before him, he had to surrender. For the first time in his life, he allowed a stranger to cross the threshold of his house and even permitted him to go to the women's portion. Perhaps, he was shattered from inside that very moment, when he realized that Iman's passion of love for me was as strong as was mine for her. It was something quite unimaginable for him. He was absolutely sure of Iman's faithfulness and obedience to him and could not simply imagine that someone else could ever secretly enter her heart. It was the worst shock for the strict and rigid religious man present inside him. But at the same time, he was a loving father as well and the fact that her beloved daughter sacrificed her life for the sake of his pleasure without letting him know about the real condition of her heart, was most agonizing for him. Perhaps, the man who finally permitted Abdullah to bring me from the station was not Maulvi Alimuddin but a kind and loving father. But it was too late when he took that step because by then, he had lost his daughter forever.

    During her severe illness, Iman had given Nighat a closed envelope containing a letter for me and had requested her to give it to me after her marriage with Abdullah. While giving her last letter to Nighat Iman could not have imagined that her own days had been numbered in this world. Anyhow, Nighat handed over that envelope to me but for several days, I could not open it. Daily, I summoned up my courage and thought of opening it, but I always lost courage at the last moment and carefully put it back into the drawer. Daily, I brought out that closed envelope from the drawer like some very sacred writing, kissed it, touched my forehead and eyes with it and then put it back in the same drawer. Perhaps by doing so, I endeavoured to strengthen my notion that Iman was still with me with her unread letter. I wanted to find an excuse for passing the rest of my life imagining that I could hear her unsaid words. But this situation could not last long. One day, Mr. Siddiqi who was in his office, telephoned his servant Rahim to bring some particular paper from home. At that time, Rahim was cooking meal. He could not properly understand which paper was required by Mr. Siddiqi. In a hurry, he took out Iman's closed letter from the drawer and gave it to Mr. Siddiqi in his office. As soon as he opened the envelope and began reading the paper inside it, he realized his mistake. Sitting in a desolate corner of the platform at that time, I was watching two labourers unloading goods from the goods train. As I looked around, I saw Mr. Siddiqi coming towards me. I immediately stood up and greeted him. "I'm sorry gentleman. I had asked Rahim to bring a paper from home but he mistakenly brought this envelope which seems to have your personal letter. Although I've opened it, yet, rest assured that I haven't read even a single line of it."

    After giving me Iman's letter in the open envelope, Mr. Siddiqi went away. The moment I held it in my trembling hands, my condition changed dramatically. My legs became lifeless and I seemed to be suffering from some paralyzing disease for several years. In utter bewilderment, I sat down on the bench with my violently beating heart. I had a feeling that Iman herself was sitting beside me. For several days, this letter had been lying in my table's drawer but I had not been able to read it. Now that Mr. Siddiqi had mistakenly opened it and given it to me, I had a burning desire to read it. The disturbed condition of my heart at that moment was not different from that which I had while I was attempting to talk to Iman during the couple of meetings that I had with her. Finally, I took out the letter from the envelope with my trembling fingers. Tears began flowing out of my eyes quite spontaneously as soon as I glanced at her captivating style of writing.  

    "I know that you wouldn't have returned home till now. You seem to have forgotten what I told you about love. I told you that there is no obstinacy in love. Love is the name of surrendering, even after victory. Only true lovers know how to surrender after winning. Hammad, you have also won and, therefore, please surrender for my sake. Moreover, love does not necessarily mean achieving your objective as I told you that the whole life can easily be spent relishing the memories of a single meeting. It doesn't matter if I haven't been able to become yours in this life. I will always be praying for your eternal company in the next world. I'm fully aware of the fact that in order to return to your home, you'll have to swallow many bitter pills and fight against strong opposition from your own inside. But I know that you're fully capable of doing all these things.

    Take care of yourself and always be happy."

       For a long long time, I sat at the same place, reading her letter again and again and shedding tears choking with emotions. I was suddenly startled when someone placed his hand on my shoulder. It was Abdullah who must have been standing their for a long time, watching my condition. He wiped away the tears from my cheeks and then looked into my eyes. "For how long will you continue to make us weep? Just have a look at those who've come to see you today."

   As I followed Abdullah's gaze, I stood up in confusion. The platform seemed to be crowded with the members of Shakir's family and those of my own. I could see Mother, my elder Brother Sajjad, his wife Abrina, their son sunny, my younger brother Ibad, Nighat and Shakir. But most astonishing for me was the sight of the Commissioner standing hand in hand with Maulvi Alimuddin. They were standing ahead of everyone. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the Maulvi with tearful eyes holding the Commissioner's hand. How was it that the most powerful and most arrogant retired commissioner of the city was standing shoulder to shoulder with a poor Maulvi? The amazing thing was that his eyes were full of regret and remorse instead of pride and arrogance and his back that had always been erect was now bent. All the others stood there, only the Maulvi came towards me and I automatically lowered my eyes when he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Hammad, you have won and your love too has won. You have proved that true love can defeat the whole world. All of us have been shattered from inside. We are all ashamed of our behaviour. The Commissioner himself came to my home. He, his wife and all the others have made amends for their misbehaviour. Forgiveness is a great virtue. I humbly request you to forgive me and the members of your family. We all consider ourselves to be very low and humble as compared to your lofty and sublime love. Those who are low and humble, are not punished, they are forgiven. You should also forgive us all. I am even ready to fold my hands before you."

    But before he could fold his hands, I immediately caught them in my own hands. As he embraced me, our eyes flooded with tears. While trying to console me, he could not control his own tears. Holding my hand, he took me to the Commissioner standing a few steps away. As I stood there with my bent head, he caressed my cheeks as he used to do in my childhood. All of a sudden, the Retired Commissioner Amjad Raza disappeared from my sight and instead, I could see my dear father whom I had known in my childhood. As he extended his arms, I buried my head into his chest and burst into tears. Holding me in his arms, he too went on weeping for a long time. After several years, a father and his son were locked in a warm and loving embrace. Seeing us in this condition, Mother, Sajjad, Ibad, Abrina, Shakir and Nighat surrounded me. All of them were touching me and expressing their love for me. They were all shedding tears, as tears are one of the most effective means of expressing our feelings and emotions. We shed our tears only for those who are very near and dear to us and it was for the first time that I had seen tears in my father's eyes. Standing at some distance with Khairu and other workers, Ghafura was also wiping away the tears from his eyes with a large handkerchief. There was a strange delight on their faces but at the same time, they all seemed somewhat sad inwardly. Perhaps, they had realized that I would no longer stay with them. I knew very well that physically, I might be away from them but spiritually, I would always be among them because there are certain relations which are unbreakable. Ghafura, Khairu and others were somewhat afraid of the Commissioner and, therefore, could not come closer to me. When my father saw them waving hands towards me from a distance, he himself took me to them and I introduced all of them to him one by one, exactly as I used to introduce my friends to him during my childhood. He shook hands with all of them and thanked them for taking care of me. In the meantime, Mr. Siddiqi also arrived there and Father hugged him for a long time. Perhaps, Shakir had told him everything about Mr. Siddiqi and his kind treatment with me. All of them gave me a hearty send off as if I had been a bridegroom embarking upon my matrimonial journey.

    Apparently, Iman had gone away from me, never to come back again, but in reality, she was always with me, talking to me, encouraging me, loving me, wiping away my tears and touching her eyes with my hands. At last, I was back home again, but there was nothing which could attract my attention or interest. I myself asked Father to arrange my admission in London's Kingston University and filled in the application forms. One month later, I received call letter from the University and on a cold November evening, I left Iman's city carrying with me an inexhaustible treasure of her memories.

CHAPTER 29

      THE TREASURE OF MEMORIES

After Iman's tragic demise, I went to London, hoping against hope that by leaving her city, I might be able to get some relief from my intense pain and agony, but nothing of this sort could ever happen. Her memory was like a sharp dagger which always remained firmly pierced into my heart. Whenever I was in a gathering, my attention was diverted for a while, but the moment I was alone, I was surrounded by her two large eyes. Her two pearls and her last letter became my companions and for several hours, we would talk to each other. Quite astonishingly, whenever I remembered her, my solitude appeared to be a gathering for me, and while I was in a gathering, I often felt lonely. The moment I was in a crowd of people, I would feel lonely and wait for hours for the dispersing of the crowd, so that in my solitude, I might again be able to enjoy the company of Iman's memories.

    Among my friends, Kamran alone knew the real condition of my heart. When for the first time, I told him about Iman's death, he was stunned and remained in a state of shock for a long time. Till then, he believed that Iman must have been married to someone else, because during the last two years, he had not visited Pakistan and I too had not been in contact with him since my coming to the railway station. On hearing my woeful tale, he was so much upset that I had to give him sleeping pills that night. For several days, he remained annoyed with me for not informing him of the traumas through which I had been passing. Moreover, he was surprised at the exceptional strength of my nerves which had kept me alive despite all the tragic happenings. I did not have the courage to tell him that the continuation of my life was the source of greatest embarrassment for me. I wished I should have lost all my senses and perished that very moment when Iman breathed her last. The continuation of my life was a punishment which she had awarded to me while departing from this world and I was still alive undergoing the same punishment. Rebecca too always complained to me that I often remained lost somewhere else even in a gathering. But that day, she was annoyed with me for some other reason. I told her in the morning that during the previous night, I had my dinner with Sarah at her home. At that time, Rebecca was trying to make a snowman with the snow that had gathered along the canal after the overnight snowfall. In this attempt, her white hands had turned red and were now becoming blue. The moment I told her about the dinner at Sarah's home, she left the snow and rushed towards me. "What! Did you go to Sarah's home last night for dinner without even telling me?"

   "The fact is that she made this offer at about 3-30 in the afternoon yesterday and by that time, you were gone. Afterwards, I spent the whole evening in the library and that's why I'm telling it to you now."

   Rebecca became somewhat depressed. "I don't know what happens to me when I see you with Sarah. But the fault is mine because a single gust of cool refreshing breeze cannot suffice everyone and nor can a single shower of rain bring fertility to every patch of land. Anyhow, I've no complaints to make and I'm contented with my lot and pleased with whatever share of it I've got."

   Before Rebecca could say something else, Sarah was seen coming towards us. In view of the cold snowy weather, she was wearing black jeans, dark red high necked sweater and special shoes to protect her feet from snow. On her shoulders, she had the same jacket which I had given to her during the previous night to save herself from the severe cold. Rebecca could easily recognize my jacket and on seeing Sarah with my jacket, she again became busy with her snowman. Sarah gave me my jacket and remarked, "Here's your jacket and thanks a lot for taking care of me last night."

   "Sir Isaac must have thoroughly searched all the pockets of my jacket in solitude after my departure."

   Sarah gave a loud laugh. "Now, He isn't as bad as that. In fact he himself apologized to me after you left."

   "Oh that's wonderful."

   Rebecca dried her hands that had become wet with snow and spoke, "Well, I ['m going inside the campus, otherwise, I may lose my hands in the snow."

   Sarah tried to stop her but she did not turn around to see. I had a feeling that if she had turned around and seen us, Sarah would surely have seen her eyes wet with tears.

   "Oh, what's happened to her" Asked Sarah. "Why have you made my dearest friend so gloomy and sad? She has never been like that."

   "Perhaps, I'm always surrounded by sadness and whoever lives with me, eventually falls into this deep ominous pit of sadness."

   Sarah looked attentively towards me. "You're a brilliant talker and Rebecca too seems to have been greatly impressed by your talks. There surely is something in you. But what exactly is it?"

   I laughed at the way in which Sarah uttered these words. "Is it a question or a judgment?"

   "No, I'm saying the right thing. I've never seen my papa so much upset as he was last night. He has been my ideal because he's a man of exceptionally strong nerves and has always confronted the greatest challenges of his life with a broad smile on his face. But for some unknown reason, eversince you've come to this university, I've always found him worried because of you. Last night, I had an argument with him and asked him if he considered me and my deeply rooted beliefs to be so weak that I would renounce them so easily. Since childhood, we've been repeatedly told that we are great and would always remain great. I asked him if our greatness would be reduced by the denial of a single boy and if our beliefs would be undermined by someone else's beliefs which are different from ours. But he had no answer to any of my questions."

   I silently listened to the words of that confident girl. "What did he say to you in response to your questions?"

   "I have to say with regret that for the first time in my life, instead of trying to convince me with logic and arguments, he behaved like a traditional father, who tries to impose his own experiences and apprehensions on his children and attempts to frighten them with his own inner fears. The other day you said that darkness is always afraid of light. If it is darkness, I'm also a part of it. But if it is the case, why am I not afraid of you or your beliefs?"

   It was quite evident from her words that her father's irrational attitude had plunged her into a state of mental confusion and perplexity. At that moment, I also realized a major difference in the attitudes of the people living in the East and the West. In the West, a girl can cross examine her father and have a heated debate with him about the correctness and incorrectness, rationality and irrationality of his views and behaviour. But in the East, it is extremely difficult for a young girl to disagree with or oppose her father's views. While contemplating on this fact, I remembered Iman most intensely. Sarah continued to speak while I was engrossed in my own thoughts. Suddenly she looked towards me "Why's it that you are often suddenly lost somewhere in a moment?"

   Thus, Sarah too asked the same question which Rebecca had already asked me several times.

    "Nowhere, I was only listening to you."

   "No, that's not the case. While listening to me, you were somewhere else. The fact is that you are never with us. I've never seen so many whirlpools of darkness in someone's eyes. If it isn't something very personal, you can trust me."

    How could I tell that innocent girl that a huge number of sorrows and griefs had become my eternal companions? I didn't want to make her sad by telling all these things. "The tale is so long that you would be bored by it. However, believe you me that there isn't any such personal thing in it as can be hidden from you. I'll surely share it with you in some moments of solitude."

   These words of mine made her happy and she extended her hand towards me. "Do you promise?"

   I held her hand and said, "Yes, I make a solemn promise."

   The same two dimples appeared on her cheek and added to their beauty. The class bell rang for the third time and both of us went towards the classroom.

