Dark Temptations [My OS Gallery]: Breathe : Pg 11 - Page 4

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: monikaseth

mahak  great dear well written awesome ..thanks a lot for pm



Thanks yaar...

I am glad that you think that it's well written...

Thanks...thanks a ton...

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: love.mayurarti

beautiful os
luved the letter n could feel the pain of missing someone
after reading dis am missing my brother...i fought with him n nt even talking with him
really am nt missing him n hate him...
vry well written mahak



Thanks yaar...

I am so happy that you could feel the pain...if you really could, then my mission is accomplished.

It makes me ecstatic that you could relate it with yourself...

And trust me, even if you think that you hate your brother, u never can...u love him...

Thanks...thanks a ton...

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: prachi_mjht

good one yaar



Thanks yaar...

I am glad that you think that it's a nice one...

Thanks...thanks a ton...

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: anumeha_rajat

gr888 work dear...

beautiful os...

thnx for the pm...



Thanks yaar...

I am glad that you think that it's beautiful...

Thanks...thanks a ton...

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: rose.three

sry 4r d late reply...
amazing...awesome... beautiful OS...
loved it...



Thanks yaar...

I am glad that you think that it's beautiful...

Thanks for loving it...

Thanks...thanks a ton...

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: MjhtFan_Mahima

name mate Hey NM :)

 
i know mera comment hamesha first hota tha Yeah, i remember how to used to race and comment first...LOL...i miss those days...
 
but i was highly inactive Yup, i knw that u became inactive...
 
you know na 12th ke science student ka haal toh Yup, i have suffered throughout those two years :(
 
i remember reading it on fb Yup, i remember that too..you even commented there...and we had a little chat there...
 
and reading it again touched my heart again Aww...thank u sooo much NM...i am so happy that it touched your heart...my mission is accomplished :)
 
 
Aaahhh...i so missed your colourful siggies...thanks for using them again...they refreshed my memories...

i knwo who it was for *wink* Yeah yeah, i know that you know about it...
 
love Love you too..
 
mahi
 
p.s loads of works to read thus a short comment Koi nahi...i can manage :D

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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: a little faith

Mahak, Hey Sabah

I am not missing you.

I loved those opening bold, brazen statements. Thank you :) They are so thoughtful, so that just by the fact that so much time has gone into their composition, one begins to get an inkling at their contrary nature. Aah...i just love the way you can think... We only forget those things, people for whom we have no regard. So true...we can never forget the people we love..Very thoughtfully done!⭐️ Thank you :)

Then this paragraph, I am not at all missing you. How can I? You have only gone today. And I don't even care about you. It's just that, I don't want you to cry for me. It's so because of a fact that I am not missing you. And if you would cry, then your eyes would give you a burning sensation and you won't be able to enjoy anything. But then, who cares about your eyes? An insight to the untruthful nature of her suppositions. Yup, indeed it is. And to be honest, it feels wonderful to see through the things. They almost give themselves away, then that sudden remembrance and that quick last remark. 😆 Yup, although she is showing that she doesn't even misses her or even care about the person, she is worried about her. Her level of care is shown by the little things she unknowingly slips.

And if mother Then tying up all loose ends, so that there are no fraying threads that would unravel the true nature of their heart. Indeed, she doesn't want the person to get the correct idea of her state. She feels vulnerable and is trying her best to remove all the evidences of her state. She even warns her about her mother. Because she is afraid that her mother would leak about her condition to the person, so she is taking precautions. Excellently done! ⭐️ Thanks...i am very happy that i could do so :)

you telling me that the entire room if yours and you can lie on either side you like. Again that detailed reminiscence that you weave in so that it is the word for word verbatim remembrance of things said and done that we find their true feelings. Although she doesn't want the person to know about her feelings, she can't help but give out some hints. It's not in her nature to hide something. She thinks that she is successful in showing that she is unattached, but in this attempt, she is unconsciously proving how attached she is. Wonderfully done! ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you sooo much *blushes red*

