Ch17: Six Months
& Seven Steps
Kalawati placed the bag of peas down and went to pick up her
ringing mobile but before she could reach it Debu who was doing his last
revision for his final exams at the dining table had picked it up. Debu shouted
excitedly on hearing who it was,"Jiju! Kaise ho aap? Haan haan maine padai kar
li…kal Biology hai…nai maths accha tha…history thoda bakwaas tha…arey yaar,
main kyun yaad rakhoon ki 19th century mein kya hua tha…kya logic
hai? nai nai…paper tough nai tha….par maine dates mein garboard ki hai…likhne
ke baad yaad aaya…par tab tak mujhe wo answer cross karke dubara likhne mein
bahut bore ho raha tha to waise hi chod diya…kya farak padega?" Kalawati looked
aghast at the little terror. Here she was quacking in fear that he had muddled
his history paper and the minx had purposely submitted the wrong answers as he
was too bored to rewrite it! She pulled his ear taking the mobile from him and
whacked his back to direct him back to studies. Debu made a face at her and tucked
his face behind the book rubbing his red ear. Kalawati- Haan bhau bol, kasha
ahet? Tai kaisi hai? unke jodo ka dard theek hai?
Dutta groaned inside but kept his voice normal-hmm, sab
theek hai tai. Aajkal meri davai chod ke Swami Ramdev ki bhakt bann gai hai.
pata nahi Mary se kya sab bekaar ke ghaas-phus ubal kar piti hai. Bahar walo ko
pata chalega ki mere hi ghar mein mere log meri doctori pe bharosa nahi kartey
to meri dukan band! Phir meri biwi ka kya hoga? Talking of whom..aaa..tai,
nakku hai wahan?
Kalawati smiled in the phone knowing well why her little
brother called every evening at this precise hour on her cell. She gave a
surreptitious look at the object of his affection. Kalawati noted that nakku
was peeling peas for dinner's mutter paneer with more concentration then the
job warranted. But unfortunately since the phone has rung she had reversed her
actions and was putting the peas in the trash can near her leg and putting the
skin of peels in the cooking container. She thought it prudent to save her peas
and called her over,"Nakku!" Nakku came out of her reverie and looked down at
the mess and went dark shade of pink. She quickly got up and took the phone
without meeting Kalawati's eyes. Holding the phone to her ears she listened.
His husky voice murmured,"Meethu?" She turned to look around her to check if
anyone was paying her attention and walked towards the stairs still holding the
phone.
He lied down languidly on his four posture bed and listened
to the sounds intently. He could hear the tinkling of bells of her anklets and
could guess that she was running up the stairs to the first floor room. He
heard a soft closing of doors and knew that she must be locking it. Some more
tinkles and jingles as she made herself comfortable on his bed, he thought. He
smiled trying to picture her sitting there in that room beside the rajnigandha filled vase beside the bed,
popped against the pillows she must have dusted this morning maybe hugging one
to her.
Nakku smelled the pillow and knew that it didn't have that
citrusy smell but still she could imagine it in her heart and gripped it
tightly,"Hmmm?".He smiled,"miss me?". Nakku nodded quickly as she
answered,"bilkul nahi." Dutta chuckled,"theek hai to main rakhta hoon?"
"Naiii!! Sunye naa…"She gasped in fear of him hanging up. Dutta- so….Nakkusha
made a face- I love you..i miss you….i am sorry ki maine shaadi postpone
karai…theek hai? Dutta grinned-Bola na..roz ye ek baar tujhe bolna hoga. teri
punishment hai mujhe tarpane ke liye.Nakkusha smiled,"aapki nursing home waalon
ke saath meeting kaisi rahi? Wo log maan gaye garibo ke liye charity unit
kholne ke liye?"
Dutta groaned and pulled his laptop closer looking at the
graph projections he was working on,"Nai. But atleast mujhe straight maana bhi
nahi kiya hai. But…ab un logon ko proper graphical report chahiye ki ye unit
unka profit nahi khayega. I hate statistics..i hate powerpoint and I hate the
management jargon." Nakkusha asked softly,"matlab?" Dutta-matlab ki main doctor
hoon…yeh sab profit loss mujhe nahi pata…par ab mujhe saari raat jag ke ye sab
banana hoga…phir se meeting request karni hogi aur in sab kamine paise ke
bhukhe gidaron ko dikhana hoga ki unke paise salamat rahenge.
Nakkusha frowned- Sheesh..Kitni gaaliyan dete hai aap…chee!
Mere chotey bhai ke samne aise baat nahi karna.
