@SOCHA NA THA@ MG ff-ch 14, pg 54, 16th may - Page 29

From here starts the real story, twists and turns and from now onwards u shall read both maan's and geet's POV. I am still not sure if I should write abt maan's POV here but then I thought, the story would be better understood if it's included and this the right time for it'.

Chapter 13

with you i shall wither away
or with you i shall never be the same
the choice to be, lies in my sole hands
but yet itseems i have no control over the same... 

I wonder what she's always thinking. It makes me think why she behaves so hopelessly helpless sometimes. And the fact that she fears me instills my heart with a deep agony. I crave for her longingly. I yearn to be in her arms if not away. Is it too much to ask? Is it true that she hates me so much that there is no chance for her to see my feelings for her? If only she knew that we were always born to be one, to be together! If only she knew the truth behind my actions'..

"No", my mind screamed in anxiety. "she should not know the truth until it's time", I thought as she walked away from me. I knew deep down she wouldn't attend her classes simply because I knew her too well. It was almost like I knew her every move now. I knew she would goto central park but she had to lie since she needs to find solace away from me. When will she understand that she can find solace only with me? Her always disturbed mind never allows her to think straight. Such is her state and I'm standing here feeling helpless, devoid of my heart which now beats only for her.

I wanted to call out to her but I thought I should leave her alone today. She's better figuring out things herself than taking my help. I'll only ruin her more like she ruins me every moment of my life. If only this feeling would suffice but no, I need her like a drug I am addicted to. Will she ever understand me? I doubt it though, well that's just temporary. I know that day is not too far when you will understand me geet, for all my actions, if not more.

"Damn you Maan, u r supposed to be at the airport right now", I scolded myself as I looked at the watch. If I dint reach in time, world war 3 would come up anytime soon and that I cannot let it happen. I chuckled imagining the consequences of my late comings. I sat in my car and drove towards the new york airport.

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Why the hell am I not able to think anything else but maan??? Is it not enough that he troubles me all thru the day in the office??? And today, well should i give explanations about it all??? What I dint want, happened!!! No surprise there, as expected but for once I had thought I'll be relieved of this atleast for some time but no, as always everything has to go against me. I reached central park. God, what a relief I feel when I am here.

The light breeze reminds me of dad always. Many times when I look back thru my past all I see is his face, when he was on the death bed. I still cant remember what had happened at that time that the things had to turn out this way. I hardly have my childhood memories. No matter how hard I try, I just cant make my brain remember the past except for some vague ones which of course hold no meaning to me.

Now why the hell am I thinking abt that? I came here to find peace to my heart, soul and my mind, but it seems like I am never successful. Even though I tend to try again and again, it's always disturbed and these tears flowing down my eyes just don't seem to show mercy on me. I have been like this forever I guess and I don't know why I have not able to come out of this delusion ad confusion.

Loneliness has always been close to me, ever since dad passed away. If only he hadn't left us, I wonder what life would have been. May be it would have been fine and probably jia wouldn't have been adopted. Such is the effect and turn of events. If one prevailed the other had no right to exist. At the end of the day I can just relieve myself that it was not in my hands then. But when I think of it, atleast now the things are in my hands, then why is that I am still not able to control my life??? I feel anger taking over me whenever that thought crosses my mind.

It was 8pm, it had been 2 hrs since I came here. I sighed heavily, wiped my tears off. I dint want mom to be in trouble coz of me. She's s great woman and I love her a lot. It was time to get back home now. After 20mins of slow walking I reached home only to notice, there was a change of atmosphere. My house was empty, as in nobody was there except the old crabby woman whom I despised. If only daadi was a good human being or so I thought, WHATEVER!!!

I looked here and there but none seem to be in the house, I went and looked in pari's house as well, the sisters were gone. Now that's fishy, where would everyone vanish off to? It then struck me, that there was one more place where I hadn't checked. Maan's home. The thought itself dried my throat. Encountering maan again would worsen my state of mind. I dint want that, so I decided to wait.

