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My Stories/OS/VMs (Page 84)

Sonali. IF-Dazzler
Sonali.
Sonali.

Joined: 20 April 2013
Posts: 4208

Posted: 22 February 2014 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
7 dinon ka khel bahut hi manoranjak tha... It was really nice to see all the officers back... I wish to see Viren and Abhijeet in one frame... Alas aisa kabhi hoga nahi... 
The plot was innovative have no idea about the original plot... The use of FW Memory Loss just wonderful... The target and names were equally good... The story had touch like those of golden era writers... Especially cases of 2004-05... Nice story thanks for posting

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debasree04

Metis Moderator
Metis
Metis

Joined: 30 November 2010
Posts: 123147

Posted: 22 February 2014 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
Okay so I read this story when you PMed it to me and I totally agree with Snehal and you. This was quite away from the plot but that's okay. It was awesome nonetheless.

I like how you brought so many of the ex-officers back! The idea of giving DCP a surprise was hilarious. LOL The FW memory loss usage was cool. Wink

A cool plot and the investigation was quite interesting.

I don't think I've ever read a story by you before this. This was amazing!

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debasree04

dreamfanatic IF-Dazzler
dreamfanatic
dreamfanatic

Joined: 30 January 2014
Posts: 4674

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 1:53am | IP Logged
It was a very nice story, i really loved it.
The first scene of abhijeet and daya was very good, and then that car scene was nice too.
I liked the bond you showed between the TRIO here but somehow i felt it was a bit over exaggerated please don't feel bad see somethings are better left unsaid. 
Like when abhijeet was shot while saving Acp sir, and acp sir had asked him "tumne aisa kyun kiya kuch ho jata toh" at that time it would have been good if abhijeet sir would have delivered a simple dialogue rather than that dialogue. But that is my personal opinion. Sorry if you felt bad.
The plot of the story was very nice although i failed to note the true reason why varun actually did that all. Dcp sir giving party to everyone was very nice to see.
It was really nice to read about viren and abhijeet sir being in the same scene, and abhijeet sir's embarrassment was very goodEmbarrassed. I always love that shy expression of ADi sir although it's not seen in cid. 

I would like to mention at last that i have read your both previous stories and they were both simply awesome but my personal favorite from all your works is MYSTERY OF SERIAL BLASTS...
It was a really nice story, with a very nice plot, good investigation, perfect dialogues, and perfect portrayal of team's emotions and ABHIJEET'S character. Specially abhijeet sir's character was portrayed with such perfection that i always wish to read more and more from you.

 

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debasree04

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 2:51am | IP Logged
I m explaining something for all -

When i was writing 2 points in my mind - NO MURDER & EX-OFFICERS LOL as i was writing for contest LOL

So there should be no murder...Varun didn't want to kill anyone rather to feel ACP Pradyuman that when dear ones becomes in danger or get news of their death, how we feel. I tried to explain it through Rajeev but could not do it properly. And most importantly i didn't check it after writing so didn't realize it.

Now you can ask - then why Varun at last tried to kill ACP, everything cant be preplanned  rather we do something spontaneously acc to situation or emotion.


debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 2:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -SNEHAL-

LOL This is wayyy to away from the plot of the contest Deba LOL
But, but, but the idea is brilliant. I liked the DCP giving surprise to all part. And using the name changing syndrome of FW is very unique idea. Totally liked it. About the plot i didn't get what actually varun wanted to show with false alarms. IF he wanted to take badla why he didn't wounded or tried to kill any of the team except trio? I felt story lost a bit of grip over there. 

But then this query came at the end and not while reading the story. So enjoyed it fully. Clap

I explained in separate post about that part as everyone asked same LOL

Thank you yaar...u read it so fast...Big smile

About DCP LOL haan yaar i want to put so many officers but could not understand how LOLLOL so used DCP Tongue

About Red part - haan yaar If they convert Rajeev to Nakul, what can i say about them...FW ka jawab nehin !!!



Edited by debasree04 - 24 February 2014 at 6:50am

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-SNEHAL-

debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 2:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Sonali.

7 dinon ka khel bahut hi manoranjak tha... It was really nice to see all the officers back... I wish to see Viren and Abhijeet in one frame... Alas aisa kabhi hoga nahi... 
The plot was innovative have no idea about the original plot... The use of FW Memory Loss just wonderful... The target and names were equally good... The story had touch like those of golden era writers... Especially cases of 2004-05... Nice story thanks for posting


Thanx a lot Sonali...Big smile
So fast read it Big smile

Yeah even i wish to see Abhijeet & Viren in one frame but yeah it never be possible Ouch
debasree04 IF-Sizzlerz
debasree04
debasree04

Joined: 13 August 2010
Posts: 19981

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 3:02am | IP Logged
Originally posted by KhotaSikaShreya

Okay so I read this story when you PMed it to me and I totally agree with Snehal and you. This was quite away from the plot but that's okay. It was awesome nonetheless.

I like how you brought so many of the ex-officers back! The idea of giving DCP a surprise was hilarious. LOL The FW memory loss usage was cool. Wink

A cool plot and the investigation was quite interesting.

I don't think I've ever read a story by you before this. This was amazing!


Thanx Sri Big smile I wrote it only for u as i promised u but plot mein dhoka kha gayi Embarrassed

Mere dimaag mein sirf 2 baat thi - No murder & ex-officers...I want to put so many officers but dnt understand how to add so use DCP...LOL last minute mein party ka idea aaya LOLLOL

Ohh...this is first time u read my story but i think previously u read contest story Confused
visrom IF-Stunnerz
visrom
visrom

Joined: 26 November 2009
Posts: 30690

Posted: 23 February 2014 at 3:06am | IP Logged
Finished reading Deba. I don't get one thing. Did you write this as part of contest and then divert from the plot or did you start writing this as your own story from the beginning? LOL This is nowhere near the plot.

Ok coming to the story, this is a more advanced version of AC with full of Santosh flavour. But no yspt/OTT.

The scenes and dialogues were nice, but the overall picture is a bit unclear. For eg the vehicle in which the forensic doctors arrived was punctured. But why did they get into a random vehicle standing there?

Sudhakar's entry was sudden and uneventful. I wish you had written a scene showing a hi hello between him and Freddie. Tongue


Viren-Abhijeet meeting was lovely...I wish... wish I could see this. Day Dreaming

Rajeev...LOL I have no problem with this. Cant help it if FW makes blunders. I can imagine a son of acp who doesn't keep in touch with him. So this is fine, but again a criminal? This is sad...ACP has 2 sons and both are on the wrong side of law. ? Unhappy

Now the 17th bday of cid...I feel it shouldn't be mentioned in an episode...cid existed long before cid show. Maybe you could have named it something else. LOL


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debasree04

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