CHAPTER 30

     FEAR

Then, another strange thing happened. The University administration announced that contrary to the earlier traditions, the students would not be allowed this time to read out their research papers openly in front of all the students in the hall. Instead, all the students would initially submit their term papers in the library and after their thorough analysis and scrutiny, the administration would allow only a few selected students to read out their papers in the presence of other students at a special ceremony. Sarah was much exasperated at this decision but I knew very well that the administration did not want to allow me to convey my research to others. The Jewish members of the administration were strongly desirous that the young generation should not have any other views about the concept of the holocaust except those which had been emphatically preached and advocated by the Jews for decades. For the first time in that whole affair I felt a satisfying relief to think that those who regarded themselves as great were actually afraid of me and my faith. It simply meant that in reality, we alone have the right to call ourselves great, but we have ruined our greatness with our own hands. The Jews are apprehensive that we might regain our lost glory somehow or the other. After several days, sir Isaac looked calm and relieved in the classroom. It seemed as if he had been able to remove a great burden from his mind. As soon as the period started, Rebecca who was already infuriated at the above mentioned decision of the University, outrightly asked sir Isaac as to why the administration had changed its existing rules and regulations about the term papers. But in a tactful manner, he disposed off the matter by telling her that it was an internal matter of the administration. Explaining the matter he argued that for a number of years, the University had been receiving sub-standard  research papers along with the high quality papers and, therefore, the administration had decided to make public only those papers which could come up to the high standards of the University. On receiving this reply, Rebecca threw towards me a piece of paper on which she had written whether she should ask sir Isaac if the administration had taken that decision in view of my selection of the topic for my term paper. She only changed her mind when I angrily glared towards her, otherwise, she would surely have asked that question from sir Isaac. As a strange coincidence, Sarah was also writing her thesis on the subject of Holocaust. Her research was based on a book (Diaries) written in support of the holocaust by a Jewish writer Fredich Kelez. Moreover, she had attempted to prove that the concept of holocaust was a reality in the light of several other books and interviews. Sarah never tried to conceal her research from me. Instead, in a challenging manner, she used to smile while informing me about her daily progress in her research. All those moments in which Sarah and I were together and discussing something, proved very hard upon Rebecca.

   It was a bright sunny day and all the students were in the mood of having a sun bath. I caught Rebecca's hand and took her to my favourite bench along the canal and told her to sit with me for a while. I had decided to talk to her frankly and she was amazed at my attitude.

   "I want to say something to you today."

   "Oh Medi, do you intend to propose to me?" she asked in utter astonishment, looking at her hand firmly gripped in my hand.

   "I wish I could be as fortunate as that. He who wins your hand would be the most fortunate man on earth."

   Rebecca's eyes suddenly brightened. "Do you really think so? There isn't any such thing in me."

   In your fascinating personality, you've got all those charming features which can make you the dream girl for any young man in the world. For hours and hours, people sit still and enchanted on the path from which you pass. With my own eyes, I've seen several people sighing desperately and restlessly awaiting an opportunity to see a single glimpse of yours. Even then you say that there's nothing special in your personality?"

    For the first time I observed the redness of modesty on the face of that bold and pretty Western girl. A woman may belong to any part of the world but she always has this attribute somewhere in her personality.

   She laughed and said, "Yes, there must be something special in me which makes all these boys sigh for me. But alas, this special feature of my personality is of no use for me because; it didn't assist me in melting the stony heart of someone whom I love."

   It was quite evident from her words that she had decided to express her feelings quite openly. In front of us, the snow -like water of the canal emanating from River Thames was flowing silently and small crystals of frozen snow could also be seen in it. A pair of birds sitting on a marble slab of snow and busy taking out the bits of grass from the snow flew past us. In the clear sunshine, the golden colour of Rebecca's face looked all the more charming and attractive. Clad in black skirt and black top, she resembled a golden doll wrapped in black velvet. After giving vent to her feelings, Rebecca became silent and began throwing small pebbles into the canal water. As she lifted her hand to fling the pebbles in the water, I caught her wrist. "Is it necessary to associate all the pleasures, desires and emotions with only one person? That unfortunate fellow may not deserve all these things. He may already have squandered all the colours and joys of his life somewhere else. He may have explored the rainbow of his life in the eyes of someone else.

   In astonishment, Rebecca looked towards me with tearful eyes. "If it is the case, it means that all the colours of my life have faded away and my love would also remain colourless and unrequited."

   I could never imagine that she could also say such deep and philosophical things. Perhaps, love alone can teach us all such difficult things. As had been the case with me, Rebecca too seemed obstinate in her love. Love was once again playing its centuries old game with the only difference that the names of the lover and the beloved had changed. But its pains, sufferings and agonies were the same. If God did not give us the power to save ourselves from the devastating impacts of love, at least, He should have given us the power to prevent others from falling into the fiery pit of love. But perhaps, Nature itself enjoys watching this scene and after igniting the fire of love in the heart of one of two persons,, it likes to see him or her passing the rest of his or her life undergoing intense pain, anguish and agony. Since times immemorial, Nature has been the most enthusiastic sponsor and spectator of this brutal and deadly game of love which would continue to bring unspeakable misery and indescribable suffering for the lovers, as was the case with Rebecca at that time. Alas, that innocent girl was unaware of the bitter fact that my soul had already flown away with that of Iman a long time ago. The poison of love which was now being slowly injected into her veins had already taken away my life.

   With her bent head, Rebecca was sitting and trying to control her tears. One of her hands was still firmly gripped in my hand. With my other hand, I raised her chin and looked into her deep eyes.

   "No my dear, I won't allow you to weep any more. Poor helpless creatures like us have already cried and wept a lot due to love. It has made much fun of our tender and innocent feelings. We have received too many gashing wounds due to the blind arrows shot by cupid. But enough is enough. We won't allow love to bring more death, destruction and misery for mankind."

   I was wiping away the tears from her face but new tears were appearing in her eyes at a much faster speed. Again and again, she was apologizing to me and promising not to weep but it appeared as if she would be swept away in the flood of her own tears. Then she stood up and ran away from there and I kept watching her running away. In the meantime, a pair of swans saw their reflection in the water, flapped their wings and came down on the surface of the water. Then they began talking to each other. "Why was that female swan weeping? Where's her swan?" Asked the female swan from her mate.

   The male swan took a long flight and again came down after hovering over her head "The world of human beings is strange indeed. I couldn't se her swan even in the distance. A swan is sitting on the canal bank but his female partner is also not seen anywhere. Human couples who wander about the earth really look odd and ridiculous, because, they are ill matched. In contrast, we the swans are much better and much luckier. All of us have got our mates and we always fly together in the immense stretches of the air."

   The female swan cast a sad look on me and the running Rebecca and then blissfully flew away with her mate in the vast expanses of the sky.

      CHAPTER 31

    ABSTAINING FROM LOVE

After that day, Rebecca did not come face to face with me for several days. For the first few days, she remained absent from the University. I tried to contact her on her mobile phone as well as on her land line number, but she seemed to have switched off all her numbers. Later, when she resumed coming to the University, she looked much depressed and dejected and avoided looking towards me. One day, during a discussion in the Humaneering class, I got a chance of addressing her. The topic of the discussion was "The sense of loss and achievement." When sir Isaac invited me to express my views, I cast a furtive glance on Rebecca, who was also looking towards me. She at once lowered her eyes as I started speaking. In fact, while speaking I was actually addressing her. "If a person really has the genuine feelings of love, he always achieves something and never loses anything. Love may be a one-sided affair, but it always gives you a beautiful sensation even if the passion on the other side is of a much lesser strength and intensity. Love is not a business transaction in which both parts of a scale should have an equal weight. Less weight in one part increases it in the other, in case of real love. True lovers never love in the hope of some reward. However, if their love is responded with the same force and intensity, their reward is doubled. But even if their love is not reciprocated at the same level, they do get the due share of the reward of their love and this much reward is also sufficient for passing the rest of their life. It should however be remembered that love is the name of a journey which is made by the barefooted lovers on the burning sand of a trackless desert where the sun shines perpetually with all its scorching heat. But those lovers who sit down for a while in this arduous journey to count the blisters of their feet, lose sight of their destination, forever."

    After expressing my views, I sat down and noticed that all the students were silent for a while and Rebecca was most eager to shed tears but thanks to the bell which rang to indicate that the period was over, otherwise, all the students would have come to know of her secret that day. One after the other, all of us left the class, but I was so much pre-occupied with my own thoughts that I could not hear Joseph who was calling me. I was startled when he called me rather loudly for the third time while coming after me. "Hi Mr. Hammad, in which deep thoughts are you lost?"

   He caught me by my hand and took me out of the university's main building. It was obvious from his manners that he wanted to tell me something very important in solitude. As we reached the open atmosphere he asked me a direct question. "Do you want the completion of your term paper on Holocaust or the cancellation of your admission at this university?"

   "My answer is very well known to you. I'm not one of those who retreat after taking some initiative."

    "I knew it quite well, but now, you should mentally prepare yourself for leaving the University forever, because its administration has at last decided to get rid of you permanently. They might not have invited me to attend the governing body's meeting which was held yesterday but they still believe that my loyalties to them are beyond any doubt. Moreover, at some later point in this whole affair along with the signatures of the rest of the teachers, my signatures would also be required by them to give the impression that it was a unanimous decision. ."

    "They've already made it sure that I shouldn't be allowed to share my research with other students. What's their new allegation against me? Why did they convene this meeting?"

    "Did you go to the library of Park Square Avenue a couple of days ago?"

   "Yes, I did."

I remembered that I had visited that library on the same day when I was invited by Sarah to her home for dinner.

    "Did you have a row with the librarian named Peter Thomas that day?"

   "You can't call it a row. He was somewhat reluctant to give me some books which should have been present in the library as listed in its catalogue. But this incident took place outside the university premises and the administration should have no concern with it."

    "Perhaps it is not in your knowledge that Peter Thomas himself is a Russian born Jew. He has written an application to the University administration with reference to the events that took place on that day when you demanded certain books from him. According to him, when he could not provide you the required books, you threatened him and subjected him to religious harassment. For this reason, he has requested the University administration to take strong action against you."

   I was infuriated. "It is an absurd nonsense. I neither threatened him nor tried to harass him in any way. It's only a cock and bull story."

   "I know that you are telling the truth but you also know that the University administration was in search of some excuse for taking action against you and now, you yourself have provided that much needed excuse to them."

   Signs of worry were quite visible on Joseph's face.

I clearly remembered that day when I visited that library only a few days ago. I needed two long articles written by a French writer Robert Forison in December 1978 and January 1979. In these articles, he proved with the help of firm evidence that no incident involving the killing of Jews by burning them in the gas chambers ever took place. When I requested the librarian to give these articles to me, he denied their presence in the library. I showed him the library's catalogue in which both the articles had been listed. Moreover, the library's register revealed the fact that they had not been issued to anyone during the last several years. At this, Peter Thomas became upset and told me to come after one or two days, as he was terribly busy that day. Now, when Joseph informed me about his religion and nationality, I understood the motives behind his strange behaviour that day. When he refused to provide me the required material, I said to him in a somewhat strict tone that he was compelling me to approach the library's administration or the library section of London's Mayor Office and lodge a complaint against his laziness. At this, Peter was further annoyed with me and in a most reluctant mood, issued only one of the two articles to me and said that two articles could not be issued to me at one and the same time. He assured me to give me the other article after I had read the first one. I got that one article from him and returned. It was the whole story of that day. I neither threatened him nor talked to him in a loud voice. I was surprised to think how he was able to come to know that I was a student at London's Kingston University. After some thinking I understood the whole matter. While issuing the one article, he must have noted the identity card number issued to me by the University. It was evident that the Jews were tightening their cordon around me.

   After discussing the matter with Joseph, I remained busy till the evening giving final touches to my term paper. I had realized that time was running out for me and, therefore, I must finish my term paper and submit it as soon as possible. At last, at six in the evening, while I was still busy in my work, quite unaware of the passage of the time, the university librarian told me that it was time for the library to be closed for that day. In astonishment as I lifted my head, I noticed that it was really dark outside. The moment I came out, I was welcomed by a gust of cold wind. The sky was getting red and there were signs of imminent snowfall. As I came out of the gate, there was no sign of any conveyance as far as I could see and I, therefore, decided to walk to the next block in search of the metro. The lights of London were now glittering with all their brilliance and the lofty neon signs looked like twinkling stars on the earth. Suddenly, the cell phone in the pocket of my overcoat began ringing. It was Sarah speaking from the other side in her soft voice. "Hi Mr. Hammad, I hope you're still busy collecting material against the Jews. What are you doing right now?"

   Smile appeared on my lips as I replied. "In this murderous weather, with my youthful heart, I'm trying to cover this long distance by walking on foot."

   Sarah also laughed on hearing my reply. "I've got two tickets for a theatrical play being staged at the Albert Hall tonight. Mama isn't feeling well while as usual, Papa is worried because of you. Would you like to accompany me to the Albert Hall tonight?"

   "If a beautiful young girl wants to go out with a boy on such an occasion, it's quite appropriate for her prudent parents to make such excuses for not accompanying her."

   Sarah's laughter was again heard on the cell phone. "Where are you at the moment?" she asked.

   I told her the address of the road on which I was present at that time and within a few minutes, she arrived there in her white Battle Car. She was wearing maroon coloured high necked sweater and black skirt and her hair was untied. For the first time that evening, I saw her most extravagantly decorated; otherwise, in general, she preferred to remain simple, without any make up or other artificialities. She brought her car near me and stopped. "It's not the right thing for a young foreign boy to stroll alone on the London roads on such cold snowy evening. Get into my car immediately and I'll drop you at your destination."