The clocked ticked 9pm but still no sign of my family. By every passing moment, I was growing more anxious and anger was seeping thru every nook and corner of my body. I couldn't take it anymore, how can someone be so irresposible? Isn't mom supposed to inform me? Aaargghhh!!! I gritted my teeth in anger and decided go check them out at maan's place. Iwalked to the barged out, leaving the door shut itself in a bang.

I stomped every foot on the ground to show my anger reflecting in every manner of my walk. I stood in front of the door on the porch and sighed to calm myself a bit. Then I knocked on the door. No response! What the hell??? Is everyone deaf or what??? I let out deep sigh and ringed the bell numerous times in haste and waited for the door to open, hoping to see the ver smiling Maan Singh Khurana attending the door with a broad smile, that irratated me to no ends. While I waited I could see everyone enjoying a hearty laugh in the hall from behind the window blinds. That irritated me even more. How can they all be happy and smiling without me???

I was looking down and cursing my fate. After 30 long seconds the door opened and without thinking, I started blabbering.

"don't give me 100 watt smile, who the hell do u think you are?", I said thinking it was maan who opened the door. When I looked up I was in for a surprise. It was not maan but this guy standing in front of me resemblem maan a little bit. I scrutinised him from top to bottom like a x-ray machine and came to the conclusion that he was jerk. He was wearing a funky ADIDAS jacket with knee length khakhi shorts and had that mischievous glint in his eyes. His hair totally dishelved. What was it? A bird's nest I wondered?

When I was done with my scanning I looked at him, he was smirking at me as if he knew I would study him very carefully.

"done scrutinysing me Ms. Geet Handa??", he asked in an all too formal way.

What??? How does he know my name??? wait a minute how the hell does he know that I am only Geet??? Who is this strange guy???

"what happened tigress??? Confused??? Dillusioned??? What is it that's bothering you???", he asked as if he knew me all to well.

"what?", I asked him irritated.

"are you deaf???", he asked leaning on the door ans crossing his arms across his chest and keeping his smirk intact. He was acting as if he was having fun.

"what the hell did u just say???", I asked him glaring.

"ah, it's sad that you are deaf", he sad nodding his head.

"who the hell are you???", I asked him closing the distance between us and looking into his eyes.

"mmm''wild wild wild!!! I like wild girls! Did you know it?", he asked me in flirtatious way and chuckled when I started blinking my eyes in confusion. He was still slaughing at me when his words sunk in. he was driving me insane. I took his collar in my hands and nearly threatened him through my eyes.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN", I said each word stressing on it and loud anough for him to hear. He just blinked.

"and for oyur kind information, I am not deaf, u better get that into your head", I left hi color and stepped back. It seemed that he had not expected such a reaction from me. Well who cares, the look on his face just satisfied me. He watched me for a moment and called out leaning backwards towards the hall,

"bhai, your tigress is here", he said.

This guy will not learn until I slap him or so I thought. But I waited still watching him, actually I was shooting silent glares at him. All he did was watch me in astonishment. Maan walked upto and patted the other guy's houlder and asked him what happened in sign language.

"you never told me that her blood is always boiling. How do you always handle her bhai???", he asked maan. My mouth opened seeing the guts of that guy complaining about me. What the heck!!! What's his problem??? My life, my wish. However I am why is he so concerned abt it???

"yash", maan warned him thru his eyes, "get inside, let me handle this". The other guy whose name I came to know as yash, shrugged, smirked towards me and left the place. After he left I was compelled to ask who that irritating human being was???

"who the hell is he?", I asked him folding my hands across my chest and glaring at maan.

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I heard yash call out to me and I turned towards my right to see yash, kripa and mom arrive out of the airport totally tired of the long journey. Yash was my younger brother and kripa our sweet little sister. Yash was 2 years younger to me, that makes him 23, and kripa was 20 now. I had been waiting for there arrival since I got here. It was all preplanned that I move here first, take a look out of the situation here and then the rest of the family would move here later. It was true that daadu was here to take care of the business but the motive behind my family moving here was something else.

