They say that world, as we know it today was result of a big co-incidence, maybe a quirk of nature. Does that mean that we were not even supposed to be here? Our whole existence was based on a mistake, some malfunction. Maybe it is true. Because if some divine power really wanted our existance then we would have existed in perfection. We would be perfect beings without the dark and baser feelings like greed, anger, jealousy, violence. A harmonous living!
But life found a way. A not so perfect existence but still a strong pulse, a heartbeat. Life and death come together in pairs. Anything that breathes will perish at some time. But what if death is not a result but destination. I believe that death is like a man with base instinct who has fallen in love with the beauty of life. The spleandour of coming to this earth and owning a part of it as your own little world. Life intrigues death, teases it with its innocence at childhood, seduces it with its youth and understands it with its age. Death waits for life to grow ,with beguiled eyes it watches its little antics and like a possesive lover tries to capture it whenever it becomes reckless. Then when life needs rest, death opens it arms wide and lets it sleep peacefully.
Death waits for life to take charge of itself, as well it can, because death knows that its not easy for life to find its way in this imperfect world. Life finds a way, but life fights its way through it all while death keeps guard to hold it when it gives up. Yes, death becomes one with life when life gives up. And like every war, life wins some battles and looses some.
Death makes one realise what living is. It
makes every second that ticks by a gift. Life is like box of choclates, someone
in a movie said. I heard other say its an icecream melting to be enjoyed fast.
I say, life is a beautiful co-incidence and death is certianity, then why
wonder about it. It more interesting to marvel about life.
Ch30: Dark Day, Long Night
"A 16yrs old female 26 weeks pregnant admitted with internal genital bleeding, multiple fractures including 3 broken ribs and deep bruises and injuries in chest,back,face and skull." The nurse read the chart for the benefit of all the surgeons gathered around the girl lying on the bed hooked to machines and IVF. The atmosphere was tight with tension and could be cut with a knife as the surgeons shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of the man sitting beside the admitted woman.
Dr.Patnaik flipped the charts to study the reports when Raut broke the silence,"iske pahele wale hospital mein bleeding rokhne ki koshish ki thi doctor ne. saare procedures aur medcines ka report maine submit ki hai. I am sure ki usmein koi galati nahi hai." Patnaik smiled,"I am sure too ki usmein koi galati nahi hogi. Galati karna aapke fidrat mein nahi hai, Kamesh ji. Dr.Patil, aap detail mein bataye."
Dutta stepped forward logging his laptop as nurses arranged the various scans and Xrays to the screens,"So far humein internal bleeding ka cause ek internal chot lagi hai which can be fixed from surgery, but that rules out normal delivery for her and that's just the beginning. She will need orthopedic surgeries to set her bones in the right leg and collarbone, also uski ek rib toot ke bikhar chuki hai. and it has puntured the wall of her heart, which will be our 1st priority. Iske alwa there is a head injury, which needs surgery to relieve the pressure on brain nerves. And… "
"Hold on,Patil" Dr. Goyal interupted,"How did you decide ki heart surgry will be the 1st priority?" Dutta sighed,"because if her heart is not attented to 1st it would stop and what use will be the brain surgery then?" "If the brain stops functioning due to hammorage then?"Dr.Goyal shook his head,"No we need to be there. A team of two neursurgeons will be there to immediately start with the brain once the bone is out of the heart." Dutta nodded,"Ok. Next we will tackle the…"
"The baby.."Raut muttered. Dutta-What? Raut cleared his throat pushing the spectacles on the bridge of his nose,"humein..i mean…aap logon ko Baby ke condition ko monitor karna chahiye..i think. " Patnaik nodded,"he is right. Waise maine baby ki report nahi dekhi…kahan hai?"