    With a smile I got into her car and she started driving it. Within a short while, we crossed the outskirts and reached the city of London with all its colourful lights and activities. Shops shining like glass on both sides were attracting everyone. All the major casinos of London were open and half naked girls standing outside them were inviting the passersby to come in and have some fun. These were large multi-storey casinos having long drive ways enabling the people to go inside while sitting in their cars. The large advertisement boards of newly released movies were also blinking. The largest of these was that of a new movie named King Kong. It was in fact a huge sized multi storied King Kong itself which was blinking with electric lights. While watching King Kong's Board, I remembered my nephew Sunny who was very fond of this movie but till then, it had not been released in the cinemas of his city. Now, we were passing over the grand bridge, the gigantic yellow lights around which had created a day like atmosphere. The Signal was down. Perhaps, a steamer was passing underneath the bridge. The automatic bridge was split from the centre and was lifted upwards. The ship which was blowing its horn passed through the centre of the bridge. Seeing their fellow Londoners, the people standing on the deck happily chanted slogans. By waving their hands excitingly, they seemed to be promising with their beloved city of London that although they were leaving it for some time, yet, they would soon return to it. They were requesting it to retain all its colourful activities and festivities till their return. The fact is that everyone regards his native city as the greatest of all the cities, just as the city of Quetta was dearer to me than all other cities of the world. The air of Quetta was still filled with the sweet fragrance of my Iman and my favourite smell of the burning of raw coal could still be felt in the cold December evenings of that city. Our cities become dear to us like our own blood relationships.

    Sarah was driving the car at a very high speed and shortly after the rejoining of the bridge, we found ourselves in the parking lounge of Albert Hall which was jam-packed with the audience, due to some special play which was being staged that night. Our seats were in the second row and soon after we took our seats, the lights of the hall were switched off. The rising of the curtain on the stage indicated the start of the play which was based on a love story. Love has always been giving birth to countless dramatic and romantic stories. It was also a similar story. The hero on the stage had to bid farewell to the heroine, leave his native city and go to some distant town where he had got a job. While parting from his beloved, he did not have the least idea that he would be ambushed in the thick forest through which he had to pass on his way to the distant city of London where the heroine's stepmother was sending him by ship to work as a labourer. The heroine too was unaware that her greedy step mother had decided to sell her to the pirates who were on board the ship which was supposed to take her across the sea. The boy and the girl were shown on the stage with tearful eyes. They were passionately bidding farewell to each other, consoling each other and promising to meet again after one year, without having the least notion that it would turn out to be the last meeting of their life. In order to make the scene lively the actors were acting in a very natural and realistic manner. Their dialogues were also highly effective and impressive. All the spectators were spellbound and were silently watching the proceedings of the play. In the next scene, the hero was shown passing through the thick forest. In order to intensify the impact of the scene, the lines of Robert Frost's famous poem "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" were being recited in the background.

   "The woods are lovely, dark and deep,

But I have promises to keep;

And miles to go before I sleep

And miles to go before I sleep."

   Perhaps, I was in class seven when I read this poem for the first time but while sitting in the Royal Albert Hall that night, I was watching the scenes depicted in the poem being transformed into reality before my own eyes. Passing through the jungle, the hero is ambushed by the robbers while the heroine is attacked by the pirates on the ship during her voyage. The hero is stabbed with a dagger while in the hope of saving herself from the pirates, the heroine jumps into the sea. Before his death, the boy requests the robbers not to tell his beloved about his death, otherwise, she too would die. In the same way, before drowning, the girl implores the pirates not to tell her lover about her death, otherwise, he would commit suicide. In this way, both the lovers perish. Tears could be seen in the eyes of almost all the spectators who were sitting in the hall and some women were even heard sobbing in the silence. For a long time after the falling of the curtain, people sat there stunned and shocked at what had happened to the two young lovers. Then, all of a sudden, the hall began echoing with the thunderous applause from all the audience. I noticed that Sarah's eyes were also full of tears.

    As Sarah and I came out of the hall, we observed that the city of London was under the cover of a velvet sheet of white snow. Her foxy car (Battle car) standing in the parking also seemed to be a large piece of snow. It looked as if instead of making a snowman, some naughty children had made a snow car. By the time we crossed the nearby streets of Albert Hall and reached the main road, the city of London had gone to sleep for the night. It appeared as if someone had cast a spell on the whole city by means of a white powder. As our car was sliding on the snow covered roads of London, the clock tower in a distant square announced that it was the midnight hour. Sarah, who was still lost in the play that we had just watched at the Albert Hall, was silently looking out of the wind screen while driving her car. I was also somewhat lost in my own thoughts when Sarah began to speak in a low tone. "The tragic end of such romantic stories always makes me sad and after watching such plays and movies, I remain depressed and dejected for several hours."

   "Love always ends at a tragic note like this."

   Startled by my reply, she looked towards me. "How do you know so much and so deeply about love? The other day, when you described the various stages of love in terms of different parts of the day, I discussed your views about love with Mama for several days. Similarly, your analysis of one-sided love affairs was also very thought provoking. How can a person talk about love in such a detailed manner, without personally passing through the torturous experience of love for thousands of times?"

    "Sometimes, even a single experience of love proves more valuable than thousands of such experiences. The pains and pleasures given by this single experience of love are more than what you can expect from thousands of such experiences."

   Sarah looked attentively towards me. "It means you've also loved somebody in your life."

    "At times, the word love seems quite insufficient to me. Don't you feel sometimes that the words we use to convey our feelings and emotions are extremely limited in their scope and utility? All the words included in our vocabulary only convey our apparent and superficial feelings. For our amorous feelings we use such words as love, fanaticism and infatuation. What about those feelings and emotions which go beyond all such limited terms? Why can't our dictionaries provide us with some better words for expressing our real feelings with all their intensity, sincerity and truth?"

    Sarah was listening to me with full attention. The expressions on her face indicated that she was trying to suppress or hide some feelings which she had at that time. "Can I take the liberty of asking you about that girl who is so fortunate that you don't find appropriate words for expressing your feelings for her? Where's she now?"

    "She's no longer in this world." 

    Sarah could hardly control the steering of her car which skidded dangerously on the snow covered road. She was completely unnerved and I immediately pulled the hand brakes attached to the seat. The car rolled on for a while with its own power and then stopped at some distance along a footpath. Sarah placed her head on the steering. I gently shook her. "Are you all right Sarah? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you all this."

    "No, the fault is mine. I was so much absorbed in your talks that I lost my control over the car."

   "If you wish, I can drive the car for the rest of the way."

   Instead of saying anything, she left the steering seat and came towards me. I opened the door and went towards her seat and started driving the car. Sarah was still sitting silently looking outside the wind screen. While she was still lost in her thoughts, she began to speak in a low tone. "How is it possible for you to smile despite having such a huge sorrow in your heart and without ever letting someone share your pains and griefs? You are undoubtedly a unique fellow, quite different from all the other people. You don't belong to this world."

   Without saying anything, I went on driving the car. While we were on the third road near Piccadilly at a short distance from the Westminster Bridge, Sarah told me to turn towards a wide but rather unknown road. Without asking anything, I turned the car towards that long desolate road. At some distance, there was a large cross roads in the centre of the road. It was so large that in order to go around it, I had to turn around the whole steering. From that point, the road was divided into four sections. In the centre of that cross roads, there was a fountain but the sprays of water coming out of it had frozen due to severe cold. At the end of the road, there was a magnificent old Jewish synagogue made of white stone. Covered with snow that white building resembled some palace in the fairyland. I parked the car in front of the synagogue whose wooden door had a very large image of Moses. Big lamps were emitting light on both sides of the door. As both of us got down from the car, Sarah looked towards me and spoke. "It's my favourite synagogue. I come here only on special occasions. There's a special reason that has brought me here at this midnight hour today. I've come here tonight to pray for the sake of your love and for your beloved who may not be alive in the physical sense but is still very much with you in your words, feelings, emotions and memories."

   I was amazed at her words. She stepped forward and then turned to say something to me. "You may wait here for me for a while. I'll be back soon."

   Perhaps she had thought that I was not willing to accompany her to the Jewish synagogue. But as she turned and went forward, I followed her footsteps and entered the synagogue in which dim lights could be seen on the shelves projecting from the high walls. There was a light fragrance in the whole building. Over the dais that had been made for the standing of the Rabbi, there was a wooden platform on which several candles had been placed and lit. Walking on the wooden floor, Sarah reached a particular spot where she stood and started reciting some verses from the Torah. I silently sat at the end of one of the long wooden benches which had been placed on both sides. There was such a strange silence in the synagogue that one could even hear the hissing sound produced by the burning of the candles. In the pin drop silence of the night, with her tearful eyes and her hands placed on her chest, in an inspirational mood, Sarah was reciting her supplications most devoutly for the sake of an unknown girl who was buried in a graveyard in a distant land thousands of miles away. While watching her doing all this, I suddenly missed Iman most intensely. The feeling that I would never be able to meet Iman again in this world began cutting through my heart as if with a sharp dagger. Overwhelmed with this feeling, I began shedding tears. As Sarah turned and saw my tearful eyes, she said, "O Hammad, what's all this?"

   She almost ran to me, held my face in her hands and began wiping away my tears. Her tender and affectionate touch broke all the barriers that had hitherto been holding back the flood of tears in my eyes and then, for a long time, tears went on gushing forth from my eyes and she with her delicate hands went on wiping them away. In her desperate attempts to console me, she herself seemed utterly exhausted and finally, she pressed my head against her shoulder and decided to allow all the water stored up in my eyes to flow out. At last, she spoke in her soft soothing voice. "I regard your pain as my own and wish to remedy it as much as I can. If you like, you may open out your heart to me."

   As I told her the woeful tale of my love from the beginning to the end, she listened to it silently. On a number of occasions in this process, I had a feeling that she herself would burst into tears, but in a courageous manner, she controlled her nerves and prevented herself from breaking down, because she knew that if she too lost heart, it would be impossible for me to save myself from total collapse. Even after I had finished my story, she spent a lot of time trying to keep her nerves under control. I could very well imagine the feelings in the heart of that tender and delicate girl but she did not allow me to become aware of the violent storms of passions raging inside her. At times, the silence between two persons proves to be a more effective medium of communication than words and sentences and same was the case with us at that time. For a long time, she silently sat with me, holding my hands and trying to communicate her words and meanings to me through her soft soothing touch. Finally, when the whiteness of the dawn became visible from the large windows and ventilators of the synagogue, we came out. The white cover of snow over the whole city had a dazzling impact on our eyes. The foot prints that we had left on the snow during the previous night while going into the synagogue could still be seen. The darkness of the night has its own magical effects which had forced me to lay bare all the feelings of my heart to Sarah inside the synagogue. But as soon as the morning approached, I began to feel some embarrassment at my condition during the night. Sarah however, seemed fully determined to honour my feelings and without saying anything about the events of the night, she dropped me at my apartment at the time when London was still sleeping soundly. ? As I got down from the car, a milkman who was carrying bottles of milk on a bicycle passed by me and wished me good morning in English. Then with a smile, he looked towards Sarah who understood the meaning of his smile and became somewhat embarrassed. She was still sitting on the steering seat. I bent down on the side window and said, "I don't wish to lower the value of your rare feelings by using such ordinary words as thank you. I'll always remember this night."

    Sarah looked into my eyes and spoke gently. "There's no need for any thanks. I've always considered you quite different from others. The fact is that after the events of last night the respect which I have in my heart for you has increased to the highest level. Remember that whenever you need me, you'll always find me with you even before your calling me."

   "I know that it will always happen like this and this feeling will be of utmost value and importance for me."

    During the previous evening, while I was returning from the library, I had gone to the theatre with Sarah in her car. The bag full of my notes was still lying on the back seat of her car. I had completed my term paper while I was in the library in the evening. For two months, I had worked untiringly to complete my research work in the form of this term paper. I brought out the file of all the notes from the bag and handed it over to Sarah. "Here's my term paper. I want you to keep it with you. If due to certain reason, I'm unable to submit this term paper, I hope you'll submit it on my behalf so that it may become a part of the library's record."

   In astonishment, she began turning over the pages of the file. "Why are you saying such things? I've no hesitation in keeping it with me. But I'm sure that both of us would submit it together. Besides this, I'll compel Papa to allow you to read out your paper in the presence of all the university students at a special ceremony, because, you're fully entitled to present your views before others."

   Instead of disturbing her by telling her about the activities of Peter the Librarian, I gently scattered her silky hair with my hands, which brought smile on her face. Then, I waved my hand to bid her farewell and she went away in her car. I stood there watching her car turning into another direction from the last corner of my deserted street. When I went upstairs, I found that Kamran had got up and was ready to go to his work. Giving me a mug of hot coffee he remarked, "So my prince has finally returned home after the whole night's merry making. I've warned you several times to steer clear of that charming Jewish girl. But all my warnings seem to have fallen on your deaf ears. In the beginning, you used to spend your days in her company. But now even your nights are being spent under her spell. Medi dear, why don't you understand the simple fact that her father is a very powerful and influential Jew? I wonder how he has tolerated your presence in the university."

   Perhaps, from the window of his flat, Kamran had seen me getting down from Sarah's car. When I informed him of what Joseph had told me about Peter the Librarian, he rebuked the Jews in his own typical style and remarked, "For this very reason, I've been constantly advising you not to have any row with these people. You're fully aware of the laws of this country. You may be even deported from England at Peter's complaint against you. Jews have invested huge amounts of money in all the industries and businesses of this country and the law will surely be on their side. After the 9-11 attacks, they regard every Muslim as a terrorist. In response to the slightest complaint against a Muslim they react most swiftly and declare him a terrorist. A large number of Muslims have already been deported only on the basis of suspicion. I'm at a loss to understand as to why you're so keen to write your term paper on the subject of Holocaust. If the Jews insist that millions of Jews were killed in the holocaust, let them say so and to hell with them. Which treasures and medals are you expecting to get by denying the idea of holocaust? Moreover, even if you get a chance to read out your term paper in the presence of other students, who will appreciate or believe your research, because, most of them would be Jews who themselves have concocted the fictitious tale of holocaust?"

    "Even if no one is ready to believe in the authenticity of my research, at least, I believe in it. The fact is that they themselves know about the real truth, but the problem is that no one has ever been courageous enough to expose this truth to them. But I'm determined to expose this truth, whatever the consequences may be. Even if a single student at the university agrees with my views, I'll be sure to have achieved my objective. I don't care whether after this they burn my term paper or expel me from the country."

   Kamran seems frustrated. "But what's the use of this whole struggle? For whom are you embarking upon this hazardous adventure? Who's going to benefit from your laborious research? What's the purpose of this whole effort?"