Dutta- tera bhai? Tera bhai mujhe do-char cheez sikha de
itna smart hai samjhi! Aur tere pitashri kya kar rahe hai..chasma laga ke paper
pakad ke soo rahe hai? Nakkusha- mere babuji ka majak mat udao. Accha batao,
tumne waqt pe dopahar ko khana khaya tha? Dutta thought of the coffee and
walnut cookie he had had before going to the board's meeting and crossed his
fingers,"Yes." Nakkusha looked suspiciously at the phone-jhoot! Kitne pee hai
aaj? Dutta looked sideways at the cigarette he has just put out a minute ago -
kya nakku? come on! Nakkusha kept quiet fuming inside. He could feel her anger
through the wireless line. He sighed and confessed- jayada nahi. Nakkusha-
kitni? Dutta licked his lips- 2…maybe 3. Nakkusha- jhoot jhoot jhoot..mujhe
yahan tak badbu aa rahi hai…agar aapne shaadi tak nahi chodi na..to
main..to….main…haan main shaadi ke baad leelatai ke saath rahungi. She felt
proud of herself for coming out with that threat. Dutta- main shaadi ke pahele
tai ko thane ke flat mein shift kar dunga. Nakkusha shrieked exhasperated as he
grinned. They continued their bickering for some time and then settled down to
talk about their day and just discuss about random things. They talked till it
became impossible to hold the cell to the ears due to the heat emitting from
the electronic device. When nakkusha went down to keep the cell on the living
table she realized amazedcthat again she had talked for over two hours. She
wished looking at the clock that tomorrow evening would come sooner than today.
*****************************************************************************************
Kalawati was sorting the invitations that were to be sent
tomorrow. She checked again if all of them had the auspicious sindoor-haldi
kumkum on it. She heard the happy chatter of the three girls as they entered
the house with buddhuram heralding nakkusha's entrance as always. She felt a
pang in her heart, just two weeks and then she would not here that parrot's
voice telling her of her nakku's coming. It was amazing that on one hand there
was immense happiness that her little nakkusha will become her vahini. She
could not have asked for anything else if she had climbed all the stairs of
Bamleshwari on her knee. But then there was pain that Nakku will have to go far
away in distant world from her even though, it was with her bhau. She knew
Leelatai will always be there for her nakku but then leelatai was so strict and
abrupt in her manner. And nakkusha was terrified of leelatai as she had
confessed to kalawati many times now. In three weeks wedding ceremonies will be
on the way. Sangeet, mehendi and engagement were fixed on the day before the
wedding and then day after the wedding she would take the bride and groom to
seek blessings of bamleshwari mata in dongargarh. And then two days later Dutta
will take away nakku. Kalawati swiped away the tear behind her spectacles and
looked up as Nakkusha came in with Sonu and Dimple, Dinky' younger sister.
Nakkusha chirped as she sat beside kalawati- Didi, dekho na..sagai aur shaadi
ka joda sill diya hai, farooq kaka ne, aaj ke aaj hi. kitna pyara salma-sitara
walla pattern dala hai neck pe. Dimple-maine na kaha tha farooq kaka ke haathon
mein jadu hai. kaichi pakdi nahi, kapda aapne aap banana lagta hai. Didi ke
shadi ke aur uske baad ke pag phere wagare ke dresses sab unhone banai the.
Kalawati looked at the beautiful dresses and nodded at nakku's effervescent
happiness. Kalawati gave nakku a sideways look and said- waise phone aaya tha. Nakkusha
stilled while opening the bangles box and looked at kalawati. Kalawati took the
box from her hands and opened it saying with emphasis- Chaar baar. Nakkusha
picked kalwati's cell from the coffee table and giving a apologetic look at
kalawati and dimple ran up the stairs hitting the speed dial button. She
reached the terrace and sat on the cot as the phone kept ringing. As it went
unanswered her heart began to beat faster. She tried again and this on fifth
ring it was picked.
"Where the hell were you? Kahan gayi thi? Pao mein chakkey
hai kyat ere, chupchap ek jagah nahi reh sakti?"
Nakkusha fumbled with answer- wo main…shaadi ka joda lane
gayi thi…subha hi nikle the Raipur ke liye…
Dutta interrupted her with a growl- I am not interested,
damn it. What the hell is wrong with you? bataya kyun nahi tha kal raat ko?
Nakkusha-subha achanak plan ban gaya tha isliye. Maine didi ko bataya
tha..Jijaji chod aye the..aur..le bhi aye the sham ko.
Dutta closed his eyes trying to hold back rude curses. He
knew he was being unfair in using her as his punching bag to vent his
frustrations but he had desperately wanted to hear her voice today and she was
not there. Today was he had had his biggest failure and he needed her. He
needed her balm to soothe his wounded soul.
Nakkusha could feel the caged rage in him- Suniye naa..kya
hua? Kya baat hai? Dutta- koi baat nahi hai. Nakkusha-umhuu..kuch hua hai.
aapka gussa bol raha hai. kya hua? Kyun phone kar rahe the.