What else can I ask for?   It was at the end of this paragraph, that I found my heart breaking along with theirs. Awww...I am ecstatic that i accomplished my mission. As a writer, i always want my readers to connect to the story and feel what the characters are feeling. And it feels great when someone can do so. If you can feel their pain, this means that i am successful in writing. Just skillfully done! ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you *blush remains constant on her cheeks*
⭐️
Just to tell you, I am using your image as my mobile wallpaper. Not because I miss you and want to watch it when I cry, or to kiss my screen when I feel lonely, but it's because I clicked this picture when you were not paying attention to me. I am so going to show this picture of you to everyone, and make fun of you. And you won't be able to stop me. I loved the movements within this paragraph.  Thank you, i am glad that you do. :) Those truth filled untruths. Exactly! THEN just a genius manoeuvre, you write in lines where they defend, or further verify their position WHICH in fact we know will actually happen in the literal sense, they will show that picture they took sneakily and they will make fun of you BUT from these acts they derive pleasure rooted in love. Wow, you really could understand each and every hidden truth. I am amazed. You are such a great reader. You could see through those hidden feelings and actually understand the truth of her condition. Well done *claps* It is just an attempt to soothe their loss. Right. She knows that she is just passing fake threats. I love the threat in the last line that is actually a veiled plea, please come back and stop me. Aah...you exactly got the message. It makes me ecstatic to think that you could actually read those words in their actual sense. You are the only one to be able to do so. Beautifully done.⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you :)

I am happy that you are away for a few days. Now I don't have to cry in front of you. You know how I hate to cry in front of anyone! And you always make me cry, by making me pour out my feelings or point of view about things. You know how I prefer to be silent and keep things to myself. And you! You always force things out of me, and make me feel light hearted.I love the contrary nature of this confession, for what are they doing right now but pouring their heart out to that very person they profess they hate sharing such sentiments. 😳 Yup, so true. i am amazed with your uncanny ability to see behind those veiled words. She says that she hates sharing her feelings, while on the contrary, she is doing the same thing! And that too, without her own knowledge. She is so open with the person that, without even realizing it, she is doing the same thing that she hates.

Then the confession which was already there within the subtext of before. So that all the previous words become a preamble to this sentiment. Yup, in the last she admits her defeat. She realizes that she can't fight anymore. all I can think is how much I miss you.👏 Wonderfully done! ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you :) I love how you say to prove to you for in truth she could never prove it to herself, the pain of their loss is undeniable. ⭐️ So true. The pain of her loss is behind her ability to express. Even she is unaware of the condition she is in :)

Then that change of direction, that subtle need to know, do you miss me too, using the same tactic as before through using negation to affirm. She desperately needs something to hold on. She wants the affirmation that the person whom she misses so much, misses her too. She wants the reassurance that she is not the only one. She wants a to hear those four words 'I miss you too'. She wants to confirm whether her feelings are one-sided or not. She feels absolutely vulnerable in doing so. Skillfully done. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ Thank you so much *shy and giddy*

And this is your punishment for leaving me. And if you want to save your things from getting stolen, then return to me, immediately. That veiled threat exposed as their hurt heart. ⭐️ At the end, she grew tired of fighting a lost battle. She threatens the person to him/her back. She is so much in pain that she even dares to threaten the person she loves.

I don't want to be a part of your memories, but your reality. Beautiful line. 😳 Thanks you :) *shy*

Missing you...already...That lull, the end of the remembrance following to that poignant truth, that it hurts more not to think of them, then even the pain of thinking of them, missing them. At the end, she knows that she has lost the battle. She loves the person truly and she admits it. She admits that all the while, she says that she is 'not' missing the person, she is suffering terribly in longing.

Mahak, just a wonderful piece of prose, so delightfully written illuminating the intricacies of the human heart so insightfully.  Wonderful. ⭐️⭐️⭐️  Thank you. One must have to be able to connect with the work to understand the delicate chords. And it makes me a little proud to see that you were able to do so. Feelings are the only thing which i can explain and show, without even feeling them on a personal level. I keep myself on the character's place, and write down what i think is right. So, it makes me quiet happy to think that you could connect well. :) <3

Love Sabah



I have replied in green :)

Your comment truly made me think for a moment, about my luck. I mean, how can i be so lucky as to get you as a reader as well as a friend.

Seriously, your comment made me happy to publish this one-shot.

Love,
Mahak

Edited by ...Mahak... - 12 years ago
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Posted: 12 years ago
Thank you friends for all those beautiful comments :)

I am so honored by them :)

It literally pays off to write something and then read so many comments on it...

And this one-shot was literally very close to my heart.

Thank You for being there with me.

You guys always make my day <3

I am going to post my next one-shot soon :)

- Mahi
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Posted: 12 years ago
Hey its a nice read... wonderful...
I liked it :)
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Posted: 12 years ago
Originally posted by: smiling-face

Hey its a nice read... wonderful...
I liked it :)

 
Thanks yaar...

I am happy that you liked it...

Thanks...thanks a ton...