    I was infuriated at his words. "So you believe that whatever I've just said to you is meaningless and purposeless? Don't you understand that a great benefit of my research is that it would enable the young generation to become aware of a flagrant lie which the Jews have been telling the whole world for decades? Another far more important objective of my research is to tell the people that the Jews propounded the myth of holocaust only to transform into reality their dream of establishing an independent Jewish state on the Palestinian land. All preparations for staging this drama had been made by them by the end of the First World War. It was the time when the Jews initiated a world wide campaign for raising funds needed for the accomplishment of their mission. The American, British and Russian political leaders were fully aware of the fact that although the Germans had been defeated and humiliated in the First World War, yet they would surely strike back. In order to prevent this eventuality, they conspired with the German Jews and urged them to act treacherously against Germany. Under the charismatic leadership of Hitler, the Germans started regrouping and soon, Hitler's real ambitions became evident from his massive military preparations. In these circumstances, American and European leaders who were hostile to Germany joined hands with the Jews and in order to win their support against Hitler, they promised to enable them to have their own Jewish state in the Palestinian territories including Jerusalem. At the end of the Second World War Hitler and his defeated German troops were accused of massacring millions of Jews in the Holocaust. But the Muslims of Palestine had to pay its price in the form of Jewish settlements and the Jewish state of Israel. If Hitler and his Nazi troops were responsible for the Holocaust, why did the Jews punish the Palestinian Muslims for the alleged wrong doings of Hitler? The simple fact is that the genocide of five to six million Jews during the Second World War is a false, fictitious and baseless story. It was virtually impossible for the Germans to build so many gas chambers. As a matter of fact, these gas chambers had been built during the War to dispose off the bodies of the German soldiers. Moreover, the Germans who had dumped all their resources into the War did not have adequate supplies of coal and other things required for operating these gas chambers. In fact, the Zionist Jews themselves concocted the tale of holocaust and gave a highly exaggerated version of the Jews killed during the War, only to achieve their own vested interests. By projecting themselves as innocent victims of aggression and persecution, they attempted to gain maximum benefits. As long as they are successful in their false and exaggerated propaganda, the Muslims of Palestine will continue to bear the brunt. The Jews started their propaganda campaign about the holocaust for the sake of their economic interests and for grabbing the Muslim lands and so far, they are highly successful in their propaganda. Now the situation is that the whole world regards their lie as truth while our truth is considered to be a lie. Someone has to take the initiative and try to show the real truth to the world. Remember that our decline started on that very day when we began considering ourselves in terms of Palestinians, Arabs, Egyptians and Pakistanis instead of Muslims. You know very well that the loss of a Jew living in one corner of the world is regarded as a personal loss by the Jews living in the rest of the world. But why can't the Muslims adopt a similar attitude?"

     Standing at the same place and without saying a single word, Kamran listened to my whole speech. At last, I also became exhausted and fell down on the sofa. Soon afterwards, I felt the pressure of Kamran's hand on my shoulder and as I looked towards him, He pulled my arm, made me stand up and hugged me. "Why is it that you always win every battle single handedly? Since childhood, you've been defeating me but today's defeat has been the most enjoyable of all. If you've got such a supreme objective in your mind and if you intend to awaken the sense of loss in the hearts of the Muslims, no sacrifice should be spared for the completion of this noble mission. With my limited vision, how could I be far sighted enough to probe into the greatness of your project?"

   "I've never claimed to be a staunch Muslim or a perfect Believer. But while living here among the Jews, I've realized that we the Muslims have got something very special, which frightens and annoys the Jews. I'm treading on this dangerous path only to explore that special feature of ours. I want you to pray for me to remain steadfast in my journey. I may be the first drop of rain but I must fall because some other drops of rain may also fall after me. These few drops of rain may wash away some of the rust which has been on our hearts for centuries."

    Kamran patted me on my back encouragingly and said, "I'm sure that the rust of our heart would be removed. Even the worst rust in the world is bound to perish if washed with such a holy water."

   Both Kamran and I had spent our lives in a carefree mood but today while talking to each other, we were sure that something very serious had touched our hearts. Perhaps, this is how our lives take sudden turns and our hearts are revolutionized. Perhaps, this is how the rust of our hearts is always in need of some holy water for its removal. While I was still engrossed in such thoughts, I fell asleep. Sleep is indeed, one of the greatest blessings of God as it temporarily conceals every rust of the heart. And gives man the opportunity to avoid looking towards himself.

CHAPTER 32

      THE FIRST BATTLE

The moment I entered the University the next morning, I realized that its atmosphere was somewhat changed. First of all, I saw Jim, who quickly came to me, caught my hand and said, "Hi Medi, don't worry. We're all with you and if needed, we'll bring about an earthquake in the whole University. Within a few minutes, all the students crowded around me and began assuring me of their unequivocal support and co-operation. As I was trying to comprehend this new situation, my name was announced on the loud speaker and I was summoned by the dean sir Isaac in his office. As I entered Isaac's room, the first man whom I saw sitting there with him was Peter, in charge of the library in the Central Square. The moment he saw me, an ironical smile appeared on his lips and Isaac started speaking. "Come on Mr. Hammad, I hope by now, you must have read the note against you at the University's notice board."

    It then became clear to me that the students had gathered around me outside the office after reading the news about me on the notice board.

   "No sir, I've just arrived at the University and haven't read the notice board. Please tell me something about it."

   "But before that, I would like to ask you a question. Suppose you are the chief executive of an educational institution and you come to know that some students are deliberately encouraging religious politics in the institution, which may create unrest in the city. How would you handle that situation?"

   "In such a situation, I would conduct a full and unbiased inquiry into the matter and decide the case on the basis of merit and justice. I expect to get justice from you, because being the head of the institution; you have the additional duties of the chief inquiry officer. I know that you are an efficient teacher and a just administrator."

   Sir Isaac carefully looked towards me, as if trying to find some traces of irony or bitterness on my face. Then, he shook his head and asked me if I had ever met Mr. Peter.

   "Yes sir, I've often met him during my visits to the Central Square Library."

   "Did you go to that library in the evening on January 13?"

   "Yes sir. I needed two articles which could be very helpful to me in the completion of my term paper."

   "Mr. Peter has filed a written application against you that you subjected him to religious harassment and threatened him with serious consequences when he could not provide you your required books. Although he feels that his life is in danger, he has been kind enough not to report the matter to the London police or administration, to save the University's reputation. He has approached me in the hope of getting justice. What do you say about it?"

    "It's a lie. I've never harassed him nor have I ever tried to threaten him."

    "Do you have some evidence to prove your innocence?"

   "Innocence never requires any evidence or proofs. Evidence has to be provided by the accuser."

   Sir Isaac cast a glance on me from behind the thin glasses of his spectacles, as if trying to note the level of my confidence in that difficult situation. "Your arguments carry weight but Mr. Peter doesn't have personal rivalry with you and there's no need for him to accuse you without any reason."

   "I also want to know why he is accusing me. I hope he'll produce some evidence to prove the authenticity of his accusations."

   "All right, but in the meantime, you should file your written reply and remember that the University Administration is keen to decide this matter before it is reported to the police. According to the laws of the University, if a student is involved in any police case, he is immediately expelled from the University."

   "Yes sir. I know it very well. But it is also in my knowledge that one clause of the same law states that the charges against such a student must be proved before his expulsion from the University. Anyhow, I'll submit my written response. Thank you."

   Having said this, I came out of the room and Saw Sarah quickly going towards the Dean's room. Perhaps, she had just reached the University and as soon as she saw me, she rushed towards me. "O Hammad, what's all this? Is the University going to stage another anti-Hammad drama?"

    I briefly told her about Peter's complaint against me and about the incident that had taken place at the library.   

   "What's the name of that librarian?" She asked in astonishment.

   "Peter."

   "Peter Thomas. He's an old friend of my father. For several years, he has been coming to our home on religious festivals."

   There was a sudden flash of lightning in my mind. It was evident that sir Isaac had not yet forgotten the humiliation that he had to face at my hands in the incident involving Jim. He was the master mind behind this whole conspiracy. He wanted to kill two birds with one stone. He deliberately attempted to make my personality controversial and suspicious in the eyes of the University administration. Moreover, he was hoping that in case of my expulsion from the University, he would get rid of my term paper that had been the main source of worry for him. Sarah had also understood the whole situation and she dashed towards her father's room grinding her teeth. But I caught her hand. "No Sarah, I don't wish that once again due to me, a daughter should have another row with her father. It would further injure his egotistical feelings."

   Sarah looked towards me in surprise and anger. "Are you still thinking about his egotistical feelings and his relationship with me, despite knowing that he is bent upon expelling you from the University and perhaps, from this country as well?"

   "I know it very well. This time he has struck me with a deadly blow but even then, I don't want to show a rash and disproportionate reaction. He's fighting a legal battle in a wise and prudent manner and I'll fight with him in his own style."

   Sarah tightened her grip on my hand. "Not just you but both of us will fight this battle."   I was startled at her words. "The path is thorny and the journey is arduous."

   "I'm not afraid of counting the blisters of my feet. Didn't you say the other day that those who think in terms of profit and loss are traders? And you know that I've never been a trader."

   The firm resolution which was evident at that moment from her eyes and from her tone was sufficient to crush the mountains into powder. I scattered her neatly arranged hair and she smiled. In the meantime, sir Isaac came out of the room to say good-bye to Peter. On seeing Sarah's scattered hair and her looking towards me with a smiling face, the colour of his face changed for a moment. But he knew well the art of concealing and controlling his feelings. After saying good-bye to Peter, he shut the door. Without seeing Sarah, Peter went into another direction.

   I wondered what my father might have thought if he had come to know that all the Jews of London were finding themselves in a difficult situation because of my term paper. Religion had never been given any particular importance in our family. Far from offering the five daily prayers, the members of my family used to go to the mosque on Fridays and on Eid days only to make a show of themselves. They regarded the Quran as a holy book, not for the sake of getting guidance but for the sake of placing it with full reverence in the highly decorated shelves. It was brought down from the shelf for the last time on the eve of my elder sister's marriage only as a formality. I will always remember an incident that took place when I was about 15 or 16 years of age. I took a fancy to a Hindu class fellow of mine named Kamni. One day, she came to our home to attend my birthday. A Maulvi used to come to our home in those days in order to teach us the Holy Quran. He used to force us to perform ablution and offer the Asr Prayer with him. When Kamni arrived that evening, we were standing for the Asr Prayer with him. As soon as I saw Kamni, I cut short my Prayer and ran to another room, so that she might not be able to see me offering the Prayer. In fact, I never liked to offer my Prayers in the presence of any of my girl friends. I had a strange feeling in my heart that if my girl friends saw me offering the Prayers, they would not get a good impression of my personality. That evening, my father went on laughing for a long time when I told him how on seeing Kamni, I had cut short my Prayer and run away to hide in another room .

   That morning, when Peter came to the University, I realized the fact that a large number of students were eager to read and hear my term paper, because the rash and unwise actions of the university administration against me had significantly increased the curiosity of all the students about it. They were forced to think that there must be something very special in my term paper, which had compelled the University administration to prevent me from reading it in public. Apparently, it was a simple term paper like so many other term papers which were submitted every year only to be buried under the heaps of dust in the shelves of the university library. But sir Isaac made a major mistake by preventing me from reading it in public because by doing so, he had considerably flared up the curiosity of the students about my term paper and its subject matter. They were all curious to know and hear what I had to say on this topic. If my term paper had been treated as any other ordinary term paper and if I had been allowed to read it in the presence of other students, it might have proved controversial, but it would not have had that impact on the students which it was having now when I had been prohibited from reading it publicly.

   That evening, while I was sitting on my favourite bench along the canal and watching the birds diving in the water, Rebecca also came there. On her black skirt, she was wearing a beautiful shirt having white floral patterns. In this dress, she herself looked like a flower. Her red eyes indicated that she had been weeping. For a long time, both of us remained silent for a while and then she spoke, "Do I still have the right to apologize to you?"

   In astonishment I looked towards her. "Friends have got every right except the right of apologizing. This right can never be granted to them because it is never required in the case of true friendship. A good friend can never be wrong and, therefore, there can be no question of any apology or forgiveness."

    "No. It was I who made a big mistake but I knew about your large heartedness and your possible response to my apology."

   "Don't say such things now. We've met after so many days, say something else."

   "No Medi, let me say it now, otherwise, it will always torture me like a sharp thorn. On that day when you told me that you were already passionately in love with someone else, I was filled with a bitter feeling of jealousy. I thought that it was Sarah who had captured your heart and mind and, therefore, I was very much annoyed with her. But yesterday, when Sarah told me about Iman, I was overwhelmed with the feelings of embarrassment and shame at my own attitude. It then became clear to me that my love is only superficial while you loved someone in the real sense of the word. As far as humble people like me and others are concerned, none of us can claim to have passed through even the first phase of love. So how can we expect to reach the evening of love?"

    With her bent head, Rebecca went on shedding tears for a long time, while her hand was in the firm grip of my hand. "No Rebi, that's not the case. Within a single moment, you've crossed the three stages of love and reached its evening; otherwise, you wouldn't have been sitting with me here this evening and making such confessions. In fact, you fully deserve to enjoy the cold and sweet evening of love, which is hovering somewhere around you."

   Rebecca again burst into tears. "No Medi, that's not the case with me. If it had been so, my heart wouldn't have been filled with such an agonizing pain and crippling sorrow, nor would I have been shedding tears in your presence like some timid and less courageous person. I'm so unfortunate and ungrateful that I couldn't appreciate the real worth and value of your rare and unique friendship. In the hope of winning your love, I rejected your friendship. Never forgive me for this love. Never have any mercy on me for this crime."

    She was now weeping hysterically. I pressed her head against my shoulder and allowed her to weep as much as she wanted. When the sharp thorns of love injure the whole body, the severity of their pain can be reduced to a certain extent only by means of the flood of salty tears. Perhaps, the deadly poison of love is also salty like tears.

