FF: New York times with Maan&Geet Thread 4 09/13 - Page 65

Wow, Dev is gay. I need to read the last few chapters again. My brain's working in overtime. Will edit later...

Originally posted by: 6thElement

This brings out insecurities of a woman rather then just infidelities.  - The infidelity brings about insecurities, doesn't matter with whom the spouse had an affair with. Geet will feel inadequate no matter what. However chances of redeeming herself from feelings of low esteem in this scenario is a tad bit easier, given the fact, that it was pure letdown on his part and it had nothing to do with her inability to give the gratification needed (The bugger didn't turn gay overnight because she was not good enough) His loyalties didn't just lie elsewhere, but with a whole another genre of a partner by itself, men to be specific.
 
There is no denying that she has more stuff to deal with than what she originally had. This is no closure in one update...but rather beginning to reach for it. Per se - Intrinsic, does not mean complete.

It does matter whom the affair or the infidelities is concurred with, specially the sex of the partner! As per survey of divorced couples, of which 99% of the people who go through marriage counseling, will tell you that such impact are harder to deal with then just having an affair with the opposite sex. Geet must ask Dev..'why wasn't I (as a women) enough, that you had to go find a man'! I must say that I still believe in the archaic (Per Se: by itself) of all relationships.

Edited by night13 - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: -pixie-

^^H: I also felt making him gay was too safe and cliched...I mean I can understand societal pressures in India but Dev was living in Toronto??? So why did he get married? We havent heard anything about his family and so its hard to put it down to familial pressures either.

How about he was so involved with whoever it is that he couldnt be with another person? His reasons for getting married may have been whatever!! (Maybe she was married and Geet was a decoy?). I dont know...its a bit strange that Geet would not have noticed Dev's strange (to her and what she would have expected from a husband, coming as she was from HP) behaviour in 5 years... 

However, this is your creation and you are free to take it in any which direction as you see fit, I respect that! So Gay it is!😆

Ok...wrote up a whole lot and lost it. 😡

Alright. Dev and Geet stayed with his Mom (Part 60 Genesis) But I do agree that I had not gotten to the back story and stressed about the part why he did what he did. I felt that would draw focus from our leads, but I guess that was needed too.

As for having another angle to Dev's betrayal, In my mind, I couldn't have him involved with another woman. Didn't matter about since when he got involved with the affair, because, in case he married Geet first and found another woman later, then the part he didn't make anything out of their wedlock cannot be explained.
Or in the vice versa situation, if he was involved with someone even before their marriage, then why get married in the first place. The desperation to  get married to her would not have risen in the first place.
The wedding was more out of a necessity to keep his identity (which I agree should have been highlighted)

As for Geet being clueless...Dev had a clear facade going there with flirting up other women, which did not rise doubts in other men's minds. And for the latter part of their marriage, she was mostly away or he was traveling (Part 60 Genesis).

I can only hope there will be some justice in writing out Geet's state of mind in the next few updates. Thanks for stopping by.
Hasini

Originally posted by: night13

It does matter whom the affair or the infidelities is concurred with, specially the sex of the partner! As per survey of divorced couples, of which 99% of the people who go through marriage counseling, will tell you that such impact are harder to deal with then just having an affair with the opposite sex. Geet must ask Dev..'why wasn't I (as a women) enough, that you had to go find a man'! I must say that I still believe in the archaic (Per Se: by itself) of all relationships.

Yes I agree with the stats that you are quoting, but 99% of couples going through a divorce resulting from which kind of an affair?
This is only applicable to the case, when the spouse assorts to an external party after they deem their marital relationship is doomed or does not feel sated with the emotional and sexual gratification after even trying to make something out  of it.
This is a case where its a sense of betrayal. This does not call Geet's inabilities to provide a happy married life to Dev into question. Well she will be smart girl, if only she can latch onto that difference.

How can Geet ask a man who has always been a closet Gay? That, "Hey I understand you always preferred the opposite sex, but now that we are married, can you try rewiring your psyche?" If only this was even possible, then she could even validate the feelings of insecurity. Else everything is lost on the argument above. (Ok...you made me write the argument from Maan there! )

As for your Per se statement. I dont get it at all Aarya. Please clarify.

Hasini
Edited by 6thElement - 12 years ago

hey i thought was right dev is indeed gay!

Read a couple of comments here and there and realised that Dev's sexuality has become a bone of contention here!

Well, I agree with Hasini's stance. For starters, Dev was an Indian and that fact stays-you can't really taje out the societal pressures from an Indian even if he moves to some place outside India. Well, thats how I think it is based on looking at my extended family who lives outside India though I have no empirical evidence to support my claim, and also, i guess that somewhere Dev's Mom was mentioned too, so, if I am not wrong, family pressure held too!

 

Moreover, though the other countries are liberal about sexuality several times over as compared to India, the truth of the matter is that they are still not liberal enough to make people from countries like India be comfortable coming out of the closet, particularly because despite not living in India, most Indians maintain primarily Indian circles and hence, the same connect!

 

As I would like to guess, the pressure in such cases to gain is immense...the pressure of being left alone-that is to be socially acceptable(in most cases by getting married like a usual guy would), and I think he did the same. His attempt  to wash his hands off any social stigma did turn out to be horribly bad for Geet and to some extent for Naini, and there is no denying this fact.

 

I am completely satisfied with the closure provided!

 

Love

Swati

Originally posted by: -shabnoor-

Just ended up reading NY times Per Se part 3... and ermm I'm at loss of words !

