Mein ab nahi roungi...

Yesterday, when Gopi is talking to herself in the kitchen, I felt really bad for her. Her words that she won't cry, that me crying upsets maji, and that she will be strong. And then later in front of the mirror holding the sindoor nani gave, she says she won't lose. For the first time I felt that Gopi was indeed really strong. Think about it, here we all are screaming on the top of our lungs, wanting her to leave, to stop taking the abuse, to have self-respect. But in reality, to stay quite is the hardest thing anyone can do. I know that its Gopi's personality to not say whats in her mind, but any person will eventually lose it. Especially after all that has happened to Gopi, she still continues to lift her head high and fulfill her bahu and patni dharam. It also reminded me of my grandmother-in-law said. We were at her place and it was time for SNS to start. So she tells my husband to turn on her kokila...😆...I was surprised and asked her you watch it too? She is like yes and said that its very interesting to watch Gopi, even after all she hears from her MIL and husband she still obeys, while today's girls would have left. At a point, it is correct to leave. But, if you think about it, its also brave to stay and solve the problem. Gopi doesn't probably have it as bad as many other girls. She has her MIL on her side now, the whole family in that matter. She just has to wins Ahem's heart like she won Koki's heart. So, I just wanted to bring out the other side of Gopi, that even in her simplicity she is very strong mentally. It takes a lot for someone to stay where they are not wanted, to continue to respect when all the get is disrespect, to listen when no one else listens to her.

Originally posted by: taral83

Yesterday, when Gopi is talking to herself in the kitchen, I felt really bad for her. Her words that she won't cry, that me crying upsets maji, and that she will be strong. And then later in front of the mirror holding the sindoor nani gave, she says she won't lose. For the first time I felt that Gopi was indeed really strong. Think about it, here we all are screaming on the top of our lungs, wanting her to leave, to stop taking the abuse, to have self-respect. But in reality, to stay quite is the hardest thing anyone can do. I know that its Gopi's personality to not say whats in her mind, but any person will eventually lose it. Especially after all that has happened to Gopi, she still continues to lift her head high and fulfill her bahu and patni dharam. It also reminded me of my grandmother-in-law said. We were at her place and it was time for SNS to start. So she tells my husband to turn on her kokila...😆...I was surprised and asked her you watch it too? She is like yes and said that its very interesting to watch Gopi, even after all she hears from her MIL and husband she still obeys, while today's girls would have left. At a point, it is correct to leave. But, if you think about it, its also brave to stay and solve the problem. Gopi doesn't probably have it as bad as many other girls. She has her MIL on her side now, the whole family in that matter. She just has to wins Ahem's heart like she won Koki's heart. So, I just wanted to bring out the other side of Gopi, that even in her simplicity she is very strong mentally. It takes a lot for someone to stay where they are not wanted, to continue to respect when all the get is disrespect, to listen when no one else listens to her.

Tara  i agree we want her to leave but why should she leave has she done anything wrong her way of thinking is  a traditional way  if aham n gopi didnt even see each other she would have still loved him from day one her fight has just begun i am sure she will succeed when n if  thats a different matter ,kokila is now becoming her strength n she is helping her

@taral...
lovely thought and m happy that u are still with the same viewpoint abt Gopi being in MM, not leaving just coz she has to...

she is indeed Strongest more than anyone else as Being silent is never the sign of being a Coward its a sign of intelligence as "leaving words unsaid at the most tempting moment" always keep u away from unwanted fights...and as we discussed during earlier days of SNS in family u have to be silent for the Sake of Family and to keep it intact.

secong thing...Gopi is not a Leaver...she is a Fighter...
till now she has just fought but in a different way...not by shouting or accusing or snatching anything...she has fought by giving and sacrificing...for which is her character is known.

here also she is not trying to force Aham to give her love for which she is eligible but by giving Aham all her affection and concern she is just proving herself on the higher side than Aham as she is Giving but not Expecting anything in return.

Hope I am able to conveyed what i  think abt Gopi and her Silent Fight.