   On the next day, I came to know that in order to prove the authenticity of his claim, Peter had presented two of his subordinates at the library before the University administration as witnesses. Of course, both of them were Jews. I was temporarily barred from taking classes because, as long as the inquiry against me was going on, the University administration could not afford to see further unrest at the campus. When this news spread in the University, all the students of my class came out and began chanting slogans in my favour. They were holding large banners and placards with the words "Justice, justice justice" written on them. The infuriated protesters were led by Jim and Rebecca. In their outrage and fury, they were threatening that if I was not allowed to attend my classes, together with all the students of the University, they would go out on the roads and spread this strike to all the educational institutions of London. Protesting students could be seen everywhere in the University grounds, along the canal, in the corridors and even on the roofs. When I came out of the class, their slogans became noisier. Tears appeared in my eyes while watching all of them fighting for a foreign boy. At that moment, I felt as if Iman appeared from behind a pillar and began talking to me. "Hammad, didn't I tell you that you would never be alone. I'll always be with you in the form of love and friendship. My love will continue to hover around you in different forms and manifestations. I'll make you such a reliable and lovable person that wherever you go, people would always be willing to lay down their lives for you. My love will always give you a protective cover of greatness and security."

   On seeing me standing with tearful eyes, Jim came forward and held me in his arms and the whole University began echoing with loud slogans. As tears flowed out from my eyes, Jim further tightened his grip on my body, while Rebecca wiped away my tears with her handkerchief. Then, she came closer to me and whispered into my ears, "O my rebellious boy, don't worry, we're all with you."

   I looked around in search of Sarah but she was not seen anywhere. In the meantime, it was announced from the dean's room that I must immediately go there. The noise of the students arose once again and all of them accompanied me towards the Dean's room. One of my hands was in Rebecca's hand while Jim was holding my other hand. Leaving all of them outside the room, I went in and saw Sarah who was going out of the room with her face red with rage. She collided with me while I was still standing in the door. While going out of the room, she caught my hand for a moment, looked straight into my eyes and said, "Don't worry. They can't do any harm to you. On behalf of all the students of the University, I have given a call for strike and informed the administration about it. Now, we'll see how they can expel you from this university."

    Sarah left my hand and went out while inside the room, sir Isaac was walking about in a furious mood. The sight of me talking to his daughter, almost disfigured his face with anger and frustration. Two other members of the jury were also sitting on the other side of the table. In extreme anger, sir Isaac looked towards me and roared, "Have you seen Mr. Hammad Amjad Raza the way in which the discipline of this university is being shattered for the first time only because of you? I can't bear all this. You have tarnished the image of this university and for the first time, students have become courageous enough to defy my orders. I believe that you alone are responsible for this whole mess."

   I calmly listened to whatever he was saying. "Sir, how can you say so? I came to the University only half an hour ago while all these students have been present here around your office since nine in the morning."

    "You're such a dangerous person that your presence or absence doesn't make any difference. You have the ability to mislead and incite them even in your absence. Your presence is a constant danger for the peace and security of this university."

   If it had been in his power at that moment, he would have felt no hesitation in eliminating me from the face of the earth. I again spoke in a low gentle tone. "Sir, you seem to be habitual of making one-sided decisions. By means of your unilateral decision, you barred me from attending my classes but I didn't protest against it, because I wanted the inquiry to go ahead smoothly without any interruption. Even now< I'm ready to face the jury's verdict whatever it may be."

   My answer made him literally speechless and he could do nothing except grinding his teeth. By provoking and intimidating me, in the presence of other jury members, he wanted to achieve some objectives, but by now, I had fully understood all his tricks and twists and known how to deal with him.

   Members of the jury informed me that they had granted me the permission to resume taking my classes unconditionally, but I would not be able to deposit my term paper in the record of the University's library. However, they added that this restriction might be lifted if the inquiry committee decided the case in my favour. After announcing their decision, members of the jury requested me to try to control the students and compel them to go to their classes. The reason was that the agitation of the students was likely to cross the boundaries of the University and in that case, it would be a serious blow to the University's reputation. I promised that I would appeal to the students to call off their strike. Members of the jury went out of the room and I also stood up to go. Sir Isaac who was still restlessly walking about in the room called me from behind. "Mr. Hammad, Sarah is my only daughter and is very dear to me, but she is still somewhat foolish. Her mother and I have decided that she should be married the next year to a boy who belongs to our own family and who is the centre of all our hopes. Hopefully, till that time, you would be at the University and attend her marriage ceremony as her best friend."

    "You need not worry sir. Sarah is indeed my best friend and I'll surely attend her marriage, even if it requires me to come here again from my country. I'll be eagerly waiting for your invitation card."

   Thus, in England as well, besides religion, a loving father was battling against me. He was apprehensive that I might take away her beloved daughter from him. Do the parents of all the girls think in the same manner? In Quetta, there was Maulvi Alimuddin and here in London, there was Isaac, thinking in the same manner. With a great deal of difficulty, I prevailed upon the protesting students to return to their classes. Jim was determined to continue the agitation till all the charges against me were dropped and I had to request him most humbly to end the strike for the time being. Rebecca was outraged when she heard that I had agreed not to submit my term paper. I tried to make her understand that the whole conspiracy had been designed to prevent me from submitting my term paper, but I did not want Jim or any other student to suffer in any way because of me. The best option available to me at that time was to wait for the verdict of the inquiry committee. Standing silently, Sarah was hearing all this discussion but it was evident from the expressions on her face that she was lost in some deep thoughts. She seemed to be contemplating on several questions which were cropping up in her mind, but was unable to ask any of these questions openly. A bitter conflict seemed to be going on in her mind. I cast an inquisitive look on her and snapped my fingers to bring her out of her reverie. "Hey Miss Isaac, you see, how terribly people are afraid of us. The word Muslim has never been as frightening for the world as it is now. Your father has already invited me to attend your marriage which is likely to take place some time next year. He's afraid that I might elope with you. Both Sarah and Rebecca laughed. After heaving a cold sigh Rebecca remarked, "Alas, sir Isaac doesn't know that you may not elope with some girl but several girls like me are waiting for a suitable opportunity to elope with you."

   Her funny remarks were bringing smiles on all the faces but I noticed that Sarah was still lost in her own deep and complex thoughts.

   The main hall of the University was jam-packed with students that day. After submitting their term papers, all the students had gathered there, because some of them who had been selected by the administration were given the prestigious honour of reading out their research papers publicly in the presence of all the students. It was decided that only those three students who had secured the first three positions in the previous semester would present their research before the audience on that occasion. It was a grand ceremony with the mayor of London as the chief guest. In view of the much publicized confrontation between me and the administration that had been going on during the past few days, the number of people attending the function had increased considerably. Perhaps, the news of this row had reached far and wide. Of course, in this age of science and technology, it is extremely difficult to keep the people ignorant of some important event. Like the previous years, a large number of reporters and photographers were also present on that occasion, to highlight the importance of this annual ceremony of the University. Only a handful of them knew me by face but as Joseph told me, all of them had heard my name and were eager to know more about me. After some time, Sir Isaac appeared on the stage, thanked the chief guest and announced the names of those people who had been donating millions of pounds each year to the university. Most of them were Jews and were present in the first row of the guests sitting in the hall. The children of many of them were studying at the same University. When the ceremony officially began, some brilliant students were awarded medals and certificates for their exceptional ability and extraordinary performance. Afterwards, those students who had been selected by the administration were invited to come on the stage and read out their research based term papers. Sarah's name was also included in the list of these students, because as usual, she had got the first position in the previous semester. First of all, a female student named Jenny Fox read out her paper on Economics. It was highly appreciated and applauded by the audience. Afterwards, a First Year student named Martin presented his research about the old buildings of London. It was also an excellent paper which also received loud applause from the listeners. Then, Sarah was invited to come on the stage. She was clad in black coat and black trousers. Besides her white shirt, her favourite red scarf could also be seen in her neck. Once, she had told me that she loved to wear that red scarf only on special occasions. Her long hair had been tightly tied at the back of her head and if seen from a distance, she looked like the student of a convent school. When her name was announced, all the students of my class, especially Jim and Rebecca made a lot of noise. With a smiling face, she went up the stage in a very confident mood. After thanking all the guests and the chief guest who was presiding over the ceremony, she turned over the first page of her paper which was placed on the glass rostrum in front of her. "As all of you know very well that the topic of my paper is "Holocaust, a myth or reality?" Three months ago, I won a prize on the basis of the first part of this paper. Today, I would like to present to you its second part. I hope all of you would listen to me attentively."

    Sitting in the first row, sir Isaac was happily and proudly observing the confident style of his daughter. He informed the mayor and some other special guests sitting near him that she was his daughter. All of them nodded their heads in appreciation. Sarah continued her lecture: "I feel no hesitation in admitting the fact that while I was writing the first part of the paper, I mainly concentrated on gathering the relevant material instead of focusing on research. Perhaps, till that time, I was not in the habit of doing real research, or it may be that after becoming habitual of seeing only one side of the picture, I didn't feel the need of having a look at its other side. But today's paper of mine is fully based on research and is full of solid arguments. My father sir Isaac has always taught me that I should always hear and speak the truth without any fear and the fact is that if today, I'm proudly standing before you on this stage, it's only because of him, who is not only my father but also my best teacher."

   She received enthusiastic applause from all the people sitting in the hall and her father was immensely elated at her performance. After reading the first page of her paper, she turned over the next page. "While conducting my research on the concept of holocaust, I noticed a strange type of confrontation between myth and reality, truth and hypothesis. This confrontation was going on outside as well as inside my mind. For the first time in my life I observed that some people are extremely reluctant to hear and speak the truth. But then a strange man who came into our life changed everything for me. After Papa, he was the second man who taught me the lesson of truth. I also came to know how a person can be courageous enough to stand resolutely on the side of truth despite facing hostility from the whole world. The research paper that I'm going to read out to you isn't my research. It is in fact the research conducted by that same truthful man named Hammad Raza."

    Her words seemed to have caused a bomb explosion in the hall which was filled with deafening noise. In extreme anger and frustration, sir Isaac stood up and shouted to someone to switch off the microphone. But by that time, Jim and David had seized control of the audio system working in the hall. Sarah's dramatic action had an electrifying impact on the dozing photographers and reporters who began taking the snaps of Sarah her father and other people. The Mayor whispered something into Isaac's ears. Perhaps, he wanted to draw his attention towards the news reporters and photographers. Wringing his hands in utter helplessness, sir Isaac again sat down on his seat. For me too, it was nothing less than a sudden explosion. I could never imagine that instead of presenting her own research paper, Sarah would read out mine. . It was impossible to imagine the extent of the courage of that apparently delicate girl. In her defiant mood, she continued her speech: "David Ben-Gurion, the leader of the Zionist World Order and first Prime Minister of Israel, laid the basis of the propaganda of holocaust. He accused the German Nazi leader Adolf Hitler of exterminating millions of Jews during the Second World War. The reason was that the British and American leaders had promised with the Jews that at the end of the war, they would be given their own independent state in Palestine."

    As Sarah continued the reading of my term paper, a strange silence prevailed in the hall. "The question is why was this allegation brought against Hitler and the German troops? It is obvious that Hitler had a strong hatred for the Jews who were expelled from Germany after the First World War. The control of arms and ammunition factories was taken away from the Jews. They were removed from all the key posts which they had been holding in the country and replaced by the Germans. In this way, the Jews turned bitterly against Germany. This anti-Semitic attitude was seen at that time not only in Germany but also in Rumania and other European countries. The idea of holocaust also evolved in the same circumstances. In the beginning, after going through several pro-holocaust books, I began to regard holocaust as a true story. But in the light of Hammad Raza's research, I can say it with full confidence and without any hesitation that none of the Jewish writers, scholars and researchers has ever been able to present even a single solid proof in support of their claim that five to six million Jews were killed by the Nazis during the Second World War. No doubt, Jews were killed by the Germans during the War, but all the reliable and authentic evidence proves beyond any doubt that the number of Jews killed at that time was not more than a few thousand."

   Sir Isaac made another futile attempt to go out of the hall, but by that time, even those people who had been standing outside the hall had also come in. There was so much rush of people near the door and in the passage between the seats that he was left with no option but to stay at his own place in the room. In the meantime, Sarah continued her speech: "Another important question that arises in our minds is that if the Nazis had massacred such a large number of Jews, why was it not reported in the Newspapers and magazines of that time? After a detailed study of all the notable newspapers, journals and magazines published during the War and immediately afterwards, I have not been able to find even a single story of any such mass murder of Jews published anywhere in the world not even in the countries which were opposed to Germany during the War. When the Germans were killing the Jews on such a large scale, (as it is said), why was the world press silent about it? The third notable question in this connection is that if German Nazis were responsible for the widespread massacre of Jews, why did the Jews  migrated to Palestine, Jerusalem and the Golan Heights shortly after the War? Instead of punishing the Germans, why were the innocent Muslims of Palestine persecuted and deprived of their homes and lands where they had been living for centuries? It is true that every Jew regards Jerusalem as something more sacred than his own life. But is it necessary for the Jews to try to legitimize their mass migration towards Jerusalem by means of the false and fictitious tale of Holocaust? If Germans were the real culprits in the eyes of the Jews, why didn't they (the Jews) take any considerable action against them even after the capitulation of Germany in the War?"

    After this, Sarah read out the names of all those books from which I had gathered the evidence against the idea of holocaust and urged all the students to go through these books in order to fully understand the matter. I'm sure that during the past few days, Sarah herself must have read all the books which were my source materials and on which I had laid the foundation of my research.