A nurse looked uneasily,"Dr.Roshni , head of OBG/GYN, unhe study kar rahi hai, sir maine unhe call kiya hai." Dutta continued flicking the reports on the laptop and stopped,"Damn! No wonder, roshni ab bhi study kar rahi hai." Patnaik- matlab? Dutta flipped the laptop towards them,"see this. The report shows ki fetus ka dil uske chest se bahar develop ho raha hai. just below the skin. Which makes operating on the mother even more dangerous for the fetus, It's a total pickle, I mean how many surgeries we can do simulatneously on them. Humein open featus surgery kar ke fetus ka dil push in karna hoga. Then only we can procede with mother's operation."
"That will be too late."Goyal muttered looking at the chart again,"I need to get to that head injury fast." Patnaik nodded,"mother's heart needs attention quick. It's all loss situation. And I have never done a fetal procedure. Mujhe pata nahi mumbai mein kissine aisa kiya bhi hai kisi featus pe."
Dutta cleaared his throat,"err…I can do it. Maine kiya nahi hai par maine Dr.Smultz ki ek aise surgery ki video study ki hai, minutely. I have met him in a conference and I can catch him online for guiding us."
Patnaik- but that still leaves the question who goes in first.
Raut- why not everyone? They all looked at him as if he has lost his mind. So Raut continued,"she will be already down under anesthsia. Fetus will be under anesthsia as well. So maa-bachey dono pe saath surgery ho sakti hai..dutta can handle the baby, while patnaik and goyal handle the mother."
"But I don't think it will be a good idea. Surgery means blood and she has already lost a lot." Dr. Roshni entered smiling tightly at the group assembled around."Plus it might push her body into premature labor which at this stage will mean death for both. I suggest we take a chance with the mother's surgeries and leave the baby for now. I will be there to montior her. Once she is out of danger we can work on the baby."
Dutta murmured thoughtfully,"we can give sedatives and supresants to hold off labor hence loss of fetus. I think we can pull it off. "Roshni nodded,"yeah we can hope that we pull it off and Dr.Patil?" Dutta looked up questioningly. Roshni leaned a bit to him,"It's a baby. Not just a fetus." Dutta sighed,"in medical terms its still a fetus.Nurse get her to OT. I see u all there sir." As the surgeons filed out of the room Dutta started looking through the files again.
Roshni- what is it, Dutta? tum dartey ho ki if you call it a baby it will feel more alive to you hai na? But tum zindagi se bhag to nahi saktey. Tum usse bas fetus kaho it doesn't change the fact that its life in there. It has hands and legs, ek dil hai..apni jagah se bahar hai par hai, dhadkan hai, or 27weeks mein to baal aur eyebrows bhi hai. It's a baby,Dutta.
Dutta- Roshni!I…Roshni lifted a hand to stop him- what if Nakku was carrying? Will you call ur unborn baby a fetus? Ye ladki behosh hai but please give her the coutsey to not call her baby a fetus in front of her. Dutta- I am a doctor too, Roshni. I know my bedisde manners. But I can only call it a baby when it has potential of surviving independent of it's mother. We all know the chaces of that at 26weeks 2 days is very low. 26weeks 2 days not 27weeks. I will call it a baby when it is an individual human being.
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Dutta paused at the gallery of visitors adjusting his scrubs and walked towards Raut who was chatting to an old matron jovially. Dutta-I am glad you gave up your stubbornness and brought her here. Usse proper hospital ki jarurat thi. Raut turned to him with a smile-mujhe wo kal 11.40 ki local train mein milli thi. Maine usse yahan subha 6.10 ko admit kiya. Us beech maine puri koshish kari,Dutta ki usse yahan aane ki jarurat na ho. Par main bhi jaanta hoon ki meri limatations kya hai wahan clinic mein. There is only one place I can trust my patients to make it. Its here. With my people. Tumhein lagta hai ki ye meri narazgi hai. meri zidd hai. Par jab tum meri umar tak pahuch jaogey tab itni duniya dekh logey ki samjh jaogey ki it takes a lot from a man to hold a grudge and stubborness. Its just too much work to hold up ego fights. Just don't let my patient die in there.OK!
