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Posted: 13 years ago

Hello all! 

Most of you must have forgotten me by now, eesh! Nevertheless, I am now to post one of my OSes that I wrote with Abhay's point of view just after his identity was disclosed to Pia. 

It's particularly short, writing with an inhumane boy's point of view is difficult you know. πŸ˜† Anyway, honest feedback is heartily welcomed. Do leave in your comments and use Like, if you find it worth. πŸ˜³

Pardon the errors, whatsoever. =)



One Shot: Feelings

I did not feel numb. That does mean I could feel, in the sense anything so I won't be erring. I am forbidden to feel, it is against nature but it just always fascinates me. I wish I had the might to go against the nature, though. But it is just a wish, a wish that is about two centuries old.

 

What am I supposed to do if I have calculated with my inhumane mind that she, who is my great grand daughter's great grand daughter's age with an intrigue beyond my tolerance, cannot afford to be with me? I have known her, two times more than she knows herself and I declare, she does not know what she is demanding.

 

My brain registered the fury and disgust, and most of all fear that poured out of her eyes that night. She was afraid of me. I understand what must have been on her mind, how she must have felt and what she is going to have to bear with in my presence ' but that one moment gave me a push into the reality. She's just human. How long is her love going to endure?

 

She eradicated me of her life. I wondered why she feared me, would I ever hurt her? Ever in my life, even if life isn't completely a justifying term? The answer to the former is yes, I think. Having said that, it did not take any long for me to make out what that meant. I could save her from every sinister around, but there is no one I know who can save her from me. Good, she threw me out!

 

This is funny. I don't remember the last time I laughed but this makes me want to give it a try after all. Post getting in terms with my identity, after knowing all of my past reminiscent of a nightmare playing on her face ' she asks me why I let her fall in love with me. Is she ever going to stop pacifying, even when I am not angry and then, pester me?

 

True, I am an immortal and she a human being. Truer, I fell in love with her against all norms of nature, not against my will though. Truest, it is neither her nor me to be blamed. I had warned her to stay as far away from me as possible. I was at my adamant and arrogant best. I made one slight mistake, of having to protect her once which was followed be a volley of many more falls and catches, chases and rescues.

 

This isn't one but many mistakes. I realize that, she reads it on my face. Had I not been always there, she would have only hated me and not hated loving me. But how could I ever let her be in trouble when I could rescue? Isn't it reasonable enough that it is just not in my might to stay away from her, to not help her when she's in trouble? I assume, not.

 

Having to be capable to live till eternity is thrilling but what would it be when you're alone, right from the beginning to the end which is possibly never to me? I wonder, why I am asking so many questions today. Questions, I have answers of. It is best if she is away from me ' this is the one nine-word answer to all of my questions. I'm afraid, not the solution. Ironically, a vampire has something to be afraid of. This is just getting better and better. Better laugh at the irony than mourning when the least you can do is, try to really feel it! 

Edited by -Kanky- - 13 years ago

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Posted: 13 years ago
*Reserved*

Edited: 

Kanky πŸ€— How have you been behna? 

'Bout the One Shot..Brilliantly framed piece. I loved the way you elaborated on Abhays feelings in this whole situation. 
In these situations [when someones true identity is revealed] everyone including me thinks about what the girl must be feeling like. It actually makes you wonder that she must be freaking out...oh, my god..how will she react..and stuff. But its really great to go through what the guy is feeling like. He has so many questions in his mind...hurt..sorta confused...given up on the whole thing...Beautiful! Gosh, you rock! πŸ˜†πŸ€—

The turmoil Piya has put him in, by distancing herself from him, has really put him on an edge. He has even started evaluating all the minuses of this bonding- the grand daughters age thing.He knows he can't stay away from Piya..so he is actually thinking of all the negetives of the relationship, instead of trying to handle the situation. 

Its a great POV from the guys side..and hope you write more of it!! 

Do write more!! Muahxxx..

-Deby πŸ€—


Edited again: 
Yayy! *dances* First to comment....
Edited by jeflkjfkljfkj - 13 years ago
Akankshaa. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Res.

-EDITED-

^^ I wanted the first spot. πŸ˜‘ :P

Anyway, Kanky, beautiful OS. πŸ€— You are so truly wonderfully amazingly gifted, and I could feel Abhay in this FF. Which, rather, comes surprisingly to me since I have never been able to even sympathise with him, let alone feel him. But this OS evokes just the right emotions - Pain, Irony, Heartbreak, Loss. And the way you write it.. It's marvellous. I mean, it's intriguing, capturing, and you can't help it but feel like you are in a trance. Kaala jaadu n all. πŸ˜† 

Loved it, really. Very well done. <33
Edited by _Akanksha_ - 13 years ago
.Jane.. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Wow! You really sorted out Abhay's confusion. I agree when you say that neither is to be blamed, they both have their own circumstances and justified ways of dealing with this.
I, specially, like how you said that that 'Stay away from me, Pia' thing was an answer, NOT a solution.
Very well-written as always, Kanks!πŸ€—
Thanks for the PM😊

-Edited-

Oh btw, I loved this para! It highlighted how Abhay cannot stay away from Pia no matter what! It's like he's drawn to her like a magnet!