     Summing up her speech, Sarah remarked, "The question is not whether holocaust is a myth or reality. The question is why are our people so much afraid of presenting the truth and hearing it? I call upon all the representatives of this new generation to come forward and unveil the truth. If a few decades ago, our ancestors made false statements to achieve certain objectives, is it necessary for us to follow their footsteps and remain in the world of lies and deceptions? We must march forward and try to explore the real truth. The term paper written by Hammad Amjad Raza is only the first step in this direction. Through his research, he has invited our new generation to take our own initiatives to find out the real truth. Nowhere in his paper has he categorically rejected the idea of the holocaust. He has only highlighted the loopholes on this idea and raised some objections about its authenticity. He is of the view that if the cruelties and atrocities of a nation are proved, it is an act of injustice to take the revenge from another nation through a conspiracy. The term paper written by Hammad cannot bring about any change in the boundaries of Israel, because what is done cannot be undone. However, by means of our honest assessment of the whole situation, we can pinpoint those who deliberately told lies on certain occasions to mislead the people for their own vested interests. If three generations ago people did something good or bad, why should we try to defend their actions? If we are really interested in promoting peace and prosperity in the world, our youngsters must come forward and play their due role in this movement. It doesn't matter whether they are Jews or Muslims, Europeans or Americans, Asians or Africans. We must take our own bold and truthful initiatives for peace, instead of bothering about what the ancestors of a nation or race did in the past. They might have done something which they considered to be right but which was proved wrong by the time. Whatever they did, good or bad, has now become a story of the past. But we have to live in the present and think about the future. If we continue to conceal or justify the wrong doings and crimes of our forefathers, it would become a greater crime because we are doing it intentionally and deliberately, though at the time they were committed, their perpetrators might not have regarded them as crimes or wrong doings. I call upon all the members of my generation that they may belong to any community, race or religion, but instead of blindly believing in the authenticity or falsehood of Holocaust or any other concept or theory, they must conduct their own unbiased, honest and thorough research into the matter. Instead of constantly living under the dark and ominous shadow of hatred and hostilities created by our forefathers, we must build up our own friendships on the basis of our own realistic and truthful ideas."

   After reading the last page of my term paper, as Sarah stepped forward to come down from the stage, death-like silence prevailed in the hall for a long time. Then, the mayor of London who was acting as the chief guest, stood up and clapped for Sarah. Within no time, the hall was reverberating with thunderous applause, loud cheers and emotionally charged slogans in praise of Sarah and her courage. As all the photographers became busy taking her snaps, she herself got down from the stage, came to me, gave me my term paper and said with a smiling face, "Here's your term paper. I've fulfilled my promise. Each and every student of this university will receive a copy of your term paper before the setting of the sun this evening. You invited all of us to embark on the journey of truth and today, I've taken the first step on this road. I'm sure that within a short period, you will be accompanied by hundreds of thousands of other people eager to make their contributions to the success of your glorious mission. We were surrounded by a huge crowd of students, news reporters and our personal friends. Photographers were taking our snaps while reporters were asking us all sorts of questions. All of a sudden, amidst this noise and clamour, I saw Iman standing in front of me instead if Sarah. As I looked towards her in astonishment, I felt as if the whole crowd had suddenly become silent and motionless. With her typical smile, Iman spoke to me in her soft and gentle voice, "Didn't I say to you that love conquers all?"

   The very next moment, Iman was again replaced by Sarah. We were encircled by Rebecca, Tina, Jim and other students, who wanted to save us from the rush and push of the crowd. As I scattered Sarah's hair with my fingers, she smiled and with her, the whole world and the whole universe also smiled.

      CHAPTER 33

     THE YOUTH REVOLUTION

   After witnessing the dramatic events at the University that day, I accompanied Rebecca to a hotel, where she had invited her special friends to dinner, in order to celebrate the occasion. It was almost midnight when I finally returned home and went to bed. Later, I was suddenly roused from my sleep when Kamran came into my room in a very excited and cheerful mood. "So my prince has arrived back and is sleeping soundly after igniting fire in the whole city."

    "Didn't you go to your restaurant today?" I asked him looking to wards him with my eyes full of sleep.

    "I'm coming back from the same place, which is also thronged with your ardent admirers, who are all eager to have a glimpse of yours. All the newspapers have given extensive coverage to the speech made by that beautiful Jewish girl at the University yesterday. The photographs of both of you have appeared in all the newspapers. I can say with full confidence and without any hesitation that if you announced your participation in the coming elections, you will be elected as Mayor unopposed. The fact is that when these white youngsters award the title of hero to someone, it's not so easy to deprive him of this title."

    Kamran gave me a bundle of that morning's newspapers. The first page of each newspaper carried large photographs of Sarah making speech in the University hall and returning my term paper to me in the presence of all the people. There were several other pictures of both of us in the newspapers. Almost all the newspapers had described Sarah's speech and the whole incident as the start of "Youth revolution." On the other hand, the newspapers owned, published and financed by the Jews bitterly condemned Sarah's speech and my term paper on the subject of Holocaust and dismissed the whole incident as sheer sentimentality. But at that time, the criticism and condemnation of such newspapers also contributed to the increase in our popularity. By means of her extraordinary courage, Sarah had conveyed my views to every nook and corner of the city and I was sure that through the newspapers and internet, they would reach the whole world within the next 24 hours. The incident had triggered a new debate among the youngsters who were urging their elders to assist them in their struggle for exploring and spreading the truth. Sarah had rightly said that the caravan of truth had started its unstoppable journey. In fact, she herself was leading that caravan. Some pro-Jewish newspapers attempted to defame me by giving an exaggerated account of my baseless dispute with Peter the librarian. Moreover, such newspapers had tried to give another colour to the whole incident by highlighting a photograph in which I was shown scattering Sarah's hair. Thus, the war had started and nobody could know how long it would go and what would be its outcome. Some newspapers had even gone to the extent of stating that I was a dangerous agent of a terrorist nation and had come to the University with a special agenda given to me by my nation. However, most of the newspapers had appreciated my message of unbiased thinking and research in order to find out the real truth. They congratulated Sarah, applauded her exceptional courage and described her as a brilliant girl who was bold enough to defy all the conventionalities even in the teeth of strongest opposition from the whole world. It was evident that I was achieving my objective. I had sparked off a debate and I knew that in the times to come, it would force the youngsters to reconsider their age-old beliefs and ideas. At the same time, the newspapers had pointed out some incidents which were quite alarming for me. Some incidents of violence had taken place in the outskirts of the city and in the Jewish settlements, in reaction to Sarah's speech. It was quite astonishing for me that the whole world was consistently describing the Muslims as terrorists, extremists, militants and fundamentalists, without taking any notice of the narrow minded and violent Jews, who were trying to provoke racial prejudice, only because a Jewish girl had taken the side of truth.

    As I woke up that day, I knew that I had to go to the University at two o' clock, but Kamran did not allow me to go alone, because he was much concerned about the sporadic incidents of violence that had taken place in the outskirts of Jewish settlements in London. In his own car, he dropped me at the University gate and instructed me to ring him up before going back from the University. He issued a strong warning to me that in view of the critical situation, I should not try to go home alone. Since childhood, he had always been behaving with me in the same manner. Whenever I had a dispute with someone at school or college, he would cling to me like my own shadow and never allow me to go anywhere alone till the danger was over. On several occasions, he had received injuries on his body for my sake. I wonder why such unique friends are not granted the status similar to that of our real parents. On account of the ceremony held during the previous day, the students at the University had been given a holiday and therefore, the University was almost empty. Only a few hostelites were present there and as soon as I entered through the gate, they welcomed me with loud cheers and slogans. I had been summoned by the university officials in connection with the inquiry that was going on against me and while I was on my way to Dean Isaac's room, the students present there expressed their strong support for me by patting me on my shoulders, shaking hands with me and hugging me warmly.

   The Dean's room presented the scene of a full bench court. In addition to the members of the jury, Peter and his two false witnesses, there were a couple of new faces in the room whom I had never seen before.  Sir Isaac was also sitting there and his swollen eyes and down cast face indicated that he must have had a bitter and stormy row with Sarah after Rebecca and I along with the rest of our group dropped her at her home at about two last night. I hadn't yet met Sarah since then but I could very well imagine the incidents that might have occurred at her home due to her defiant speech.

    The jury started its proceedings and read out the list of charges against me. An additional charge included in the list was that I had become a source of spoiling the University's reputation. Members of the jury seemed to be in some hurry. The fact that I had been summoned to face the inquiry on a holiday had already made me suspicious about their nefarious designs. One of the new-comers was a stout and bulky fellow named Parker, who was section in charge of London's secret police. He was accompanied by two agents of UK's internal security and intelligence service known as M I 5. Peter repeated his allegations against me and the two witnesses also recorded their statements in his favour. I again repeated my old statement that I had not done any such thing. But the jury rejected my statement and announced its decision to expel me from the university with immediate effect. Peter was authorized to file a defamation suit against me or to contact London Police in case he felt some danger from me. Perhaps for this very reason, policemen were also present that day during the jury's proceedings. Parker was closely watching me throughout this process. I asked Isaac if I had the right to appeal against the decision. He told me that the University's inquiry committee had announced its final decision however; I had the right to file an appeal against the decision in any court of London. But at the same time, he threatened me indirectly that if I challenged the decision in the court, he would not prevent Peter from reporting the matter to the London Police.

    The jury had announced its verdict but sir Isaac's face still remained downcast, perhaps, he could imagine the possible consequences of the verdict for him, his family and the University. He had already seen the reaction of the students when I had been temporarily barred from taking classes. Even after the announcement of the jury's decision, he went on talking to the jury members in a low whispering voice.

    At last, I came out of the room and was lost in my own thoughts when the bulky intelligence officer Parker called me from behind. When I turned and looked around, I found him standing quite close to me. He seemed to be in the habit of chewing gum all the time. After having a closer look at me he said, "So you're Hammad, the man who has ignited a fire in the whole city of London. Well, it means that you are quite capable of igniting fires. While members of the jjury were busy in their deliberations, I was very closely watching you. There was not the least touch of worry or anxiety on your face.

   "I knew that the jury would announce the same decision because the decision had been taken a long time ago, although it has been announced today."

   "Well, I really appreciate your confidence. But if you're hoping that by bringing the rest of the students of the University on the streets of London, you would be able to force the jury to reverse its decision, let me inform you that in anticipation of the hostile reaction of the students, the University administration has decided that the University would remain closed for the next fifteen days."

    After breaking this news to me, Parker again examined my facial expressions like a veteran police officer

    I looked towards him with a smile and spoke in the same confident tone. "You need not worry at all. In the eighty years history of this University, the students are getting a fortnight's holiday quite unexpectedly without any prior notice, and I'm sure that they'll enjoy it to the fullest extent."

   As I turned to go, Parker again called me. "What do you intend to do now?"

    "I haven't yet decided anything, but I'll face the false allegations brought against me."

   As I again started walking, Parker again spoke, "I know that the allegations against you are false."

    I stopped and looked towards him in astonishment. He was still busy in chewing gum. "If you know that the charges against me are false, why did you remain silent throughout the inquiry?"

    "Because, you had nothing to prove your innocence while they had with them some witnesses to give evidence against you. You don't know that your friend Sarah and you have created a massive stir in the whole administration and intelligence department of London. In view of the possible reaction from the students, all the police have been placed on high alert. Even if the University administration had not called us, the city's administration had already decided to take the matter into its own hands."

    "But how do you know that their charges against me are false?"

    "My dear, I've been associated with the police department for the last thirty years. The moment I cast my first glance on the face of that devilish librarian, I realized that he was telling a lie and I'm sure that he's playing this whole dirty game on the behest of the Dean of this university."

    He was really an experienced policeman who had penetrated into the depth of the matter within a very short time. "But before taking the next step, you must keep it in your mind that these people have made all arrangements of deporting you from London. I advise you to be very careful in taking any action against them."

    "How would the London police react if Peter takes the matter to the police?"

   Parker was surprised at my question. "You seem to be much more intelligent than I expected. In ordinary circumstances, the police would have summoned you to the nearest police station for some time and got some oral or written guarantee from you. Then, they would have advised both of you to remain careful in future and allowed you to go. The reason is that there is a huge difference between the police laws and the laws of a university. The police requires firm evidence to declare someone guilty. It can't describe someone as a criminal in the light of the evidence given by the two faithful employees of the accuser. But now the situation is totally different. After that day's ceremony and your friend's speech, the Jewish lobby has become very active. Almost seventy per cent of the charges brought against you by that Jewish librarian and his supporters have already been believed to be true. Moreover, the London administration and police are on high alert after the sporadic incidents of violence in different parts of the city. In these totally changed circumstances, the police may or may not take any action against you, but it will surely support the University administration in its stand against you. At this time, the University as well as the police regards you as a common threat."

    I thanked Parker for giving me the detailed analysis of the whole situation and promised to keep him informed about all my future steps. He patted me on my shoulder and went away. At that time, none of my friends including Sarah, Jim and Rebecca, was aware of my appearance before sir Isaac and the jury's verdict against me. I had not informed any of them about the sudden call that I had received from the inquiry committee, because I already knew that the jury would announce the same decision. Thus, somehow or the other, sir Isaac had achieved his objective. My mind was rapidly thinking about the circumstances that I might have to face in future. I telephoned Kamran and told him about the jury's decision. He promised to talk to some eminent lawyers about the whole affair. It was obvious that sir Isaac and his elite Jewish friends had started an all-out war against me. I was being punished for my views and for my attempt to show the path of truth and research to their young generation. Apparently, among all of my Jewish enemies, I could only identify the face of sir Isaac, who was using another Jew Peter as a puppet, for achieving his obnoxious designs. But in reality, all the narrow-minded and aristocratic Jews of London were fully collaborating with him in his conspiracy against me. They were infuriated and outraged when a courageous Muslim boy attempted to stand up against the most powerful capitalistic Jews, who were now fully determined to inflict the severest penalty on me to make me an example for others, so that no one in future could ever think of doing such things again. But I was delighted at the fact that Sarah had conveyed my message to every nook and corner of London, from where it would reach everywhere. While thinking about her unprecedented courage, I was filled with tender feelings for her. Could there be any other such girl in the world, who was ready to put everything at stake for championing the cause of truth?

      CHAPTER 35

     BIDDING FAREWELL

The next few days were highly eventful. Despite Jim's earnest efforts to keep the students under control, some students protested vigorously against the sudden closure of the University. One group of students held a noisy demonstration against sir Isaac and the jury. The pro-Jewish newspapers stepped up their propaganda campaign against me and gave a highly exaggerated account of all these incidents. They described my term paper as an attack on the sacred Jewish history. This vicious propaganda campaign led to a gradual increase in the number of violent incidents. In the meantime, Parker remained constantly in touch with me and continued his efforts to know about my response to his voluntary offer. On that evening, I was sitting with Kamran in his flat when I received a telephonic call from Parker.

    "All right Mr. Parker, I'm ready to leave London. But are you sure that my departure would lead to the deescalation of violence and tension in the city?"

    "I'm absolutely sure about that. You're the main target of Jews but unable to take any direct action against you, they are venting out their fury on the poor labour class and the hostile propaganda of the press is damaging the image and reputation of these poor workers. After your exit from the scene, they would be left with no more reason to continue their movement."

