12/3 - Sid-Riddz: Mujhe farak padta hai,Siddhanth
A lamb-lost-in-the-woods Sid sat amongst a confused and shocked Naina , Naina's over-excited father and his own Kektafied biologically-doubtful mother ( I REFUSE to believe that this nautanki-in-motion actually gave birth to such classy supergorgeous kids as Sid and Sue) ..... he didn't want to be here and listen to the ramblings of the two parent parties who could put Sooraj Barjataya to shame with their syrupy plannings for Sid and Naina's wedding and their never-to-be children.Sid looked unsettled and just wanted to disappear so that he doesn't have to be a part of this B-Grade pre-marriage video. Same goes for the beautiful beautiful Naina who wanted to pack her Dad to Gujarat and Sid's Mom to Houston.
And then.... then.... she came.... Riddhima. Unsure , unsettled , fidgety, nervous and drawn by a strange magnetic pull towards her husband. As she looked in from a hidden corner , you wonder why she has come here? What wind blew her in? What is that force which brought Riddhima here against her decided will , her whole being? What did she come here for? To see Sid's prospective bride? To see if Sid would actually go ahead and marry somebody else? To see if it is that easy for this Man Friday of her's to let go of whatever they have seen , been through and shared together? Above all, to see if Sid can let Riddhima go?......She saw him with the face of a wounded woman who knows that her heart bleeds and tears don't stop but she cannot put her finger on that feeling of yearning , hope , hopelessness, that strange fear of losing something so precious that your entire life would bleed out of you if that person was to bow out of your life.....
Stung by the thought and fear of losing Sid to another woman, Riddhima's heart shatters when she hears KM's opinion of her while Sid just wants to hop off somewhere so that he doesn't have to hear a single word against Riddhima......Tears roll down Riddhima's cheeks as she tells herself that maybe KM is not wrong after all... If I would have been a good ideal wife , my husband wouldn't have been here to see another girl ...and your heart goes out to Riddhima....here is a woman who has suffered hell once she lost her first love and finally , when life found her again with a second chance at love wrapped in the form of a gorgeous human-being like Siddhanth , it is all slipping out of her hands.... You actually fee like wrapping Sid in a bright red glitter paper with a lovely golden bow and silver tassels and putting him in her arms....... And then, cutting through the whole room , and overlooking Naina, Sid's disturbed face catches a glimpse of Riddhima and that does it for him.... Riddhima realizes that Sid has seen her and she immediately goes away , tears streaming down her cheeks......
But then, haven't Sid-Riddz always been about that intense mutual pull that places them in a magnetic field of nameless emotion? How could Sid stay back?
Sid takes Riddhima's name and gets up in the middle of the room , forgetting where he is , what he is doing , with whom he is sitting..... it's Riddhima... he saw Riddhima and that is all that mattered to him at this instant. .... I saw her ! She was here ! Where did she go? Why didn't she meet me?.... Throwing all the questions of the Sooraj Barjatya brand of parents to the wind , Sid rushed out of there to look for Riddhima....his only driving thought was Riddhima....
Back home, Riddhima runs into the house sobbing like a child - she doesn't know where these tears are coming from but they are coming and she cannot even look straight.... that punch in her heart of being rejected by Sid ... she cannot take it and she just wants her heart to stop beating so that this pain ends.... this strange feeling of being hollowed out ends.... she is a woman scorned and that emotional anger shoots through her face and her blood shot eyes.... Sid doesn't want to be with me. He doesn't want to walk with me... and if he doesn't want me , why am I clinging to these threads of hope... wearing all these symbols of a married woman when they hold no meaning to Siddhanth? I am a nobody in his life and i have to accept this fact.... hurt ,angry and stung , she takes off the wedding chooda , the mangalsutra and tries to wipe off the sindoor.......
Sid comes back home , doing what he loves doing best , taking Riddhima's name and hunting for her in the whole house.....there is something very special about the way Sid screams Riddhima's name and searches for her and no , it is not about today. This is how it has always been- he always comes looking for her and ultimately finds her. Today was no different , Sid came looking for Riddhima and he found her....