Ek Dhum Chup...🤣 Sorry wrong thread...lol, but yes agree with you Gopi shouldn't leave now, only because she has stuck it out during the worst part, the rest now with Kokila, Chirag and Hetal on her side, he can't push her out of his house, if he wants to leave he should bite the bullet and go...that is if what he has been blustering about hating her is true. 

Originally posted by: -tellyaddict-

@taral...
lovely thought and m happy that u are still with the same viewpoint abt Gopi being in MM, not leaving just coz she has to...

she is indeed Strongest more than anyone else as Being silent is never the sign of being a Coward its a sign of intelligence as "leaving words unsaid at the most tempting moment" always keep u away from unwanted fights...and as we discussed during earlier days of SNS in family u have to be silent for the Sake of Family and to keep it intact.

secong thing...Gopi is not a Leaver...she is a Fighter...
till now she has just fought but in a different way...not by shouting or accusing or snatching anything...she has fought by giving and sacrificing...for which is her character is known.

here also she is not trying to force Aham to give her love for which she is eligible but by giving Aham all her affection and concern she is just proving herself on the higher side than Aham as she is Giving but not Expecting anything in return.

Hope I am able to conveyed what i  think abt Gopi and her Silent Fight.

Exactly, she is indeed strongest then anyone. In fact, she is stronger the Koki. Koki says how she feels straight to someone's face, even her husband, only making her the bad guy. Also, creating animosity that shouldn't be there. As they say, there is a time and place for everything.  I think Gopi will speak up one day, not in her defense but for the happiness of Ahem. In fact she already did when she packed up her bags to leave the first time. Her silence is her strength and her simplicity is her support...

Originally posted by: taral83

Exactly, she is indeed strongest then anyone. In fact, she is stronger the Koki. Koki says how she feels straight to someone's face, even her husband, only making her the bad guy. Also, creating animosity that shouldn't be there. As they say, there is a time and place for everything.  I think Gopi will speak up one day, not in her defense but for the happiness of Ahem. In fact she already did when she packed up her bags to leave the first time. Her silence is her strength and her simplicity is her support...

yup...she does not need to show any one else wrong whether its Aham or Koki to prove herself Right...as she is "Right" in almost everything she does...
she needs not to say bad to others to prove that she "Can Speak"
as there is a saying in hindi that...
Kisi Lakeer Ko Chhota Saabit Karne Ke Liye Use Mitane ke Bajaye uske Saamne Ek Badi Lakeer Khhinch Do..
means instead of making someone else feel wrong by saying words against him one should just enhance their positive side n it will prove they are Right.


@bold...bang on target...yes Silence is Her Strength and one day Aham will be Defeated with her Silence only...
Simplicity...again its Easy To do Show Off to impress others but Very Difficult to Be Simple and impress others and Gopi has done the later every time till now and m sure soon Aham will be in her kitty...

Originally posted by: -tellyaddict-

yup...she does not need to show any one else wrong whether its Aham or Koki to prove herself Right...as she is "Right" in almost everything she does...
she needs not to say bad to others to prove that she "Can Speak"
as there is a saying in hindi that...
Kisi Lakeer Ko Chhota Saabit Karne Ke Liye Use Mitane ke Bajaye uske Saamne Ek Badi Lakeer Khhinch Do..
means instead of making someone else feel wrong by saying words against him one should just enhance their positive side n it will prove they are Right.


@bold...bang on target...yes Silence is Her Strength and one day Aham will be Defeated with her Silence only...
Simplicity...again its Easy To do Show Off to impress others but Very Difficult to Be Simple and impress others and Gopi has done the later every time till now and m sure soon Aham will be in her kitty...

@Taral and Sadhli,

See your point completely.  Gopi has her quiet strength however, we have seen her stand up for things she believe are wrong. 

- she defended and supported Kinjal during the wedding fiasco.  She stood infront of her to prevent Aham for hitting herl.

- during one of the festivals she stayed up all night so that the light wouldn't go out.  Even though she was barred from the temple

- she refused to lie to Aham even when Koki asked her to.

She definitely has her beliefs and stands by them.  She may not say anything or defend herself...she has her own brand of silent strength.

God forgive me... For when I reply to this post... People shall dislike me...

