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Kool's Commentary : March 16 (Page 11)

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 7:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by naava



manav didn't reject his mom kools...that's a silly thing to say...Wink. i have often wondered tho why Savita doesn't care about Vandu at all......focused only on manav......something to ponder.

i liked your commentary alot though...i agree that Savita meant what she said..she wants to be left alone, she has removed herself and is in deep depression...but family is usually the last to recognize that and continue the games of combat...and blame...usually self blame on the part of the others...



naava,

I read this part and was a little curious to understand your POV better.

I share Kools views on the Savita-Manav relationship. 

Generally speaking, I am all for husbands protecting their spouses from abusive MILs and while I admit that Savita's hatred towards Archana is extreme, I cannot say that it is entirely unwarranted.  Frustration and hatred are not rational emotions that can be fairly targeted. In this case Archana is the K's collateral damage for their constant interference in the D's lives.

My sympathies totally lay with Archana when Savita was abusing her mentally, emotionally and physically and I was very disappointed with Manav when he did not protect her during the times he was aware of (if not as a spouse then atleast as one human to another). 

Currently, while I am very intolerant of Archana in general (becasue I have never seen a more blonde Indian before her) I do not believe she is deserving of most of Savita's wrath (maybe some frustrations for her revolving decisions). I believe the entire K family is more deserving of Savita's wrath.

What disappoints me in Manav is that despite his well timed statements and token gestures, his overall behaviour indicates he has given up on Savita.  He has chosen to hold his wife's family in higher regard (in the hope of gaining brown points with his wife unconciously) than in respecting his relationship with his mother. 

then I read this statement of yours

manav didn't reject his mom kools...that's a silly thing to say...Wink.

and I got honestly curious.

If you think his behaviour to date is not a rejection of her (you being a mother yourself and so able to relate) then what would he need to do - for you to think he has rejected her in an obvious way?

Pardon me, my intent is not to argue or bash but to really understand. I have ready many posts on this forum condemning Savita and empathising and praising Manav and yours was one of the three of this opinion (that I can think of) that did not have a malicious or provocative undertone and I thought it would be safe to ask you this without inviting WWIII on myself.

If you choose not to respond, I will understand thank you.

Hope


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Claire0206Jaishankaranu rulzkoolsadhu1000Dabulls23

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

A sick and immensely tired Savita who was going to sleep at 8 in the night without eating dinner analyzed Manav very accurately even in that fuddled state . She said
1] You have come here NOT coz u LOVE me like before but DUTIFULLY , only after realising that I am seriously sick now .
 
2] This has nothing to do with EHSAAS . U see guys Manav had LIED to her that AB MUJHE EHSAAS ho gaya hai .She accurately replied that EHSAAS BIHSAAS Kuch nahi , its DUTY that called u . A little LATE in the day .
 
3] The bond between u and me is now KHOKLA
 
4] Blood does become thin as Life takes turns ..this is what life taught me
 
Upon which Manav said NO . Its NOT true . I DO love u .
 
Upon which she bluntly asked him ..........Really ? Then will u dump Archana for me ?
 
Upon which Manav remained silent .
 


Kools:

going only on the basis of commentary and update, no energy left to watch this pathethic pathos.

Upon which she bluntly asked him ..........Really ? Then will u dump Archana for me ?

this statement in itself does not make me see her as Cruella de Vil.

Parents know when their kids are lying to them or being insincere. It is a built in radar that most parents especially mothers have and when we want to find out the truth most parents use the shock and awe approach knowingly or unknowingly -  ask a "closed" question - one where the answer can only be a Yes or a No - because if you ask an Open Ended Question - the explanations include excuses which are based on other insincerities or convenient half-truths. Even uneducated parents have this basic skill.

Had Manav really been sincere or had not given up on his mother - instead of walking away and assuming the worst about his mother he would have dug deeper to sift the true feelings/insecurities from the question itself - he would have said "Why mom - you know I would be unhappy living without either of you - would you want me to be unhappy? Don't you love me enough?  Had he done this I would have thought his plans of making up were sincere becasue he was trying to genuinely communicate and resolve the problem rather than being hypersensitive to anything the woman has to say. 

How she answered that question would have told me if she was Cruella de Vil



Edited by --Hope-- - 17 March 2011 at 2:37am

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Claire0206anu rulzkoolsadhu1000

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 7:19pm | IP Logged
I don't understand what more Manav should do, he has felt horrible for the way he treated his mother, he apologized to her and wants to do right by her but why should that include him having to give up on his marriage? Why should he feel forced to choose his mother over his wife, why can't he have both? Savita is making it impossible for him to be a part of her life without eliminating Archana in the process
 
I know Archana's family has rightfully been criticized over their treatment of Manav but in the end Archana's parents chose her happiness over their own. They accepted Manav for her, and have given him a chance the same cannot be said for Savita. If she doesn't want to accept Archana fine don't do it, but stop having Manav feel he has to choose and guilt tripping him by saying he does not love you. 
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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bollywoodcrazed

I don't understand what more Manav should do, he has felt horrible for the way he treated his mother, he apologized to her and wants to do right by her but why should that include him having to give up on his marriage? Why should he feel forced to choose his mother over his wife, why can't he have both? Savita is making it impossible for him to be a part of her life without eliminating Archana in the process
 
I know Archana's family has rightfully been criticized over their treatment of Manav but in the end Archana's parents chose her happiness over their own. They accepted Manav for her, and have given him a chance the same cannot be said for Savita. If she doesn't want to accept Archana fine don't do it, but stop having Manav feel he has to choose and guilt tripping him by saying he does not love you. 


very well said. Manav should stop being fool and atleast realise now that his mother is not human being she is evil.  He should tell her to go to hell!!
She didn't look sick when she was telling to manav leave your wife and come and stay here.