Dutta nodded and started to move towards the OT when Raut called him. "Her name is Nanda. Kal usse thodi deir hosh aaya tha. Main nahi jaanta ki usske saat kya hua but itna guess kar sakta hoon ki us bacchi ne bahut kuch dekha hai,Dutta. I also know because she told me ki usse ye baccha nahi chahiye. She doesn't want the baby to survive. But I want you to save both my patients. " Dutta walked towards the OT without a word.
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"Damn Damn Damn! The baby heartbeat is dropping Dutta. You have to get that mother's heart beating again.Now."Roshni hissed at the surgeons bowing over the open body. "Don't you think I know that,Dr Roshni? That's what I am trying for past 3 minutes. I don't get it the brain surgery went well,Right? Goyal?" He looked up to see Goyal and his resident nod from their mask. "Sir we did things right here? So what is causing the arrest. We should shock her?" Patnaik shook his head with his hands still inside the open chest,"No we risk shocking the child." Roshni shrilled anxiously,"Too low. Too low. She has been down 3.15 minutes and a baby can only surive within a body with no heartbeat for just 5-6 minutes. And I can't do a Ceasarian now. It's not an option either."
Dutta growled angrily,"You won't need to. I will get this heart pumping or damn me. There has to be a coth, a road block. A clog. Ahhhaa..Yes…yes..number 10 now." The nurse handed him the scapel as Patnaik saw the coth at that moment.
Dutta sighed as he saw the heart start and resume a steady beat,"there you go. All done." Patnaik nodded,"Well done..well done team. Lets close her and take her to…"
Dutta shook his head- No. I mean close karte hai but let's do as Dr…I mean as Raut suggested. This is as good a time as any. Humein fetus ka heart surgery bhi kar dena chahiye. I have Dr.Smultz on skype.Now. I know I can do this.
They all looked at him undecided for a moment but at the look of confidence in his eyes they nodded in agreement.
Dutta nodded at the nurse to flip his cell and connect it to the laptop for a call to Dr.Smultz in New Jersey.
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"Doctorsaab apna cell answer nahi kar rahe ab kya kare?" The man panicked as he turned to look at Nakusha whose was lying sweating and unconcious on the backseat of the car. A very obvious patch of blood was now growing steadily on her saree. He gulped,"Khoon aa raha hai..hey bhagwaan kahi gaadi mein daaltey huye humne kuch…"
"Hospital aa gaya hai, Yaar..inka husband bhi yahi hoga..aur baaki to bas.."
They got her on a strecher as soon as they stopped at the gate. The man at the driver's seat looked at the receptionist,"emergency…ye yeeh wo aapke yahan doctor hai unki patni hai…Patil..haan Dutta patil…ye mrs.Dutta patil hai."
Receptionist looked at him in horror,"Mrs.Patil..Ok sir. Main abhi call karti hoon..just a minute."
Nakusha was whisked to emergency ward in seconds while her helpers gave the details to the doctors.
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Roshni saw the screen on her cell light up as she broke her attention from watching the miracle being worked by Dutta on the baby. She saw the caller and surreptiously picked up. She grunted in the cell as the caller filled her in with the details. She looked at the man working on the tiniest heart she has ever seen with horror as blood rushed to her brains."I'll be there. Ok."
"But Dr. Patil…" Roshni spoke forcefully,"I said..main aa rahi hoon."
Dutta looked at her in irritation,"Please Roshni. Right now I need a smoke the most but since I can't have that, I will settle with some quiet in my OT."Roshni nodded,"I am sorry. An emergency. I think Dr. Vyas can handle now. You have it under control so may I?"
Dutta shook his head in exhasperation,"Oh Thank you please..leave. Now."
Roshni slipped out biting her nervous lips under the mask.
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Dutta felt alive after a long time. The procedure had went well with both mother and the kid. Now if only it all held for a while. He shook out the feeling of foreboding and walked confidently towards the visitors to give Raut the news when he spotted a man from his apartment building. What was his name he tried to recall as the man spoted him and made a hurried beeline to him. "doctor saab kaise hai wo?" Dutta gave a tight smile,"I am sorry. Aap 7th floor pe rehtey hai na…Mr?" "Desai. Murli desai. Jee kaisi hai wo ab?"
