I watched today's episode just an hour ago and it got me emotional. Which bewildered me, because the last time that I almost cried while watching DSP was, well, back when he broke down over Nakusha's betrayal. That's a while back. So I started thinking. Oh, me and thinking is a bad combo. But as I started thinking about what had gotten me all cry-me-a-river, I realized that it was him once again. Him.
Dutta Sriram Patil. Who else? You thought that I meant Chaskar, didn't you? *pukes*
Moving on. It was the scene in which Dutta is being taken to Ranga that acted as a total tear-jerker moment for me. It was the way that he stopped, smirked, turned his head in the infamous DSP way, beat them all up, and didn't even pause to catch his breath. This scene brought back memories, old feelings, reminding me of why I fell in love with this beautiful killer.
I sound like I'm ready to be shipped off to the loony bin.
Because how can one love a beast, right? How can one embrace a monstrous being that has killed over and over again in cold blood, whose hands are soaked in red, and whose heart has been submerged in ice?
I don't have the answer. I don't know how I can love him. I just know that I do. Maybe it's this love that's gotten to my head and sent me on a Baabi Trip today. Crying sucks, by the way.
So I want to share some personal thoughts on Dutta with ya'll. But I bet that you're all so bored by my post already that I'm basically talking to... my computer screen. Okay, this does not make me feel any less crazy. A little support here, fellow fans.
Dutta. Dutta. Dutta. Where do I start?
The man that Dutta is slowly transforming into incites reverence within me. There is a power within Dutta that just cannot be matched by any man. This intensity, at times it seems to set his character ablaze. It is like beholding the most magical fire, knowing how dangerous it is – knowing that you will burn if you step too close. But it is such a sweet, tempting pain that you do the forbidden. You step too close.
Having seen his transformation from boy to beast to man has been an epic journey for me. There is something about Dutta that pulls at something in me. How else could I ever fall so hard for a cold-blooded killer (it's not like I'm the kind of person who writes love letters to Dexter on a daily basis) and even find myself attempting to justify his actions? It was upon seeing the human in him, seeing glimpses of his vulnerability that I realized just how beautifully complex this character was; that despite having made all the wrong choices, he carried the consequences and struggled to sustain the human in him.
He compels me to feel for him. I cannot help but love him. No matter what.
Today, I realized that even with the new transformation in Dutta, he is still very much the beast that Nakusha fell in love with. Not only was it his subtle animalistic head-turns that convinced me, but it was the expression in his eyes, the emotions in his voice – Dutta will always be the beast. And there will never be another woman who will be able to accept him or sacrifice for him. No other woman.
He is what he is. And isn't it the heart of this beast that we love? Despite his killing without a second thought, we know that in his heart every blood that is spilled by his hand is making him condemn himself.
He is the kind of suicidal man that presses a razor against the thin skin on his wrist, but never makes the final cut. Deep down, he isn't ready to die.
His road to redemption would indeed be the most beautiful and tough to watch. Perhaps every struggle in his life so far, every pain that he has suffered through, has been a step in washing away his sins?
More so, I believe that Nakusha is his redemption. Had she not come into his life, his soul would have succumbed to the darkness within him and he would have been long lost. For good.
Oh, how I love this man 😍 And I love his darkness. (Now you may ship me off to the loony bin😕)
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