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My Stories/OS/VMs (Page 85)

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 3:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by kkkloveu

It was a very nice story, i really loved it.
The first scene of abhijeet and daya was very good, and then that car scene was nice too.
I liked the bond you showed between the TRIO here but somehow i felt it was a bit over exaggerated please don't feel bad see somethings are better left unsaid. 
Like when abhijeet was shot while saving Acp sir, and acp sir had asked him "tumne aisa kyun kiya kuch ho jata toh" at that time it would have been good if abhijeet sir would have delivered a simple dialogue rather than that dialogue. But that is my personal opinion. Sorry if you felt bad.
The plot of the story was very nice although i failed to note the true reason why varun actually did that all. Dcp sir giving party to everyone was very nice to see.
It was really nice to read about viren and abhijeet sir being in the same scene, and abhijeet sir's embarrassment was very goodEmbarrassed. I always love that shy expression of ADi sir although it's not seen in cid. 

I would like to mention at last that i have read your both previous stories and they were both simply awesome but my personal favorite from all your works is MYSTERY OF SERIAL BLASTS...
It was a really nice story, with a very nice plot, good investigation, perfect dialogues, and perfect portrayal of team's emotions and ABHIJEET'S character. Specially abhijeet sir's character was portrayed with such perfection that i always wish to read more and more from you.

 


Thank you for reading the story Big smile
Its great to know that you read my previous stories also. Big smile
'Mystery of Serial Blast' is very special to me also. Big smile Abhijeet is my favorite character in cid. Embarrassed

"exaggerated bond" - I do not feel bad to see this comment...actually i think we have to feel their bond starting from 1998-till date...we cant consider 1 episode or 1 series for this rather journey of 17 years. May be you are right. I just wrote what i understood their relation. I can be wrong also. Embarrassed

I explained in other post about Varun's plan as everyone asked it.

Shy expression of Aditya sir...I cant say now by proper scene or pics but there are only few...not much. One probably last scene of flashback...where he gave one of bestest smile. Embarrassed


debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 3:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by visrom

Finished reading Deba. I don't get one thing. Did you write this as part of contest and then divert from the plot or did you start writing this as your own story from the beginning? LOL This is nowhere near the plot.

I read rules-plot of the story long time back when Sri posted it. I promised Sri to take part in it. In the meantime, i did lots of things here...then u know few things happened in my personal life...and somehow i forget about the plot & just remember 2 points - No murder & add ex-officers.


Ok coming to the story, this is a more advanced version of AC with full of Santosh flavour. But no yspt/OTT.

FW can learn from this story how to add dramas without OTT/YSPT LOL Wink


The scenes and dialogues were nice, but the overall picture is a bit unclear. For eg the vehicle in which the forensic doctors arrived was punctured. But why did they get into a random vehicle standing there?

Main problem of this story is that i didn't read it after writing so i could not realize these points. Now point is why they didn't use random vehicle, becoz 8-9 persons cant go together in random vehicle...isn't it? So they hire Qualis for this outing.

Sudhakar's entry was sudden and uneventful. I wish you had written a scene showing a hi hello between him and Freddie. Tongue

Frankly speaking i want write something on Freddy-Sudhakar & Freddy-Vivek but as I was writing it for contest, was thinking about page limit LOL Agar pehele pata hota blunder ke baare mein to aur thoda detail mein likhti LOL

Viren-Abhijeet meeting was lovely...I wish... wish I could see this. Day Dreaming

I enjoyed a lot while writing this scene. Big smile

Rajeev...LOL I have no problem with this. Cant help it if FW makes blunders. I can imagine a son of acp who doesn't keep in touch with him. So this is fine, but again a criminal? This is sad...ACP has 2 sons and both are on the wrong side of law. ? Unhappy

Are...is liye to end mein achha kar diya...galat fyami vi dur kar diya...jo FW nehin kar paya LOLLOL

Now the 17th bday of cid...I feel it shouldn't be mentioned in an episode...cid existed long before cid show. Maybe you could have named it something else. LOL

Yeahh...LOL i was too much exhausted writing whole day, i just wanted to end it. Kuch aur dimaag mein aaya hi nehin LOLLOL



Thank you vis reading it Big smileBig smile


Edited by debasree04 - 23 February 2014 at 3:40am
dreamfanatic IF-Dazzler
dreamfanatic
dreamfanatic

Joined: 30 January 2014
Posts: 4674

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 4:33am | IP Logged
Originally posted by debasree04



Thank you for reading the story Big smile
Its great to know that you read my previous stories also. Big smile
'Mystery of Serial Blast' is very special to me also. Big smile Abhijeet is my favorite character in cid. Embarrassed

"exaggerated bond" - I do not feel bad to see this comment...actually i think we have to feel their bond starting from 1998-till date...we cant consider 1 episode or 1 series for this rather journey of 17 years. May be you are right. I just wrote what i understood their relation. I can be wrong also. Embarrassed

I explained in other post about Varun's plan as everyone asked it.

Shy expression of Aditya sir...I cant say now by proper scene or pics but there are only few...not much. One probably last scene of flashback...where he gave one of bestest smile. Embarrassed



@Bold...MINE TOOEmbarrassedBlushing

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debasree04

..optimist.. IF-Sizzlerz
..optimist..
..optimist..

Joined: 02 November 2012
Posts: 15837

Posted: 24 February 2014 at 3:04am | IP Logged
Will read soon Deba Smile

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debasree04

suhani.cipamisa IF-Sizzlerz
suhani.cipamisa
suhani.cipamisa

Joined: 12 April 2009
Posts: 10246

Posted: 24 February 2014 at 3:17am | IP Logged
Wow deba! Welcome to cid writers group!! Dont remember reading any story from u! I have begun the story ... Will take time to read and i wl fonish and review! :)

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debasree04

visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 30682

Posted: 24 February 2014 at 3:42am | IP Logged
She has written many stories Suhani. Even in the duo kidnap story contest which you conducted she had written a story.

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debasree04

suhani.cipamisa IF-Sizzlerz
suhani.cipamisa
suhani.cipamisa

Joined: 12 April 2009
Posts: 10246

Posted: 24 February 2014 at 3:54am | IP Logged
ooops!!!!! Shocked sorry Deba!!!Embarrassed so busy theze days that my memory is going bad and rusty!!!!! will read ure story for sure!!Big smile
thanks Vizzy! Embarrassed

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debasree04

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 24 February 2014 at 6:52am | IP Logged
Originally posted by neha_dna

Will read soon Deba Smile

No problem Neha...take your time Big smile

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