Dutta sighed- I lost her, Nakku. I lost. Main haar
gaya..baccha nahi paya usse. Nakkusha gripped the ropes on the cot so tight
that they left marks on her hands. She whispered- Pinky? Dutta nodded then
realizing she can't see him he said softly- pinky. Nakusha knew how much that
little girl had began to mean to him. For past two months he had spoken
everyday about the energetic, chattering eight year old girl who was diagnosed
with an acute heart condition. He had once held his phone to the little girl so
that she could talk to nakkusha.
"Aap mere waale prince
se shaadi karogi?" "Ammm..aapke prince?""Haan mere waale prince..inhone bola
hai ki ye na asal mein prince hai…Cinderella waale..abhi doctor ban kar yahan
chuppe huye hai…takki jadugarni ne mujhe jo bimaari di hai wo theek kar
de.""Accha to wo aapke rajkumar hai…to theek hai aap bolo..main shaadi na
karoon."
There were some loud
whispers and mumblings on the other side of the phone then the voice came
again,"nai aap shaadi karlo..par..aamm thodey dinno ke liye..jab main theek ho
jaungi tab mera waala prince mere saath shaadi karega..OK!" " Hmm..OK!"
Nakkusha felt her eyes water in pain for the little girl and
for him. She knew how much pain he must be in. Nakkusha-"suniye, please…aap
aise mat tootye. Aapne puri koshish to kit hi naa…jo hona tha usse to nahi rokh
saktey"
Dutta- Nahi nakku, Jo hona tha usse rokhne ki hi kasam khayi
thi maine. I am a bloody doctor damn it. I needed more time ….nakku..i needed
more time….kuch to kar sakta tha main…warna kis kaam ka ye sab. Bloodyhell!
Nakkusha heard a loud crash of mettle and stood up gasping
in fear- Dutta…! Dutta jawab dijiye….aap theek hai na. Dutta! She heard a low
curse then his firm voice- Main theek nai hoon. I need you, nakku…damn it I so
need you.
Dutta pressed his hand to his weary face and willed himself
to form the words- Do din se I could see the drop in her reports. She had
stopped responding to the drugs. Pain bhi bardne laga tha. So much pain…so
little…So much suffering. Phir yesterday..kal raat ko 3 baje uski halaat aur
bhi bigard gayi..i went in and saw she needed the surgery immediately. 5baaje
tak we were ready to operate….pahele do ghantey tak…sab kuch theek tha..i mean
critical tha but..conrol mein tha sab kuch…I..I took a break after the fourth
hour…dixit took over…main bahar aaya..scrubbed again and went back…kuch dus
minute huye hongey…haan..10-15 minute bas…andar sab badal gaya tha….we were
already losing her. We tried to bring up the heart beats…shocks
diye…repeatedly….respiration control karne ki koshish ki….adrenaline rush
inject kiya…everything…Har shock ke baad uska chotta sa body..it used to jump
off the table…Nakku…aise uchchalta uska nanha sa sharer….it didn't
work..nothing worked…she fought for three hours…3 bloody damn hours…and
couldn't do anything…nothing..Nakku..i lost her. Nakkusha tasted the salt on
her own lips as she heard him. she knew that Pinky must be in peace now after
all this pain but for him these things didn't mean anything. He was man of
facts and proofs. He didn't believe in God or soul or afterlife. For him there
was one life and one chance at it. And that made it all the more difficult for
him to accept death. Dutta- teri bahut yaad aa rahi hai. Kaash tu yahan hoti.
Nakkusha smiled in between her tears swiping at her runny nose- main to wahan
hoon aapke paas. Aap apni aankhen band kijiye. Dutta closed his eyes. "Ab
aasmaan ki taraf rukh kijiye" He laid his head back with his eyes closed."ab
aapni aankhen kholiye" Dutta opened his eyes. He was amazed to see that the sky
was so clear tonight even in Mumbai. He could see the sprinkle of stars winking
at him. "Chand dekh rahe hain""Hmm!"" kaisa hai""amawasya aane waali hai""haan
par aaj to amawasya nahi hai na..aaj chand hai..dheere dheere chota ho raha
hai..par aaj hai humare saath.""aaj hai par kal to nahi hoga..asmaan khali ho jayega..andhera
ho jayega""Par phir agle din thoda thoda karke bada hoga…phir poornima
aayegi..sab kuch chandni mein doob jayega..aisa hi hota hai…humari zindagi
mein…amawasya ke darr se agar chand aana chod de to poornima kaise hogi" Dutta
gave a mirthless laugh,"Aisa nahi hai naaku…moon ka aapna Forthnight circle
hota hai…wo dharti ke chakkar kaat ta hai…aur isliye" Nakkusha gave a husky
laugh,"Main jaanti hoon…par aap nahi samjhe…aapka logic sahi batata hai..chand
ke parikrma chakra ke bare mein..par kabhi aapne logic se bahar aakar sochye
na…har aamavasya ke baad ek naya chand aata hai..dheere dheere bada hota
hai..phir aapni pura jeevan jeeke dheere dheere phir chotta ho jata hai…aur ek
din" Dutta listened to her soft voice. He let her words drench his soul and
wash away his guilt. Yes, he needed her to keep reminding him about all that
was good in the world. Everything that was beautiful and he needed her to tell
him that she still loved him even if he failed once in a while..he was still
her prince.
