Kool's Commentary : March 16 - Page 9

naava,

I read this part and was a little curious to understand your POV better.

I share Kools views on the Savita-Manav relationship. 

Generally speaking, I am all for husbands protecting their spouses from abusive MILs and while I admit that Savita's hatred towards Archana is extreme, I cannot say that it is entirely unwarranted.  Frustration and hatred are not rational emotions that can be fairly targeted. In this case Archana is the K's collateral damage for their constant interference in the D's lives.

My sympathies totally lay with Archana when Savita was abusing her mentally, emotionally and physically and I was very disappointed with Manav when he did not protect her during the times he was aware of (if not as a spouse then atleast as one human to another). 

Currently, while I am very intolerant of Archana in general (becasue I have never seen a more blonde Indian before her) I do not believe she is deserving of most of Savita's wrath (maybe some frustrations for her revolving decisions). I believe the entire K family is more deserving of Savita's wrath.

What disappoints me in Manav is that despite his well timed statements and token gestures, his overall behaviour indicates he has given up on Savita.  He has chosen to hold his wife's family in higher regard (in the hope of gaining brown points with his wife unconciously) than in respecting his relationship with his mother. 

then I read this statement of yours

manav didn't reject his mom kools...that's a silly thing to say...😉.

and I got honestly curious.

If you think his behaviour to date is not a rejection of her (you being a mother yourself and so able to relate) then what would he need to do - for you to think he has rejected her in an obvious way?

Pardon me, my intent is not to argue or bash but to really understand. I have ready many posts on this forum condemning Savita and empathising and praising Manav and yours was one of the three of this opinion (that I can think of) that did not have a malicious or provocative undertone and I thought it would be safe to ask you this without inviting WWIII on myself.

If you choose not to respond, I will understand thank you.

Hope

Kools:

going only on the basis of commentary and update, no energy left to watch this pathethic pathos.

Upon which she bluntly asked him ..........Really ? Then will u dump Archana for me ?

this statement in itself does not make me see her as Cruella de Vil.

Parents know when their kids are lying to them or being insincere. It is a built in radar that most parents especially mothers have and when we want to find out the truth most parents use the shock and awe approach knowingly or unknowingly -  ask a "closed" question - one where the answer can only be a Yes or a No - because if you ask an Open Ended Question - the explanations include excuses which are based on other insincerities or convenient half-truths. Even uneducated parents have this basic skill.

Had Manav really been sincere or had not given up on his mother - instead of walking away and assuming the worst about his mother he would have dug deeper to sift the true feelings/insecurities from the question itself - he would have said "Why mom - you know I would be unhappy living without either of you - would you want me to be unhappy? Don't you love me enough?  Had he done this I would have thought his plans of making up were sincere becasue he was trying to genuinely communicate and resolve the problem rather than being hypersensitive to anything the woman has to say. 

How she answered that question would have told me if she was Cruella de Vil
Edited by --Hope-- - 13 years ago

I don't understand what more Manav should do, he has felt horrible for the way he treated his mother, he apologized to her and wants to do right by her but why should that include him having to give up on his marriage? Why should he feel forced to choose his mother over his wife, why can't he have both? Savita is making it impossible for him to be a part of her life without eliminating Archana in the process

very well said. Manav should stop being fool and atleast realise now that his mother is not human being she is evil.  He should tell her to go to hell!!
She didn't look sick when she was telling to manav leave your wife and come and stay here.
Edited by karsri - 13 years ago

]Last time Archana came and she was cleaning up the mess o n the floor , savita could not even tolerate that .She threw her out .....
Tanyaz i get where you are coming from but this is manav"s fault too because he can not leave his mom like this although Savita was wrong too by being stubbornness but Manav is not any less stubborn he will leave his mom for his wife i understand wife is a responsibility but you should never forget the person who raised you fed you bathed you gave birth to you Archana came in his life one year ago and savita ever since he was born but yes savita should not have shown stubbornness tanyaz she was not helping the matter i mean manav did ask for forgiveness so on savita part she should forgive him and invite him first (then archana when she feels like it)

Kool, If Manav comes and tells Archana ....' my mother doesn't love me and the only way I can win her love back is by leaving you .. that is not fair at all... Edited by Tanyaz - 13 years ago

Edited by Tanyaz - 13 years ago

Parents know when their kids are lying to them or being insincere. It is a built in radar that most parents especially mothers have and when we want to find out the truth most parents use the shock and awe approach knowingly or unknowingly -  ask a "closed" question - one where the answer can only be a Yes or a No - because if you ask an Open Ended Question - the explanations include excuses which are based on other insincerities or convenient half-truths

.

Thats EXACTLY what happened today . He was LYING and she caught him even in that fuddy duddy state . Infact Hope he was being EXTREMELY patronizing . I wish she had smacked him .

.

So many days he consistently told her he dOES NOT want her in his life .............to GET LOST . Trying to be politically correct he first laid the onus on HER and said Its U who kicked us out .........quite forgtting how he ran away at last moment without telling ANY elder . His expectations that he and his wife wud be WELCOMED were in itself so unrealistic . Then she ACTUALLY started coming around and was going there etc . He THREW her out in FRONT of Dharmesh . In front of SASURAL . Then said vicious things to her coz she slapped Archana when Archana had slapped Shravni EXACTLY in the same way ............unable to hear the fact that Baby Sachu wud perhaps die . That day he BROKE relations with her . Today he matreialised suddenly at Dads behest .......after deprioritizing her AGAIn ...........this time for a TOTAL stranger called MADHURI . Then he started PATRONIZING her . Naturlly she too gave him hurt in return . When u HURT ...........HURT is what u get .

 

Now Manav shud do KRUPA on us viewers . He shud STAY at the KHOLI and tell Archana to SHUT UP if she suggests he shud live with his mom .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 13 years ago