    "All right Mr. Parker, I'll leave the city after three days. You may convey this news to everyone through the media, so that my opponents as well as supporters may become aware of my plans and give up their violent activities. I can't see any other innocent person suffering because of me."

    For a while, silence prevailed in the telephone line. Then, Parker took a deep breath and spoke again. "I knew that you'd arrive at the same decision. With this confidence about you in my mind, I have so far been able to prevent London Police from taking any false action against you, although in this process, I had to face the criticism of many such people with whom I don't even like to talk in ordinary circumstances. Apparently, your opponents have been successful in expelling you from London but you've given a shattering blow to their age-old beliefs and concepts which they have been preaching to their young generation for decades. I'm sure that the members of their young generation would never forget the revolutionary ideas which you've given to them. You're indeed a brilliant and courageous young man. I wish you all the best."

    Having said this, Parker hung up and Kamran cast a worried glance on me. "So have you really made up your mind to leave the city? The war isn't over yet. I've talked to the most prominent lawyers of London and we'll continue to fight till the very end."

    "I'm not telling you to end the legal fight. You can continue to fight this legal battle even in my absence, but for the moment, it's better for me to disappear from the scene, because a large number of innocent persons are finding themselves in a difficult situation due to my presence in the city. Their only crime is that they are the followers of my religion."

    Kamran was justified in his anger but I stuck to my decision. Within a few hours, all of my friends came to know of my decision through the media. Sarah and Rebecca were the first to come to the flat where I was living. Rebecca was emotional and furious. "How have you taken such an arbitrary decision without taking us into confidence? We won't allow you to go anywhere. We would block all the roads and routes leading to the airport on the day of your departure. We won't even hesitate to lie down on the roads leading to the airport."

    "You should be very careful in selecting the road for this purpose, otherwise, the long hours that you spend daily on the make up of your face would be wasted."

    Rebecca laughed even in her anger but then, she shouted again. "It's not a joke, Mr. Medi. We have some rights on you and by virtue of these rights, I again insist that you won't go anywhere."

    Sarah was standing silently because she was aware of the motives behind my decision. While sitting in Kamran's restaurant a few days ago, I had told her about the discussion that I had with Parker. Moreover, she was closely monitoring the incidents of violence going on in the city. But despite knowing all these things, it was quite evident from her facial expressions that she had been shocked to hear about my decision.

    All of us were sitting around the tables placed on the footpath outside Kamran's restaurant. In a short while, Jim, David, Tina and others also arrived there and it was very hard indeed for me to cool down their passions. After explaining to them the reason for my leaving London I said, "I'm not going to leave this city forever. I'll always feel your presence like blood in my body. Wherever I live, my heart will always beat with your hearts."

    Tears were again and again appearing in Rebecca's eyes. In order to change the sad tone of the atmosphere I remarked, Instead of arranging a farewell party, some people are in the habit of bidding farewell to their friends only with the help of their tears."

    With her tearful eyes, Rebecca smiled and invited all the students of the class to her home for dinner the next evening. In order to console my friends, while sitting at the same place among them, I gave some instructions about my case to my lawyers on the mobile phone. During this whole process, Sarah was sitting there without saying even a single word. Perhaps, some conflict was going on in her mind. One after the other, all of my friends left the place and Sarah also went towards her Battle Car. I had come to the restaurant that evening with Kamran and was thinking of returning with him to his flat, but Sarah's gestures indicated that she wanted me to accompany her to some place. Realizing the situation, Kamran himself solved her difficulty. Addressing her he said, "Miss Isaac, I'll be extremely grateful to you if you drop my sentimental friend at my home on your way. In this way, I'll be able to do some more business at the restaurant. He's going to inherit a huge amount of money from his father, while my father only left good wishes and prayers for me.

    "Sarah smiled to hear his words and remarked, "It will be my pleasure."

    Kamran came close to me and whispered into my ears, "So my dear boy, enjoy your journey and be thankful to your generous friend who has given this wonderful chance to you. Standing near the car, she was actually waiting for me, but out of my infinite generosity, I have sacrificed my chance for your joy."

    In reply, I also whispered, "A cat always dreams of getting meat."

        As Kamran showed signs of displeasure, I got into Sarah's car. Standing at some distance, she had seen us whispering to each other.

    "What was your friend saying to you?"

    I told her what Kamran had said to me and she smiled. "Your friend is really worthy of friendship. I was reluctant to go home alone but couldn't ask you to accompany me in the presence of your friend, but he himself solved my problem. You've got so many good people around you while we can't find even a single one."

    I understood what she actually wanted to say and smiled. "So many good people are around me but I'm with you. Why to complain then?"

    Sarah smiled but the very next moment, the same signs of sadness appeared on her face. "So you're going after all, leaving us alone in this city?"

    "I'm always with you, always in your control."

    Sarah remained silent as if lost in some deep and complex mental conflict. Then, she spoke in a calm and calculated manner. "For several days, I've been trying to explore the reason which has made you an object of fear for so many people but all my attempts to find out that reason have so far ended up in failure. Even after studying the Torah and the Gospels again and again, I've not been able to discover the secret, which makes you so prominent among us and gives you a special status in your eyes. There's really something strange and mysterious among you which makes you so confident and determined that even my apparently strong minded father, despite his towering personality, seems to be a dwarf when compared with you. In fact, he looks like those thousands of tiny dwarfs who repeatedly conspire to bring down a tall prince but always fail miserably in their attempts. But what's that something special in you?"

    "Honestly speaking, I've got nothing to be proud of. If my religion is the cause of worry for my opponents, I can only say that all those who follow this religion are proud of it. But the fact is that I've never been able to properly fulfil even a single duty which my religion imposes on me. Frankly speaking, I consider myself to be a blemish for my religion. None of my actions is in conformity with this religion and you know very well that on account of the tragedy which happened with Iman, I've always regarded this religion as my enemy and an obstacle in the way of my happiness. Before coming to London, I strongly believed that Maulvi Alim who was the symbol of religion for me, snatched away my Iman from me. Till then, I had never imagined that this religion would make me so much important and give me such an elevated stature in the eyes of my friends that all of my opponents would be terribly afraid of me. I had never considered my religion to be a source of pride for me. But now, the hostility of so many people has made it a source of pride for me. Before coming to London, I hadn't even heard the word holocaust, nor did I ever feel any sympathy for the sufferings and hardships of the Palestinians. If so many difficulties had not been created in my way at the University, I might not have even thought of doing any research on the subject of holocaust. In that case, I might have regarded the holocaust only as an incident and might not have made any attempt to explore its truth or falsehood. In fact, it was sir Isaac who put me on this course. It was he who played the key role in awakening my passion of religious pride. But if there's some truth or message other than it which has terrified him, I'm myself unable to understand it."

    "I'm also in search of the same truth. Won't you assist me in finding it out, Hammad?"

    I was attentively listening to her. What could be that message or truth which she wanted to discover? It was late in the evening and the final rays of the sun were about to return after bidding farewell to the turrets of the tall buildings. Suddenly, a brilliant idea flashed across my mind on seeing a large dome rising above a building. At that time, we were passing through Central London which was inhabited by a large community of Asians. As Sarah parked her car along the road side, we got down from it and I could see in front of me the same building that had a tall minaret. The golden sun beams falling on the Minaret had brightened my mind as well. It was the largest mosque in Central London. Sarah looked towards me in astonishment as I spoke. "I may be able to read out to you a part of that message, if you observe certain formalities and come with me inside this building. Sarah silently followed me and as we entered the mosque, I saw a large number of taps for warm and cold water. As I started performing ablution, Sarah attentively looked towards me and washed her hands, face, arms and feet exactly as I was doing. Then, she sat down silently in the mosque's courtyard. I went inside and brought out a copy of the Holy Quran. I had touched this book after several years. I had held it for the last time when at the age of 13, I had finished its reading and the Maulvi had congratulated me on that occasion. Later, when Maulvi Alim used to come to our home for teaching Sunny, I used to hover around him for my own selfish interest. On those occasions, I could hear the words of the Quran as recited by the Maulvi. I opened the Quran and started the recitation of its Soorah (chapter) named Rahman, along with its translation. The following verse is repeated several times in this Soorah. "So which of thy Lord's favours will you deny?"

    While I was reciting this Soorah, Sarah was carefully listening. Later, when I lifted my eyes, I was stunned to see that the rust of her heart was flowing out of her eyes in the form of tears. I too could not control my tears and within a single moment, I could see several faces in front of my eyes. These were the faces of Maulvi Alim, Sufi Rehmatullah whom I met at the railway station, Abdullah and others who were fulfilling their duties as human beings and God's Servants, while I had not thanked God even for my existence in this world. Why do we come to this world? In what type of activities do we spend the whole of our life? Daily, instead of repenting on our past sins, we increase the bulk of our sins and continue to live in a carefree and indifferent manner, without any fear of accountability. All the way back, Sarah went on shedding tears and I too remained silent. At last, when she dropped me at Kamran's flat, she was looking quite calm after much weeping. While parting from Sarah that night, I realized for the first time how difficult sometimes it is to bid farewell to a sincere and dear friend. Sarah returned home while I lay tossing in my bed with a strange type of restlessness.

CHAPTER 36

    ANOTHER IMAN

The next evening, all of my class fellows and all the friends of Rebecca were present at her home. The only person who was absent was Sarah. Rebecca contacted all those places where Sarah could be present at that time, but she was nowhere. She tried all her phone numbers but all in vain. Then, she dialed her home number but there was nobody at her home. The call was attended by a domestic servant who knew Rebecca. He told her that after having a bitter row with sir Isaac in the morning, Sarah had gone somewhere. Sarah's Mama had also gone out in search of her and had not yet returned. When asked about sir Isaac, he told that he had gone to his office and was still at the University. Rebecca took me to a secluded corner of the party hall and gave this information. Both of us were much worried about Sarah and her safety. How could she go somewhere without telling anyone of us? We were hoping that she might arrive at the party after some time. But we were not in a position to leave the party and go in search of Sarah, because Rebecca was the host while I was the person for whom the whole show had been arranged. But we were much worried about Sarah and were not enjoying ourselves at the party. All of my class fellows were present there to encourage me and to express their full support for me. A number of students from the second semester were also there. One of the reasons for that large gathering was that Rebecca was extremely popular at the University. Even during the party, we repeatedly dialed Sarah's phone numbers but could get no information about her. Kamran was at the restaurant and was expected to join us after some time. I telephoned him and told him that before coming to Rebecca's home, he should go to Sarah's home. But when he arrived at the party, he also told us that he could get no information about Sarah. At last, the party was over and the guests began to leave one after the other. Each of them embraced me and assured me of full co-operation and support. Jim, David and Tina literally wept. It was indeed a strange relationship. Apparently, I had no relationship with them and yet, they were all so dear near and sincere to me on that day. They were fully determined to stand firmly by me, in the midst of hostile winds and tempestuous storms. I then realized that wars are won by means of high spirits and moral courage. If someone is fortunate enough to have such devoted friends, there is indeed no cause of worry for him. All of them had brought gifts for me and they all assured me that within a very short time, I would be back among them. Having witnessed their selfless love and sincerity for them, I could not stop the flow of tears from my eyes. Human heart is a unique and strange thing. It has the capacity to withstand the hostility of the whole world, but on observing the unadulterated love of friends, it spontaneously melts and expresses its tenderness in the form of tears. Rebecca had indeed arranged a spectacular party, perfect in all respects. All the guests thanked her for the party in her highly decorated palace-like home, where a number of uniformed waiters were present in the hall for the service of the guests. Rebecca had made excellent arrangements of food and music. Outside the house, she had arranged barbeque and musical orchestra near the swimming pool. The whole place was flooded with lights, colours and perfumes and was echoing with hilarious laughters, but the whole show looked dull and dreary on account of Sarah's mysterious absence. Jim, David and Tina were also repeatedly asking about her. At last, all were gone and only Kamran, Rebecca and I were left in the hall. I again thought of sending him in search of Sarah. It was almost midnight and by that time, Sarah should have arrived back home. While we were still thinking about her, Rebecca's special servant who had acted as the chief butler during the party came into the hall and informed her that Mr. Isaac had come and wanted to talk to Rebecca. It was indeed a stunning news for us. How could sir Isaac come there so late into the night? Acting upon Rebecca's instructions, her servant took sir Isaac to the drawing room and soon, we also went there. The moment I entered the drawing room, I saw sir Isaac who apologized to Rebecca for coming to her home at such a late hour. "Sarah hasn't arrived home yet, I thought she might be here with you. She has switched off her cell phone."

    "We too are much worried about her and have been trying to trace her since evening. Even now we were about to go in search of her when you came here."

    "In case you get some information about her, do tell me, Rebecca."

    Rebecca nodded her head and sir Isaac stood up to leave. While he was on is way towards the gate, I had a brief encounter with him during which, he glared at me with furious and contemptuous eyes.

"I won't allow you to snatch away my daughter from me. The final victory will be mine."

    "I had never intended to snatch away your daughter from you. You yourself have lost her. However, wherever she is, we'll find her. As far as the question of final victory is concerned, I think it's better for us to leave it to be decided by the final battle; otherwise, people might say that a student obstructed the path of his teacher."

    After casting a final look on me, sir Isaac went out. I was full of apprehensions about Sarah, as the city was full of her hidden enemies. I instructed Kamran to go to the East in search of her while I myself decided to travel to the West to all the places which Sarah had often described as her favourite places. As Kamran went away, Rebecca gave me the keys of her car. But then, she too decided to go with me in search of Sarah. After all, Sarah had been her closest friend since childhood and she knew about a number of places which were even unknown to me. First of all, Rebecca and I went to Sarah's school and college but were met with disappointment. When my worry and anxiety about Sarah became uncontrollable, I prayed to God most passionately and most earnestly for her safety. I prayed to the same God whom I had completely forgotten after Iman's demise, the same God with whom I was annoyed and whom I considered to be the chief cause of Iman's death. There come only a few moments in our life when we pray to God with all our sincerity, passion and devotion. It was also one such moment of my life. I had hardly finished my prayer when my mobile phone began ringing. It was Sarah calling me.