Leelawati watched her brother look at the sky and gaze at
the stars as he mumbled something on the phone every once in a while. She felt
the calm emanating from him in contrast to the wild eyed restlessness that she
had witnessed everytime he had been unable to save his patient. She knew when
he lost one as he would walk out and not come back till early hours of the
morning. Then he would titter back on unsteady feet and tired stance reeking of
alcohol and a mindless night. Watching him like that gave her hope for the
future. She would be always grateful to that girl for this hope.
********************************************************************************************
It rained on their wedding day. August showers washed away
the rangoli that the girls had painstakingly made to welcome the guests.
Kishore and madhu's husband Rajeev had had the foresight to ask the tent
contractor to put a waterproof plastic coating on the wedding venue. But the
flowers were a lost cause. Dutta had climbed the decorated horse and as the
baraat had made way to the venue midway huge droplets of water had besieged
them. Puneet, Roopwati's eBay manager husband was a fun loving fellow who
missed his country and its unique traditions. He paid the band extra to keep
playing even in the rains and dragged his wife and teenage children to dance
even in the rain. Rajeev had soon followed suite and dragged his beautiful wife
in the downpour. Soon all had left the cover of umbrella and were dancing on
the wet streets on the rhythm of the thunder.
So a very wet and cold Dr.Dutta Patil had reached the Mangal
Mandap to marry his bride. As the flimsy white curtain was removed from between
them so that the bride and groom could share their first look, Nakkusha's eyes
widened in horror at the sight of her groom who looked like he had faced a
storm to reach there. The garland had seen better days as the few remaining
flowers on it were trying to fall south on the ground. His off-white heavy
embroidered kurta was sticking to his lean body like second skin and his hair
was sleeked back with water droplets still clinging to it. The sehra and pagdi
was a lost case and hence he had forfeited it to someone's care. He looked
divine and earthy to her. His citrusy smell still clanged to his body making
her breathless. Nakkusha automatically clamped a hennaed hand on her mouth to
smother her giggle when he winked at her. And that was just the beginning.
During the hastmilap he whispered to her that he wanted to
keep his hands like this forever because not just her hands were so soft to
touch but also because finally due to the heat of the yagya agni he could now
feel his numb fingers.
During agni homa, the kushi, a special spoon used to scoop
and pour the ghee as sacrifice in the fire, slipped out of his nimble fingers
and landed in the fire itself. The old pandit looked aghast at his copper spoon
fast taking an ugly black look in the wedding fire. Dutta gave embarrassed
smile at him mumbling a weak 'Oops'. He quickly dipped his hands in the burning
fire making nakkusha catch her breath and brought out the offending spoon with
a few screams of 'aww..aww' and then promptly dropped the hot mettle in the
holy Ganga water to cool it down making the priest shake his head in despair.
During the gatbandhan when sonu was having trouble tying the
knot, he offered to tie it for her making the priest burst out in outrage.
"Dutta, tu gupp bas!" Leelawati warned him making him roll his eyes. He took
the first three pheras at a speed which made Nakkusha wonder if he was trying
for some fastest pheras first records. But in spite it all when the time came
for him to fill her forehead with the blessed sindoor, he met her eyes and held
them till he filled her forehead with the red powder. He looked at her face for
a second as a look of naked possessiveness and contentment cloaked his
features. He smiled a secret smile to her and as he bent towards her to
tie the mangalsutra, he whispered for
her ears only,"tu bahut meethi lag rahi hai…I love you!". She blinked at his
words and then blushed as deeply as the sindoor smeared on her forehead and
nose. Her eyes stayed downcast till the end of the ceremony with the heat of
the blush at his words still coloring her features.
They took their first steps as man and wife as they walked
down the dais to seek blessings from their elders. Nakkusha stumbled at the
step with the unfamiliar weight of her lehenga but he was there immediately to
steady her by holding her hand. He kept holding her hand even after steadying
her. She tried a few times to slip her hand from his hold but he didn't budge.
So she left her hand in his. After all, now he had the right to do so in front
of God and world.
………………. To be continued.
Edited by shilpita87 - 13 years ago
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