Edited by karsri - 16 March 2011 at 8:05pm
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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bollywoodcrazed

I don't understand what more Manav should do, he has felt horrible for the way he treated his mother, he apologized to her and wants to do right by her but why should that include him having to give up on his marriage? Why should he feel forced to choose his mother over his wife, why can't he have both? Savita is making it impossible for him to be a part of her life without eliminating Archana in the process
 
I know Archana's family has rightfully been criticized over their treatment of Manav but in the end Archana's parents chose her happiness over their own. They accepted Manav for her, and have given him a chance the same cannot be said for Savita. If she doesn't want to accept Archana fine don't do it, but stop having Manav feel he has to choose and guilt tripping him by saying he does not love you. 
 
 
So Manav SHOULDN"T choose PERIOD Mandy . He should stay at his kholi and NOT come here AT ALL . Thats exactly what she said . Anyways he hardly CARES for her nowdays . Even today he rushed to help a THIRD person before rushing to see his mom . She gave him the condition so he wud walk away once and for all and NOT be a hypocrite and stand there professing LOVE when in reality he had to be dragged down to even do his BASIC DUTY .
.
Now its UPTO him NOT To listen . Be a MAN and DONT listen . And if Archana FORCES him to listen ..............like those nonsensical MAHAAN stunts she pulled with Shravani ..............then its purely Archanas problem . Just coz someone gives u conditions u dont have to listen to them AT ALL .
 

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:22pm | IP Logged
]Last time Archana came and she was cleaning up the mess o n the floor , savita could not even tolerate that .She threw her out .....
She accused Archana of trying to take over her home ....
The day Archan and manav got married , manav told his mother firmly that Archana will stay there only then savita said , if that happens , I will leave ....she is terribly stubborn as all of you can see..Just to prove a point to her son , she went to jail .....
Just to prove a point she will have no hesitation in becoming homeless and go out on her own ....
Manav is in huge trouble because he does loves his mother a lot but he cannot leave his wife like this .

Tanyaz i get where you are coming from but this is manav"s fault too because he can not leave his mom like this although Savita was wrong too by being stubbornness but Manav is not any less stubborn he will leave his mom for his wife i understand wife is a responsibility but you should never forget the person who raised you fed you bathed you gave birth to you Archana came in his life one year ago and savita ever since he was born but yes savita should not have shown stubbornness tanyaz she was not helping the matter i mean manav did ask for forgiveness so on savita part she should forgive him and invite him first (then archana when she feels like it)

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
Kool, If Manav comes and tells Archana ....' my mother doesn't love me and the only way I can win her love back is by leaving you .. that is not fair at all...
I wish he had not told her this and had taken care of his mother in his own way ...
Obvioussly this is  telling Archana that indirectly she has come between mother and son and I think this will make her feel guilty ..You know she  would do anything  to make him happy ...
Kool , Manav never does anything on his own ...he always makes it looks like it is Archana's decision where it is always his wishes that are being followed ..
I would definitely blame Archana for being stupid  and always foolishly trying to keep him happy but if this happened again then I will feel very very bad for her .....


Edited by Tanyaz - 16 March 2011 at 8:36pm

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Posted: 16 March 2011 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bhallarox

]

Tanyaz i get where you are coming from but this is manav"s fault too because he can not leave his mom like this although Savita was wrong too by being stubbornness but Manav is not any less stubborn he will leave his mom for his wife i understand wife is a responsibility but you should never forget the person who raised you fed you bathed you gave birth to you Archana came in his life one year ago and savita ever since he was born but yes savita should not have shown stubbornness tanyaz she was not helping the matter i mean manav did ask for forgiveness so on savita part she should forgive him and invite him first (then archana when she feels like it)
 
I know Bhalla .He has to go and be with savita because she is not well and she needs him  very badly .there is a baby in the house and he too needs to be looked after ...
I don't think Manav has a choice right now ..He just has to do what savita is telling him to do .....
And for that he has to leave Archaan ...I have a feeling that his telling Archu ( after hugging her ) was his first step towards preparing her for the eventual thing to do .....
he will look so sad and so miserable that she herself wil l tell him to go .....
the only person he can get away with doing what he wants to do is only Archana .......
 
It would be very sad ........
 
Of course they could show Archu getting in the hosue with force bu tthe way savita is right now ...I don't think that will work ..savita will just leave the house and prefer becoming homeless.....than live with Archana taking care of her ....


Edited by Tanyaz - 16 March 2011 at 8:37pm

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