"Had I not been always there, she would have only hated me and not hated loving me. But how could I ever let her be in trouble when I could rescue? Isn't it reasonable enough that it is just not in my might to stay away from her, to not help her when she's in trouble?"
Edited by Chill_Out - 13 years ago
thegameison thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by: jeflkjfkljfkj

*Reserved*


Edited: 

Kanky πŸ€— How have you been behna? 

'Bout the One Shot..Brilliantly framed piece. I loved the way you elaborated on Abhays feelings in this whole situation. 
In these situations [when someones true identity is revealed] everyone including me thinks about what the girl must be feeling like. It actually makes you wonder that she must be freaking out...oh, my god..how will she react..and stuff. But its really great to go through what the guy is feeling like. He has so many questions in his mind...hurt..sorta confused...given up on the whole thing...Beautiful! Gosh, you rock! πŸ˜†πŸ€—

The turmoil Piya has put him in, by distancing herself from him, has really put him on an edge. He has even started evaluating all the minuses of this bonding- the grand daughters age thing.He knows he can't stay away from Piya..so he is actually thinking of all the negetives of the relationship, instead of trying to handle the situation. 

Its a great POV from the guys side..and hope you write more of it!! 

Do write more!! Muahxxx..

-Deby πŸ€—




Debby! πŸ€—

I am doing really well, how have you been?

I couldn't have honestly thought of what Pia must have been through, provided I was disgusted with her behavior that night. I have never taken up on this institution but I think, its just impossible for you to fear or hate somebody you've always so deeply loved, irrespective to who they turn out as. πŸ€“ 

Abhay's intrinsic. His thoughts are always a challenge thingie to write, challenges the writer in me - so I give it trials every now and then but publish none. πŸ˜†

Thank you so much, by the way. You're encouraging! πŸ˜Š
Edited by -Kanky- - 13 years ago
thegameison thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 13 years ago

-EDITED-

^^ I wanted the first spot. πŸ˜‘ :P

Anyway, Kanky, beautiful OS. πŸ€— You are so truly wonderfully amazingly gifted, and I could feel Abhay in this FF. Which, rather, comes surprisingly to me since I have never been able to even sympathise with him, let alone feel him. But this OS evokes just the right emotions - Pain, Irony, Heartbreak, Loss. And the way you write it.. It's marvellous. I mean, it's intriguing, capturing, and you can't help it but feel like you are in a trance. Kaala jaadu n all. πŸ˜† 

Loved it, really. Very well done. <33


________
 
The feeling you get when people fight for first spots in your threads - πŸ₯³!! 

Black magic, ah? This is so getting better. πŸ˜† Thanks a lot! I am glad you made a comment, after all. πŸ˜ƒ
Edited by -Kanky- - 13 years ago
thegameison thumbnail
Anniversary 13 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by: Chill_Out

Wow! You really sorted out Abhay's confusion. I agree when you say that neither is to be blamed, they both have their own circumstances and justified ways of dealing with this.

I, specially, like how you said that that 'Stay away from me, Pia' thing was an answer, NOT a solution.
Very well-written as always, Kanks!πŸ€—
Thanks for the PM😊

-Edited-

Oh btw, I loved this para! It highlighted how Abhay cannot stay away from Pia no matter what! It's like he's drawn to her like a magnet!

"Had I not been always there, she would have only hated me and not hated loving me. But how could I ever let her be in trouble when I could rescue? Isn't it reasonable enough that it is just not in my might to stay away from her, to not help her when she's in trouble?"


________
 

His confusions confuse me. And I have noticed, most men irrespective of the supernatural quotient being present or no are pessimistic. Fiction is getting so predictable these days. πŸ˜†

Hey, thank you. I liked the grand daughter's age sentence the most, BTW. That's ironic as hell. Thank you bundles anyway, I appreciate this. πŸ˜Š
Edited by -Kanky- - 13 years ago
.Jane.. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Originally posted by: -Kanky-



________
 

His confusions confuse me. And I have noticed, most men irrespective of the supernatural quotient being present or no are pessimistic. Fiction is getting so predictable these days. πŸ˜†

Hey, thank you. I liked the grand daughter's age sentence the most, BTW. That's ironic as hell. Thank you bundles anyway, I appreciate this. πŸ˜Š


Ya, that sentence cracked me up big time🀣 πŸ€£
No problem, sweets! I love the way you write!πŸ€—

@predictable: No commentsπŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

-Edited-

I love your Sonam avi!
Edited by Chill_Out - 13 years ago
DulceAmor thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
thanks for the PM, Kanky. The OS is wonderful. You have captured Abhay's character very well - you have conveyed his agony and his sense of irony of his situation perfectly - i could feel his emotions leaping off the screen.
-Destiny- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
I'll be   back  damn  Soon Promiseee