Dutta cleared his throat,"aapka koi admit hai yahan? I will try to find…" Desai looked at him astonished,"Doctor saab…aapko pata nahi..kissi ne bataya nahi?" Dutta shook his head looking at the fear and pity in the man's eyes- kya?
Desai gulped- aapki patni…humne usske kuch dair pahele yahan emergency mein admit kiya…par humein andar…
But he couldn't finish his explaination as he saw Dutta run down the corridor crashing into people.
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"It was 5weeks. Infact it's the most common case, Dutta. Many woman don't even realise when this happen as they simply assume it's their menstural cycle. A chemical miscarriage. The very sign that there was no sign of preganancy was symptom to this."Roshni looked at the white faced man starring with hollow pained eyes at the prone woman on the bed."Dutta?"
Dutta cleared his throat,"y..yeah…I know. But..i don't get it..how ..i mean we were taking precautions..both of us." Roshni shifted uncomfortably,"Yes…well there is no…Life finds ways.You know." Dutta grimaced,"yeah, I guess…but it didn't,did it? It just brought pain." His eyes grew huge as he remembered something," Oh shit! There were.." Roshni frowned,"Yes?" Dutta shook his head,"There were syptoms. Damn there were symptoms. I missed them. Fool…she was having the pains for few days and she told me last night. She said it was stomach ache..I gave her a metrozel..a stupid bloody antiacid pill..all that time she was lossing my baby and I gave her a bloody antiacid. And I made lo.. Oh.." He covered his face in horror as tears slipped out.
Roshni licked her lips,"it's not your fault Dutta. no one could have guessed. Infact, it would not have been so painful to her either. Except that.."Dutta mumbled defeatedly,"except that she had a fibre clot in one of her ovaries which grew worse with the ectopic pregnancy."
Roshni nodded,"maine surgery ki hai. she will be fine in few weeks now. And in a few years, you guys can…try for a baby. There is no reason for her to…" Dutta nodded,"well that was the plan. Ek-do saal mein.." Roshni smiled,"You should. Can you imagine what a cute baby she will make with all her generous nature, love and warmth. Of course, agar baby doesn't get your sour disposition." Dutta smiled ruefully,"irony is…maine aaj tak imagine nahi kiya..humare bacche ko..kabhi socha bhi nahi ladka ya…but now all I can think of…" "is your baby…"roshni completed,"I can understand."
Dutta picked the hospital documents that are normally signed before any surgery.Roshni placed an hand on his shoulder,"I am sorry I went ahead with the treatment without letting you know. You were in the OT and I just thought….I had no right to do it without your concent..without following protocols." Dutta looked her in eyes with respect,"I wouldn't have expected anything less,doctor. Thank you. Meethu ko…I mean Nakkusha ko main khud bataunga."
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Nakkusha opened her eyes which felt heavy like lead. A cold metal touched her lips as his voice came to him."anethesia ke baad muh dry feel hota hai. Ice chips se thoda theek lagega." She tried to lift her head to bring his face to focus but felt like her head was held back with iron balls. An unknown female voice came to her,"She should have been out for some more time..but sometimes human body metabolizes the drug faster..phir bhi kuch dair ke liye let her be like this."
Dutta murmured,"yeah, I know….i will be here roshni, waise bhi tumhara shift khatam ho gaya hai na?" Nakkusha heard some murmurs and footsteps out of the door. Nakkusha opened her mouth to ask for some more ice when he immediately placed the spoon again ,"I bet..tujhe abhi zohu ka kalakhatta flavour wala syrup yaad aaraha hai na?" Nakku streched her lips to smile but the effort was too much as she slipped back to sleep where she dreamt of a small red thing clinch and heard heartbeats, fast erratic. She felt like floating in air while trying to clutch something franatically. Dutta watched her drift back and checked her pupils. Asleep. Good. Heartbeats and pulse was fine as he checked and double-checked.