    "Sarah, where are you? You seem to have no idea of how much we are all worried about you. At this midnight hour, Rebecca and I are out on the streets of London in search of you."

   In a few angry remarks, I expressed all my feelings, while she listened without saying anything. At last, she spoke: "I know that all of you must have been greatly upset and disturbed because of my attitude, but I was helpless. At the time of life changing and momentous decisions, we are all in need of solitude. Anyhow, I'm going to give you an address. Come here at once with Rebecca. I'm waiting for you."

    After telling me her address, she hung up. We had already visited the place where she was at that moment. But the moment I heard the news that she was at that place, my heart suddenly started beating so violently that I had a feeling that it would soon leap out of my mouth. With a great deal of difficulty, I controlled my apparent condition and directed Rebecca to drive her car towards that place. Rebecca's astonishment was also evident from her face but in view of my condition, she too remained silent. Within a short time, we were in Central London and could see Sarah's Battle Car standing along the roadside, while she herself was standing nearby, clad in her blue fur coat, whose collars had been turned up by her in order to protect herself from cold. We could see from a distance that someone else was also standing beside her. Rebecca and I got down from the car and went towards Sarah. The sight of her Mama standing with her confounded both of us. Rebecca went briskly towards her and embraced her. At last, she spoke: "I'm sorry to have disturbed all of you in this way. I even disturbed my dear Mama at midnight hour, but I was left with no other alternative."

    It was quite evident from her Mama's eyes that she had been weeping with her daughter for a long time, but the storm of passion seemed to have passed off before our arrival and from their faces, they looked much relieved and calm. Mrs. Isaac caressed her daughter's cheeks and beckoned me to come near. As I advanced towards her in some confusion, she warmly hugged me, combed my hair with her fingers and said, "You're a truthful and courageous young man. I'm proud to know that my daughter has made friendship with a truthful and brave boy. I'll always be praying for Sarah and you."

    Unable to understand the situation, I looked towards Sarah inquiringly. It was about 4-30 or 4-45 in the morning, when all of a sudden, the whole place started echoing with the words of Azan (Call to Prayer). Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar (Allah is Great, Allah is Great). At that time, all of us were standing near the grand mosque in Central London where we had come during the previous night and had been able to wash off some of the rust of our hearts. Having observed my astonishment, Sarah smiled and said, "Hammad, I've heard and accepted the message of truth. Now, my way forward is quite clear. I told you that I was in search of the real sense of superiority and pride. Today, I've discovered it. As a result of your company, I can now see my goal which has always been present across the river of fire, but remained hidden from my eyes. Now, I have decided to cross this river and my great mother has also permitted me to do so. She has decided to stand by me and support me. On account of her own compulsions, she can't go with me across this river. But I'm contented with the thought that she, Rebecca and you are all with me."

Rebecca was constantly looking towards Sarah as if she had been watching something in a dream. After some pause, Sarah spoke again holding my and Rebecca's hands. "Let's march on the path of truth. Why to delay in this sacred journey?"

    In this dream-like atmosphere, all of us entered the mosque and were warmly welcomed by an English born Deputy Imam, who had a halo of light around his face. Perhaps, Sarah had already told him everything. While watching him, I remembered Maulvi Alimuddin. Do all the pious people have similar faces? In a respectful manner, he told us to sit under the dome. After reciting some supplications, he told Sarah to repeat the first Kalima after him. "There is no god but Allah." With a sharp sound, a group of pigeons who were picking up grains in the courtyard, flew in the air as to salute Sarah. Afterwards, Sarah repeated the words of the second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth Kalimas after him. While hearing her reciting these holy words, I remembered those days when for the sake of my own selfish motives, I had memorized all the six Kalimas in the hope of getting closer to Maulvi Alimuddin. For a moment, I felt that the English born white Deputy Imam of the mosque sitting in front of me had been replaced by Maulvi Alimuddin, accompanied by Abdullah with his smiling face. As I turned and looked towards Rebecca, I saw Sufi Rehmatullah sitting there in a cheerful mood and saying, "Well-done gentleman, while we were only looking out of the mosque through the window, you called him inside the mosque through that window."

    After ending her supplication, Sarah touched her face with her hands and Rebecca also put her scarf on her head and sat in a respectful manner. The Imam congratulated Sarah on starting her journey on the path of truth. Sarah's Mama was still shedding tears. Sarah caught her in her arms and kissed her passionately. With tearful eyes, Rebecca also tried her best to console her. I also caught Mrs. Isaac's hands because I could find no other means of consoling and encouraging her at that time. Mrs. Isaac was indeed a great woman and even greater was the relationship that existed between her and her daughter. They were like close intimate friends, or to be more exact, as hand in glove with each other. It is extremely difficult to find a mother in the whole world who, without caring the least for her family's reputation and her long standing relation with her husband, comes out of her home at midnight, in order to console her daughter who has decided to change her ancestral religion. Sarah and her mother were really unique and wonderful people and there must have been something special in the formative elements of their structures.

    When those emotional moments passed off, the Imam asked us about Sarah's new name as a Muslim girl. Mrs. Isaac looked towards Sarah and she looked towards me. Quite spontaneously, I said, "We're going to change her name."

    "Well, what new name do you suggest for her?"

    "Iman," I replied.

    Both Sarah and Rebecca looked towards me in astonishment.

    "What?"

    "Yes, I propose that her new name should be Iman."

    "Do you agree?" the Imam asked Sarah.

    "I regard this name as an honour for me," she replied.

    The Imam placed his hand on her head and prayed for her. Rebecca also bent forward her head and Sarah smiled. The Imam then placed his hand on my head and on Rebecca's head and prayed for both of us. The whiteness of the morning had appeared while the shadows of the dark night had vanished. With its milky white light, it was the most brilliant morning of my life. Iman was still firmly holding my hand when we came out of the mosque and walked towards our cars. It was a typical London morning, with the whole city under the cover of thick fog, due to which it was difficult for us to see Iman's car that had been parked only a few yards away from us. She looked into my eyes with a smile and said, "I may not be able to live in your heart but your God now lives in my heart."

    I held her face in my hands kissed her forehead and gave her delicate hand into her mother's hand. "It's the most valuable possession of my life; please take care of her."

    Mrs. Isaac smiled. "Don't worry my dear boy. Your most valuable possession is in safe hands. I'll always stand as a solid rock between her and everyone who has evil designs for her."

   Rebecca also stepped forward, held Iman in her arms, kissed her forehead and said, "You are the winner today. I'm proud to be your friend."

    I could very well imagine the dangers, challenges, hardships, trials and tribulations lying ahead for Sarah. But I was also well aware of the fact that she was an exceptionally courageous girl and knew how to tackle all the problems. It is interesting to note that I had used religion as a stepping stone to get closer to Maulvi Alim in the hope of getting Iman. But perhaps, there was some flaw or defect in all such attempts of mine. But this truthful girl did not use religion only as a means of attaining my love. Whatever she did was done by her most earnestly and most truthfully, without the least touch of hypocrisy or falsehood. Her love for me and God was pure and unadulterated. She was truthful in both her loves. In the thick fog of that morning, we parted from one another and got into our cars. As long as she could, Iman went on looking towards me, because she knew that I would leave London the next day, by the first flight and nobody knew for how long we would not be able to meet again. For a long time, Rebecca and I went on watching Iman's white Battle Car disappearing into the thick fog of London just as smoke dissolves into smoke. Then, Rebecca also moved forward her car.

CHAPTER 37

      NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE

When Kamran and I set out for London's Heathrow Airport, it was drizzling and by the time we reached the airport, this drizzle had changed into heavy rain. Throughout the way, I went on reading that morning's newspapers which had given extensive coverage to Sarah's conversion to Islam. The Pro-Jewish newspapers, had used very harsh words for her and had described the whole incident as an emotional girl's sacrifice of her religion for the sake of her love for a Muslim boy. Some romantic newspapers had described the incident as a grand victory for love and as a great embarrassment for sir Isaac. It was reported that sir Isaac had decided to disown Iman. In an interview, he had given her three days to acknowledge her mistake and return to her earlier religion if she wanted to inherit his property. In his interview, he had accused me of misguiding and misleading his daughter. The news of my departure from London was also reported in a number of newspapers. Perhaps, Iman had refused to talk to the news reporters. Only a single sentence spoken by her had been quoted in the newspapers. "Truth is a difficult and thorny path and love facilitates us in walking on this thorny path."

    As we arrived in the airport's parking lounge, I saw a huge crowd of my friends, supporters and well-wishers. First of all, dripping in rain, Rebecca dashed towards me, firmly clasped my hand and dragged me away from the crowd. We were becoming thoroughly wet with the downpour. "Stand with me for a few moments. I wish to absorb your whole existence through the eyes and print its image permanently on my heart, so that whenever in future I get a chance to look into my heart in solitude, I should see nothing except your image."

    Standing a few yards away, Jim, David, Tina and other were shouting loudly, but I did not want to disturb Rebecca in her crazy love. For a few moments, I allowed her to watch me with full concentration. While observing her tearful eyes, I remembered Charlie Chaplin who had said that he liked to walk in rains because in that condition, nobody could see his flowing tears. I stepped forward and scattered her wet hair. In her attempt to smile, she choked with emotions. She only regained her senses when I asked her about Iman. She looked around worriedly.

    "I don't know where she is. She must have arrived here by now."

    Quite indifferent to the heavy rain, all of my friends and class fellows had gathered in large numbers in the vast corridors of the airport. They were all carrying beautiful bouquets and were enthusiastically waving their hands and chanting slogans. This emotionally charged atmosphere was quite surprising for the members of the airport staff, because they had not been informed beforehand of any VIP passenger's coming to the airport that day. They were unaware of the simple fact that love has the power to grant you the status of the world's most important personality. My eyes were looking for Iman, but she was still seen nowhere. One after another, all of my friends met me for the last time. All of a sudden, I saw Parker's car coming at some distance. It was boarding time and through the glass door, I could see the passengers going into the hall in a queue. After Parker's car, two more police cars with their blue lights entered the compound of the airport. As usual, Parker was chewing the gum as he came out of his car. Afterwards, Iman and her Mama also came out of the same car. Iman rushed towards me and firmly clasped my hand.

    "A large number of hurdles have been placed in our way, but even then, you see, I've come here to say good-bye to you."

    "I knew you would surely come."

    Mrs. Isaac stepped forward, kissed my forehead and expressed good wishes for me. With a smiling face, Parker also came forward and remarked, "So at last, you're going my dear young rebel. But I knew that before leaving this place, you would win the final battle."

    Perhaps, he was referring to Iman.

    "I shall always be extremely grateful to you for enabling my friend to come here in these extremely difficult and dangerous circumstances."

    "My dear friend, there's no need for any thanksgiving. They had tried their best to block all the routes leading to the airport, but today, I was determined to do something which would always be a source of pride for me."

    Parker again embraced me very warmly. After meeting Parker, I went towards Iman who was standing silently with a bouquet in her hands. With a smile I looked towards the flowers in her hands. "Have you brought these flowers for me or do you intend to present them to Mr. Parker on your way back?"

    Iman smiled. "No, these flowers are only meant for you. But instead of giving them to you today, I would present them to you on the day when you would arrive back at the same airport and all of us would once again assemble here to welcome you. That blessed moment may come after centuries, but I'll continue to wait for it. On that occasion, you would see with your own eyes that these flowers would still be fresh and fragrant as they are today. They would never fade, never, never."

    While uttering these highly emotional words, her eyes were filled with tears and I realized that the deadly poison of parting was once again showing its effect. Perhaps, love and parting are inseparable. Love seems to have been created due to parting and for the sake of parting. If there had been no parting, there would have been no love. In the same way, man would not have come into existence, if there had been no concept of worshipping a Superior Being.

    Iman was finding it extremely difficult to control her feelings. The Boarding Lady was now calling my name from inside the room. Iman lifted her eyes and spoke again: "So you're going?"

    "No, I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be with you and very close to you."

    I gently scattered her hair with my fingers and she smiled. Then, without looking towards her, I quickly went into the Boarding Lounge. The thick dark glasses which I was wearing at that time, proved very helpful to me as it did not allow others to see the flood of my tears. I also love to walk in rains because in this condition, people cannot see my flowing tears. For the last time, I turned and looked towards those who had come to the airport. Iman, Kamran, Mrs. Isaac, Rebecca, Jim, David, Tina, Parker and a large number of others were still standing near the glass wall and waving their hands while looking towards me. All of them had gathered there in that heavy rain only because of me. In these circumstances, who can say that I was alone in London? Who can say that I was departing from London empty handed and without achieving anything? In this city, I had formed the world's most valuable relations and while leaving that city, I was considering myself to be the richest man on earth.

    For the last time, I looked towards all of them and waved my hand. I could feel the tears flowing out of Iman's eyes falling directly on my heart. Then, I turned around and was soon lost into the crowd of passengers. Soon, the aeroplane took off and sitting beside the window, I could see the city of London dissolving into fog. The drops of rain were falling on the window screen and vanishing into the air below. I remembered that six months ago, I had come to this city on a similar rainy morning, and while leaving it that day, rain was once again my companion. Rains are indeed a strange thing. At times, torrential rains continue to fall during our whole life, but our inside being always remains dry and arid. On other occasions, only a few drops of rain are quite sufficient to make us thoroughly wet, although the people around us are quite unaware of it.

    I had a last look on London disappearing into the white smoke of fog. Then, overwhelmed with emotions and exhaustion, I shut my eyes and began recalling the lines of an Urdu poem.

    "How are you," I said"

 

Are you the same or somewhat changed instead?

Do you still have the same old style and look?

Or is there some change in your life's book?

Are you feeling the pangs of separation?

Or is someone near you for your consolation?

I never liked this compulsive isolation,

Nor did I ever like this separation

We are still not away from each other,

Our souls are still tightly tied to each other

The tears falling from our eyes today,

Must have got something to say;

Your sweet, tender and melodious voice,

Is still with me as my favourite choice;

The flowers of love will blossom again,

You and I will meet again.

 

n That's It Guys!!..hope you all enjoyed it!..yaar man ive still gotta read it!..hahaa!..feel free to comment!!...:D..Chandzz!...^~^