"hey bro, what's up man?", I asked yash as we both hugged each other.

"you always love him more than me", kripa scoffed at us. We both burst out laughing and got into a group hug with her.

"aargh, you both are crushing me. Bhai, leave me plz'", she pleaded. Poor kripa, dint know how much we all loved her. We left her laughing at her state. While she was fighting with yash, I came to mom, bent down, touched her feet and took her blessings.

She just hugged me with tears running down her eyes. "I missed you so much maan", she said caressing my hair.

"stop crying mom", I smiled at her.

"do they know?", she asked me anxiously. I looked down for a while.

"only jenny does", I told her frankly. I couldn't lie to her. She was my only abode for all my problems.

"jenny?", she asked. I chuckled and corrected myself.

"sorry, Jennifer aunt", I smiled at her and mom smiled back.

We then boarded our car and left for home. Both kripa and yash were busy discussing abt the city, buildings, people etc while mom just stared blankly out of the window. Her anxiety was expected. After all we were here to set all the things right that had gone wrong in the past. I placed my hand on her knee and gave an assuring pat.

"everything will be fine mom, it just needs time"

She just nodded blankly. After reaching home, jenny, jia, ronith, pari and meera had come to meet my family. Mom was more than happy about the reunion afterall she has been waiting for this day since long. Yash and kripa had made new friends. We were all in a good mood and celebrating when the door bell rang. Yash got up to open the door. After 5 long minutes, he called out to me. When I went there I saw geet scoffing and glaring while yash looked a bit shocked.

"you never told me that her blood is always boiling. How do you always handle her bhai???", he asked me. I felt like laughing at his question. If only he knew geet better, he wouldn't say that.

"yash", I warned him thru my eyes, "get inside, let me handle this". He just shrugged and left with a "we gotta talk on this matter" look on his face. I turned to face geet who was now fuming. I like her when she's angry, she looks more and more beautiful to my eyes. If it wasn't for her, then it would not be anybody else. She meant the world to me but I wonder if she will ever know that.

"who the hell is he???", she asked me fuming with anger, ANGRY YOUNG WOMAN, i chuckled. She looked at me with a face that read "what's going on??"

Man, she's beautiful. I couldn't take it any longer; I came out, closed the door behind me and stood in front of her. She looked at me blinking her eyes. I was looking at her eyes. As always she couldn't take my gaze, she calmed sown in no time. She closed her eyes in desperation, still angry abt herself. I know, I affect her a lot, it's just that she's not ready to accept it. She stepped back from me, I chuckled at her lame efforts. I took a step closer to her. This continued, with our eyes still locked onto each other until she reached the edge of the step and she slipped.

My heart raced and I caught her by her waist just in time and pulled her up. For a moment there I thought she would be hurt. She's just always so clumsy. Thank god she's fine. She fell on my chest. Realizing the intimacy between us she lifted her head up. I had already lost control of my senses. Her touch drives me insane.

Each every time I come in contact with her, I loose myself. She ruins me like hell. I just cant let her stay away from me. If given a chance I would make sure she was by my side every moment but that day had to wait and I would wait in patience but right now I couldn't loose a good chance of kissing her. She was still in my arms and our eyes were still locked. She was looking at me with soft eyes. I bent down and kissed her and this time it dint surprise me that she responded for my kiss instantly. I very well knew she would, after all unknowingly she had started letting me be a part of her life. We kissed each other passionately. My hands were exploring her waist and back while her hands were busy messing with my hair. She tasted so sweet. We broke off when we grew short of breathe.

"you drive me insane maan, I hate you for that", there was pain in her voice and her eyes. She left without another word. I could see her helpless figure walk away from me and there was nothing I could do but wait for the right time. She had a lot of things that she had to know. "I LOVE YOU GEET AND I PROMISE YOU'LL BE FINE SOON", I promised myself and went inside to join the rest of them feeling a little low.