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"Mujhe ehsaas tak nahi hua…pata hi nahi chala uske hone ka…uske aane ka..bas mehsos hua to uske…."Nakkusha pressed a hand to her cheek and closed her eyes. "bas 5 haftey ke liye wo humari zindagi mein aaya tha…usse pata hoga ki hum usse nahi chahtey tabhi wo chala gaya..Dutta! humne humare bacche ko nahi chaha isliye..aur ab wo kabhi nahi ayega…"
Dutta shook his head fanatically,"aye nakku. kya bol rahi hai…aisa kuch nahi hai….ismin teri koi galati nahi…kissi ki koi galati nahi….infact aisa sabse commonly hota hai kai auraton mein…aur there is no medical reason ki hum jaldi se conceive na kar sakey…ab hum kuch dinno tak careful medical treatment lenge and by next year.."
Nakkusha shook her head,"Nahi..mujhe pata hai..kala didi ko bhi…main bhi kabhi.." Dutta growled at her angrily,"Aye! chup! Aisa kuch nahi hai kaha na maine..Kalatai aur teri condition totally different hai…unka case bleak tha…jabki tera case mein koi badi complication hai hi nahi." He looked at her wet blotched face after hours of crying and pressed a weary hand over his head."I am sorry, meethu. I didn't mean to scare you..but tu meri baat maan hi nahi rahi hai. Tujhe meri baat pe bharosa nahi hai. I know you are hurting…I am hurting too. Mera bhi to….I lost our child too,meethu. Par main ye bhi nahi bhul sakta ki ek tarah se uske karan teri bimari serious hone ke pahele humare samane aa gayi…warna…."He leaned to wipe the few tears on her cheeks and kissed her softly on the forehead,"I am just glad ki tu theek hai bas…sab theek ho jayega…Ok!"
Nakkusha stayed silent as more tears streaked out but she felt he was waiting for her reply so she nodded slowly. Dutta sighed,"Kaladidi aur tere babuji ko phone kiya hai..unhone kaha hai ki wo 2-3 din mein aajayenge…aur.." Nakkusha opened her eyes in panic,"Nahi aap unhe manna kar do…babuji ki tabiyaat bigard jayegi itna bada rasta hai…aur ab unke aane ka bhi koi matlab to nahi…main to theek hoon na..aur..bas."
Dutta shook his head,"Leelatai ne kalatai se kaha hai..Wo khud nahi aa sakti kyunki unke NGO ka koi courtcase chal raha hai..aur main Kalatai ko nahi rokh sakta…and you need to be taken care off till everything is fine. Please bahas mat kar ok?" Nakkusha nodded.
She looked at him in the eye for the first time since he had told her about everything in a very emotionless profesional way. He had not faltered once in the naration and explaination of her condition or about the miscarriage. For a bystander it would seem that he was heartless and unemotional cold person but nakkusha had felt the pain he had burried deep inside him since he must have found out. Nakkusha moved a bit on her bed carefully as her body was gripped with suden bolts of pain. Dutta started worriedly,"nakku? kya?" She shook her head with a tentaive smile and lifted her hand a bit to call him.
Dutta stilled as he saw her beakoning him encouragingly to the bed. A slight pained smile on her trembling lips. He moved like light and held her in his arms like gathering a fragile figurine with care as his damn burst and tears flooded his being. Nakkusha was too tired to gatehr him around her so she lay lifelessly letting him hold her. He gathered her closer wrapping her in crook of his body warming her as his own pain merged with hers.
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Roshni made the entries in the charts," You are doing much better,Mrs.Patil. Waise to Dutta ne aapko sab bataya hoga par phir bhi koi bhi sawal ho please aap mujhse kabhi bhi puch sakti hai." Nakkusha smiled bravely,"jee,main ghar kab jaa sakti hoon…inhe Mary didi ke haath ki chai pasand nahi." Dutta tsked irritatedly,"Nakku…Shhh!" Nakkusha made a muse of her lips,"main jayada din tak padi rahungi to adrak ki tarah aait jaungi.."
