Posted: 17 March 2011 at 10:36am | IP Logged
"Mani, bring my tea and for God's sake this time make sure you put the right amount of tea leaves," an annoyed Aham ordered as he walked up the staircase.
'Here we go again' thought Mani as she reluctantly started preparing Aham's tea. Somehow Aham always found one fault or another in the tea, actually in everything. It was getting really irritating. Meanwhile the annoyed Aham sat on his bed and started undoing his tie rather roughly causing it to tighten instead. This annoyed Aham even more. He felt like strangling someone. He couldn't be bothered with his tie anymore and instead rested his elbows on his knees and placed his face in his palms. He then started his session of 'calming himself down in shitty situations'
He closed his eyes and started concentrating;
She was smiling sweetly and shyly, walking towards him. Upon hearing her payal, he would look up at her as she continued to approach him. Then she would see that he was maha annoyed. She would not say anything but instead raise her eyebrows at him gently as if asking what happened. Then he would start swearing and cursing the tie, complaining like a whiny child. She would just shake her head still smiling and come closer to him such that she was standing just in front of him. She would then raise his chin such that he would be looking up and she could get access to the tie. Then gently with her nimble fingers she would untie his tie and rid him of his misery. Once the tie was out, she would unbutton his top button, making him comfortable. Still holding the tie in her hands she would sit beside him and unconciously rest her hand on his thigh. He would look at her angelic face and she would then softly ask him the reason of his annoyance, giving him her full attention. Once he was done letting everything off his chest, he would feel better and she would get up, place the tie in the proper place and take out his nightclothes. Just a step before she left the room, she would sweetly order him to change, rest and then come down for dinner...
Now Aham felt better, calmer. His annoyance evaporated. He didn't know how long he had been imagining. Could have been 5 minutes? Half a minute? Or perhaps 15 minutes. He took his face off his hands and found his tea on the dresser. He didn't want to drink it for it would only make him annoyed again because as long as someone else made it, it wouldn't be nice. His mind was already set that way and nothing could change that, even if the tea was perfect enough. To him no tea, nothing, not even his perfectly ironed shirt was good enough because it wasn't done by her. Not surprisingly, now the tie came out easily.
He managed to picture her perfectly and clearly today and that's why he felt better. Unlike other days when it was blur and her face wasn't just clear enough. Those would be the worst days for him. He allowed himself some moments to drown in self-pity as he thought of the circumstances of his actions, his ego. Here he was alone and sad while there the family was all of them united. It wasn't as if everyone was against him-no. He was still Aham Dikra. His mother still pampered him, his Kaka was still as impressed. It was just that in phase of his life, he needed her. Who knows maybe she still prayed for him? She still thought about him? Still...loved him? He sighed and took out the red sherwani she took out for him in his imagination a while ago. Even in the bathroom thoughts of her invaded his mind. Now it was not the emotional attraction, it was the physical one. This was not the first time he was lusting for her. He had done that million times already, both in her presence and now even in her absence. He peeled off his clothing and while doing that thought, how did she take out her clothes? Did she undo the sari first or the blouse? Obviously her pallu would be off first. No, she would firstly undo her hair and then put it to the side...
Again Aham closed his eyes and waited for the image to focus. She was standing there just in front of the door fully clad. Then slowly she brought her hand up to her head and undid the pins holding her hair together. Beautiful. She then undid the pin holding her pallu and let it slip off her shoulder onto the cold floor. Now she tugged her sari and undid the folds, that too joined the pallu on the floor. Then she turned, her back was now facing him. She tilted her head and brought her hair to the side exposing her back and the clasp of her blouse. She then twisted her elbow such that her hands could reach the end of her dori. After playing with it a little, she pulled the thin string. Then she used both hands and pushed the two sides of her blouse together before undoing them. This was also left on the ground. At this point, Aham swallowed and the image became blur. She was now taking off her petticoat, her back still facing him but it was all so unclear. He knew he was losing concentration. He could not see the details anymore probably because he had never seen her like that before? So he didn't know what to imagine or rather, how to imagine. Whatever the reason, it only made him curious about her. By now the only thing left on her was the payals at her ankles. She turned to face him slowly and started walking towards him in all her woman glory. Though blur, he could see how graceful she was while taking off her clothing and how graceful she is walking towards him. She then passed by him, giving him a flying kiss and disappeared into the shower cubicle.
Aham finally opened his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. He was flushing. God damn it! Why the torture? Thank god he was good at imagining things as now he managed to get through the day only by imagining her at least twice. But on some days, especially today, he was imagining her more than usual. For Goodness sake, he actually almost imagined her stripping in front of him! This was insane! So very very insane. He quickly got into the shower cubicle and had a cold shower. He desperately started thinking of other stuff. He tried to think of the new deal he signed with a foreign company but then again, he only signed it after he imagined himself sitting in his office couch with her on his lap. He was telling her about the pros and cons of signing the deal and all the while she sat there smiling, caressing his face, listening to him attentively as he let out all that was in his mind. Then, when everything was off his chest, he did not need anyone's advice as everything became clear to him. Again he was thinking about her. Everything seemed to be revolving around her and only her...
He got out of his room and joined his family on the dining table. Maybe with everyone around he would not have to turn into 'insane Aham' imagining things. He was warmly greeted by everyone and served by his Mom. If just she...stop Aham enough of her, he reprimended himself. His Kaki was asking Rashi something about her Maayka. Aham's was all ears although he pretended to be engrossed in the food which he was not tasting. He listened intently. Could be something about her. Bingo! It was indirectly related to her. Kinjal and Dhawal would leaving for Mumbai the next morning and during the same day, in the afternoon, Urmilla Auntie and Uncle Jithu will be leaving for their pilgrimage. But what about her? Was she leaving too? Rashi did not mention her at all. Maybe because I am here. She is probably going too since she is such a devotee. He remembered once upon a time when she was devoted to him. She would even die for him.
Was she still like that after these torturous six weeks? Did she still wear saris and pulled her hair back or did she change her style? Does she even care about her appearance now? No, she better not. What if someone else is attracted to her? What if someone else imagines her like he does? No one should. She was his wife so he had every right to imagine her in any way he wanted. What the hell?! Wife?! Am i getting too far with it?! But i haven't divorced her yet so...ok Aham stop. Enough nonsense. The lack of sleep is taking a toll on you. Go to sleep and strictly, no more thinking about her. She is not coming tonight. You had enough for one day. After giving himself this mini lecture in his mind, Aham left his less than half eaten plate and excused himself politely explaining how he needed to sleep. After greeting everyone he made his way to his room trying his best not to think about her. But somehow she still managed to sneak into Aham's heart and soul.
Meanwhile the Modis are glad that Aham is coping well. Though he was not eating enough and has became quite thin, he was still his usual self, getting even more profitable deals than ever before and being more calm than before although he still snapped at poor Mani for the petty things like his tea and his shirts. Little did they know that all this was because of her, because she came into his mind to console him, calm him down, make him sleep when insomia strikes. It was all because of her-Gopi Aham Modi.
Doston! Remember me? Missed the forum alot! Bet I've got lots to catch up on hai na? College is keeping me busy but I love it! And do you guys know when I wrote this? During my train ride to school! It all started when i saw this really hot guy who looked like Aham and then there was no turning back! Hope you enjoyed! If there is anything juicy or any newsflash on the forum, tell me okay? Don't want to miss the fun!