I love the sentiments stated on this thread... Sugar and spice and evrything nice...I always wish that I had been created thus... Alas, I am the ultimate cynic and critic...

Gandhiji had stated something about Zulm karna and Zulm sehna... Both being paap... And I always thougt Marriage was principally between the man and woman...

You are making all these points simply because you have the supreme knowledge that this serial ia about Ahem and Gopi's love story... You are justifying the means because you know the end...

There are so many words in our culture beginning with SWA meaning self... eg. Swamaan, Swabhimaan... How can strength come from constant insults and rejection, defeats me...

I apologise to all those who I am contradicting... But, how a whiny and constantly crying Gopi, appears strong to you... Is beyong my understanding... I m no feminist... And am a complete believer of the Indian culture and beliefs... However, this whole premise smacks of abuse to me... Abuse of wealth/power/relationship- by Koki - to get a gareeb and unpadh and totally unfit girl ... Abuse of power/relationship by Urmila and Rashi towards Gopi... Abuse of relationships- by Kinjal/Rashi... Toward their spouses...

Gopi in this serial is like a lab-rat specimen...

Women must be seen but not heard... Covering the heads to show respect and obedience...women are     just a
vessel and means for propagating the human race...Women must bear all kinds of
unhappiness and insults and accusations, to be the ideal bahu...having no value... There is a Gujarati saying... Dikri ne Gaai... Dore tyaan jaye ... Which means that a daughter and a cow are both similar, in that they will go wherever they are led by the rope around their neck... Without complaining and without a word...

We need to understand that such thoughts were perfectly fine in the olden days... But with time, and education... These thinkings must change... This kind of thinking led to abuse of women by their in-laws and also led to female infanticide...

A human must always respect the dignity of another human... It separates us from animals... Rejoicing in Gopi's pitiable condition and her take-all abuse silently attitude as strength... Is a regressive kind of thinking...

Today the Modi's are with her... Eventually, if Ahem is adamant... They will give some money and kick her out... Kokila will need a waaris... Ahem is a man with normal basic needs... He will ultimately have a girlfriend/keep on the side... In real life... A situation like Gopi is terrible... Any male relative who knows the truth eg. Parag or any cousin/ uncle/ driver/neighbour etc... Will try to make advances on Gopi and take advantage of her...support from family members cannot ever make up or account for a marriage...

If you ask me... Gopi woud have been happy if she had gotten married to a doodhwala or bhaajiwala or a guy like Dhawal...

Here she is only a bechaari unpadh toward whom all the Modi's grant sad and sorry and encouraging smiles (like the ones a person gives a handicap trying valiantly to be self reliant)...ultimately they also want someone like Rashi... Koki's mother also chose Rashi over Gopi... We all know that Rashi's marriage is no better than Gopi's... Man-woman relationship does not exist... Gopi did so much sewa and bhajan and aarti and maaji-maaji... But in the end, even Koki's mother sided Rashi... At some point everyone will leave Gopi...

Dayaa nu paatra... Pitiable figures don't fare well in life... That's my humble opinion... Gopi's weakness is her weakness... Can't glorify it for strength...Edited by malinn - 12 years ago

Hi Sonal,

It's close to midnight and I need to go to bed.  Will read your entire post in the morning properly and try to reply again.  Your opinion is always wonderful and your knowledge of the culture excellent. 

I don't think anyone is saying , at least I hope they are not, that it is right the way the Modis and Mami's families have treated her or that it is right  to always take the abuse.  What I was trying to say is that sometimes these types of women have their own brand of quiet strength and when the issue is the one that pushes their buttons they will fight back. 

For example when Koki wanted to abort the non-existent baby Gopi spoke up and said that she felt it was wrong. 

In the romantic, happily ever after world I don't want Gopi to change.  I want Aham to fall for her the way she is and if she wants an education or to change herself then it should be her choice.

But in the real world no one should have to put up with what Gopi has to so far.  If I met her my advice to her would be to leave the Modi house as soon as possible.  She needs to find a good divorce lawyer who will negotiate an excellent settlement for her so that she never has to go back to the Shah household and can live independently,  peacefully and do whatever she wants with her life.  Maybe
 hire someone to slap aorund Aham for her.