Roshni smiled,"Jab tak aapke stiches nahi sukhtey tab tak to nahi…uske baad bhi…nakkusha ji…main aapko naam se bulaun na? Nakkusha ji, kum se kum do haaftey tak to aapko adrak ke panje banana hi hoga."
Nakkusha nodded,"jee…ab ye koi aam nimbu hota to chatt par sukha lete…taakon ka kya karey! Humare rajnandgaon mein bittu ki mummy ka …wo…Ceasure hua tha…tab pura mahina laga tha…ek mahine tak bacche ko utta bhi nahi pai thi.." She stopped on the last words as her voice choked," ek mahina….Suniye…" She turned to dutta her eyes sparkling with moistness,"4 haaftey mein ek mahina hua na…aur 5 matlab to…ek mahine se bhi jayada…ek..mahine…se bhi…" Dutta gulped the heaviness as he shook his head," Nakku…Tu chidiya ki tarah baaton pe phudkane ke jagah doctor ki baat sunegi…pata hai tere jaise patients hi ache khaase operation ke baad dubara aajate hai sepsis ya kuch leke kyunki doctor ki baat theek se nahi suni." Nakkusha swiped her hands on her cheeks and looked at roshni with a temultous smile,"jee aap keh rahi thi…"
Roshni closed the charts and stood up,"bas…baaki nurse ko pata hai main shaam ke rounds pe phir milti hoon. Aa! Dutta, I guess you will be handing over the patient in 201 to Patnaik now?" Dutta nodded.
Roshni stopped at the door and watched the couple as Dutta murmured something to his wife who tearfully shook her head facing away from him. "Dutta? May I have a word with you? Please." Dutta looked up a frown on his face as he approached,"Kya hua? Kuch...I checked her BP and heart...twice since morning...no temperature at all...so...what.."
Roshni stepped a bit out,"nahi, she is fine..i just thought...well...nakkusha ji ke test records mere paas hai aur kal operation ke pahele humne ultra sound kiya tha to.." Dutta frowned in confusion,"ultrasound? Kuch aur complications...uterus mein fibroids to...that will mean another Op...par.." Roshni shook her head urgently,"Nahi dutta...she is fine..we got it all out,Ok?what i am saying is that...that i have this...if.." she hesitated as she extended a small paper at him."if you think this might...usse shayad achcha lagega..ye dekh ke." Dutta turned over the paper and nodded.
As he approached her bed where she still was resolutely staring out of the binds he said in a grim voice,"4 hafte mein ek mahina hota hai...5 matlab ek mahine se jayada...aur medical terms mein agar tab dekhe to wo bas ek chota sa live cells ka mass hoga...kuch aisa." He placed the paper face up infront of her to get her attention. He continued softly slighty moving the paper which was followed hugrily by her still swimming eyes,"But 5th week ke baad hi ye mass ek ba..bacche ka shape lena shuru karta hai...neural cord jo baad mein..."He voice hitched as she met his eyes but he continued,"reer ki haadi banti hai...halke jaale jaise figures gehrane lagte hai jissie bache ko maa se nutrition milta hai...dil ke liye jagah banti hai...aur..." Nakkusha asked softly,"ye uski tasveer hai?" Dutta nodded. She searched fanatically in the black and white grainy image for some signs. Dutta moved to sit beside her slowly circling his arms around her neck and rested his chin on her head holding the sonography picture infront of them as she touched the picture tentaively as if it will also dispapear like the small life it showed in it,"Ye..ye..jo...chota sa mongphali jaisa haina...yehi hai.. kuch itna sa hoga.." He spaced his thumb and forefinger to show her...aur..ye jo...hai na...wo hai...uska..."
...To be continued
(Any misrepresentaion of medical facts is deeply regretted. I as best research as library books and Google provided)
This content was originally posted by: shilpita87work in progress..will update Soon.😊
regards uvi
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