Riddhima sat in her room , quiet , still, sulking and tears quietly flowing down her cheeks. Sid comes running into the room and shoots her with a flurry of questions....Riddhima! You came to the hotel, didn't you? Then, why didn't you meet me? Why did you come back? .... and you smile at Sid's volley of questions. What are you more worried about Sid? That she came to the hotel or that she came away without seeing you? .... this... this is the extent to which Sid has gotten used to Riddhima , her being around him , her presence and her attention....he is upset because she did not meet him. He has clearly forgotten the situation that he was in.. he only remembers Riddhima running away with tears in her eyes.
Riddhima! Are you listening to me? I am talking to you! Not to walls.
Riddhima lifts her head and looks at Sid like a pouting hurt kid whose lollipop has been snatched away from her and Sid is struck by the tears streaming down her cheeks. She gets up.
Riddhima takes a step away from 'Aap' and comes to 'Tum' indicating the moving away from the play of respect as her heart bleeds....
Are you cuckoo, Siddhanth? Meet you? Meet you while you were sitting with your prospective new wife? Why should have i met you, tell me!
Sid is taken aback by her tears and her emotional outburst and it hits him. He tries to make sense of this sea change... and asks her that what difference does it make to her? Me, this marriage , this relationship are little more than a burden to you.
Riddhima , holding on to an emotional cliffhanger and feeling her feet turning to clay tells him that it does make a difference to her! She has no idea how and why but he makes a difference to her and this feeling is tearing her apart....
Sid looks at her dazed for a second or so and then , he looks at her bare arms , her bare neck and a grim sad smirk comes over his face - if me and this marriage mean something to you , then why did you take off the symbols of the pious bond that we both are bound in. Tell me.
Riddhima , almost crumbling tells Sid that she cannot make sense if what she is trying to tell him... she has no idea how to explain it to him and to herself but this relationship , this marriage is her life....she wants to hang in here.... this relationship is the only truth she understands and wants to understand....nothing else seems to make sense to her , nothing outside seems to matter.
As Sid looks at her in a daze and tries to understand what she is trying to convey to him, Riddzie walks closer and as though lifting barricades from the crashing waves emotions that she harbours for her husband, she runs into his arms..... and hugs him, placing her head on his shoulder and crying like a baby , clinging to him as you cling to your last hope to life when jaws of death await below..... clutching his shirt with her curled up panicky fists as if to make sure that he won't disappear if she eases the hold on him..... You are my only truth, Siddhanth , the only truth that i want to be with , the only truth i see for myself.
At this point , you wish that like always , Sid hugs her back , places a hand on her head and tells her that he will make everything alright.
A stunned Sid slowly lifts his hand and places it on her back as Riddhima's tears, her words , her sobs, her emotional outburst sinks onto his bones and tries to find a way into his heart.....All this is surreal for Sid as he wonders against hope that is it possible?... is it possible at all that Riddhima can ever be capable of loving me?
When Riddhima hugged Sid out of sheer emotion , she took a giant leap of faith and feeling.A woman who hated Sid with all her being a few months ago and who believed that she would spend rest of her life like an autumn leave swaying to winds and never even feel again.... the same woman found a second chance at life and love through Sid. He healed her soul and that is how he found his way to her heart......he blew life into her again and when this man is stepping away , Riddhima feels again and she cannot understand how she will be without him. This indicates and proves that the heart always survives on the blood of compassion.... that a heart , even the most breakable kind , the one shredded to pieces can find love again, can learn to beat again if destiny smiles....this is nature's way.....Spring will always come looking for you once autumn is over.The first cut is the deepest cut , true but it does find it's healing.
For Sid , as I said , all this is very surreal. For him , Riddhima is a precious swan he was meant to protect and stand by. He is bound to her by compassion , empathy and poignancy. He never allowed himself to even think that he could love Riddhima - no.He has seen Riddhima's sorrow , love and yearning for Armaan , the kind of madness she went through while looking for him and that is why it is next to impossible for him to even think that Riddhima would ever have any feelings for him. He loves her , yes.... you don't go through hell and back for somebody just like that. It is just that he has conditioned himself and his heart in such a way that even if his heart beats for his wife, he cannot hear it. His doors still stay locked but Riddhima is now unlatching those doors....
Sid had told Riddhima that he would always wait for and that she is the one who will have to take a step towards him and finally.... Riddhima has not only taken a step towards him, she has taken an emotional plunge towards him and for her , he is her only chance at life , love and her own self.
Now, it is for Sid to open his arms and his heart to her and finally believe that Riddhima is not his wife just in name - she is his wife in heart , soul and spirit. That he really is her only truth.
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