Why so you may feel...well part of it is due to the blow that I received of Dev being a gay...alright I do not have a problem if that guy is a gay..but what irked me was how the hell could he cheat on an innocent 18 year old girl ?? So much so that she felt that it was due to her that the relationship soared...see I like Dev I really do for certain things coz despite that fact, he let her study let her work and you know be an independent woman...if he really really wanted to cheat her and keep her blinded he would never have done so, but yes he did commit that one mistake and that's unforgivable at this moment...maybe with time Geet maybe do so and make herself understand that it happens, many woman out there aren't even that lucky enough so somewhere she's free and with Maan...but then again the fact that made Geet queasy was that maybe he spent his time with other women and now she comes to know they were men, so she'll have to you know I mean she can't block it...but at least maybe some years down the lane she might forgive him...because in all this drama one thing that's been good is her meeting Maan nahi toh u never know what would have happened isn't it ?? I even know not every girl is lucky and that she meets someone else, but then there are so many cases so many damn reasons you just can't go on playing the blame game you need to understand things and let go after a time...and then again there is something called as destiny, no matter how advanced we are...tech or thinking there is another force that guides you and does thing...you just can't blame that or question it all the time...time and circumstances matter, and they're different for every individual! You just can't fit into everyone's shoes can you ?? So personally I'm really not annoyed at the way you took things forward...I don't have a slight idea what others might feel..would love to hear their views too!

I really liked the way you, you took up Dev as you said... infidelity is  just not the case wherein a lady feels cheated there are so many more to add...and this is one of them!

Also loved the way Maan handled each and everything, he is a strong man though very emotional you getting what I mean right...I know its a contradicting yet! 

All in all...it was good one and what I feel is episodes in life have closures not emotions, you can never really shut them down but yes they don't affect you anymore is what I can hope of what you might be meaning! 

Guess its too much that I said...dunno what you feel about it, but as a reader this is what I wished to convey to you ! :)

Take Care.

Thanks Fatima. There is a back story for Dev. This was only meant to be argued from Maan's point, but not to the full extent thought. I still have no intention to do that.

Maan being in her life is an alternate universe I have to say. Not that she wouldn't have come out of it, but how and when is another story and that is not NY times you see.

Thanks...Maan is emotional. He just hides in plain view behind those layers.

I totally agree with you on the fact that its only a closure to the details of the story, but closure to the array of emotions is a lifelong struggle. We all share something that we carry to the grave unresolved, perhaps this will be one for Geet. But does this mean the journey to the end be colored permanently...I don't think so. We all have a phoenix inside us, that goes up in flames after some time and attempts its hand to live a new life.

Thanks for stopping by.
Hasini

Originally posted by: princess163

Read a couple of comments here and there and realised that Dev's sexuality has become a bone of contention here!

Well, I agree with Hasini's stance. For starters, Dev was an Indian and that fact stays-you can't really taje out the societal pressures from an Indian even if he moves to some place outside India. Well, thats how I think it is based on looking at my extended family who lives outside India though I have no empirical evidence to support my claim, and also, i guess that somewhere Dev's Mom was mentioned too, so, if I am not wrong, family pressure held too!

 

Moreover, though the other countries are liberal about sexuality several times over as compared to India, the truth of the matter is that they are still not liberal enough to make people from countries like India be comfortable coming out of the closet, particularly because despite not living in India, most Indians maintain primarily Indian circles and hence, the same connect!

 

As I would like to guess, the pressure in such cases to gain is immense...the pressure of being left alone-that is to be socially acceptable(in most cases by getting married like a usual guy would), and I think he did the same. His attempt  to wash his hands off any social stigma did turn out to be horribly bad for Geet and to some extent for Naini, and there is no denying this fact.

 

I am completely satisfied with the closure provided!

 

Love

Swati

I can't appreciate enough of you taking time to write 5 posts so far. Thanks for that Swati. Giving into social pressures is one thing for sure and need to conform has greatly battered the emotional setting of Geet.
There is so much to this, that I will not be able to write it all for Dev when my leads are M&G. Although there is still no closure to Geet is the point I have been driving home. Of course with future updates we will reach some point, but necessarily a full one, given that it cannot be achieved with the lifetime I'm writing for Geet (which is hardly a few more months)

Thanks for stopping by Swati,
Hasini

Originally posted by: 6thElement

Yes I agree with the stats that you are quoting, but 99% of couples going through a divorce resulting from which kind of an affair?
This is only applicable to the case, when the spouse assorts to an external party after they deem their marital relationship is doomed or does not feel sated with the emotional and sexual gratification after even trying to make something out  of it.
This is a case where its a sense of betrayal. This does not call Geet's inabilities to provide a happy married life to Dev into question. Well she will be smart girl, if only she can latch onto that difference.

How can Geet ask a man who has always been a closet Gay? That, "Hey I understand you always preferred the opposite sex, but now that we are married, can you try rewiring your psyche?" If only this was even possible, then she could even validate the feelings of insecurity. Else everything is lost on the argument above. (Ok...you made me write the argument from Maan there! )

As for your Per se statement. I dont get it at all Aarya. Please clarify.

Hasini

The two points which I failed to make you understand..
-- There is a difference between infidelities vs man or woman of the opposite sex
-- The much needed closure in Geet's character is now another open end question.

The NYT started with story of Geet and I assume you will end with her character getting the justice, closure which is needed.


ps.. archaic meaning classic.. man & women!:)



Edited by night13 - 12 years ago

Originally posted by: 6thElement

I can't appreciate enough of you taking time to write 5 posts so far. Thanks for that Swati. Giving into social pressures is one thing for sure and need to conform has greatly battered the emotional setting of Geet.
There is so much to this, that I will not be able to write it all for Dev when my leads are M&G. Although there is still no closure to Geet is the point I have been driving home. Of course with future updates we will reach some point, but necessarily a full one, given that it cannot be achieved with the lifetime I'm writing for Geet (which is hardly a few more months)

Thanks for stopping by Swati,
Hasini